Chaewon turned the corner and at the end of the corridor. Jungeun paced back and forth, her arms crossed on her chest. She rushed, Sooyoung and Jiwoo jolting up from the bench as she approached.  

“C-Chaewon-”  

“What happened?”  

There was silence while the girls exchanged worried looks.  

“What the  happened?!” Chaewon asked again.  

The girls widened their eyes.  

“We’re still waiting to know what happened. Hyejoo wasn’t answering any of us, we went to her apartment, there was no answer, we asked her teachers, she didn’t show up to any class yesterday or today,” Jungeun explained. “So we went back, she still wasn’t answering and we called the police. I told them she could be in danger due to her recent habits, so they broke in and... She was on the floor, unconscious.”  

Everything spun around Chaewon. She let her back hit the nearest wall, and her legs lost any strength she still had left. There were voices, a hand on her shoulder.  

“It’s my fault. It’s all my fault,” Chaewon mumbled, closing her eyes and asking for His help, wondering if she was even worthy of it anymore.  

“It doesn’t matter what happened between you two, this is not your fault,” Sooyoung said.  

“But I could have prevented this!”  

“How?” Jiwoo asked.  

Chaewon didn’t answer. If she hadn’t confronted her with the truth, this wouldn’t have happened. If she stopped being a petty girlfriend and cared about her for real, this wouldn't have happened.  

“Chaewon, couples fight. If you guys did, it was because something was bothering you and you had to take care of it. There was no way you could have known this would happen. And you couldn’t not talk fearing something like this could happen, that’s just toxic,” Jiwoo continued. “Couples who are afraid to talk their feelings out, fearing the other’s reaction, don’t work out.”  

A door opened, stealing the girls’ attention. Sooyoung and Jungeun helped Chaewon up.  

“H-How’s she?” Jungeun asked.  

“She’s awake.” The petite nurse smiled. “Seems like she doesn’t remember much.”  

“But, what happened?” Sooyoung asked, squeezing Chaewon’s hand.  

“She had been taking excessive medication for ADHD, along with alcohol and more than likely, . It points to overdose. But we are already doing what we can and she’s out of danger, all thanks to her friends having taken notice in time.” The nurse gave them a kind smile and walked back inside the room.  

“I should have told you all. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine,” Jungeun muttered, her face drained of color and fixated on the floor.  

“You knew about everything she’d been doing?!” Sooyoung uttered in shock.  

“I didn’t know it was this bad.”  

“Still, you should have--”  

“Enough!” Jiwoo yelled. “Hyejoo is on the other side of the wall, she’s probably scared and in pain, but she’s going to be okay. That is all that matters. It’s nobody’s fault.”  

Sooyoung took a deep breath and patted Jungeun’s shoulder. The latter shook her head and placed her hand on top of hers.  

At that moment, the nurse peeked from the inside.  

“Would any of you like to come in and see Hyejoo? One at a time, please.” 

--- 

Chaewon stepped inside, and the second her eyes saw Hyejoo on the bed, IV drip on her arm, she felt compelled to run to her and from her at the same time. Their eyes met for a second before Hyejoo looked away, and Chaewon knew better than to expect more than that.  

She approached, expecting Hyejoo to snap at her at any second. But Hyejoo only looked at her again, the corner of her lips somehow curling up.  

“I still prefer this over broken bones.”  

Water fogged Chaewon’s eyes.  

“Aren’t you going to scold me?” Hyejoo asked.  

“I can’t believe it,” Chaewon barely whispered, falling on her knees beside the bed and burying her face on the sheets. “How could you have done this to yourself?”  

“That’s good, go on.”  

“What did you think you were going to achieve?”  

“I don’t know, I deserved it, I guess.”  

“Hyejoo!” Chaewon smacked her arm. “It doesn’t matter what you did, no one deserved something like this!”  

“I mean, I’d already done enough , so what better way is there to deal with than doing more ?” Hyejoo chuckled.  

“Do you think it’s funny that you almost died?”  

“I couldn’t live with myself.” Hyejoo dropped her gaze. “When I stopped to really think about everything, I...” She stopped, her lower lip quivering, but she sniffed, gulped, and went on. “It’s exactly like before, but I screwed up, even more this time. I’m sorry Chaewon, you were right. I know you already gave me a second chance when I didn’t deserve it, and I don’t even deserve you, but...”  

Chaewon gulped, waiting for Hyejoo to finish her sentence. When nothing came, she forced her legs to stand up, searching for the right words to say. There was no easy way to say it, no way that wouldn’t hurt any of them.  

“I’m glad you thought about everything. I also did, and... I think we should end things here.”  

“Chaewon-”  

“I’m still really hurt. Yes, I gave you a second chance, I thought you had changed and I could trust you, but not anymore. I know you love me, but love itself doesn’t sustain a relationship. There has to be effort from both parts.”  

Hyejoo remained silent, the tears forming in the corner of her eyes visible.  

“You’re not in a position in which you want to be helped. And by trying to help and being in your life I caused a fight that made everything even worse. We’re not doing each other good, Hyejoo.”  

She knew there was no easy way to do this, but why did it have to hurt so much so see Hyejoo sobbing?  

“I know you’re upset, but you have to understand,” Chaewon pleaded, balling her fists.  

Hyejoo shook her head, with a loud, ugly sob, and Chaewon had to look away.  

“You said things would be easier if we went through it together and relied on each other!” Hyejoo cried, her voice becoming louder.  

“Together, Hyejoo. Not me alone trying to fix you.”  

“I know, and I was wrong, so please-”  

“Hyejoo!” Chaewon fought back the tears, but she couldn’t do it for much longer. “I'm not ready to fit the role of your girlfriend anymore. I need to maintain my scholarship and you need to focus on your health. We clearly can’t do both at the same time.”  

“I love you, Chaewon.” Hyejoo tried to reach for her hand, but Chaewon took another step back. She couldn’t afford to break now.  

“Please, stay well and get better. I will always keep you in my prayers.”  

“I’m sorry.” Hyejoo’s voice sounded so weak.  

They stared at each other’s eyes, until Chaewon turned, at last, reaching for the doorknob.  

“I’ll be better!” She still heard Hyejoo say, but she didn’t look back.  

Her friends jolted up from the bench the second Chaewon left the room.  

“How’s she?”  

“Are you okay?”  

Chaewon faced them. Jungeun had been crying, judging by her red eyes, and Jinsol and Choerry had joined them. She had never seen Jinsol’s face so pale before, and Choerry stood close to her, holding her hand and caressing her back.  

“Take care of her, please.”  

Before they could bombard her with more questions, Chaewon turned and walked away.  

“C-Chaewon-”  

“Leave her, she needs to be alone,” Sooyoung said.  

---  

Chaewon dropped her head back until it hit the couch and closed her eyes.  

Her roommates weren’t back from the hospital yet. Were they keeping Hyejoo company and cheering her up? How was Hyejoo feeling? Chaewon knew she did what was best for the both of them, but she felt horrible.  

Lonely.  

It had been only a couple hours, but the emptiness on her chest was unbearable. Maybe she was already feeling lonely before but didn’t notice because there was always Hyejoo. Without her, it felt like there was nobody else. She hadn’t been spending any time with her friends, she was barely there for them. Sooyoung had to hit rock bottom for her to realize something was going on.  

Maybe that was what she needed. More time with her friends. Or she should just focus on school, finish her exchange and go back to Korea. Back to her parents’ house, back to Vivi unnie and her old friends from high school, and forget her time at Harvard ever happened.  

Chaewon scoffed. How silly of her to think that would be possible, when those months had turned her life upside down.  

She didn’t remember ever feeling like that. Because she had never been through a break-up, of course. But it had to be done. Hyejoo hurt her too much and they weren’t compatible.  

But Chaewon still loved her and missed her.  

She hid her face in her hands and groaned in frustration. Before she could start crying again, she stood up and hit her cheeks a couple of times. She went to Harvard with one goal. And she was going to focus on it, no matter how hard it was. She’d worked so hard to get this opportunity, and her parents were working their hardest back at home. Making them proud and making the most out of the time she had left in the US was the best she could hope for at this point.  

But when the front door opened and her roommates stepped inside, none of that seemed to matter anymore.  

“How is she? Is she feeling better?” Chaewon ran to them, tears threatening to escape again. And the second Sooyoung and Jiwoo engulfed her in a hug, Chaewon broke down again. 

---

A/N: