—August 2019—

When Ji-hyun got back to Seoul, her eomma took her straight to the jjimjilbang.

“Let all the water out,” her eomma said as she Ji-hyun’s back. She debated telling her daughter that she had spoken with Chang-wook’s eomma back in May. How the two women had discussed what they would do when their children started to date. She debated telling her Hyun-i that she had spoken with Chang-wook’s eomma over the phone this morning. How the two women had spoken about their children’s heartbreak and agreed that the best thing to do would be for fate to follow its own path. Instead she told Ji-hyun what the eommas had agreed, “Those we love the most can hurt us the most. Those who love us the most can also hurt us the most. Love makes things hard. But love is also beautiful.”

“Eomma,” Ji-hyun looked into the distance. “Eomma, I sincerely believe that he is a good man. Even after what happened. He didn’t… I just want to move forward. It is hard with him being so popular. I want to be able to come to the jjimjilbang with someone and not worry that people will take pictures of us. I want to do normal things and never fear that someone will take a picture.”

“Oh, my daughter, you are that way for now. But in the future, who can say? You have too much talent, even if your eomma says so. When the day comes that people know you and you will struggle to take the bus. My pretty daughter, you will find someone to come to the jjimjilbang with. Because he loves you he will come to the jjimjilbang even if there are people to take photographs. Understood.”

“Understood.”

Almost to prove her mother’s point, when Ji-hyun went to get drinks some fans came over and asked for her signature and a picture. 

“Eonnie, you are so pretty! Thank you for showing us you are happy. I am excited for your next project,” the girls chirped. Ji-hyun was taken aback but agreed to the pictures. “Eonnie, we won’t post these. We are your fans. We are just happy to see you being happy.”

Ji-hyun thanked them. She wasn’t sure if they would post the pictures or not but the girls were true to their word. They didn’t post the photographs and Ji-hyun went back to thinking that she was just like everyone else, except that some people knew that she worked as an actress. 

The next day the family flew to Jeju. The skies were blindingly blue and her Imo picked them up at the airport. She had a whole list of things for them to do but the first was a trip to a small restaurant on a small road near the centre of the island. It only had twenty seats. Ji-hyun and her family had to wait a bit for a table that would take all of them. Ji-hyun wandered off to look at the wildflowers that grew in sporadic clumps under the shade of a large tree.

“Chogiyo. Umm… Nam Ji-hyun-ssi actress-nim?” a young man interrupted her thoughts.

“Oh, yes.”

“Wow, it really is you. I am… I am a really big fan. Actually, I… I met you before at Sogang at the…”

“Oh, yes, Tae-hwan-ssi. Did you come to the Arts Day? With Ha-na.”

“You remember!” he said with a broad grin.

Ji-hyun laughed. It had only been June when she had met the young man who had just finished his military service. 

“Well, it is a huge surprise to see you here. Is, is there any chance I could take a picture with you?”

“Of course.”

Ji-hyun took a picture with him and then one with him and his friend. They agreed that if it was possible they might meet again at university. Then the men got into their car and left.

Ji-hyun’s Imo came over. She couldn’t contain her curiosity.

“Who was that handsome man?” she asked.

“He goes to school with me. He was in the military.”

“And he wanted to take a picture with you?”

“Imo! He probably just recognised me from something. Or he remembers me from the Arts Day.”

“Omo! Ji-hyun forgets how pretty she is. I bet that he wants to be more than a sunbae to you.”

“Ya! You two! Get over here. Our table is ready,” Ji-hyun’s appa called. She was grateful that it meant the end of her aunt’s teasing. But it started again that evening when the picture of Ji-hyun with the handsome Tae-hwan and his friend popped up on instagram. The caption was sweet, “Met actress-nim. Nam Ji-hyun-ssi has a pretty soul and appearance.”

The next morning, stylist-eonnie sent her a message. 

“Hyun-i, I don’t remember your face anymore. You take pictures with handsome strangers but don't visit your eonnie. Come see me. You need to love your hair more. I have booked you in for next week at noon.”

Ji-hyun had to admit she had been avoiding stylist-eonnie for weeks now. She didn’t want to discuss Chang-wook and knew they would need to talk about him when she finally went in. But her boss had also called. He thought it would be good for her to do something more on social media to keep the buzz alive. 

“Hyun-i. I know you will be working very hard at school. But I need to think about your future. Go post something on social media. And consider one of the CFs I sent you.”

Seeing Stylist-eonnie was fun. Except for the smallest trim they decided to let her hair grow out a little more because it would be more versatile for future jobs. Ji-hyun didn’t like making decisions base on work, especially since she knew she could wear wigs, but it made sense and she had started missing her long hair. Eonnie was so happy to see her that she insisted on taking loads of photographs and a video of Ji-hyun shaking out her hair and then turning and smiling at the camera. 

“Let’s have a cup of tea before my next client arrives.”

“Ok,” Ji-hyun followed her into the VIP waiting room. She accepted the cup of tea and braced herself for what she knew was coming. 

"Tell me," the older woman said.

"I don’t want to talk about it," she mumbled into her tea.

"Still? It has been months.”

"If I’m not studying, my friends are trying to make me go on dates. Or ask me if I am ok. I’m not ok,” Ji-hyun paused. “I saw him in Busan when I went a couple of weeks ago. It was a mess.”

“Oh, Hyun-i,” her eonnie pulled her into a tight hug. Tears started to fall from both pairs of eyes. "Ok. Stay here. I needed to see how you were but he is coming in next… I had hoped for you two to bump into each other but that was the wrong idea. I’ll come back when he leaves and fix your make up… You have time right?"

"Yes… I know you meant well."

"Always. Our little Ji-hyun is very special to me. I’ll trim his ears. Don’t worry… lots of blood but that can be cleaned up easily."

They laughed even if it made her cry again. To distract herself, Ji-hyun posted the pictures of her new hair. They were taken by eonnie for Ji-hyun to post later. But better now, she decided. In them, she stood against a white wall. In the first she looked coyly at the camera, then a poker face, and the final shot is of her laughing, clapping with joy. There. "I’m doing just fine without you oppa,” she thought. Suddenly the door opened. It was his costar.

"Oh! I am… Sorry. I haven’t been here before and went into the wrong waiting room."

"Oh. Not a problem." Then she remembered that she had been crying and there must be tracks of mascara all down her face.

"Nam Ji-hyun-ssi? Are you ok? Do you want me to go?" Won Jin-ah asked. "No, forget it. I’m staying. We need to have a chat."

"What?"

"Look. I am sincerely glad I have this opportunity. That thinks he knows everything but I’ve never met a larger child in my life.”

"I don’t want…” JI-hyun began.

"Of course you don’t. But if I have to put up with another pouting or cranky costar when he sees your next SNS update I’m going to scream."

"Is he smoking?” for some reason this thought bothered Ji-hyun. She knew that Chang-wook would smoke when he couldn’t concentrate.

"Smoking? Like a chimney. Even before our kiss. So what if I smoke occasionally. I made him brush his teeth. Look he is a mess… you know what he is like? Jealousy is not attractive."

"Jealous? I don’t…"

“You think that taking a picture with a handsome man, who called you pretty wouldn’t make him crazy with jealousy?” Jin-ah was incredulous. “Just know that whatever fight the two of you had… you need to sit down and talk through it.”

"I don’t think that is a good idea."

"I understand. But think about it. He isn’t a bad person. Just immature sometimes because he has never had to work for a girl. I don’t think you should take him back. You can do better. However, I know better than anyone that the heart isn’t very logical.”

"Don’t tell him you saw me,” Ji-hyun begged. 

"Oh. He knows you were here. Your pictures are all over Instagram right now. It is why he is currently fidgeting with his phone as if… He might call you. So be prepared for that.”

And with that she left. Ji-hyun was shaking and confused. Jealous? When she had told him so many times that her feelings would never change no matter where he was? Her heart froze when she remembered what Jin-ah-ssi had said. Might call her? Did she want that? Yes, yes she did. Even if was just to hear the sound of his voice. No, even if it was to just know that he was on the other end of the call. 

“They’ve left,” stylist-eonnie said as she slipped into the room.

"Did you tell Won Jin-ah-sshi I would be here…?"

"NO! Oh… that stupid meddling girl. Ok I’m meddling too but I didn’t think to tell her. I’m not trying to cause a scene in my salon!"

"Oh. I met her. She came into the room."

"I didn’t…"

"No it was genuine bad luck I guess… maybe good luck… I don’t know. He has been smoking.” 

—September 2019—

Because her name had soared in the rankings, Ji-hyun agreed to shoot one CF before her school work built up too much. It was for a good cause as well. One that wouldn’t make any money because all of the faces of the campaign were donating their fees.

Ji-hyun arrived at the studio and her face broke into a huge smile. There were huge pens set up full of cats, kittens, dogs, and puppies. 

“Nam Ji-hyun-ssi. Thank you so much for helping us raise awareness for pet adoption!” the eager representative for Animal Rescue Korea said. 

“Oh! I am so happy I can help.”

“Please, this way. The other celebrities will be here soon. We have decided to break it down into cats and then dogs. You have signed up for cats? Wonderful. They are my favourite as well.”

Ji-hyun knew at that moment that this was the best idea she had ever had. She walked over to the pen with all the cats and crouched down to get a better look. 

“Ji-hyun?” a voice from out of the past said.

“Kang-joon oppa!” she exclaimed from where she was crouching and then fell back onto the floor. He reached out to help her to her feet. “Are you here for the shoot as well?”

“Yes. I forgot that you loved cats so much.”

“So, so much. Do you know who else will be helping out?”

“No, but I’m glad to see you here. It has been so long. How are you doing?”

“Very well. I started classes last week but had to do this when the offer came through.”

They chatted until Kim Jae-uk arrived. Ji-hyun greeted Jae-uk warmly. She had not seen him recently and she took the time to introduce him Kang-joon. The last to arrive was AOA’s Chanmi, who was very apologetic explaining that she had been in the studio working.

“Ok! That is all of our cat lovers!” the PD shouted. “Now. The first shot will be everyone playing with the cats and kittens. Just have fun and be natural.”

After shooting in a group, they did individual shoots where they spoke about how important adoption was and that pets were to be loved for a life time, not until you got bored. As they progressed the dog lovers started to arrive. The first was Park Min-young who stood at the back watching the shoot. She was laughing as the kittens clawed their way up Jae-uk’s shirt. The actor looked adorable as he tried to read his lines without laughing but it was hard for him and he kept having to stop and start again. The next to arrive was EXO’s Chanyeol, who had a large entourage but still managed to greet everyone. Kim So Hyun was next. The last of the dog lovers was Ji Chang-wook. He slipped in quietly and greeted Park Min-young. If Ji-hyun hadn’t looked over to wave at Chanyeol whom she had met through DO, she wouldn’t have even known he was in the room.  

“Nam Ji-hyun-ssi. Over here. A big smile,” the photographer asked.

“Aish! Photographer-nim. I cannot smile! I am no good at it.”

“Then maybe look y?” the PD joked.

“Like this?”

Ji-hyun tucked herself onto the box they were using as a prop. She rested one of the kittens on her shoulder. The little creature and Ji-hyun looked into the camera. She thought about oppa and how she wanted to tuck herself into his arms the way the cat on her lap was falling asleep. 

“Omo! How?” the photographer asked.

“You look so y. How can you do that?” Chanmi asked. “Eonnie, you need to teach me!”

Ji-hyun scrunched her face and shrugged. The photographer snapped away.

“Ok. That is Ji-hyun-ssi done!” he called out. In one set of photographs, she was open and approachable, funny and young. In the second set, she was y and alluring, as if she was asking the viewer to compare her to the aloof grace of the cats she was playing with. 

“The many charms of Ji-hyun-ah,” Jae-uk laughed. “Careful. Boss will die with happiness when he sees these. You’ll get a lot of work now.”

Ji-hyun blushed but was grateful for the praise. It was important to her that people thought she was doing well when inside she felt lost the minute she knew that Chang-wook was in the studio. With the cat lovers finished the dog lovers began to move onto the set. Time was tight and so there was no opportunity to properly greet everyone so Ji-hyun had a good excuse to get away without having to speak to Chang-wook.

When she got out of the building, Jae-uk was waiting for her.

“Do you have a moment?” he asked.

“Of course Sunbae,” she replied. He indicated a small cafe and they went in. He took her drink order and they settled into the window booth. “Did you have something you wanted to talk about?”

“Yes, the boss mentioned that you wanted to try some more serious roles. He suggested that we talk after the shoot.”

“Oh, why didn’t he mention it to me?”

“He knows you want to focus on school and doesn’t want to pressure you.”

“I want to work too. But I promised myself…”

“The whole company is very proud of you.”

Ji-hyun blushed. The actors at Soop were all there because of their dedication to the craft. They were all at the top of their game and to hear that they supported her even though she wasn’t working as much as they meant a lot to her.

“I do want to do more challenging roles. I respect your work. I was amazed at everything you have done, all the different genres,” she said.

“Thank you. Now, I know about a project coming up. It will not start shooting until next year. But I think you should consider it. The part is small but… well after today. I wasn’t going to mention it until I saw what you did today.”

“Why?”

“Ji-hyun. I don’t think you realise the impact you made with your ‘y’ poses. You went from goofing around to poised in the blink of an eye,” he held up his hand when she started to speak. “You didn’t see how the men reacted. Ha. You should have seen their faces. I expect that Ji Chang-wook knows that look well…”

“Sunbae.”

“I crossed the line.”

“No, I just… it is complicated.”

“Love always is,” he gave her a rueful smile.

They continued talking about the part. When they parted, Ji-hyun realised that Jae-uk would be a very good mentor for her going forward. He acted in so many different kinds of roles and was as interested as she was in the nuances of different kinds of genres.

When she got home she saw two messages that distracted her from thoughts of challenging acting roles. One was from Min-ji eonnie inviting her to go to the noraebang next weekend. “Hyun-i! I won’t see you if I don’t see you now! Fighting for school, but come to sing with me!”

The second was from Seo Kang-joon, “Ji-Hyun-ah… it was so long since I saw you. Here is a picture of my cats for you.”

She sent hearts to both of them.

“You should get a cat soon,” Kang-joon messaged back.

“Of course!” she responded. “Soon. I will get one when I move into my own place.”

She smiled when she thought about moving out. Until that afternoon there were two things she hadn’t thought about. The first was finding an acting mentor. The second was how close it would be for her to move out of her childhood home. But now both floated in front of her and she was able to fall asleep dreaming about all the beautiful things she had to look forward to. 

—

Chang-wook woke up a week later to the CF launching across social media. The pictures of all of them, the videos, everything seemed to take the nets by storm. Not because of the cause but because four of the artists represented had all been costars. Nam Ji-hyun shared Ji Chang-wook with Park Min-Young. Then, of course, Ji-hyun with Kang-joon and Min-young with Jae-uk. 

“What the hell,” he shouted down the phone as his company called asking him to deny the dating rumour that had resurfaced between him and Park Min-young. “No. We aren’t dating.”

“Ok. No need to get angry,” his boss said. The man sounded tired. “We should have asked who else was participating. They obviously did this to stir up publicity.”

“I don’t think so. We are all well known for loving our pets. It makes sense. Just a shame,” he sighed. “I don’t have a rumour with Ji-hyun?”

“No. One reporter asked but he is a close friend. He seems to think you are dating rather than fishing for information.” 

“We aren’t.”

“Thanks, I already knew that.”

Chang-wook hung up and looked at her photos again. The one where she looked y… he remembered watching her as she transformed in front of everyone. He smiled to himself. They thought this is what she looked like when she was feeling y. But he knew better. He knew that she was iest when her eyes sparkled mischievously and the corners of her lips kicked up just a tiny bit.

“Pretty,” he whispered as he touched the photograph. Suddenly he noticed that he had liked the photograph--it had images of each of the reps but still, he had paused on hers and only hers. His heart raced but he didn’t unlike it. He needed to take control of his life, he decided. And if liking of a picture of her by mistake was going to be the start of that, so be it. He grinned.

“Jiji… I’ll show you a new side. I’ll show you someone you can be proud of.”