When Ji-hyun’s manager arrived at her apartment the next day, he was carrying the plastic bag of medicine. 

"This was left for you,” he said stuffing something into his pocket.

"Did it say who it was from?"

"No note." 

“Oh," She couldn’t think who might have brought medicine, and what? her favourite snacks, and a pair of socks?

At first she suspected Kang-joon because he knew she was sick. But he would have left a note. Another person slipped into her mind, her heart skipped a beat.

"Surely…" she breathed."Are you sure there was no note?"

She could tell he was pretending not to hear her. 

"Manager-nim!" she shouted but it turned into a cough.

"There wasn’t a note.” he said. "There… I think there was but only this was there."

He handed her a bit of tape with pink paper stuck to it. Ji-hyun sighed. Whoever had left her the medication had decided to stay anonymous.

When she got to set Kang-joon came over to her.

"Feeling better?" 

"Umm."

"Did you get the medication?" he asked.

“Yes," she smiled. "Thanks. How was last night? Was it fun? Did you stay late?"

"No. I left after we called you." 

"I can’t believe everyone was there."

"I know. It was fate."

“Fate?"’ she asked.

"Why not?” he said and flicked her forehead laughing at her. 

"I guess it was fate. Oh, I love the socks, I didn’t expect those."

"Socks? I didn’t leave socks."

"Oh? umm. It must have been eomma then. Manager-nim brought everything in. Also porridge from eomma. So she probably gave them." 

"That is niceOh, I need to greet sunbae,” and he walked off to greet a past costar who had a cameo in the episode they were about to shoot. 

Ji-hyun pursed her lips together. If it wasn’t him, then who left the medicine and snacks? But he had said he left medicine. It was giving her a headache.

"Put it out of your mind Nam Ji-Hyun. Focus. Fighting." and she settled into her chair to review the script they were shooting that day.

—

A week later they filmed the first kiss. The script described her taking the lead. They discussed how to do it since Kang-joon was so much taller than her. The director suggested that he bend down so that they are closer in height. But Ji-hyun had another idea. 

"Come here,” she said dragging Kang-joon over. “If we do the kiss here I can be sitting on the table and then the height will be less of an issue…”

They worked through the scene again making sure the movement flowed smoothly and that she could easily pull him in for a kiss. After a couple of takes, they checked the angles and agreed that it needed one more go. This time Kang-joon pulled her a little closer to the edge so that she had to wrap her arms around his shoulders to stay in the kiss. When the kiss ended she looked up into his eyes a little surprised by how intent he was. He adlibed a quick kiss on her forehead.

"Perfect!" the director shouted. "That is exactly what we want! Great job. That’s a wrap. Get a good night’s sleep everyone."

She went home and flopped on her sofa. A message came in from the SP group chat.

"Nam Ji-Hyun!!! We are sending a food truck. FIGHTING!!!” the PD announced.

She sent a thank you to the cast and promised to buy them a meal soon. “Please let me know when you are free!” and she added lots of hearts.

Then her phone pinged again. Assuming it must be from one of the cast she quickly picked up her phone and opened the message. It was Ji Chang-wook. Her heart stopped. She couldn’t believe it. Just the other day she’d tried to erase him from her life. She read the single line of text.

"I hope you like the food truck."

Her hands shook as she typed her response.

“I will,” and then instinctively, "Orabeoni, I hope that you are eating well.”

“I am. Take care of your health.”

“Thank you for thinking of me.”

“I am always thinking of you.”

“Same.”  

She realised what she had done and dropped her phone on the bed. They were sending a food truck the same week that the episode with the kiss would air. What would he think? Oh god.

The next day on set stylist eonnie was fixing her hair when Ji-hyun told her about the food truck.  

"What else? There is something else..."

"I… He texted me last night. Hoping I’ll like the food truck. I told him that I hoped he is eating well."

"Oh! The is great! I’m so happy."

"The kiss will be airing this week. It is… it is… I initiate the kiss. What is he going to think?"

"Don’t worry. It is a job. He knows that. You know that. All actors know that.”

But deep down Ji-hyun knew it would be different. The BTS they were planning on releasing had her changing them to sit on the table. It would look like she was excited for the kiss. And part of her had been, the sliver of her girlhood crush—the first person she had girlishly daydreamed about. And she felt comfortable with Kang-joon. He wasn’t Orabeoni of course. She realised that she was conflicted. Not about her feelings for Chang-wook but about what to do with Kang-joon’s increasingly obvious feelings for her. Did she put more space between them? Or was it a good idea to try and like him? No. That would be impossible. When she had kissed him it had felt like In-guk or any of her other costars. Nothing would ever compare to Chang-wook… Chang-wook oppa who wanted them to be friends. Who was always praised for his kisses. Who always had legions of fans loving him.

—

Ji-hyun woke up the next morning with the knowledge that a food truck would be waiting for her.  She spent her few precious moments before she had to leave for the set doing some yoga and breathing exercises. It would all be ok, she reminded herself. 

On her way to the set her phone rang.

"JI-HYUNNNIE!!! Has the truck arrived?” Choi Tae-joon asked.

“Oppa are you on leave? I’m not there yet but can’t wait… What did you get for me?"

"Not sure. I didn’t organise it. But I promise that I am the one you should thank the most since it wasn’t my idea."

"Sure oppa…"

"And you have promised us a meal. I’m free tomorrow so is Nara…"

"Oppa. Filming. I can’t"

"Are they making you film so much?”

“They want to take advantage of the weather. They want to shoot in the rain."

"When did dramas ever care about that?"

Ji-hyun laughed. It was so good to hear his bantering voice again. When she arrived on set, the food truck had been set up and her old PD-nim was there with a bouquet of pink roses. She saw him and immediately her spirits soared. She ran across the parking lot to him laughing and waving her arms. He waved back and gave her an affectionate pat on the head when she arrived next to him. 

In a reckless moment, she also sent Chang-wook a message thanking him.

“I ate well.”

“Stay healthy Jiji.”

And she didn’t even mind that he called her by her old pet name. In fact, it made her smile. It is going to be ok, she thought. It is all going to be ok.

—

When the kiss aired she realised that she was right to be worried. It looked very real and comfortable. Suddenly the dating rumours were flying around in earnest. Ji-hyun and Kang-joon had even been photographed grabbing a coffee together. The rest of the cast and crew had been strategically cropped out making it look like a date. 

Her company and his denied the rumours but they persisted. Even international fans started to take note. An article appeared with her on the list of actresses who had the most natural kisses. It made her blush as they showed a clip from “Suspicious Partner” and another from “Mi-rae Leaves”. 

"Ji-hyun. Get your head on straight,” Jin-ah quipped. "You need to remember that this is just a job."

"Aish it isn’t that! I can separate all of it. What I can’t do is watch a video of me kissing that man."

"You didn’t have to,” Min-ji eonnie pointed out

"I didn’t!’” She wailed. "But it is still there. Why am I the only one who has two video clips?"

"Because you are the best," Her friend .  "Let’s watch tonights episode at yours. We will drink beer, eat snacks and relax. Take your mind off things."

“Ok."

Watching the show with her friends was wonderful. They about her outfits on the show compared to the baggy t-shirt dress and chunky sweater she was wearing. The episode was probably the cutest so far, the first after the kiss. Her ‘aunt’ spent the time blocking the hero from entering her house by brandishing a broom. Ji-hyun regaled her friends with how Kang-joon was actually hit and that was what they have in the episode… not the careful mock hits but the real ones. Jin-ah hooted with laughter as she watched her former costar whacking the young actor about the head. Ji-hyun texted Kang-joon a picture of her and the girls re-enacting the scene. 

"You aren’t… you don’t like him do you?" Jin-ah asked.

Ji-hyun denied it all but she wasn't certain that Jin-ah was completely convinced. 

—

"The movie will be shooting soon,” her boss informed her over tea in his office.

"But my English isn’t good enough yet,” Ji-hyun reminded him. With everything else, she had almost forgotten about her part in the upcoming international spy-thriller.

"That isn’t a problem. You are going to be in the Korean portion. You don’t need to speak much English. It is a good opportunity and will be distracting from all these rumours about you dating Seo Kang-joon."

"Maybe we should ignore the rumours,” she said. 

"What?"

"Well… just leave it for now. We’ve denied it. We aren’t dating but maybe just ignore it going forward.”

"Are you sure that is what you want?"

“Yes,” Ji-hyun was firm. It seemed like the more they denied them the more force they were getting in the press.

The next day Kang-joon came up to her immediately after getting out of his van.

"I hear we should just ignore the rumours now," he looked contemplative.

"Would you prefer to deny them only for more pictures of us on “dates” to surface? It is getting out of hand.”

"It isn’t that. I just didn’t think you liked the idea."

“I don’t like the rumours. I don’t like people… I have been in this industry most of my life. And I have had a private life until now. And now people are making up stories in the press… I don’t mean anything against you but… I’m new to this.”

“Ji-hyun… I’m sorry. Please don’t get upset. And, well, I don’t mind the rumours so much. I know you don’t like me like that. But, well, I’d like to try and change your mind."

He never mentioned it again but throughout the rest of the filming that week he was extra considerate—always bringing her water or her a snack between takes. He complimented her in interviews. When she was asked about the dating rumour, he deflected and said that as celebrities they wanted to talk about the work and not their private lives. She agreed and joked that if she was in a dating rumour then she must be considered a grown woman! Everyone laughed. The rumour melted into the background.  

Ji-hyun was pleased with how things were being handled. They were becoming friends and she felt like she needed a friend. So she didn’t think anything about inviting him out for a drink on one of their off days.  She chose a little place around from her apartment which would hopefully protect them since not many people knew where she lived. But a fan noticed them and started filming. They even captured Ji-hyun calling Kang-joon Oppa and using banmal with him.  When the fan came over for an autograph and picture both politely agreed and the fan moved off but immediately posted the pictures and video of them. Ji-hyun hadn't realised how hurt she could be by malicious gossip until that moment. The backlash from his fans about lying about being in a relationship with her was vicious. Others accused them of faking a relationship for publicity. 

The next day Kang-joon sent her a message. 

"I know we aren’t dating but let’s say we are. That it was our first date and that we have been… Is that ok? I need to protect you and this is the only way I can think of.”

After a long consultation with her family and agency, they agreed to a vague hint that their friendship was closer than average costars. The production team readily agreed as the scandal had boosted ratings for the drama.

They released messages through both of their agencies.

"Nam Ji-hyun is very special to me. We became close again while filming. We have only recently started spending time together as friends rather than just costars. We hope that our fans will respect our privacy. I hope that fans will understand why we have been private and that going forward we will be able to show them good work.”

"Actress Nam Ji-hyun would like to say that she and Seo Kang-joon are friends and reconnected through their current drama. They spend time together as friends. We hope that you will respect Actress Nam Ji-hyun’s privacy as she continues to work on her drama.”

Stylist Oennie was surprised by the news and invited Ji-hyun over for tea. 

"Well… I wasn’t expecting that.”

"He did it to protect me from all the gossip. He originally wanted to say that we were dating but… I said no. We needed to tell the truth,” Ji-hyun explained.

“Ok but it reads like you are dating. Are you sure about this?"

"Yes. He understands. He… does like me. He understands that I don’t feel the same way. I like him though. He makes me laugh.”’

“And he isn’t always making mistakes that make you cry.”

"Oh. god. I just don’t know. What am I…”

"It is ok baby."

"Has… has Orabeoni said anything?"

"No. But… I think you should tell him yourself… tell him that you and Kang-joon are just friends.”

"I can’t do that. He…"

"Then don’t be surprised if he does something… stupid," the older and wiser woman warned.

—

That night Ji-hyun flicked to his instagram but he hadn’t updated. What would she do if he had? But as she was brushing her teeth, Ji-hyun refreshed her instagram and a notification popped up. It was a picture of… of a little doggy and a little kitty-- "Pretty or Ugly” was the caption. His fans were commenting and laughing about the drawing. Ji-hyun couldn’t take her eyes off the pair of animals… it was the drawing she given him when he was doing his military service. It felt like a punch in the gut. His post, the caption, the exposure of something she had made especially for him… As irrational as it might seem, she felt mocked, destroyed, all of a sudden she felt rejected again. “Let’s just be friends,” the sound of his voice as he said those words ricocheted in her head.

Ji-hyun began crying. She called stylist eonnie asking why he would do something so mean. Eonnie, though, had a different interpretation. 

"He wants you to know he still thinks about you. He still likes you."

"How is that what it means?” she begged.

"Oh, I don’t know! Talk to him yourself. Here. Ji Chang-Wook. Get on this phone right now and tell the poor girl that you are not calling her bad names."

"Uh."

Her breath sat in .

“Hi," she managed.

"Uh."

"I’ll hang up," and she stabbed at her phone to end the call. Almost immediately another call came through. This time it was his number.

"I watched the first kiss with noona because if I didn’t I would… I have to watch it with someone to remind me you are acting. But I guess you weren’t.”

He sounded tired.

"You should sleep more. I don’t think you are sleeping. Are you smoking?" She asked. Putting away her own hurt was easy when what she really cared about was him.

"Why do you care?" He asked. His tone was petulant, like a child caught skipping school.

"Ohh… Aish. I mean it, Orabeoni. I thought that the military would get you to stop smoking but it didn’t and I bet that you aren’t sleeping because you are still drinking coffee when you smoke.” It all came out. Her worry her frustration. "Jin-ah mentioned you were smoking during the kissing scenes because you didn’t care since she smokes. Isn’t that just bad manners? Also, what is with you these days? Filming with a  go-pro is dangerous. You should be taking care of your health. Your mother only has you. Urgh. Why am I worrying? You have to humiliate me on instagram with that picture. The one I drew for you. For us. I just don’t understand what you are thinking these days. Get your head on straight Kang-joon is nothing but a friend. Why isn’t anyone looking after you? Are you eating well, Orabeoni? Why aren’t you looking after yourself? Why? Why?” 

"I guess you didn’t care enough… I don’t want to have this conversation with you over the phone."

"Oppa it has been months since I last saw you!"

"It is a year.”

"What do you mean? I last saw you at the CF and before that Busan in August.”

"It is a year since the musical. A year since we were completely happy together… Jiji… Jiji, I’m so tired. I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”  

Then he hung up and her heart shattered. 

—END PART 2—