Krystal kept eyeing Amber during F(x) rehearsal for their Dimension 4 Encore concert in Yokohama. She noticed that Amber seemed to be very close to one of their dancer unnie, too close for Krystal’s liking. Both of them always playing with each other, went out to find food or snack, and this dancer unnie always sticking by Amber’s side. Krystal didn’t like it, she knew she was not supposed to feel that but it doesn’t change the fact that she felt that way.

“Unnie, you must be thirsty. Here you go.”, Krystal saw Amber picked up a bottle of water and gave it to the dancer unnie.

“Aahh.., thank you! You’re so sweet, dear!!”, the dancer unnie squealed in happiness and pinched Amber’s cheek cutely. Amber just smiled widely and gave the dancer unnie a big warm hug.

Krystal scoffed by herself in the corner of the stage and tried to ignore it. She couldn’t believe herself that her heart was unable to get rid of jealousy whenever she saw Amber were getting close to someone else. With her status as someone’s girlfriend, she should not have this kind of feeling. She thought whatever feelings she had for Amber was gone. Since Krystal became official with Jongin, Amber was done a very good job in maintaining her feelings towards Krystal (or maybe she was good at pretending). They can hang-out again as good friends, even they were successfully obeyed the boundaries between them when they hang-out without Victoria and Luna. Until now, until she saw Amber being a little bit intimate with other girl, her emotion came back in a heartbeat.

Amber circled her hand on the dancer unnie’s waist, walking together to the backstage. To be honest, Amber was tired of thinking whatever she felt towards Krystal. Krystal looked incredibly happy nowadays and the only thing that Amber can be thankful was, at least Jongin treated her right.  Her heart ache everytime the thought that she was not the one who gave those happiness came to her mind, but maybe this time she has to give up. She should’ve given up long time ago. She kept telling herself to move on, like literally and pushed herself to move on. Amber knew it was hard because moving on is something that she was unable to do even when she was dating Ellin before. But now she had to, she had no choice. If she can have fun flirting and doing stuff with girls, she would do it as a part of her move-on mission.

“Why do you have to be this cute, Amber?”, the dancer unnie whispered into Amber’s ear. Amber immediately can sense that she was flirting.

“I am this cute with you only, Unnie. You’re special. ”, Amber flirted back, tighten her grip on the dancer unnie’s waist. She could see the dancer unnie’s face blushed.

“Can we ---“, before dancer unnie continue, Amber has nodded and dragged her faster to the backstage.

Krystal almost felt that her feet move by itself to follow Amber, but the ringing on her phone startled her and stopped her from moving. She looked to her phone annoyingly and found Jongin’s name on the screen. The thought that she has a boyfriend who cares for her make her smile and somewhat comforted her from the turmoil of seeing Amber’s behavior just now.

“Hi, Jongin!”, she answered her call happily.

“Soojung! What are you doing, babe? Am I interrupting your practice? I can call you back later if that is the case.”, Krystal can heard Jongin asked her sweetly on the other line.

But before Krystal can answer, she saw Amber and the dancer unnie has gone missing from her sight. They must have gone to the backstage and Krystal cannot fight the urge to end the phone in hurry to chase the couple.

“Uh…yeah..uhm.. well…”, Krystal could not concentrate as her eyes trying to trace Amber.

“Huh, what? You want me to call you back?”, Jongin sounded confuse hearing Krystal unclear response.

“…..”

“Soojung? Hey.. Are you there?”

Krystal was snapped back when she heard Jongin called her name a little bit louder on the phone. “Ah, sorry.. I got distracted by something. No it’s fine. We’re doing rehearsal but we’re on the break now.”

“Ah, no worries. Uhm, I miss you, Soojung.”, Jongin chirped on the phone after feel relieved that Krystal’s attention was back on the phone.  

 “Does anyone see Amber? Where is she?”, Victoria can be seen walking on the state, back and forth, looking for Amber.

This got Krystal distracted again, and she didn’t pay any attention to whatever Jongin said earlier.

“Huh? What?”

Jongin was sighed on the other line. “I said I miss you, Soojung.”

Krystal started feeling guilty because she ignored her boyfriend. She knew no matter busy Jongin was, he always tried to find a time to communicate with her. But her mind was not with Jongin, she needed to find Amber, now. She wanted to know what Amber was doing with their dancer unnie.

“I am sorry, Jongin. We can’t find Amber and we need to start again. I will call you later, okay. Miss you too, baby.”, Krystal quickly said and ended the phone afterwards.  

Krystal knew Amber was in the backstage, she was sure she saw both Amber and dancer unnie went there before. She silently went to the backstage, looking in every corner to find Amber. And finally she spotted them, in one of a very corner of the backstage that was quite dark, hidden from people’s sight, she found Amber and the dancer unnie doing.. she actually can’t figure out what they were doing. Whether they kissed, or fooling around, or just giggling and flirting. Her blood suddenly boiled at the view.

“Amber!”, she shouted, loud enough to make the couple stop whatever they were doing. They both turn their face and a little bit shocked to see Krystal, standing there.

“Krystal?? What are you doing here?”, Amber asked, she moved further away from dancer unnie.

“We are looking for you. We’re about to start again.”, Krystal replied coldly.

“Erghm..”, the dancer unnie cleared , looking nervously. “Okay, then. Thanks for letting us know, Krystal. Amber, let’s go then.”, she grabbed Amber’s arm to dragged her out from the backstage.

But to their surprise, Krystal’s hand has reached and grabbed Amber’s other wrist, pulling her back.

“I need to talk to you.”, she said to Amber, her eyes looked straightly to Amber’s. From her voice, Amber knew it was not a request, it sounded more like an order.

The dancer unnie got the cue and she let Amber’s hand go and walked away from the backstage. Leaving Amber alone with Krystal.

“What’s wrong?”, Amber asked Krystal innocently.

“What are you doing here with her?”, Krystal asked her bluntly.

Amber furrowed her eyebrows. She actually knew where this is going and she didn’t like it. But she still answered it anyway. “Nothing. We’re just talking.”

“In the dark corner like this??”, Krystal’s voice raise a little bit.

Amber inhaled a shaky breath. “What’s your problem?”, she started to get annoyed.

“Did you guys making out? Are you kidding me? In the middle of rehearsal?”, Krystal raised her voice to another octave, now speaking in English.

“I told you we were just talking. Besides, why do you even get mad over this things?”, Amber couldn’t help to raised her voice as well. She did not get it why Krystal has to make a fuss about it.

“I ---“, a paused from Krystal, there is no way she would tell Amber that she was jealous. That would be ridiculous. “What if you get caught? There lots of people here. You have to remember our status as an idol, Amber! You can risk our reputation!!”, finally Krystal used that reason, which, only made Amber grew angrier.

Amber hands turned into a fist. She felt that her anger has building up.  She couldn’t believe Krystal said that. Krystal never cared about all of those things when they were dating, heck, she even promised that she will fight for their relationship together with Amber no matter what. But now, she sounded like everyone else in SM. Keep pushing and telling Amber that she had to be careful to protect their image, something that always make Amber depressed and frustrated.

“Really, what is wrong with you?? And please, it is not even your problem anymore!! I know what I am doing, Krystal. STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!!!”, Amber started to shout.

“Don’t shout at me, Amber! I am just concern about you and our group!!”, Krystal shouted back.

“Since when do you care what SM said, especially about this thing??!? You really change, you know that?!!? Does he change you like this? Huh?”, Amber raised her eyebrow.

Krystal got annoyed as Amber kept raising her voice. And she could not accept Amber’s accusation that she had changed. She was not, she was jealous.

“Leave Jongin out of this!! This has nothing to do with him!!”, Krystal retorted.

“Oh yeah?? Because now you found a boyfriend, you started acting like everyone else in SM. Too paranoid about my behavior towards girls!! WHERE’S KRYSTAL THAT I KNOW???”

“I am not like that!! I always support you. But I am concern because I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND, AMBER!”, Krystal pointed to herself, desperately ensure that she was not, actually, jealous. 

Amber scoffed and rolled her eyes. “No you’re not! Stop saying that! If you acting like this that you’re not!! YOU HEAR ME?”, she got disappointed at Krystal because she thought Krystal would not ever lecture her about her ‘choice’ of life.

“STOP SHOUTING AT ME!”, Krystal screamed. Amber’s loud voice has sent her at the edge of her rage. Her frustration grew larger as she didn’t know how to handle this and lead them to have a non-sense fight, and even worse, making Amber got the wrong idea of what she actually feels.  “I don’t like it! I don’t like seeing you like this!!! You’re also change, you know! STOP FLIRTING AROUND!!”, Krystal just didn’t know what other reason that she wanted to use. She started blabbering whatever she had in her mind.

“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ANYWAY? YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CONTROL MY LIFE, KRYSTAL! JUST, STOP DOING THAT! I AM NOT YOUR PUPPET.”, Amber now yelled at Krystal’s face. She looked very mad and couldn’t control her emotion anymore.

 Krystal was taken aback hearing Amber words. It was actually hurt her that Amber thought that she treated Amber as her puppet. She gulped. She wanted to say anything more but she felt that she was about to cry. Amber saw Krystal clenched her jaw and how red Krystal’s face was. Amber knew immediately that she hurt Krystal’s feeling.

“Fine!!”, Krystal abruptly turned her body around. She felt that her tears will be coming down soon so she walked away from Amber. But Amber quickly grabbed her wrist and tried to pull her back.

“Wait, Krystal.. Wait.. I am sorry.”, Amber started panicking, like she always did when they had a fight before. It feels weird to have a big fight when they were not even together to begin with. And it felt even weirder that their habit when they fight has never changed.

“Let me go! LET ME GO, AMBER!”, Krystal tried to yanked Amber’s hand away. When they both struggled, footsteps can be heard and Victoria and Luna’s figures were now standing right in front of them.

“What happens here? What’s going on?”, Victoria asked, confused. She heard yelling and actually she knew that Amber and Krystal must have a fight.

Amber instantly let Krystal’s hand go and Krystal walked away and simply said ‘nothing’. Luna saw that Krystal was crying so she followed Krystal immediately to comfort her. Victoria looked at Amber, trying to get an explanation from her.

“It’s complicated. We’ll deal with it later.”, Amber just answer it shortly. Her energy was draining from the fight and she didn’t have the mood to explain anything right now. She was about to walked away too to go back to the stage but Victoria stopped her.

“Amber.”, she didn’t say anything further, but her voice was stern. She demanded something from Amber because she didn’t want this fight affect their performance later.

Amber let out a defeated sigh. “I don’t even know what happen, okay?! Krystal just…. Saying something about protecting our image, just because she saw me with our dancer unnie. And I ---”, Amber paused, and just left her words hanging as she didn’t know how to describe her feelings.

Victoria nodded. “I understand. We will talk about this later, okay. But promise me both of you must not ruin the concert.”

Victoria did understand. She knew Krystal was jealous. But of course, she will not tell this to Amber. She will see how they deal with it first, but if nothing can be solved until tomorrow, she might take action as the mediator. Tomorrow is their last encore and Victoria just wanted F(x) to truly having fun and give everything for the sake of the fans. How they can show the real F(x) bond if they hold any burden or any grudge towards each other?

The concert went well. Of course, they were idols. They trained to keep smiling no matter what happened, they were taught to keep happy, no matter how they feel at that moment. The show must go on and they have to put aside whatever sadness or unpleasant feeling they have. But somehow, having fun at the concert actually helped both of them to forget about the fight and at least, compromise with each other.    

When they were about to enter the van to go back to the hotel from the concert venue, Amber immediately took a sit beside Krystal. Luna and Victoria understand that they needed to give a space and they both opted to sit in the front seat. Krystal perfectly aware that Amber sat beside her because she wanted to settle their fight. Without saying anything, Krystal just leaned her head to Amber’s shoulders and of course, Amber let her, as usual.

“Tired?”, Amber asked.

“A bit.”, Krystal answered it with a mumble.

A paused followed both of them. Before finally Krystal broke the silence.

“I am sorry.”, she turned her head to meet Amber’s gaze.

“I am sorry too.”, Amber replied, smiling at Krystal.

“I didn’t mean what I said. I just ---“, Krystal’s words stuck on , she tried to pick her words. Amber just kept quiet, waiting for Krystal to continue.

“You know.. I was just.. I am scared… “, Krystal went silent again, now she looked down, avoiding Amber. Amber’s eyes trailed down to follow Krystal’s movement, taking in what Krystal was saying, but still say nothing.

“If --- If you get close to someone new, if you --- date someone else, then there will be distance between us. You will – you’ll forget me.”, Krystal’s voice crack, she was stuttering when she tried to explain.   

Upon hearing Krystal’s confession, without even thinking about it, Amber’s hand moved and gently hold Krystal’s hand.

“I promised that I will not go anywhere, didn’t I?”, she chuckled lightly and squeezed Krystal’s hand.

There are  no further words needed. Any explanation would not change anything anyway. Krystal leaned her head back to Amber’s shoulder. Krystal had to realize that there is no point of having jealousy at this moment and Amber has promised herself to always be there for Krystal. One day, there will be a time when they can buried their feelings to each other, when their remaining romantic feeling hopefully turn into purely platonic love. For now, at their tiring day like this, being close to each other feels like heaven and they both just wanted to embrace it.