Too much for her mind. Chaewon tried to study, she thought about it. She was in class, she thought about it.  

But why was it so important if Hyejoo was gay or not? It didn’t matter. She couldn’t judge her for it. She promised herself she wouldn’t do it.  

But then, why did she find herself trying to avoid Hyejoo? Not that she ignored her. Chaewon still talked to her if they happened to find each other on campus, but she tried to make it all very casual and fast. She hadn’t been able to shake off her date joke either.  

Chaewon couldn’t stay behind in her studies and so she took the opportunity to try to focus on that.  

But as the week went by, something was missing. She didn’t want to admit it, but she missed spending time with Hyejoo. She was fun to hang out with, despite the fact she smoked so much she constantly smelled like an ashtray and couldn’t say more than a couple of words without swearing... And she was gay.  

No, that didn’t matter. It wasn’t because she was gay that she would like Chaewon, just like she was straight and didn't like every boy she talked to. But that would be difficult in the first place since she didn’t talk to any boys.  

So, when she found Hyejoo sitting alone on a bench after classes that Friday, she gathered all her guts, put her thoughts away and walked towards her.  

“Hi, Hyejoo!” She tried to sound normal, but she was never that enthusiastic.  

“Hey.” Hyejoo removed her airpods, but didn’t bother looking at her, and kept her eyes down.  

“Did something happen?”  

“No.”  

“Are… you sure? You’re normally more hyped than this.”  

“I woke up like this today. Don’t worry, it will pass.”  

This behavior was something new to Chaewon. She was used to a brighter Hyejoo, who smiled at her whenever she saw her.  

Hyejoo reached for her bag to take out a cigarette.  

“Smoking again?”  

“Yes.” She took a long drag, exhaling the smoke to the other side.  

Chaewon sighed and Hyejoo met her eyes for the first time since she got there.  

“Why’s that face?” Hyejoo irked an eyebrow.  

“Why do you smoke?”  

“It feels good. It helps me relax. Wanna try?”  

Chaewon scowled. “No.”  

“Good. I wouldn’t give it to you anyway.”  

“Why?”  

“’Cuz it’s bad for your health.”  

“Then why do you do it?”  

“I don’t know, maybe it will end my life faster.” Hyejoo shrugged.  

She would never expect that answer. Coming from Hyejoo, she expected some silly answer like to make me look cool, but…  

“Do you really mean that?”  

Hyejoo kept silent, and Chaewon feared what could be going on inside her head.  

“Maybe.”  

Without thinking, Chaewon grabbed her left hand (Hyejoo always held her cigarette with her right hand).  

“Hyejoo, I have no idea what’s going on in your life, I don’t know what you went through, but do not do anything you would regret doing!” She talked fast. Hyejoo stared at her with raised eyebrows as she continued. “And please know that you’re not alone. If you need to talk you can talk to me or even Sooyoung or Jiwoo, I’m sure they would love to be there for you, and I’m sure you also have tons of friends in your class as well, so count on us okay? Even though I don’t quite know what I can do right now to help you but-”  

“Chaewon, it’s okay,” Hyejoo interrupted, stopping her from running out of air. “I’m fine, really. I don’t wanna kill myself if that was what you were thinking. And… I’m feeling better now because you’re here. Thank you.”  

What was breathing?  

“And don’t you wanna become a therapist? You need to get better at that.” Hyejoo nudged her arm.  

“Y-Yah, I’m still learning. And sorry, I kind of panicked when you said that. But I still meant everything.”  

Hyejoo smiled, at last. “I know. I also meant that you make me feel better.”  

Chaewon gulped. “I-I’m glad I can help.”  

Then she finally realized she was still holding on Hyejoo’s hand, and that Hyejoo had wrapped her fingers around her palm.  

“That helped too,” Hyejoo said, making Chaewon snap her head back.  

Yes, Chaewon was freaking out inside. And yes, she still let Hyejoo squeeze her hand.  

---  

The lamp on her desk illuminated her books. Those Chaewon should be reading and taking notes from, instead of staring at her hand like an idiot.  

She shook her head. When she was getting her focus back, the doorbell rang. Chaewon peeked at her phone and it wasn’t even midnight. Sooyoung and Jiwoo had said they would probably arrive late.  

She stood up and walked to the door.  

She should have seen it coming.  

“Jungeun!” Hyejoo leaned against the door frame.  

Chaewon frowned. “Who’s Jungeun?”  

Hyejoo took a step closer and narrowed her eyes at her. “Oh , wait, you ain’t Jungeun, you’re Chaewon, aren’t you? this , I think I lost my contacts.”  

“Contacts? Do you have bad eyesight?”  

“Oh, yes, I can’t see .” Her breathing stunk of alcohol and only when Hyejoo chuckled and the dim light from the inside illuminated her face, Chaewon noticed the cut on her lip and the bruise near her eye.  

“Oh my God, Hyejoo what happened?” Chaewon held on her arms as she took another step closer and almost tripped on herself.  

“A motherer touched my , so I broke his nose.”  

“You broke his nose?!”  

“I hope I did.”  

Chaewon faced up and closed her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath as she asked for help from above.  

“Okay, let’s take care of those wounds, yes?” Chaewon closed the door and held her tight.  

“No one is allowed to touch my !” Hyejoo said as Chaewon dragged her to the bathroom. “Only you, Gowon. You can.”  

Gowon?  

“Sit down,” Chaewon said, closing down the toilet seat cover.  

She fetched the first-aid kit from the cabinet and turned to her, kneeling so she was on her eye level. Hyejoo stared at her with half-open eyes, and Chaewon couldn't put a finger on whatever was going on inside that head.  

“Stay quiet, I’m going to clean up your cut okay?”  

Hyejoo nodded like a little girl. “Did I ever tell you you’re gorgeous?”  

Chaewon kept her eyes on the wound, focusing on her task and doing her best at ignoring.  

“I asked you a question,” Hyejoo said.  

Her eyes twitched, avoiding Hyejoo’s, which seemed to be burning holes on her face.  

“No.”  

“Then, you’re gorgeous.”  

Her hand applied a bit more force on her lip, making Hyejoo hiss.  

“It hurts.”  

“I-I’m sorry.”  

“You’re so gorgeous it actually hurts.”  

“Hyejoo, you’re very drunk.”  

“Gowon, I’m very drunk.”  

Chaewon sighed, trying to keep her mind in place. “Okay, your lip should be fine, careful not to bite it too much, okay? Now let me go get some ice for your eye.”  

She was about to stand up when a hand yanked her down.  

"I hate you," Hyejoo said. "And I'm so furious at you for making me feel this way, 'cause look at your face, you're gorgeous."  

"Do you have a habit of speaking in Taylor Swift lyrics when you’re drunk? I know that song, Hyejoo."  

"Taylor Swift who? I wrote this song. For you. About you. What are you talking about?"  

Chaewon shook her head. "Why did you do this to yourself?"  

"You should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk..." Hyejoo dragged her words as her eyelids became droopier.  

"I give up." Chaewon tried to stand up, wondering if she actually made fun of her or not, but once again, despite being drunk, Hyejoo was strong and kept her in place.  

"You should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong." She now sang, her voice low and husky, as she let her body fall towards Chaewon, her forehead hitting her shoulder. "You've ruined my life, by not being mine." 

Chaewon barely heard her anymore, with how loud her heart throbbed in her ears. She couldn't move her body. She couldn’t keep up with her mind. It felt empty, but full of Hyejoo’s soothing voice.  

"H-Hyejoo," she called, but the only answer she received was her deep breathing. 

What was she going to do? She couldn't go home in this condition. She would have to stay there for the night.  

"Can you stand?" Chaewon asked.  

“Of course I can!” Hyejoo held on to the sides of the toilet to propel herself up, to no avail.  

“Okay, that was a dumb question,” Chaewon mumbled to herself.  

Chaewon grabbed her arms and put them on her shoulders, wrapping her own arms around Hyejoo's waist, and tried to stand up.  

"Can you at least be a bit more helpful?" Chaewon mumbled. She was short and weak, how was she going to drag her? Clumsily, Hyejoo grabbed Chaewon’s arm with one hand and the side of the toilet with another, and with that she was able to stand up. "That helps, thank you."  

She dragged her back to the living room and looked at the couch. No, Chaewon would sleep on the couch and lay Hyejoo on her bed.  

Chaewon took off Hyejoo’s shoes and pulled up the blanket. She was probably asleep already, judging by her steady and slow breathing. She turned to leave her to rest, but her body froze. What if she needed something in the middle of the night, or woke up feeling sick?  

Her mind told her no. But her body still moved towards the bed, laying under the blanket next to Hyejoo.  

So much happened since the doorbell rang that Chaewon felt like she had been in autopilot, and only now her mind was processing everything that happened.  

And Chaewon didn't understand it, any of it. Hyejoo's words and actions. Her own actions. Or the way her body trembled so hard when Hyejoo snuggled closer, and an arm rested around her torso.  

If felt like a bomb dropped into Chaewon's life, shaking everything up so bad she was losing her tracks. She used to have everything under control, at all times, even when she was having a hard time. Why did it feel so different now?  

She was scared. So scared that she couldn't help but cry, but she still held Hyejoo's hand, as she closed her eyes and prayed to the Lord for guidance. And like that, she would silently cry herself to sleep. 

---

A/N: I hope the fluff met your expectations!!!

I actually love this chapter a lot, probably one of my favorite from this entire story. Oh, right, Hyejoo mentioned Jungeun. Look forward to meeting her and other characters pretty soon! ^-^