She tried everything, every explanation her brain could come up with, but nothing made sense. Chaewon added up her weird conversation with Sooyoung some time before, and it only made things more confusing. Did Sooyoung know about this? Had they broken up?! Why wouldn’t she tell her though? They were supposed to be friends. Sooyoung seemed odd before, but not particularly upset.  

Chaewon had to let that out because she couldn’t even focus on her book. She was too confused.  

The door opened and Chaewon stormed inside, with a very confused Hyejoo staring at her.  

“I’m sorry to come here without even warning, it’s just that I need to tell you something.”  

Hyejoo gulped.  

“Okay, I’m sorry for saying it like that, I know it’s a huge trigger. It’s nothing about you, or me, or us. It’s something I saw and it’s messing me up.” Chaewon explained, sitting down and patting the couch beside her for Hyejoo to do the same.  

“Okay, spit it out.”  

Chaewon took a deep breath. “Yesterday, when I was going home... in front of my dorm, t-they were, I mean, they...”  

“They? Who?”  

And when Chaewon was almost done gathering enough courage, the bell rang. She sighed and Hyejoo mumbled an apology as she stood up to open the door.  

“Oh, Kim Lip!” Hyejoo said, and Chaewon stopped breathing. “Oh, Sooyoung, Jiwoo, didn’t know you guys were coming.”  

Chaewon’s eyes widened as she watched the three of them stepping inside.  

“Chaewon just arrived as well. Are you guys up to something?” Hyejoo asked, an eyebrow irked.  

“No, but she wasn’t at the dorm, so we all thought we’d look here first, before things got out of hand,” Jungeun said.  

Hyejoo and Chaewon shared a look.  

“Out of hand? What?” Hyejoo furrowed her brows as she motioned for the three of them to come in. 

The three of them sat on the couch with Chaewon, leaving a confused Hyejoo standing up and staring at them. 

“Chaewon, we know what you saw yesterday. We saw you running.” Jiwoo held her hand, and Chaewon could only hope she didn’t feel her nervousness. 

“I-” Chaewon started, but had no idea what to say. 

“Has she told you, Hyejoo?” Jungeun asked. 

“I was about to, to be perfectly honest. I’m sorry, I just couldn’t ignore it.” Chaewon’s head dropped. 

“Don’t worry about it. We understand it was a lot to take in and the last thing we wanted was for you guys to see something before we talked and got confused about it, so actually, we’re the ones who are sorry for being so careless and such bad friends.” Jungeun sighed. 

“Wait, what?” Hyejoo asked. “What was I about to hear about anyway?” 

“Well, yesterday I saw-” 

“Chaewon saw me and Jiwoo kiss in front of the dorm.” Jungeun cut her short. 

“She saw what?” Hyejoo’s chin dropped, stealing a glance at her girlfriend, who shrugged at her. “I need an explanation.” 

“You’re right, you do,” Sooyoung said, sharing a reassuring look with Jiwoo. “That’s what we’re here for.” 

"There’s no easy way to say this, and I’m sorry if this is too much of a shock... or not? I don’t know anymore,” Jiwoo said, eyeing Hyejoo and Chaewon and taking a deep breath. She grabbed Sooyoung’s and Jungeun’s hands and brought them to her lap. “Well, I’m proud to announce that Jungeun is my girlfriend too. So, Sooyoung and Jungeun are now both my loves.”  

Dead silence. 

“Wait... Are you serious?” Hyejoo asked.  

“Yes.” Sooyoung smiled. “We promise, it’s not a joke. Nobody’s cheating, nobody’s going behind anybody’s back. We’re all consenting and aware of each other, and there’s no hard feelings.”  

“Holy , guys. I noticed you two getting even closer to each other, especially on your birthday.” Hyejoo pointed at Jungeun. “And now it makes sense.”  

Jungeun looked down, trying to hide a shy smile.  

“Seriously, congrats guys, I’m a bit shook, but I’m happy for you,” Hyejoo continued. “You have all my support. I was so worried about how all of this would turn out, but it’s such a relief it worked out in a way that everyone is happy.”  

“We are.” Jiwoo squeezed their hands as they nodded. “We’re sorry we didn’t tell you guys before, we wanted to make sure all of this worked before we made it official, and we planned to tell you as soon as possible. It’s a shame that you had to find out like that, but now it’s out.”  

“How long has this been going on?”  

“A month, roughly.”  

Hyejoo wowed. “Damn, you did that. What’s better than a couple of loving gays? A trouple of loving gays!”  

They all laughed, except...  

“Chaewonie, you okay?” Sooyoung asked.  

“Y-Yes!” She almost jumped on the couch, as if brought back to reality. “Yes, that’s... very cool, I’m really happy for you guys.”  

Jiwoo sighed. “I’m so relieved. I was worried about how you would react. We know polyamorous relationships still don’t get a lot of visibility nowadays. It’s not like they don’t exist, they do, a lot actually. It’s a shame that society thinks that you can only love one person when it really is not like that. Not for me, at least,” Jiwoo explained. “I hope it all makes sense to you now.” 

Chaewon felt her face warming up as she exchanged a quick look with Hyejoo. “Yes, it does. I’m sorry for running away and startling you. I’m relieved.”  

It didn’t make sense. She was not relieved. 

“Now that we’re all here, together and happy, how about I order some food and drinks? Let’s have tonight to celebrate and forget about school,” Hyejoo suggested, phone already in hand. “Jungeun, call Jinsoul and Choerry, tell them to come and break the news to them.”  

---  

Chaewon decided not to go back to the dorm that night. Even during those hours they were supposed to celebrate and have fun, she felt like when she just arrived in Boston - after finding about Sooyoung and Jiwoo, she couldn’t look them in the eye.  

“Is everything okay?” Hyejoo grabbed her hand.  

“I just...”  

“Is it about them?”  

Chaewon nodded, avoiding her eyes.  

“Does it bother you?”  

“It’s not like it bothers me, I mean, it has nothing to do with me, it’s their life, they are the ones that know what’s best for them. It’s just...”  

“You don’t think it’s right?”  

“I don’t want to think like that! I don’t want to judge them!” Chaewon said, her eyes getting watery. 

“Hey, don’t cry.” Hyejoo held her cheeks. “Just the fact that you don’t want to feel like that is good. We all know the background you come from, we all know what you went thought just to accept yourself. This is a new thing, a new challenge for you, that I know you will accept and be fine with, even if it takes a while.”  

Chaewon lifted her head and sniffed. “I can’t imagine how Sooyoung must feel.”  

“Why? She seemed fine. But if you’re worried, talk to her. Maybe it will help you understand the situation better, if you’re that overwhelmed.”  

“Thank you, Hyejoo.” She pecked her lips. “I feel horrible. I want to be happy for them, and it’s not like I’m not, I am, seeing them all smile so much, they seem really happy. I just can’t not get worried.”  

“I don’t think you need to. I’m sure they wouldn’t do anything that would make any of the parts uncomfortable. You noticed how Sooyoung and Jungeun were talking and bickering each other like old times as well? Whatever happened between them, this helped as well.”  

“You’re right. And thank you for not judging me.”  

Hyejoo smiled. “You’re working really hard, I can tell. Tomorrow you should go talk to Sooyoung and you’ll feel better.”  

--- 

And that’s what Chaewon did as soon as she arrived the next day, when she noticed Sooyoung alone at the dorm. She sat next to her, playing with her hands on her lap, and Sooyoung rested her hand on her leg.  

“You okay?”  

“Yes, I just wanted to talk to you.”  

“Is it about the whole situation?” Sooyoung asked, and Chaewon nodded. “I figured you would be confused. Go ahead, ask whatever you want.”  

“How do you feel? About everything?”  

“Great.” Sooyoung smiled at her.  

“Wasn’t it hard for you? I mean, how did this even happen?”  

Sooyoung laid back on the couch. “It wasn’t hard. You know they’ve been best friends for years, and if you think about it, it’s basically the same. Nothing changed between me and Jiwoo. This is not about our relationship, it’s about them. Do you know what I mean?”  

Chaewon hesitated, but shook her head. Sooyoung smiled and leaned forward with her elbows on her knees.  

“Jiwoo talked to me, explained how she felt, and that she realized that maybe she felt the same as Jungeun did, and asked me what I thought about that, if I would be okay. I said yes because I know nothing would change between us.”  

“But how does one have a relationship with two people? Aren’t you afraid that she doesn’t like you the same way anymore, and that’s why she looked for another person?”  

“No,” Sooyoung said. “It’s not like that. She didn’t look for anyone. It was already there, and it just happened. Love is not something that you can measure. It’s not like you have a certain amount that you can give to one person, or have to share between more people. You love Hyejoo, but you also love me, Jiwoo, all your friends, your parents. But it’s a different type of love and relationship with every one of these people. I know Jiwoo loves me the exact same way, but she also loves Jungeun, in a different kind of way, and that’s okay. The fact that she loves her doesn’t change the way she loves me.”  

Chaewon listened to everything with her lips a thin line.  

“Does it make sense to you?” Sooyoung asked.  

“Maybe. I was just worried about you, about how you were really feeling.”  

“Why?”  

“Because I could imagine you doing this for Jiwoo, even if you weren’t a hundred percent comfortable with it. But you would still do it for her.”  

Sooyoung rested her chin on her palms. “I can’t answer that because that never occurred to me. I was always comfortable. I appreciate your concern, but I’m okay, really. I think Jiwoo actually had a harder time through all this.”  

Chaewon frowned. “Why her?”  

“When she started to realize her feelings, she tried to reject it, because she thought she was being unfaithful to me. She’d told me she had felt like this before in her life, and when I told her there was nothing wrong with her and I wouldn’t judge her, she still wouldn’t believe me. Because like she said, we grow up thinking that we can only love and be with one person at a time, and that’s what society tells us. How many times do you see people going like ‘I like this person, but I can’t help having a huge crush on this other person’? Is it really that weird and impossible to like more than one person? People just don’t even think about that possibility because of how formatted our brains are.”  

“I see...” Chaewon said, trying to wrap it all up in her head. She could relate to Jiwoo in the aspect of having a hard time accepting herself, and she never even thought Jiwoo could have suffered as well.  

And hearing Sooyoung’s explanation helped her make some sense of it, but... “It’s just, I thought like, if Hyejoo were to ever feel like that, I would assume I was lacking something, or that she wanted someone better. Or that she even wanted to leave me.”  

“I understand your fear, and you know I was afraid of that exact thing, that she was getting tired of me or would prefer someone better. Despite everything I just told you, it’s only human of me to feel insecure sometimes, and I may sound like I have it all together now, but from time to time, I can’t say I don’t get some bad thoughts.” 

“And how do you deal with that?” 

“I talk to Jiwoo, and she assures me I was never lacking anything, and that this wasn’t about her wanting someone new. Leaving me never even crossed her mind. She said this thing that really helped me. If she actually wanted to leave me, couldn’t she just break up with me and move on, since she even has someone else? Wouldn't that be easier? Instead, she chose to fight for what she felt was right, not what everybody tells her she should do. If she’d asked everyone else, they’d tell her she was falling out of love with me and should be with Jungeun, but she knew that wasn’t what she felt and refused to accept that as her only option.”  

Chaewon opened and closed it again. Sooyoung chuckled.  

“So as you can see, nothing changed. We still have our plans to move in together after we graduate, all of that will be the same, more or less. It’s definitely not conventional, but to me it’s a very valid form of having a relationship.”  

“What about Jungeun? Was she okay with everything?”  

“As far as I know, yes. This was all discussed between the three of us, to make sure everyone was okay and comfortable with it.”  

“Can I ask you what happened between the two of you?”  

Sooyoung sighed. “The more she realized she loved Jiwoo, the worst she felt. Like, really bad. As if she was betraying me for liking my girlfriend.” Sooyoung shook her head. “So, she thought the best option was to distance herself from me. Honestly, I don’t get why she thought that was the best option, but I also don’t blame her. She really didn’t know what to do, and after that... thing that happened at the thanksgiving party, she realized her actions didn’t make much sense. It still took us some time to be back at what we were, but it doesn’t matter. It matters that we’re all good and happier than before. Jiwoo feels more fulfilled, I have Jungeun back, and Jungeun also has someone to love her now. Everybody wins!”  

Chaewon nodded.  

“Wanna ask something else or say something?” Sooyoung asked.  

“I don’t know... this is still all very new to me, I think it will take some time to get used to it. It’s like my brain can’t understand how that works, you know. And I’m sorry, I don’t want to feel like this. When I saw them kissing, I was in shock. Doesn’t it... bother you?”  

“Seeing them kissing?” Sooyoung laughed. “No. It’s just kisses. If someone dared me or Jiwoo to kiss you or Hyejoo or anyone in the group, we would do it. We don’t see any problem with that.”  

Chaewon widened her eyes and felt her face warm up, and Sooyoung waved her hands. “I’m sorry, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. It was just an example.”  

“Y-Yes, I know, I was just surprised.” Chaewon let out a nervous laugh. “But, isn’t it different? A kiss from a dare and a kiss with that kind of feeling?”  

“Isn’t the feeling there with or without kisses, or any type of physical contact?” Sooyoung smiled, and once again, Chaewon was left with no words. “If I have no interest in stopping the feeling, it doesn’t even make sense for that to bother me.” Sooyoung grabbed Chaewon’s hand, making her meet her eyes. “Everything’s great, I swear. You don’t have to worry. We hope you can be comfortable around us, when the three of us are together. If you ever feel uncomfortable or want to say or ask anything, please do.”  

She promised she would make an extra effort to understand it all, also because everyone else didn’t seem bothered at all. Hearing it all directly from Sooyoung helped. She would trust and believe them. 

---

A/N: So... yeah, I know no one was expecting this. That was the main reason I ended the previous chapter the way I did, once again, so you felt like Gowon did. Of course she wouldn't think they were in a polyamorous relationship, as didn't you guys, at least the ones that commented ahaha

Polyamorous relationships have very little representation in stories and media, unless the story is actually about that. That's why everyone automatically assumed either Jiwoo and Sooyoung broke up, or Jiwoo was cheating on her, because that's normally what happens in these situations. Also, please don't hate on Jungeun, she actually didn't do anything wrong, it was never my intention to make her the "bad guy" ahahahah

I sincerely hope everyone enjoyed the chapter and this bit of representation on different relationship formats. For me it's a very important chapter, since I wrote this based on personal experience, so I hope I managed to get through to everyone c':