Begin Part 2

—July 2019—

To distract himself, Chang-wook reached out to his new costar before the first script reading. Won Jin-ah had finished promoting her new film and agreed to a drink. They met up at a cafe in Gangnam where she knew the owner and found a quiet corner where they wouldn't be disturbed. They both ordered iced Americanos. Chang-wook remarked on it, and she asked him why it was strange to like such a popular drink.

"No reason. I just know someone… Sorry I meant to do this earlier," he said. "I’ve been busy."

"Do what?” She asked. Her personality was sweet but direct. Two things he would normally associate with Ji-hyun but they were so different as well. How could the same words describe two such different women? He wondered. At least their voices weren't the same. Ji-hyun’s was light and playful, teasing, enticing. Jin-ah’s was husky and deep. Completely distinguishable and he couldn’t the more grateful.

"The thing is, this is my second roco and I know you haven’t done one before so I thought I could give some pointers."

"I think we can wait for acting tips. I appreciate this but I don’t think you wanted to talk about my acting."

"I have a reputation… for having good chemistry,” Chang-wook heard his voice trail off. He covered it with a big laugh and a self-deprecating grin.

"For chemistry? Is this about Nam Ji-hyun? Look. I don’t want to get involved with your love life. This a job. A really important job for me. And I am going to take it seriously. But you can tell your girlfriend that I won’t be getting feelings for you. I’m sorry but you aren’t my type."

"We broke up," he said and it crashed down on him: they were finished.

"Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t know." 

"Not many people do. And this is a job for me too. It is my first one back. I don’t want to mess it up. But I might… I don’t want you to think I’m being distant if you compare how I am with you and how I am… how I was with her."

"Like I said, you aren’t my type.”

--

A couple of weeks later, her first update for July popped up. Soop had released her vlog. In a masochistic fit of curiosity, he watched it. In it, she talked about her trip to Busan last year but they edited it to make it sound like she was having a meal with her staff rather than him. Her smiling, blithe retelling made it sound like just another memory. Was she really so happy? Had she felt burdened by his feelings? Then he remembered. She had told him about the vlog when they had last seen each other. This smiling Ji-hyun was from the 31st of May. Before all the misunderstandings and it would give him no idea of how she was feeling right now. 

Then Chang-wook lost his cool. As a rule, he never looked at tagged photos or videos of himself on instagram. He posted and that was it. But with the estrangement from Ji-hyun, he had become more fidgety with Instagram and one morning checked the photographs she had been tagged in. Just in case, he told himself, a friend of hers had updated. Instead, he came across a video of her sending a message to support her “100 Days My Prince” costar Kim Ki-doo. In it she called  Kim Ki-doo ‘Orabeoni’. Her pet name for him carelessly used to describe someone else. Its magic destroyed in one smiling, harmless video message. 

Chang-wook threw himself into his work. Every day he arrived early and left late. But all of his hard work was frustrated by the terrible thunderstorms that threatened to delay all of the outside shooting. The whole team was anxious and his schedule became erratic as a call would come in cancelling that day’s shoot or changing locations meaning that he needed to arrive at the sound stage instead. His nights kept getting later and later and the lack of sleep was starting to show on his face. Stylist-noona tried everything she could to persuade him to come in. He refused. Every job, he decided, would be one to smile about. He would smile and make jokes and ensure that all the staff felt at ease if it killed him. Being away from home and his eomma's care was also taking its toll. And at present, he was currently living out of a hotel in Daegu for as they shot scenes for early in the drama. 

“Let’s go out… do something fun,” Chi-gu said one night.

“We just got back from a bike ride,” Chang-wook pointed out.

“I was more thinking get to the sea. A break from all of this,” he waved his arm indicating the hotel room.

“And stay in another hotel?”

“Why not? Just a better one than this.”

“Fine. Figure something out,” Chang-wook accepted that his poor friend was probably bored out of his mind here.

“I’m going to take you golfing,” Chi-gu threatened with a smile.

—August 2019—

Meanwhile, July slipped by for Ji-hyun without a thought. She had stopped reading any news about Ji Chang-wook actor-nim and had become very good at avoiding his instagram updates. Her Eonnie remarked that she seemed better. Ji-hyun was excited enough about life that she posted a short video promoting her last vlog—not the pre-recorded on but a new one she made when she stopped by the office to talk about possible projects. She was excited about starting new work again but at the same time felt that her studies needed to take priority. All her planning, though, was a good thing. As she made plans for the future, she was better able to see how her life would take shape without her Orabeoni.

It was a perfect second day of August when Ji-hyun woke up and decided that enough was enough. She was going to wash her face, put on a pretty outfit, and show herself and her fans some love. She stretched up on her tippy-est of tippy toes and shouted out into the universe:

“STUDENT AND ACTRESS NAM JI HYUN IS EXCITED FOR AUGUST!!!” 

“Aish! Hyun-i! What is that noise?” her eomma asked knocking on the door. “Come to breakfast.”

“Hyun-i, what do you want to do for your last month before school starts?” her eonnie asked over breakfast.

“Let’s go somewhere for a picnic. Let’s go far away for a picnic. Visit Imo in Jeju. I have to start school soon and I haven’t been away all summer.”

“Oh, what a good idea from our daughter,” her Eomma said clapping her hands together. “A little family trip would be just the thing and some sun would make Ji-hyun look a little less pale.”

“Eomma!” Ji-hyun complained.

“Aish. It is true. You look… Well, you’ve looked better and I think your idea for a trip is perfect. I’ll telephone your Imo and find out when we should come.”

Ji-hyun smiled. Jeju was such a perfect plan and she encouraged her mother to find time in the middle of the month. While she watched her mother talk animatedly on the phone, Ji-hyun made another, secret plan all of her own. She would go to Busan. She would make new memories there and banish Chang-wook for good. Originally she had planned on bringing friends or eonnie but she knew that they would all want to talk about how she needed to get over Chang-wook. Instead, she was going to go on her own. She had already booked a car that she could use to camp in and made a reservation at the seafood restaurant from last year. The Imo had found it strange that someone had wanted to make a reservation but promised that a table would be ready for her when she arrived. 

Ji-hyun took her time driving down to Busan. She made two quick stops on the way to take photographs and have a bite to eat. So it was dark when she arrived at the little inlet that she had picked out for her camping trip. From there she grabbed her bag and phone and walked along the shore to the restaurant she had been thinking about on and off for the last year.  

“You can do this,” she whispered to herself. 

There were a few free tables and Ji-hyun slipped into one. 

“You called for a table? Alone? Heartbreak? Lots of people come to the sea when they have their heartbroken. You can heal best at the ocean. I’ll bring you some soju. On the house. Have a drink it will make everything feel better.”

Ji-hyun opened the bottle of soju and poured herself a glass. She was half-way through her meal when the door opened and the hum of conversations slowly stopped. 

“Oooo! Come in, come in… Here take this table. It is a good view of the ocean,” the Imo cooed. 

“Thank you.”

Ji-hyun knew that voice. So he had come here as well.  She decided just a glass wasn’t enough and tipped the bottle back and took a deep swig. She was grateful for the potted palm which protected her from the rest of the room. She smiled a little to herself. What better way to test herself than listen to his voice and realise just how little she needed him.

“Another bottle, Imo!” She called out after finishing her first. Ji-hyun began humming to herself. There was no tune, it was just a happy hum. She used her phone to take pictures of her food and sent it to her family group chat. They were a little surprised to learn that she was in Busan rather than staying with one of her university friends like she had told them that morning. But they all agreed the food looked delicious.

Ji-hyun was tapping the green glass of her third, unopened bottle when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and smiled.

“Chi-gu oppa!” she giggled. “Chi-gu oppa with a funny expression on his face… hmmmm… you look angry. I bet he ate all the eel and didn’t let you have any. hehehe.”

“Ji-hyun… are you… here, I’ll take you to your hotel,” Chi-gu said when he confirmed his worst fear. It was Ji-hyun sitting at the table behind the palm tree. He had been watching it for the last hour suspecting that the head of the mystery person was familiar. He had only been able to confirm his suspicion after he had excused himself to use the restroom. 

“What hotel? I’m camping. And I’m not going anywhere. Go away.”

“Camping? What are you talking about? Don’t drink any more. At least… you aren’t driving are you?”

“Secret.”

“Ji-hyun-ah. Please. He doesn’t know you are here…”

“What are you kicking me out? NO,” Ji-hyun objected.

“You crazy woman. I just want to look out for you. Do you want him over here?”

“He is horrible. He told me we had to be friends. Why did he do that Chi-gu? Chingu Chi-gu… Why did he say that?”

“Aish. Imo! Hey. Can you just make sure she is ok? I’ll come back in a bit.”

“What’s going on?” Chang-wook asked. He hadn’t much of an appetite and had been peeling the labels off of the bottles of alcohol that littered their table. He had glanced over his shoulder looking for Chi-gu and saw the other man talking to someone at the table behind the palm. It was starting to sound like the woman wasn’t happy about something. He had walked over and now looked around Chi-gu. Ji-hyun saw him and raised her eyebrow at him.

“The big star. Kehehelehee…Ooopps.” She hiccoughed. She started to say something but then stopped. Her surroundings crystallised. The possibility of people… the scene they would cause… Ji-hyun stood up and knocked her thighs against the tabletop. “I’ll go. Imo? Can I leave through the back? Thanks.”

Ji-hyun was perhaps the not most coordinated but she was quick. With a nimbleness of a woman who had not drunk two bottles of soju, she slipped along the wall and out through the kitchen. She started walking towards where she’d left her car when she realised that she had left her bag and phone under the table. She also hadn't paid her bill. She straightened her shoulders and marched up to the front door of the restaurant. He was still there, standing next to Chi-gu, who was on the phone. She watched Chang-wook stoop under the table and find her phone in her bag. Ji-hyun pushed the door open and walked over to the two men, who were starting to speak to each other in hushed tones. 

“I’ll take that back,” she said. She put out her hand for her phone and waited for him to hand it over.

“Ji-hyun. We need to talk,” his voice was level and insistent. He smiled at her. It was hesitant as if he wasn’t certain what his reception would be. 

“Chi-gu, could you give me my phone and bag, please. I need to pay my bill,” Ji-hyun asked without taking her eyes away from Chang-wook.

“I’ve already paid it,” Chang-wook looked around the small restaurant. There were a couple of European tourists but it was mainly locals. None of them had been interested until now and he didn’t want this to become a public event. “Imo? Is there somewhere we can talk? In private?” 

“Of course this way.”

Ji-hyun would have protested if there hadn’t been so many people. She dutifully followed the Imo up narrow stairs to a cramped office. She watched Chang-wook close the door and turn the lights on. The switch didn’t work and he had to cross over to her and turn the desk lamp on. The minute he had given them some light Ji-hyun turned away from him. Her heart felt full and tight. She was angry and sad and the riot of emotions threatened to overwhelm her. 

“Ji Chang-wook-sshi. Thank you for paying for my bill. If you tell me how much it was…”

“I promised to buy you seafood here a year ago… Won’t you let me keep my promise?”

“How dare you,” she hissed. “How dare you.”

She turned and walked right up to him. She hit his chest with her clenched fists. Ji-hyun eventually stopped when he refused to react.

“Crazy-saekkiya. I was…” she said.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I was glad to see you smiling. I watched your vlog. You did very well.”

“Nappeun-saekkiya,” she said. Her hair was longer now, just flirting with her shoulders, and she could feel it fall back from her face when she looked up at him.

Chang-wook tenderly hugged her. When she didn’t push him away, he looked down at her and wrapped his hands around her face and held her still. Then, carefully bent down and kissed her.

Ji-hyun thought about pushing him away but the soju had lowered her inhibitions. The feeling of his kiss pushed out all her anger and replaced it with a natural passion that built inside of her. She s her hands up against his chest and then into his hair. His hands came down to her waist and pulled him against him. 

“Wait…” he breathed against .

“No…”

“One minute…” and he lifted her onto the desk.

She pulled him back into the kiss and hooked her ankles around his calves. He pulled her close again. His hands were on her bare arms gently . Ji-hyun held onto his hair and until she felt the need to feel his shoulders. They were as broad and comforting as she remembered. They paused for a breath while still keeping the gentlest contact with their lips, each breathing the other’s breath.

“Jiji,” Chang-wook whispered her name.

“Wait. No. Wait.” The sound of his pet name for her snapped her back into reality. “What are we doing?”

“Jiji?” Chang-wook sounded confused. He straightened and looked down into her eyes. “Oh god. I must be crazy. I must be the craziest person in the world.” 

“Get out.”

“Jiji.”

“Get out. Did you do this on purpose? I don’t understand you at all. Just get out.”

“Jiji, let me explain.”

“You don’t need to explain anything. I must be such a joke to you. You won’t go? Fine. I’ll go,” Ji-hyun rushed to the door. She was so desperate to leave that she didn’t care if she ran. She didn’t care if her hair was a mess or if her lips made it clear that she had been kissing someone. At the foot of the stairs was her bag on a chair. Chi-gu was leaning against the wall next to it. He took one look at her and stepped forward.

“Ji-hyun… are you ok? What can I do for you?” 

“Just let me go… don’t let him follow me.”

“Ok. But, and I promise not to tell him anything, please tell me where you are sleeping.”

“I was going to camp in my car. Just for tonight. I am driving back to Seoul tomorrow morning.”

“I want to you to go to the hotel. Don’t argue. I won’t tell him but I’m booking you a room. Don’t worry about us. We are staying somewhere else. He is a bastard. I… I am sorry.”

“Thank you Chi-gu,” Ji-hyun impulsively reached out and hugged the older man. He wrapped his arms around her. 

“Hyun-i, it will be ok. Don’t hate him too much. He hates himself already.”

Ji-hyun didn’t reply. She just walked through the kitchen and across the golf course. When she arrived at reception, she had dried her tears and managed to brush her hair. The hotel manager was on the lookout for her and whisked her up into one of the suites. She gave Ji-hyun a little glance.

“Customer-nim, I will make sure to book a spa treatment tomorrow. A thank you for… being a loyal guest.”

Ji-hyun put her hands to her face.

“Do I look so…”

“You must have watched a very sad movie,” the sympathetic woman said.

“Yes. Something like that.”

Inside of the suite Ji-hyun walked over to the window and looked out over the golf course to the little bundle of lights that she assumed was the restaurant. She reached up and gently touched her lips. They were still sensitive and swollen. 

“Orabeoni…” and the tears began to fall down her face. Ji-hyun knew that Chang-wook cared about her. Even when he had said they should just be friends she knew that it was because he wanted to protect her from the media and the small sections of his fans who would not accept a dating scandal. But after that kiss she wasn’t so sure. The memory of the clubs. It was ridiculous of course and she didn’t believe any of the rumours. But the stories about him and his past costars were harder to ignore. He was a good kisser and not just with her. Ji-hyun picked up her phone and dialled her mother.

“Eomma… come pick me up… I’m in Busan. I… I saw him. Oh, Eomma… I love him. How can I love him? But when I saw him, I just knew. He isn’t a bad man. He is a wonderful man. He just made a decision… for the best. He did it for the best. It never would have worked. Eomma. I love him. I love him so, so, so much…”

—

Chang-wook paced back and forth waiting for the call from the hotel to let them know that Ji-hyun had arrived safely. Finally, he opened the door to the van and sat down drumming his fingers on the armrest.

“Why didn’t you drive her? I would have stayed here.”

“She wanted to walk. I’m not going to do… Right now you need to shut up and be grateful that I am your friend frist. Because as her… Oppa… I’m ready to punch your pretty face.”

“Kaesaekki,” Chang-wook swore at himself and punched the headrest.

“Right, where are we staying tonight? I have Ji-hyun our room,” Chi-gu sighed after hanging up from his call with the hotel manager.

“We need to find her car.”

“Damn. You stay here…”

“No, I want to walk,” Chang-wook pushed himself out of the van and headed down along the road. He had an idea of where it might be. It was such a hidden inlet but he remembered how she had pointed it out to him last year as the ideal car-camping spot. He tried the door and it was unlocked, the keys in the cup holder—Ji-hyun to a ’T’. Entirely too trusting even in this isolated spot. The car was a rental and spotless. He looked into the back seat and saw that she had put the seat down and set up a charming little camp. There was a travel lamp, blankets, a cute pillow. “I ruined this for her too. I was so jealous and I…”

Chang-wook got out of the car and walked down to the water’s edge. He had been so happy to see her. Ji-hyun’s vague and enchantingly drunken face looking up at him. A little speck of sauce by that he wanted to wipe away. Then in the office when she had called him a ‘bad bastard’, a ‘crazy bastard’. Her anger had given him hope. If she had ignored him then every hope he had would have been crushed. Her anger made him feel like a lucky bastard. She had spirit. Her smiling picture a few days before had led him to believe that she had recovered and that maybe if he was given the chance he could fix things for them. Kissing her sweet, beautiful lips was just a reaction to his heart soaring with the hope that tonight things might be their new start. But to kiss her like that was the worst possible thing to do. What must she think of him? He had no excuse for his behaviour. Suddenly he felt tears falling down his cheeks. They reached his lips and he tasted them. Chang-wook didn’t bother to wipe them away and just let himself cry. He couldn’t remember the last time he had cried. Sure, maybe for the musical, but not for himself. He couldn’t fix things now. If it hadn’t been for Chi-gu to take care of everything… to send her safely away to the hotel and ensure that the manager took good care of her… 

“I’m crazy. I’m crazy. I’m the craziest bastard that ever lived. I threw away the woman I loved because I’m crazy. I’m a coward. I was a jealous coward who didn’t know how to tell her that all I need to be happy is have her next to me. She deserves so much better than me.”

He let his head fall into his hands. When he stopped crying, he got into Ji-hyun’s car and drove it back along the track to where Chi-gu was waiting. They both got into the van and settled for the rest of the night. When they got the all-clear that Ji-hyun had checked out and collected her car, Chang-wook and Chi-gu drove up to the hotel and slipped into the suite. The manager was discrete and didn’t comment. He noted her name and made a note to send her a thank you. It wasn’t often that he asked someone to sneak his… what was she? Not his girlfriend. Not his friend.

“The woman I love,” he said to himself. Nam Ji-Hyun was the woman he loved.