“What is this?” I asked Jongin as soon as I saw him. “Are you flexing now that everything got revealed?”

                Jongin smiled at me and gestured with his hand for me to sit opposite him. I slowly followed.

                “You said you wanted to drink,” he responded. “And I want some privacy.”

                “I did say that,” I nodded.  “I just didn’t expect it to be in such a high-end place. I should have worn a blazer if I knew.”

                “Ha ha very funny,” Jongin playfully mocked me, then shoved the menu in front of me. “Order what you want, it’s on me.”

                “That’s nice,” I grinned at him, and immediately started scanning it.

                “Well, it’s actually ON the place, not me,” Jongin clarified. “I have some benefits even if I’m illegitimate, as the article so kindly stated.”

                “So it’s true then?” I asked, eventhough it obviously is. “CEO of what group exactly? Don’t worry, you can blame me if that leaks too.”

                “Hanhwa group,” Jongin answered straightaway as if he could hardly care. “And you can’t leak it even if you want to. I’m sure they’ll just pay a handsome sum.”

                I almost dropped the menu and gaped at him. Hanhwa group is one of the most powerful conglomerates in Korea, next to Samsung and Hyundai. They probably earn billions of Korean won a day.

                “Wow,” I said almost unintelligently and repeated it once more. “Hanhwa sponsors almost every film in the industry, although it’s not always publicized. I can’t believe I’m friends with a chaebol. So is your grandmother—“

                “My illegitimate grandmother, since she’s my father’s mom, yes,” Jongin explained.

                “I knew only rich people say they’re comfortable when asked about their lifestyle,” I said in disbelief, obviously referring to the small conversation we had while we’re at the farm.

                “That’s really simple for my grandma,” Jongin defended with a little smile on his face. “At least it’s away from all the business politics. But enough about me, what’s with suddenly wanting to drink?”

                “I’m just curious, not that I’m gonna ask money from you,” I frowned and Jongin’s lips twitched up in amusement. “I just think I deserve to drink that’s all.”

                “You don’t seem like you can hold your liquor,” Jongin observed.

                “I hate how you’re always right about me,” I told him. “Am I that easy to read?”

                “No, but I like observing people. I had lots of practice,” he declared.

                “I’m sure you that’s a necessary trait for chaebols,” I .

                “I’ve no intention of taking on business matters, if that’s what you mean,” Jongin let out and then he furrowed his eyebrows a bit at me. “I don’t think you should drink.”

                “Don’t act like my dad,” I scolded him. “Besides, you’re here, you can act like my babysitter. Can we order now?”

                Jongin scrunched his nose a little at my stubbornness but he still pressed a button attached to the table and ordered through the speaker. I was amazed how techy the bar is, but I didn’t want to express that anymore. This is a rich man’s place, there’s really nothing else to expect.

                After Jongin made the order by stating everything I pointed out on the menu, then topping it with his own choices, he continued our conversation.

“You’re kind of fiery today,” Jongin pointed out, probably because of how much I ordered. “Not that it matters, of course.”

                “I just feel so comfortable around you,” I lightly admitted. “And I kind of want to let out everything on my mind tonight.”

                “So I’m here to listen?” he asked, tilting his head slightly to the left. “Why not call Sehun, he’s your bestfriend.”

                Well, he’s one of the things I want to rant about. You can wear your earphones while I speak, I don’t mind,” I jokingly suggested.

                “I’d rather hear what you want to say,” Jongin smiled. He put his arms on the table and then supported his jaw with his palm. “Go on, you can start.”

                “Okay…” I said, a bit taken aback at his sudden attentiveness. Why is he so kind?

                Before I could start however, our orders arrived and filled the table. The server hardly looked at us, although he bowed once when he entered, and one more time before leaving. Again, I was more than amazed that they were so quick to deliver.

                “I could get used to this,” I told Jongin while tasting the pasta.

                “Don’t,” he said, and I couldn’t resist the laugh that came out of mouth.

                “Now I can’t discern if you’re hyper or sad,” Jongin said. “You’re showing so many moods today.”

                “I’m eccentric, I know,” I casually told him. “Stop observing me too much!”

                “It’s kind of cute,” Jongin nonchalantly blurted out while taking bites of his fries. I took a quick glance at him, but I tried not to make anything of it.

                Finally taking one shot of maekju which Jongin fixed for me, I began, “I had a phone conversation with Director Lee Chang Dong earlier.”

                “Oh,” Jongin let out but he didn’t look surprised about it. I guess he read the news about Sehun supposedly pressuring the director to give me the role. “I saw him on TV, he said it wasn’t true.”

                “Yeah,” I replied thoughtfully. “I’m even more surprised he wasn’t just saying that.”

                “What did he say?” Jongin curiously asked.

                “Well,” I recalled.

It was me who contacted the director first. Right after I heard the issue, I immediately asked my manager Boyoung if she could get me in contact with Director Lee. I felt guilty because I knew the accusation was correct. Sehun took the role with the condition that it would be me as the female lead. I guess the director really wanted to get Sehun that he succumbed to his request.

                As soon as Boyoung gave me the phone number, I sent a message asking if I could, perhaps, call him. I thought the director didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore, because it took him several minutes to get back to me. He said he’d like to talk to me as well, and the next thing I knew, my phone was ringing.

                I was surprisingly not nervous. I knew I needed to apologize.

                “I’m so sorry about this whole incident, to you and the production team,” I immediately let out, making sure the tone of my voice corresponded to my real feelings. “Sehun doesn’t usually act like this. I’m sure he merely thought it was good for my career to be offered such a good project. I’m ready to back out and I sincerely apologize for the delay this might cause on the release of the film.”

                “It is true,” the director began. “that I didn’t offer the role to you first.”

                It still hurt to hear the words come out of his mouth. I replied, “I completely understand.”

                “But it is not true that Sehun pressured me to cast you,” the director continued. Perplexed, I stayed quiet. “From the very beginning, I wanted you for the role.”

                “Director-nim, you don’t have to console my feelings—“

                “I saw you a year ago at the MBC building,” the director interrupted me. “I was invited to watch a music show, and I saw you sitting at the café alone, reading a book while waiting for your turn. I was at the beginning stages of devising the storyline then. Kang Soomin was the first character I created. I didn’t know who you are, but even then I thought you would be perfect for the role.”

                “Then I found you recently and I realized you were also an actress, in that webdrama with Kim Kai,” the director continued. “I was glad. I wanted to offer the role to you, but I backed out of the idea because of your dating scandal with Sehun. For sure, I wanted to get Sehun. There’s no better actor than him in his group age. You are a newbie. No matter how perfect you seemed to be for the role, I admit I thought if I’d have to choose, it would be best to get Sehun and just cast another female actress.”

                “I didn’t want your relationship with Sehun to become the focus of my film,” the director explained. “I want it to be successful on its own merits. But when I met with Sehun, and I told him about it, he agreed that you could do justice to the character. If Sehun is guilty about anything, it is that he helped me get you on board and he convinced me to pursue my original plan.”

                “I’m…” I began, stunned at the revelation. Did Sehun really do that? Was any of this true? “I don’t know what to say.” I let out a small chuckle of relief that I didn’t trample on anyone to get the role. “I’m very thankful for your trust in me.”

                “If you are, then don’t back out now,” the director told me firmly. “What I need you to do is be in your best condition at the script reading and prove to everyone that they are wrong. I want you to excel on your acting and bring your version of Kang Soomin in my film.”

                “I will, I—“ I mumbled, still at a lost for words. “Thank you very much director-nim.”

                “Well then, I’ll see you and Sehun at the table reading,” he said. “Bye.”

                “Wow,” Kai expressed. “That’s really something coming from an award-winning director.”

                “Yeah,” I nodded, taking another shot. I noticed Jongin isn’t doing the same. He was just focused on listening to me. “I hope his first impression lasts.”

                “It will,” he assured. “You’re a good actress. I know, from experience.”

                “Thanks,” I said, smiling genuinely at him. I really wanted to hear I’ve improved and I really did exert much effort on our webdrama. “You are, too.”

                “I’m still working on mine,” Jongin refuted.

                “I heard a lot of times Sehun is a great actor and I agree,” I told him. “Maybe you can learn from him. I really think you’d be good friends.”

                “Really,” Kai said with a weird look in his eyes as if I could not have said something more amusing.

                “Yeah, why? I mean, I’ve been struck a lot of times how similar you both are in many aspects,” I explained. “You’re both of the same age, tall, fit, good actors, kind…”

                “If that’s your only consideration, then you’re not seeing the point,” Jongin frankly told me.

                “What is the point?” I asked with my eyebrows furrowed.

                “You,” Kai stated.

                “Me?”

                “Yeah, you,” he confirmed. “Sehun won’t want to be friends with me.”

                Suddenly, I was reminded of how Sehun told me Kai isn’t good for me, but I’m not gonna tell him that. I don’t want any bad blood between my two guy friends. Before I could react however, Jongin continued. “How is he, anyway?”

                I knew he was referring to Sehun getting scammed by his own company.

                “I don’t really know,” I confessed, and then took another shot. “I tried to call him, but he didn’t answer. He just messaged me back. Said he’s fixing things. How, I have no idea. He did say he’ll get back to me once things become a little calmer.”

                “Don’t worry too much about it,” Jongin said. “I’m sure that’s why he didn’t tell you anything specifically.”

                “Yeah…”I said thoughtfully. “I just don’t want him to beat himself up for it. He has a tendency of doing that even if it’s not his fault.”

                Jongin considered my words well, while piercing me with his gaze. “How long have you been friends again?”

                “I think we just got to the seventh year,” I said.

                Jongin hummed in thought and took a shot of beer himself for the first time that night. Then he looked at me as if to assess me. For some reason, I knew what was going on in his mind.

                “I told you,” I said softly. “Sehun doesn’t see me that way.”

                “I think you’re just saying that because you don’t want to expect anything from him,” Jongin stated.

                “Maybe,” I said, my chest was already feeling hot from all the drinks I’ve had. Jongin was probably right. “But it doesn’t change the fact he isn’t inlove with me…and I just can’t compete with Junhee-sunbae.”

                “Why do you say that?” Jongin asked. A little frown graced his face.

                “Because!” I began, my tone rising a bit, and then I tried to calm myself down. “She’s beautiful, more successful, and she’s known to be nice to everyone. You should know! You said you like her. I can’t win against someone like that. I can’t even badmouth her, because it’s all true.”

                “Even if that’s the case, you know him better than anyone.”

                I laughed without real mirth in it. In fact, I suddenly felt like crying. I took another shot. Jongin looked at me as if he wanted to take the glass away from me. “Exactly.”

                “Huh?”

                “I’ve been by Sehun’s side for years,” I said, the bitterness evident now in my voice. “If he liked me even a little bit, we would have progressed by now. I can get tired of waiting, you know? I really feel hurt, too,” I said, remembering how he kissed me just a day ago but I didn’t mention that to Jongin. He might not understand. “But I also don’t want to say anything and just risk losing him. I can’t do that.”

                Jongin seemed to be at a lost for words for a while. Weirdly enough, the more the silence rang in the room, the more my eyes watered. I raised a hand to fan myself in the face.

                I let out a chuckle. “God, what’s wrong with me? And why is it so hot in here?”

                “You should stop drinking,” Jongin suggested but it sounded so commandeering.

                “I can handle it,” I argued.

                “I should have known this is a bad idea,” Jongin shook his head.

                “Why? I think it’s great,” I said, filling my glass up once more. “I’ve never really been tipsy with a friend before. All my friends are Sehun’s friends, and I definitely won’t let myself lose control in front of Sehun. I get talkative you know, when I’m drunk. I don’t want to be suddenly confessing to him.”

                “It’s fascinating that you’ve adjusted so much for Sehun,” Jongin pointed out.

                “I guess that’s what being inlove means,” I smiled at him.

                “Maybe,” Jongin replied with a thoughtful gaze at me.

                “I can’t wait for you to fall in love with someone,” I declared. “Then you’ll understand it all.”

                “Have you ever considered,” Jongin began as soon as I ended my words. “That the only reason you’re inlove with Sehun is because you’ve spent so much time with him?”

                “Well, I know that’s how it happened, how else would I have known him so much?”

                “Yeah but I mean, if you’d been more open to anyone else, you might realize you deserve to be loved as much as you love him. Sehun has dated before, right?”            

                “It’s not public knowledge, but yeah…”

                “So, Sehun has sights other than your friendship. If you try that too, I’m just saying…you could love someone more than you’ve ever love him.”

                “Like who?” I asked. I took another shot and then laughed. I crossed my arms and leaned on the table so I can look closer at Jongin. My vision was already blurring by then.

                I pointed a finger at him playfully and he stared at it. “You?’ I joked, smiling.

                Surprisingly, Jongin didn’t laugh. Instead, he copied my posture and leaned forward also so our faces are closer.

                “No problem,” Kai said as if he’s just answering a weather question. “Wanna date?”

…………………………………….

 I don’t know when I passed out if I ever did pass out. I assume I did because when I opened my eyes, I’m in an unfamiliar room and only a dim yellow light illuminated the surroundings. I heard someone calling my name repeatedly, but it sounded like it’s coming from the other end of a telephone. I shook my head a bit and realized it was Sehun. He was sitting at the edge of the bed where I was lying down. I furrowed my eyebrows because it doesn’t make any sense. I thought I must have been dreaming. Jongin was also there, but he’s just leaning against the jamb of the door. I wasn’t sure if it’s me he’s looking at or Sehun.

“Jin,” Sehun said, his voice soft. “Are you awake now?”
“Hun?” I croaked out. The taste of beer was still there in my mouth. “What are you—“

“C’mon, I’m taking you home,” he said.

He didn’t make any sense to me, but it’s Sehun after all. “Okay,” I tried to smile eventhough my eyes were fighting to stay open.