It was already in the morning when Amber realized that she was still awake. She could not sleep last night. The image of her leaving Krystal on the drama set was still fresh in her mind. She felt stupid, helpless, confuse. She almost asked Krystal whether Krystal wanted to join her for a late night drink last night, or maybe if she could come by to Krystal house to talk. But that questions froze at the tip of her tongue and she could not let it out. It was hard. She curse herself for being a coward.

Amber finally chose to wake up anyway since she was unable to force herself to sleep. She made a coffee and just sit on the living room, trying to figure out how to handle this situation. When she met Krystal yesterday, it was…. She can’t even described it with words anymore. It was overwhelming,
her world seemed to be flipped upside down, she wanted to kiss her, she craved for Krystal’s heart and she wanted to give her whole soul to Krystal.

Just one interview, it was already made her crawling back to being frightened. But as a result, she felt incomplete, empty and restless as she was unable to sleep. There was a hollow that she could not even explain to herself. She was disappointed, how could she let sentences on interview ruined her belief on Krystal? She should not forget how much Krystal meant for her and why she should fight for her at the first place.

Amber did not want to spend her whole life wondering how Krystal really feels about her, what could have happened if she was brave herself and ask Krystal to get back together with her. She didn't want to spend her days with regrets when later, Krystal will be taken by someone else, just because she was being a coward now. If Krystal rejected her, at least she knew where she should stand. And this is Amber and Krystal, there is no problem that they can't solve right, even if they ended up as only friends?

Amber’s phone suddenly ringing, waking up Amber from her thinking. She found Krystal’s name there. She bent her eyebrow, wondering why Krystal called on this early morning.

“Hi Am!!”, Krystal greeted her, Amber can sense that her voice did not sound as happy as yesterday.

“Princess? Why are you already awake? You have to shoot this early?”

“Uh… Not really. It still in 3 hours. But I don’t know why I could not sleep.”, Krystal said. Amber was chuckled. There was a bit relief in her heart since it apparently not only her that could not sleep. Krystal too.

“You awake already?”, Krystal asked again, she also wondering why Amber didn’t sound like she was just woke up when she answered the phone.

“Don’t know. I can’t sleep to well too last night.”, Amber opted to reply in all honesty.

Krystal chuckled for a little bit before continue. “Uh.. --- Am… You know.. uhm.. ---“

“Yes?”

“I guess my shoot will finish early today. Would you come to the set again? We can have dinner after that.”

Amber was stunned, didn’t expect that Krystal would invite her this time. Amber felt there was a glimmer of hope when that invitation slides from Krystal’s lips.

“Yeah, sure. Just tell me what time you shoot will end and I will come fetch you.”

Amber unconsciously smiled when she ended the call. Maybe there was a hope for her to get Krystal back. If Krystal just want to be friends, there was no way she would call Amber early in this morning just to ask Amber to meet her again, right?? Screw what she said from the interview, Amber will gather her courage to stop being a coward today.

Before Amber went to the set, she was looking at herself at the mirror. She sighed nervously and checked herself for hundred times, to make sure that she would look good in front of Krystal. She mentally smiled, thinking how weird it was, as if she was about to go on a date with Krystal for the first time. But strangely, she liked the feeling of it. It reminded her of a feeling when she first time brought Krystal on a date and asked her to be her girlfriend. 

As expected, by the time Amber arrived on Krystal’s drama set, Krystal’s co-stars and said that Amber indeed is a servant to Krystal. Amber’s heart was already pounding heart when Krystal clung to her and walked together to the van. She knew that today will be the day that would change her life, the turning point of her relationship with Krystal that was always trapped in a grey area.  They asked manager Oppa to drop them on a restaurant where they can enjoy dinner and drinks not far from Krystal’s drama set.

Nobody talked about the sensitive topic on their relationship while they were eating. Krystal just updated Amber about her shoot, how her co-stars really like Amber, and how excited she was to stare in the drama without love storyline this time. On the other hand, Amber informed Krystal that she is scheduled to attend Seoul Fashion Week on October and she was a bit nervous on what she was about to wear.  

After their stomach was full with food, Krystal suggested to order a wine. Krystal actually needed it. She already planned that she will ask Amber and talk about their relationship, and she would need help an alcohol as a booster to get her courage. She still didn’t know how to begin, but she will do it no matter what.

After they finished their first glass, all of the sudden a silence approached them. Neither Amber or Krystal were dare to look each other in the eyes, Krystal lowered her head while Amber just stared at nowhere. Both of them wanted to start talking, but still confuse how to begin the conversation.  Both of them want the same thing, yet have the same fear.

“Well…. ---“

“I….---- “

They both ended up talking at the same time. Then when they realized, they stopped and chuckled. They do realized how awkward this moment was, but this is not the time to back off. They have to do it, once and for all.

“Go ahead, Krys.”, Amber offered.

“No. No. You go first, Am.”, Krystal retorted.

“No. Krystal, you’re the one who asked me to come. So, shoot, please say what you want to say first.”, Amber insisted. She thought that if she could make Krystal talk first, at least she will get the clue on how Krystal felt about her, what Krystal want for their relationship. So Amber can think about her next step and how she should respond.

Krystal fell in silent and bit her own lips. It was obvious that she was nervous. But Amber loved this habit of Krystal, she looked so cute and y whenever she bite her own lips.

“Okay.”, Krystal sighed and started to begin. “I have done a lot of thinking. And I think it’s about time that we talk about what we want, about our relationship. What do you think?”

“Huh?”, Amber was confused on why Krystal asked her instead.

“You heard me. And I already said what I wanted to say and I asked you. Now it is your turn to talk.”, Krystal pressed Amber. If Krystal wanted to be honest, she was embarrassed to bluntly asked Amber to get back together right away.

“What? But that’s… ---“, Amber was about to protested when Krystal cut her.

“God!! Amber!!”, Krystal groaned in frustration. “What’s the matter with you?!? Don’t you miss me at all? Why did you just meet me and left like yesterday? Don’t you care about me at all??”, Krystal asked again, her voice went higher.  

Amber stared at her in disbelief, startled and a bit shock. “Wha… -- What’s the matter with me? What’s the matter with you? Why suddenly you being like this?”

“Are you going to be like this forever?? Say something!!”, Krystal shot another jab to Amber,  she started to lose her patient.

“I…. --- “, Amber tried to open but she still didn’t find any words to say to Krystal.

“Fine! There’s no point of doing this. I am leaving!”, Krystal abruptly stood up from her chair.

Seeing Krystal was about to leave, Amber got panicked and quickly grabbed Krystal’s wrist. “No. Please stay Krystal!! Please… I… ---“

“What???”, Krystal asked Amber again in louder voice. Their drama started to draw attention from the other customers on the restaurant and they look at them.  

 “Look… I… --- I saw the interview!!”, instead of saying much, Amber finally brought up about the lifebar interview. The one that made her doubt everything about Krystal.

“What interview?”, Krystal stopped her movement and bent her eyebrows in confusion.

“The lifebar interview.”, Amber gulped, hoping that what she said can catch Krystal’s attention.

“Oh.”, finally Krystal understand. She went back to sit on her chair and calmed herself. It started to make sense. If Amber saw the interview and heard what she said on the interview, she could get the wrong idea. Krystal sighed, she poured another wine to her glass and took a sip. Ready to explain.

“Amber…”, she shook her head slowly. “It’s… --- I mean…  of all my relationships, I have never get back together with any of my ex. That is the fact.”, Krystal paused and took a deep breath.

Amber still stared at her, waiting patiently for Krystal to continue. She was so tense until she didn’t even realized that she already finished the wine in her second glass.

“But… --- it is not about us. It is more about what I had with Jongin. You know, people still relate everything I do with Jongin and vice versa. I mean.. – I understand that some of the fans still want us to get back together and I don’t blame them. But it is not fair for me and for him too. We both are over, and deserve to be happy. Just not with each other.”, Krystal finished her explanation, hoping to clear up the situation to Amber. 

Amber felt her heavy burden lifted from her shoulder. She was so relieved to hear Krystal's explanation. Her confidence grew back again, that Krystal still loves her and she was this close to make Krystal’s hers again. Suddenly she saw a rainbow formed and surrounded them, there were butterflies flung around her stomach. This is it. She will confess about her feelings now.

Hearing no response from Amber, Krystal added more. “But didn’t I say that although I never get back together with an ex, there is a possibility that I would do it in future?”, she asked Amber.

Amber grinned. “Sorry, I already didn’t pay attention to the rest of the interview after you said that.”, she said honestly which earned a laugh from Krystal.

 “I love you.”, Amber bluntly blurted out and her hand reach Krystal’s hand and held it. She couldn’t take it anymore, she really wanted to say that words out loud to Krystal’s face.

Krystal was startled on Amber’s sudden action. “Huh??”

Amber drew her hand back quickly, afraid someone might catch them as they were in a public place. They already caused a scene before and people didn’t need to see another one. “I have done a lot of thinking too. And I am sure, Soojungie. I love you, it’s always been you. I want you and never anyone else, just you.”

Krystal smiled when she finally heard what she wanted to hear all along. She felt wonderful, now the time seemed to stop and the voices of those around them were gone. She just wanted to hear Amber's voice as what she said sounds like a love song on Krystal’s ear.

“I know this is scary. I am not going to lie that I am scared too. And I don’t know what would happen in the future, but I know I will do everything to make it work. I think… -- we were so young back then so we didn’t know how to handle the hardship and we gave up easily. But we’re different now, we’ve grown, we’ve matured, we’ve been through a lot and I am sure nothing that we can’t handle now.”, Amber added, trying to express her true feelings in her confession. 

“We don’t have to be scared, Am. We have each other. I don’t need to be scared, because you will protect my heart, right?”, Krystal asked, her eyes expressed hope. But this time the hope was real as it was right there in front of her.

“Of course, princess. I will. You and your heart are precious to me and I will cherish it.”, Amber smiled, her eyes and even her words were flooded with the taste of sweet love.

“Eh wait.”, Krystal squinted her eyes after she finished her second glass. “This means, we’re back together right?”, she pointed her fingers to Amber and to herself, confirmed again what actually happening right now, making sure she didn’t take the wrong idea.

Amber laughed when she heard Krystal questions. “Ah, sorry. I forgot to ask the million dollar question. I want us to try again, be in a relationship again. Do you… -- “

“You don’t need to ask, stupid.”, Krystal replied even before Amber finished her questions and smiling sweetly. There were mixed feeling inside her, joyful, touched, relieved, all mixed into one. Her lips refused to stop smiling, and Krystal felt like she was tasting the sweet of heaven at this moment.   

Amber felt her chest could explode anytime now due to happiness that was currently blanketed her. Finally….. after she waited all these years, after everything that they’ve been through, she can finally said that Krystal is her girlfriend, officially.   

“You know I really really really want to kiss you right now. But damn I can’t do it because we’re at the public place right now”, Amber frowned, trying to fight the urge to pounce on Krystal now, to celebrate this happy moment with her only love.

Krystal giggled. “Then, why don’t we just go back to my place so we can spend our time alone?”, she suggested.

With what Krystal said, they hurriedly asked for the bill and call for a cab, they didn’t even bother to ask manager oppa to pick them up as it would takes time. Inside the cab, their fingers interlace immediately, as an assurance that they have claimed each other’s this time.

“You have no idea how happy I am right now.”, Amber whispered and stole a peck on Krystal's cheek.

Krystal squeezed Amber’s hand on her grip. “Me too. I have been waiting for this moment to come. I love you, Am.”

“Love you too, princess.”, even in the darkness of the night, inside the cab, they found sparkles on each other’s eyes.

They kissed immediately when they entered Krystal’s house, unable to wait any longer to melt on each other’s lips. When their lips touched, there was electricity flowing into their bodies, giving a beautiful surprise, awakening the memory they want to reminisce, quenching all the thirst they have been suppressed all this time.

“Wait… where’s Jess?”, Amber mumbled while was still on Krystal’s lips. She wanted to make sure that Krystal sister won't catch them making out. 

Krystal pulled back and giggled. “She’s not here. I am amazed you still can be aware of this kind of thing  in the middle of our kissing.”

They finally plopped themselves onto the sofa while Amber kept kissing Krystal like there was no tomorrow. She kept muttering the words ‘I love you’ in between kisses, and Amber didn’t want to stop, as if time was never enough for her to tell how much she loves Krystal.

“Am…”, Krystal said softly when they pulled back, grasping some air.

“Hmm?”

“You really sure about this, right? You know this is not going to be easy.”, Krystal asked her, her hand went up to caress Amber’s cheek.

Amber kissed her again, a slow and chaste kiss this time. “It’s too late to back out now, princess.”, she chuckled.

“I am not going to back out. But I think we need to be aware of what we will face ahead of us. “, Krystal leaned on Amber’s chest. Amber fixed her position to wrap her hand on Krystal’s shoulder, welcoming her princess in her embrace. “Our situation now is different. We are not promoting like we used to with F(x) where I can see you almost everyday.”

Amber kissed Krystal’s forehead to calm her. “I know.  But, I am sure we both know that now, our work is important for both of us and we should not let our relationship to become a burden for our work.I will not prevent you from doing whatever you like, I will always be with you when you go through your career and I want to be a part of your happiness when you become successful. If we have to do a long distance relationships for now to support each other’s goal and happiness, I don’t care. As long as you’re with me, I am game!”, Amber smiled and looked down to face Krystal’s eyes.

Hearing Amber's sincerity and how much Amber loved her, Krystal felt her courage grow and all of her fears vanished. She has Amber in her life. Wherever she goes, Amber will always be by her side. No matter how far or near they were to each other, Amber will never let her walk alone.

“Just don’t flirt with other girls whenever I am not around.”, Krystal pinched Amber’s nose playfully and kissed her. “I miss this lips so much!”, she then giggled again, unable to hide her happiness.  

For the first time in a long time, they both slept with a smile on each other’s embrace, happily. No more doubts, no more fear. The only feels that surrounded them was the tenderness of love, like they were living in a dream. What they have now was real, no more lies, no more pretending. They will walk again in one path, facing another day and building a life together in harmony.