Hyejoo rushed to her and squatted, her eyes bulging.  

“You’re shaking,” she said, carefully reaching for her face. “Holy ing , you’re ice cold. How long have you been here?”  

But Chaewon couldn’t bring herself to speak. She was not sure if the cold froze , or she was too struck to react.  

“Come on, let's get you inside.” Hyejoo helped her stand up, but her legs felt so heavy. Hyejoo frowned when she noticed the weight of her bag, but didn’t ask. 

They stepped inside and the warmth that was Hyejoo’s apartment made Chaewon sigh and take a deep breath. 

“I’m gonna get a towel.” Hyejoo ran to the bathroom, coming back in a second. 

She guided Chaewon to sit on the couch and kneeled in front of her, drying up her face and hair. 

Chaewon stared at her. It had only been a couple of days, but she had no idea how much she missed her.  

A tear fell from Hyejoo’s eyes, as she was still focused on drying up her hair in silence. Then, another tear, with Hyejoo’s lower lip trembling and her arms slowly losing strength, until she stopped and dropped her head to Chaewon’s lap. 

“I-I’m so sorry,” she said in muffled sobs. “I know I don’t deserve to ask this, but, p-please forgive me. I was such an idiot, stupid ing to you.” 

“Hyejoo, look at me.”  

After a sniff, Hyejoo raised her head, and Chaewon met her red eyes.  

“Yes, your words hurt me a lot. I was trying my best to help you, I put you above everything else because you’ve become the most important thing to me, and you were not honest like we promised each other to be.” 

“I know, and I’m s-so sorry-” 

“But I forgive you.”  

Hyejoo widened her eyes and choked on her own sob, more tears rolling down as she hid her face on her hands. 

“But please, please, be honest with me. If you talk openly with me, about anything at all, I will understand. So, don’t hide things from me. You have no idea how worried I was and have been all this time when I found those pills. Did you realize how much it affected you?” 

Hyejoo nodded and sniffed. “I stopped after that day, and I won’t do it again, I promise.” 

Chaewon smiled and cupped her cheeks, cleaning the tears with her thumbs. “I’m sorry for the way I talked to you.” 

“No, don’t apologize. You were right all along like you always are, and I didn’t listen to you. I know I don’t deserve you, I feel like I don’t do enough for you as you do to me, and I hate myself for that, and for being so selfish that I still want and need you so much.” 

Chaewon leaned down, because it had been way too long since she had felt her lips. And as she pulled Hyejoo into a tight hug and buried her face on her neck, Chaewon cried.  

“Why didn’t you tell me all that before?” 

Hyejoo pulled away and sat beside Chaewon, her turn now to wipe her tears. 

“I was afraid. I thought a lot about what happened, and when I finally realized the I’ve done, I also realized it was not me talking. I never meant any of that. I didn’t think I would ever be capable of saying things like that. I was so unfair to you, and thinking about how much I’ve hurt you for something so ridiculous, I just hated myself so much. I knew you were mad, and you had all the right to be mad at me, so I was afraid to even show up. I was afraid you would want to stop seeing me or see me as a coward.” 

Chaewon grabbed her hands. “We all make bad choices, you already understood what you did and that’s what matters.” 

“But I feel like I keep doing and never learning anything. I’m afraid I might do more stupid and ruin everything, and I can’t lose you, Chaewon.” 

“You won’t lose me if you let me help you. If we work on this together, everything will be okay.” 

Hyejoo engulfed Chaewon in another hug, kissing her neck as she mumbled a thank you. 

“You’re still so cold.” Hyejoo grabbed the forgotten towel and resumed her job from before. 

“My skin may be cold, but my heart is warm,” Chaewon said. 

They stared at each other, lips trembling from suppressing a laugh. 

“Way to break the ice,” Hyejoo said, making the both of them of explode in a fit of laughs. “But why were you outside in that freezing cold? And why is your bag so heavy?” 

“Yeah, about that...” Chaewon played with her hands on her lap. “Students had to leave the dorms today, and if we wanted to stay there for winter break, we had to ask for a permit. And I forgot about that. I had nowhere else to go. I-Is it okay to stay here?" 

Hyejoo widened her eyes. “I guess you’re officially living here, then,” she said, earning a slap on her arm. “But why didn’t you call me earlier? I would have come in a minute. How long have you waited outside? What if you get sick?” 

“I actually didn’t know you weren’t home. I was gathering the courage to ring the bell.” Chaewon chuckled. “If I get sick, it’s my fault for being stubborn and too proud.” 

Hyejoo shook her head and kissed Chaewon’s forehead. “Come, I’ll fill up the bathtub so you can take a hot bath to warm up.” 

“Join me,” Chaewon blurted. 

A smirk grew on Hyejoo’s lips. “Are you afraid you’re gonna drown or something?” 

Chaewon rolled her eyes and stood up. “Fine, don’t come then, I’ll take an hour long bath without you.” 

Arms s around Chaewon’s torso, as Hyejoo hugged her from behind.  

“You think I would miss a chance to see your heavenly body?” 

“Y-Yah.” Chaewon glared back.  

“Fine, I won’t go then.” Hyejoo let go of Chaewon. 

“Okay, more space for me to relax and sip wine and light candles.” Chaewon crossed her arms and kept walking towards the bathroom 

“Noooo, I take it back.” Hyejoo grabbed her arm and stumbled trying to follow behind. 

"I won’t let you in now.” 

“Yah, Park Chaewon, this is my bathroom!” 

“You said it, I’m officially living here. It’s my bathroom now.” 

“So what do I need to do to be invited back to Park Chaewon’s bath?” Hyejoo asked with a pout. 

Chaewon pretended to think, and tapped her own lips with her index finger. As she did, Hyejoo nearly flew to her to fulfill her request. 

“So this means we’re fine?” 

Chaewon smiled tiptoed to kiss her lips again. “We’re fine.” 

--- 

Chaewon could very much get used to this.  

She had lost count of the times she had slept in Hyejoo's house, but living with her was a new experience. 

Spending the day with her, cuddling on the couch watching movies or TV shows, knowing that when the night came, she wouldn't have to go back to her dorm. Then, waking up with Hyejoo hugging her like a koala, or snuggling against her neck, because she had always been a clingy sleeper. Chaewon found that adorable, but she wouldn't let her know.  

Chaewon opened her eyes, feeling Hyejoo's steady breath on her neck. She smiled and kissed her forehead, thanking Him for this Christmas gift she never asked for. 

Hyejoo moved with a low grunt, squeezing Chaewon as she stretched her limbs, before opening her eyes. 

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Chaewon pouted. 

Hyejoo shook her head and kissed her lips. "Good morning." 

"Good morning, and Merry Christmas." 

"Oh, right, it's today."  

Chaewon frowned. "You don't seem very excited about it." 

"Because I'm not." Hyejoo hid on Chaewon's neck. "I don't like Christmas." 

"Does it have anything to do with your father?" 

Hyejoo nodded. "I used to love Christmas, you know. When Mom was around. Then, there was no Christmas tree to set up, there were no gifts to put under it, there was no fun." 

"I'm sorry." Chaewon caressed her hair. "Didn't you spend it with your friends?" 

"Yes, but it still felt like something was missing." 

"I know I can't replace your mother, but I can try and bring the joy of Christmas to you again." 

Hyejoo looked up and gave her a small smile. "Thank you, Gowon. What do you suggest, then?" 

"We can go get a Christmas tree, even if it’s small. Then have lunch somewhere, watch Christmas movies in the afternoon, and, people eat turkey for Christmas here, right? We can invite them over and cook that for everyone." 

"You wanna cook a turkey?" 

"You have an oven, so, why not?" 

Hyejoo laughed and kissed her cheek. "You're so cute. Okay, if that makes you happy, let's do that." 

"I'm making this for you too." 

"But as long as you're happy, I'm happy." 

"Isn't it too early for lame?"  

Hyejoo grabbed her phone from the nightstand. "Almost ten, the perfect time to be lame." 

Chaewon chuckled. "Aside from us, who stayed?" 

"Choerry, because she still has work, Jungeun didn't feel like traveling, and Jinsol stayed for them."  

"Jinsol is so thoughtful. Call them over then, tell them to bring snacks and drinks." 

“Is that all Christmas spirit?" 

"You could say so. I feel like drinking a bit too. Tell them to bring that beer I liked." 

"Alright." Hyejoo grinned. "I like Christmas-spirit Gowon." 

Chaewon beamed. "Make sure you call your mother too. I should call Vivi unnie, it's been a while since we talked, with exams and all. I hope she's not mad." 

"I bet she's not, she'll understand. Tell her I said hi." 

--- 

The turkey was in the oven, the kitchen was a mess, but Chaewon had tons of fun cooking with Hyejoo. Meanwhile, the others watched Frozen on the TV, ruining their voices after screaming singing Let it Go, even after Chaewon's complaints that it wasn’t exactly a Christmas movie. Jinsol argued that a movie about ice and snow was fitting as it was snowing outside, and sadly, Chaewon had zero supporters. 

Chaewon outdid herself for dinner. She used to cook with her mother back home, but hadn't had many chances since she moved to Boston to practice her skills. Hyejoo insisted she would clean everything up after dinner. Chaewon's tried to stop her, but Hyejoo still managed to convince her. "Remember, I can be very persuasive." 

"Chaewon, help us set up Jenga," Jungeun called, and Hyejoo laughed, cleaning the plates. 

"Great, you brought Gowon's favorite game!"  

Chaewon shot her a glare. "When did I say it's my favorite game? I'm terrible at it." 

"Okay, let me fix it, it's my favorite game to see you play." Hyejoo winked. 

Of course, because Chaewon would throw the tower down two out of three times, making her shove all the beer down in one go. 

Seeing Hyejoo laugh and smile so bright, after knowing she had lost the joy of Christmas, made Chaewon’s heart warm. She was never one to make Christmas wishes, but this time, she wished she could spend every Christmas with Hyejoo. 

--- 

After the fun time they had, it was time for bed, but Chaewon wasn’t going to call it a day just yet. 

“Hyejoo,” Chaewon called, hands behind her back. “I have something for you.” 

Hyejoo pulled up her pajama pants and turned to her. “Did you get me a present?” 

“Y-Yes." Chaewon approached and gulped, revealing the scarf on her hands. “Everything was too expensive, so I hope you like this. I’m sorry if it’s messy, I haven’t knitted in some time.” 

But there was no answer. Hyejoo grabbed the scarf and touched it with so much care it almost looked like it was made of porcelain. 

“You made this?” Hyejoo managed to say. 

“Yes. I hope you like it and use it well on these cold days.” 

“A-Are you kidding? Like it? I love this, Gowon. Thank you so much.” She hugged her, showering her with kisses. “No one ever made something like this for me. And I’m sorry, I... Don’t have anything for you.” 

“It’s okay, I didn’t give it because I was expecting anything.” 

“But I wanna give you something. Let’s go shopping tomorrow so I can give you something you want.” 

“There’s nothing I need. It’s okay.” 

But Chaewon had to learn once and for all that it was useless to try and stop Hyejoo. It didn't matter how many times she told her she didn't need a new sweater, a new jacket, a new backpack, and a new pair of sneakers, because Hyejoo got it all for her when they went shopping the next day. 

“How am I supposed to feel when you spend all this money on me and I gave you a scarf?” 

“A handmade scarf,” Hyejoo said, moving to the cashier to buy Chaewon the newest book from a saga she had just learned she loved. “Seriously, this is nothing.” 

“Nothing? I never had so many brand things in my life! Are you sure this is okay?” 

“Yes, it's perfectly okay. This is nothing in my father's account, he won't even notice.” 

Chaewon sighed. There was nothing she could do but to accept all the gifts. 

“Thank you, Hyejoo. It's just that I’m not used to receiving so many expensive things.” 

“But is it okay if I give them to you?” 

“Just because it’s for Christmas.”  

“Works for me. Wanna go home?” 

“It’s not snowing today, we should go for a walk or something, what do you think? We’ve been spending a lot of time at home.” 

Hyejoo grinned and grabbed her hand. “Somewhere in mind?” 

“How about the river?” 

“Your wish is my command.”  

A few months before, the river reflected the sun and boats sailed from one side to the other. Now, a white layer covered all the water. It looked so different but still as beautiful as ever. 

They sat in a familiar bench. Chaewon giggled, catching Hyejoo’s attention. 

“What?” Hyejoo asked. 

“You chose this one on purpose, didn’t you?” 

Hyejoo smiled. “Yes. When we came to watch the sunrise.”  

Chaewon nodded, snaking her hand in hers. She remembered it so well, as if it had happened the day before.  

“Gowon,” she called. “Let's go to New York.” 

“Hm?” Chaewon raised her eyebrows. 

“For new year's. Let's travel to New York.” 

---

A/N: EVERYTHING'S WELL! And because I've been giving you angst lately, the next chapters about New York will be... SUPER FLUFFY! Look forward to them <3