Photo: https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2013/11/06/19/28/moon-206770_1280.jpg

Junho woke up, but he didn’t know why. Room was full of marble moonlight coming trough from curtains. Junho got up sitting and prevented himself about hitting his head to the ceiling. He heard Nichkhun deep and calm breathing from bottom bunk. Junho sighed, he was all perky.

Aissh, first we work all day long and when I’m tired and it’s time to sleep, I don’t fall asleep, Junho thought. He just sat and had boring time, leaning his back to the wall staring the door on the opposite wall.

Junho startled awake huge horror in his heart. He realized he had leaned towards the corner.

“Ahh”, Junho moaned trying to stretch his neck as it ached hemiplegic. He grunted and changed his position to better condition, continuing by massaging his aching neck.

I hate this kind of  dog sleep...

When Junho had rolled back and forth in his bed for a long time, he suddenly realized he had to pee. I shouldn’t have drunk that berry juice so much, Junho thought regretting. Nichkhun had picked berries from forest and made juice, which had been warmed up for evening snack.  Juice had been so soft and sweet; Nichkhun had added sugar just enough for a perfect drink.

Junho was unsure about going out alone and he thought it for a long time. They had rule not to go out alone at night, but Junho didn’t want to wake Nichkhun since they had had so harsh day. Hyung had fallen asleep in five minutes, but Junho didn’t even he had really wanted to.

But Junho had also another thing to hesitate about. He was afraid about thinking this pressuring silence he had around him. And it was dark, no matter how much light the Moon brought. In this room was warm and safe; Khun slept under him and others behind the wall. Doors were locked up well with power of Taecyeon and Chansung, but Junho still had nightmares about predators invading in and hurt or destroy them and their property. Or maybe something else as horrible as that would happen. They didn’t know all the threats they had in this world: how much there was and what kind of they were.

After long consideration Junho decided to go alone. Walking towards the danger didn’t belong his manners at all - that was Wooyoung’s thing - but empathy and hanging back belong. Junho got down from his bed and closed the door carefully after him. He went to kitchen and took a lantern from doorjamb. Junho lighted it at the porch. He looked yard opening in front him. Huge Moon shined at the sky. There was forest at the both sides of house; it was now deep thick black. Anything could look them from there, without none of the six brothers noticing. Remembering this gave Junho cold chills. The ocean opened in front of house. Brothers tend to think it was endless. 

Junho felt how his breathing became  little bit hard. He had experienced that during his whole existence, more than enough. Junho closed his eyes and made himself to breathe deeply before starting to walk towards outhouse.  Grass was ice green in the bright light of the Moon. Junho kept his eyes on it. Ocean and forests looked too scary. He walked as fast as he ever could. The armrest of lantern squeaked. When he opened outhouse’s door, he breathed out deeply from relief. He placed the lantern to windowsill under ragged rose-red curtain. It had been here when they had found this place. They had had to only repair it little bit and then wash it. There was also rag rug at the floor. Junho thought it should be washed, as all of their mats.

When sitting on a toilet Junho felt like silence became thicker. His heart started to beat faster again. He put his head to knees and tried to breath.

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale...he repeated for himself over and over again. Why lantern light was so dim? Junho swore his brothers, because no one had taken care of lanterns’ oil situation.

Why did I leave alone, I wasn’t even allowed to...What are others thinking about this? Sure they shout at me. Especially Minjun and Wooyoung. Luckily I have Taecyeon on my side...But what if he gets angry too? They all must be angry for me...

Thump!

Heart was racing, blood murmured in Junho’s head. His breathe got latched just when Junho had had it ease little bit.

Why did I leave alone, I’m sure someone’s out there! And that latch, it doesn’t help if that creature comes in...How I’ll escape? Lord please help me...Why I never follow the rules, no matter how hard I try...Always only mistakes, that’s what I do. Mistakes. Again.

Even Junho had been ready for a long time, he scared too much to leave. He felt like locked up and unsafe.

How I suppose to know if some kind of creature is now at outside? That’s why there was always two people when...And what’s this window for? Predators doesn’t come from house...Why we have no door to bath cottage, I’d be safe there. I guess.

What is that squeaking?!

Now Junho’s breathing was hard gasping, but he didn’t notice it himself. Now his heart was racing so fast he felt beating also in his neck. Breathing was even more difficult, and Junho tried to gasp for air. His hand felt numb. Blood felt waving from side to side inside his body.

Junho had his own little bubble filled with huge fear and panic. Junho swayed but got hold from toilet stair, where he sat at. Rug rag at the floor felt so soft under his feet. Junho leaned towards to wall. His head fitted just fine between the two girders. He could rest here.

Breathe... breathe...breathe...

Junho was nearly throwing up. Pressure in chest was moved to stomach and squeezed his body like too tight belt. “Aah...” Junho sighed weak. Tears burned, ready to drop. Whole outhouse thumped and hummed with a wind.

“AAH...Help me, please help me...Taecyeon...!” Junho beg tears falling down. Pressure in his chest was so hard he had to growl from pain. Tears and saliva wet his face and made neck sticky.

“PLEASE HELP ME!” Junho bawled and screamed crying.

Loud thump made him scream for fear and slitting pain in his head.    

The light of lantern got weaker and weaker, but Junho didn’t notice. He cried so hard that his face turned to terrible, agonic  grimace. “Now I’ll die...Now I’ll die!” he cried desperate. Wind whistled loud. Pain in Junho’s chest and head was so intense he felt like dying. He retched regularly. This storm was unbelievable strong.

Suddenly world blurred in Junho’s eyes. He fell forward and slammed his head to door.

Now it was all dark.