Chang-wook sighed. He was worried that he’d pushed the character of “dirty_yeppeo” too far. Ji-hyun hadn’t responded to his last message from a week ago. 

“Aish. What are you doing? Move over.” Chi-gu muttered. He had come over to watch that night’s episode of “Mi-rae Leaves”. Chang-wook scooted along the sofa to make room. Their other friends brought over the beers and chicken they’d ordered. It was a rotating system of who watched the show with him. At first they had been worried that he would get upset by the budding, if fictional, romance between Ji-hyun’s character and the handsome bodyguard but it hadn’t. The BTS revealed a comfortable working relationship, not unlike her scenes with DO. Instead what seemed to be the problem was Chang-wook’s desire to try and win her back. Every episode launched a fresh set of schemes to woo Ji-hyun—all which needed to be firmly nipped in the bud as they ranged from the extravagant to the, frankly, weird. After the minor crisis of Geobug, Chang-wook had sent cat toys and treats—this was seen as acceptable. He had then floated the idea of sending her a food truck. He had contemplated… 

“Are you… Take his phone!” Jin-ah said as she watched Chang-wook reach for it on the coffee table. “Don’t let him look at food trucks!”

“You worry too much,” her boyfriend laughed. It was their first time as part of the watch party but Chang-wook enjoyed the idea of watching the episode with them. Jin-ah was one of his reliable, if reluctant, lifelines for Ji-hyun news. Her oppa was caring, and Chang-wook enjoyed living vicariously through their relationship.

The episode proved to be their least favourite so far. Ji-hyun was forced into a double wrist grab. The assembled group agreed that it was cliche and didn't’ suit the tone of the drama. Chang-wook found himself disagreeing. The bodyguard didn’t know it was the first love, and the first love didn’t know it was the bodyguard. 

“I do it,” he pointed out. “If the girl I liked was being pulled away…”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Jin-ah snapped. “You’d punch the guy.”

“Jin-i, don’t be like that. Chang-wook is a gentleman,” her boyfriend frowned at her. “Besides, it doesn’t matter what you would do in real life. In the drama it just looks cliche.”

Once everyone had left, Chang-wook took a shower. It wasn’t to get clean before bed. The shower was just a way to waste time before checking, again, to see if Geo-geo had responded to his week-old message. Once he was tucked into bed, he took a final sip of water and then looked. To his delight she had… though not to his comment that she was pretty.

Geo-geobug: Did you enjoy the episode? 

dirty_yeppeo: I did not like the double wrist grab.

Geo-geobug: oh… it was my idea. I thought it would make sense for the bodyguard.

dirty_yeppeo: yes… but… isn’t it cliche?

Geo-geobug: romance is cliche! 

dirty_yeppeo: they didn’t hurt you?

Geo-geobug: of course not. I guess it looks real. but we rehearse beforehand.

dirty_yeppeo: tell me more?

Chang-wook held his breath. This was the most personal their conversations had ever been.

dirty_yeppeo: if you want that is…

Geo-geobug: I don’t mind. You need to make it look believable. So you need to make sure that the action suits the mood. Sometimes it means trying different things out. think about what you might do in the situation. You react… you might not think things through. but in a drama, you are telling a story. You need to take the audience with you. So I need to think about what this other person might do…

dirty_yeppeo: do you ever regret things you’ve done? That you wish you could take back? That you add to your acting?

Chang-wook forgot for a minute that he was just a fan. Instead, he was remembering a conversation they had about acting two years ago… long before “Suspicious Partner” had brought them together. Long before he had fallen in love with her.

Geo-geobug: Yes. I regret things… you?

dirty_yeppeo: I regret things. I regret being selfish with my feelings. Like when I hurt you. I told you that because I thought…

Chang-wook hastily deleted the message. He started again.

dirty_yeppeo: Yes. I was selfish because I thought I knew everything. I disappointed the people I love.

Geo-geobug: I am sure you didn’t. You are a good person.

dirty_yeppeo: I hope that you think I’m a good person. Your opinion is very important to me.

, Chang-wook thought. This was getting out of hand. He couldn’t continue this conversation. It was worse than giving her Geobug. So much worse. If she ever found out…

dirty_yeppeo: I’m sorry. I went too far. I think we should end this.

Geo-geobug: Yes… I agree. sleep well… eat something delicious.

The next morning Chang-wook found that “Geo-geobug” had blocked “dirty_yeppeo”. He deleted the account and told himself he was lucky. If Ji-hyun ever discovered that he had been communicating with her under the name of "dirty_yeppeo"... the level of betrayal would have been too much. 

What he couldn’t know, what he would never know, was that Ji-hyun had known for the last two weeks that Chang-wook was “dirty_yeppeo”. She wondered if he had been, subconsciously at least, trying to get caught. She had first suspected when “dirty_yeppeo” had sent her a photograph of a patbingsu that Chi-gu had posted the next day. And then she thought, who else would call themselves “dirty_yeppeo”? Who else would send her photographs of scenes from Bukhansan National Park? Who else would tell her she looked “too, too pretty” instead of “very, very pretty”? But it was the right thing to end it. They would only break each other’s hearts again if they got back together this way.

— March 2020 —

Ji Chang-wook straightened his tuxedo. His collar felt too tight and his shoes pinched.

“Spot fidgeting,” His friend snipped. Chang-wook looked over at the equally tux’d man. They were at a special charity event for the elite of Seoul.  Actors and actresses mingled with politicians and chaebols. Chang-wook had agreed to come as part of the “Get Chang-wook a Blind Date” initiative. The agreement was that he had to go on a single date during the airing of “Mi-rae Leaves”. Chang-wook’s condition was that he got to choose the woman, the time, the place, and he also got to back out of the whole thing if he wanted… The last part wasn’t ideal but his eomma was glad so long as it meant he was out and about meeting people again.

"What is going on over there?" he pointed to a little group gathering in one corner of the room.

"They’ve got a magician in,” the Verutum CEO said. “All showy. But the girl with him… she is the real reason everyone is crowding around. Come on let’s go. Something tells me that the night is young and some of the more interesting people will be arriving soon."

"Ji Chang-wook! Didn’t expect to see you here!” It was a drunk two-bit actor who had a knack for getting himself invited to every party. Chang-wook suspected that his invitations were because of his connections to various drug dealers. He’d never liked the man and refused to acknowledge him.

"Hey! what are you doing ignoring me like that?"

"I’m sorry I need to go and say hello…"

"Ha. You think you’re so good. Too good to talk to me? Remember I knew you when you went clubbing."

"Hey. Step back. You’re drunk,” another man stepped in. Chang-wook recognised him as a club promoter who’d managed to make a small fortune since the scandal that had rocked the k-entertainment industry. "I’m sorry. He… I’m sorry.”

Chang-wook didn’t even bother to respond. They both knew it was better that way.

As they crossed the room Chang-wook spotted a group of men standing around with glasses of champagne in their hands. A few women were lurking nearby hoping for an opportunity to break into the group.

"Ji Chang-Wook!" In-guk waved. His grin was a little more lopsided than usual indicating that he was drunk. "Come join us!" 

“I’ll catch up with you later,” the Verutum CEO said. Chang-wook nodded and walked over to the huddle of actors.

“Hello," Chang-wook gave the group a little bow. It was only when he straightened that he realised that it consisted of every single one of her past costars. He swore under his breath.

"Ah. Does that make all of us? Right? Are we missing anyone?" In-guk laughed.

"I’m not exactly sure how I count. We were kids…" Kim Soo-hyun said. He looked a little bored by the gathering. 

"Oh shut up.’ Park Hyung-Sik snapped. "You were the first one to kiss her of course you belong in the group."

Chang-wook couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He glanced at her current costar who looked so smug that Chang-wook wished he could get away with punching the younger man in the face. 

"What is going on?” Chang-wook asked.

“Well, we wanted to congratulate this lucky bastard. Nam Ji-hyun has met someone worthy of her,” Kang Ha-nuel sighed as he raised his glass. "Congratulations on the dating rumours."

"We aren’t dating. Don’t spread anything like that ok? She wouldn’t like," Kang-joon demured.

"Relax. Seriously. I’m kidding. Don’t worry,” Ha-nuel said. He looked over and Chang-wook and gave him a big wink. Chang-wook realised that he had never told Ha-nuel about the breakup. He must still think we are dating, Chang-wook thought in shock.

"Shall we take a photograph?" Do Kyung-soo asked innocently. The idol didn’t understand how much the other men would like to silence the twerp who managed to remain friends with her. The rest of them had enjoyed an acquaintanceship but nothing more. They weren’t jealous exactly but it was a point of pride for these pinnacles of Korean maleness that Ji-hyun had picked an idol—a short idol, one of them thought—over their collective pool of talent and looks. Nothing wrong with him, of course, but he couldn’t compare to any of them, several of them secretly thought. Nevertheless, they diligently lined up—a group of actors and idols that every actress in Korea would have been excited to work with once. And Ji-hyun had been with all of them, several of them more than once. For a few brief months, they had all enjoyed her brilliance and charisma. A passing waiter took the idol’s phone and snapped a picture.

"So, our lucky bastard, how is she? Where is she tonight? I thought you’d be here together?"

“Ji-hyun-ssi was supposed to come but has a cold. And there is an interview tomorrow. So I told her to rest,” Kang-joon gave them a rueful grin. But Chang-wook noticed that the younger man seemed a little embarrassed. As if the role of guardian was something he both wanted but didn’t quite feel comfortable with.

"Shouldn’t you be with her?" Park Hyung-Sik asked. He was curious as to how intimate their relationship was. "The dating scandal? Anything to that?"

"Oh, well no, we aren’t. Her mother..."

“I remember her. I always thought she was lovely,” Lee Hyun-woo interrupted.

“… is very protective of Ji-hyun-ie. But let me call her. We can all say hi," Kang-joon dialled her number and put it on video so that he could show them all off. Chang-wook wanted an excuse to escape but it would look strange. The phone connected. Ji-hyun was wearing a bulky sweatshirt and wool hat with a cat face on it. In her lap was little Geobug.

“Kang-joon oppa! What are you doing? How is the party? Oh! Hello! Who is there let me see?" She sounded a little tired but her smile was genuine. Chang-wook’s heart clenched. Kang-joon moved the phone around to capture everyone. 

“I’ve had to spend time with all your past costars! We want to say hi!"

"Ha! Aw! So good to see you. All my oppas in one place!" She waved at them. He knew that she probably couldn’t pick out his face in the group which was a blessing, he decided.

“Ji-hyun-i, how are you? Are you eating well?" In-guk asked pushing in front of the camera.

"Yes, yes," she replied mock formally.

"Ok. Get back to sleep. Take care of your body. Sleep well Ji-hyun,” Kang-joon finished off before any of the other ‘oppas’ had a chance to talk to her. Chang-wook was surprised that he didn’t go off to speak to her longer. Maybe she was sicker than she looked but then why call her? 

"Enjoy yourself, eat well oppas,” she waved back. For a minute Chang-wook thought her eyes were searching for him, but he dismissed the thought almost as quickly.

"I guess we are done?" Yeo Jin-goo asked. He was the youngest and the only one Ji-hyun wouldn’t have called oppa in person but he was happy to be included with her “oppa”s. He bowed to the hyungs he hadn’t met before. "It was nice to meet you. Have a good evening!"

The group dispersed except for Kang-joon, who placed a hand on Chang-wook’s arm. 

"Ji Chang-wook-ssi," He said. "I… I was surprised to see everyone here. I never expected that all of Ji-hyun’s costars would all be at the same event."

"Make sure that photograph doesn’t get on the internet. She wouldn’t like that,” Chang-wook snapped. He hadn’t meant to let his temper show but it felt justified when he knew that someone needed to protect her.

"I’ll speak to him … Would you mind? I know that you know Ji-hyun very well. I am trying to find the right gift for her as a co-star. You are, you were close to her…"

"Cut to the chase. You don’t need to ask me what to get her for a present."

"What are your feelings for Ji-hyun? Where do you two stand? I am not going to move on my feelings until I know where you stand with her."

Where did he stand? A knock out blow. 

"Ji-hyun-yang-i and I… I won’t stand in your way if it makes her happy. But if you ever hurt a hair on her head I will ruin you."

"I appreciate your honesty,” Kang-joon bowed deeply and left.

Chang-wook drained his glass and looked around for another. Honest? Honest would have been punching the smug little smile off of the younger man’s face. It would have been telling him that if he even touched her hand in passing Chang-wook would… But he had been honest. If Kang-joon made Ji-hyun happy then he would have to step back and let her go. He did his best to keep his anger in check. He even felt that he had managed to do that this time. But this little twinge of jealousy was hard to ignore. The last thing he wanted was to be was jealous again. Jealousy had gotten him to this point where he was having to… What? To give Seo Kang-joon-ssi actor-nim permission to date his Jiji?

“All right?" Ha-nuel appeared in front of him, another glass of champagne in his hand. 

"I’d happily punch that little if I could,” Chang-wook admitted. He explained a little bit about what had happened since the musical. How last June everything had changed.

"I could set you up on a blind date if you want?"

"It wouldn’t do any good."

"You can’t moon over her forever you know."

"I never should have told you about any of it.” 

"You didn’t need to," Ha-nuel said. "It was pretty obvious. Hell, people have been trying to pair you up for years."

"What? Fans? That is just noise.”

"Not fans! What do you think your stylist was doing when she introduced you? What reason to introduce a kid to you?" 

"I don’t know what you are talking about,” Chang-wook shifted his weight back and forth.

"Omo! Don’t tell me that little Wookie didn’t know he had a fairy godmother all these years? Daebak,” Ha-nuel was natural at both deadpan humour and extreme exaggeration and he was showing off his acting ability right now.

"Don’t make fun. I didn’t know."

"Whatever hyung. She has been pushing the two of you together since Ji-hyun came to her salon. And I know because the kid Kang-joon told me… that is why he came over here I guess… to find out if something was going on between you.”

“What?”

“Your stylist did his hair for his last drama… didn’t you know? Why do you think people are talking about a dating rumour. This is the second time she had shared a stylist with one of her costars.”

Chang-wook went for another sip of his champagne only to find that the glass was empty again. 

"I’m going home," he said. He was over the booze, over the men who had come and gone through his Ji-hyun’s life. Over the fact he had admitted defeat to ever being her man. The one who could call her and bring her medicine. Bring her medicine, the thought caught his attention.

"Ha-nuel. Ha-nuel. Ha-nuel-i. You are brilliant." 

"Of course!" Ha-nuel laughed. He was enjoying the evening now. His goofy grump of a friend suddenly was looking more alive than he had for a couple of weeks. He’d suspected that all Chang-wook needed was a wake-up call. Something to make him realise that despite the competition he was the lucky man with fairy godmothers and godfathers littered across the entertainment industry. That Top Star Ji Chang-wook had fate with the talented actress Nam Ji-hyun. That people, including himself, wanted them to end up with a happily ever after. But it was up to Chang-wook to mend the bridges and get the girl. 

--

Chang-wook made the driver stop in front of an all-night pharmacy. He was still in his tux so he threw on a too-large down jacket to conceal his outfit. He added a knit cap and thick-rimmed glasses. It was, he’d found, the best ‘disguise’ if he wanted to do anything privately.

He got back into the van with a bag stuffed with medications for colds and flus. He’d also bought several of her favourite snacks. The piece de resistance, however, was a pair of socks—he’d had to buy two pairs so that he could mix and match them. One was a kitten, the other a puppy. The next part of the plan was how to get his presents to her. He had her address and getting to the apartment complex would be fairly straight forward. But getting things up to her would be harder. Was there someone he could trust to deliver everything for him? Eventually, he caved and called their fairy godmother. 

"Can you take these things to her."

"You should take them yourself. I’m not helping you sneak around."

"Noona. I’m drunk. She is sick. I don’t want to appear in front of her like this."

"Where are you?" Noona sighed. He knew then that she was willing to help.

"Outside of her apartment complex."

"Just go in then!"

"I don’t have the passcode to get through the front door."

"5070. I’m going to sleep."

"Thank you fairy godmother-noona.”

He felt a grin spread over his face. This was it, he thought. The anticipation spurred him to start running but he then realised that would bring too much attention. Instead, he walked slowly to the gate, keyed in the code and then walked upstairs to her floor. The door opened but Chang-wook didn’t even bother to enter the corridor. He could see another man’s back putting a similar bag of medicine at the door along with a note. He waited until Kang-joon had left before stepping into the corridor. He read the note.

"Hyun-i. Rest well. Kang-joon."

Chang-wook had only a moment's hesitation before exchanging the bags—all was fair in love and war. He decided against a note in case she saw his handwriting and refused to take his offering. He was halfway down the stairs when he changed his mind. He wrote a note. And then, scared, he ripped it off.

If fate was with him, she would know it was from him. And if not… Well, he would fight against their bad fate and prove to her that they should try again. He looked back at the bag for a long time. This was his last first chance.