Photo: https://66.media.tumblr.com/0a49a102840fad41d9d704f9bb1db411/tumblr_mzaztwKL9i1rxm3cdo3_1280.jpg

Minjun felt himself insufficient. He hugged crying and trembling Junho tightly. They sat on the floor in bedroom. Minjun’s body hurted, but it was indifferent now.

“Everything is fine, believe me Junho. Don’t worry” Minjun continued hushing frustrated about being unable to do anything else, “I’m sure it isn’t Wooyoung.”

“As if you could know it!”, Minjun heard from his laps where Junho had buried himself. His voice was panicky. Minjun felt how his own shirt was all wet from front.

“Chansung and Taecyeon will go take a look.”

“I’m sure it’s Woo. I’m sure!” Junho sobbed, ”He can’t be alive anymore!”

“Let’s not jump on conclusion too quickly, right honey?” Minjun considerately interrupted Junho, “We just have to wait until they come back.”

Junho cried on the laps of Minjun like a little child. I should have known and anticipated this! How can I always miss his symptoms? Minjun thought, Aigoo....What should I do now...What if it really is Woo? What on earth we have to do then?

Minjun sharpened himself, raising his gaze: “Khun, how are you doing?”

“Good”, Khun replied from bed in front of them. His breathing had already got bit better but now he had squeezing headache. It was expected because his body, especially blood circulation, had been under huge pressure. Nichkhun most hated the pain coming from beating in forehead vein. Without it headache would had been easy to endure.

Just at the moment Nichkhun had gotten restful & painless position, huge penetrating sharp pain in the head got him shout.

It took couple seconds before Khun realized he didn’t shout, but Junho. Nichkhun’s ears rang, gnawing pain waved inside of his head. Junho’s shouting almost got Nichkhun to writhe.

“Junhoo...you have nothing to be afraid of, I’m here with you and boys will find this out” Minjun calmed Junho with louder voice, but it was useless. He knew well that all Junho heard now was his own frightening, terrible world inside his head. It was painful both listen and watch it, knowing nothing could help him out in the worst moments.

“It hurts! Please Junho, stop it!” Khun shouted anguished. Nothing helped, no matter how he tried to escape from shouting.

“Khun, you have to get us sedative, he’s suffering!”

“So am I!”

”You’re now the healthiest here!”

Suddenly Junho stopped to catch his breath, trembling, shirt wet from saliva and tears.

“Junho” Minjun took the change immedialy, searching Junho’s gaze, “Junho. Look at me. Listen.”

“I just can’t, I can’t...Let me go, take me somewhere I don’t feel a thing...” Junho panted before he started to cry once again, head against Minjun’s shoulder. Crying was powerful, so Minjun’s right ear locked up quite fast. Again, he couldn’t do more than try to calm, hum an hush Junho.

“Damn you Khun!” Minjun snarled angry for Khun.

“I can’t! My chest is still squeezing and my head is about to explode!” Khun exclaimed back miserable.

”You will go! You’re always so perfect, so you can save us now as well!” Minjun snapped, ”Off you go!”

Minjun sounded so angry and Junho’s crying felt extremely bad that Nichkhun had to stand up and stagger out of room. World was swaying around, chest squeezed and forehead vein bumped, so he had to work really hard for even remember to breathe. Thai was sure he’d fell down on stairs. He moved on with both hands squeezing handrail, one step at the time, legs extremely tensed. Khun felt silence in his ears, but it felt so awesome it couldn’t be described with words. After surviving from stairs Khun had to catch his breat for a moment. Just when he was about to move on, main door crashed open with huge power.  

”What the hell you’re doing there?!” Taecyeon exclaimed startled. He had been so frustrated that he hadn’t cared about how much noise he had done on their way back. Now he was very confused. Chansung finally catched him. He became as confused as Taecyeon when he saw Nichkhun on the floor. Khun had fell down because of startle. He gasped, trying to get his heartbeat steady again. Taecyeon stared him for a couple seconds until he heard Junho’s cry coming from upstairs. He didn’t hesitate even one moment when he already dashed upstairs, not paying attention to his aching ankle.

”Oh my god!” Taec exclaimed when he saw Minjun sitting at the floor holding anguished Junho on his laps, “Huyng, what on earth are you doing there, on the floor?” he asked Minjun startled, “Seriously, what is going on here?” He was now yet more confused, if possible.

“Junho got panic attack, so I simply had to go down here and force Khun to get the sedatives” Minjun explained while Chansung carried Khun back to the room. At this stage Taecyeon had already grabbed Junho from Minjun. He sat on Khun’s bed holding Junho like Junho would had been his child. Taecyeon moved to armchair giving Khun to rest in Khun’s own bed. Taecyeon petted Junho’s upper back and sobbing-bawling  Junho hold now his head on Taecyeon shoulder.  

”Wait, I’ll help you up from there”, Chansung said Minjun. Minjun had to whine from pain while Chansung rose him to his bed. “Oh god...” Minjun sighed when he felt soft bed under his body again.

“Taec, we need to re-tie your ankle bandages”, Chansung said. Bandages hanged around like open shoelaces.

“Nevermind!” Taecyeon snapped, ”Go to get all medicines we ever have!”

When maknae had gone, Taecyeon quieted down, hushing Junho. Junho’s crying started to calm down as well.

Soon Chansung got back with i.a. first-aid bag.

”Alrighty then. Painkillers for Minjun, Khun can take rest of aspirin pills, sedatives for Junho and new bandages with icebag for Taecyeon” Chansung listed, ”Would you like to have dessert?”

“Goddamn, this is like a scene from General Hospital...”Taecyeon grunted causing Minkhun’s chuckling at the background.

“I suppose Junho may doesn’t need sedatives. Maybe being close to me will calm him down enough” he said to Chansung, who nodded understanding.

“I tought the same”, he said.

After some time situation had calmed down, once again. Khun had fallen asleep.

“This bustling got him fatigued, maybe his headache was that bad” Minjun said Chansung, who sat on the side of his bed.

“No wonder. His body had been under huge pressure today. Whole body must be really aching”, Chansung said. They had made a dim light with two lanterns. At the outside was already blue moment. Day had passed quickly. Chansung glimpsed Taecho. They sat on Junho’s bed, Taecyeon leaning to wall. Nowadays Taecyeon slept above Junho, Minjun above Khun and Chansung under Wooyoung. Taecyeon’s leg was positioned straight, ankle in between of ice bag and little pillow. His ankle had swollen like a ball: brothers had decided to supervise Taecyeon being careful with it. The ankle had to heal and it wouldn’t be possible with normal strain. In normal situation Taecyeon wouldn’t have allowed to go to forest now, but now they had had no choice. Taecho seemed to be in their own world, and it was really great. Even now, life should include something else than just staying alive, for everyone.

“I’m really tired of this. Why can’t we just spend happy time even for a one day...”, Minjun sighed.

“We all are. This world is driving us crazy.”

“Hey!” Minjun remembered, “You haven’t had possibility to tell what did you see in forest.” Huyng got ready to hear the bad news.

”It wasn’t Woo”, Chansung started. He got Minjun to collapse on his back and cover his face with hands. “Oh God...Goddamn...” he huffed, being unable to think anything else than Woo being alive.

“We found deer skull. It was among culms behind carcass and sphagnum. There wasn't even slightest possible for Khun to notice it without going any further. No wonder he got scared. It was really scary place”, Chansung told.

”Man...I’ve never been so thankful to some deer”, Minjun sighed. It got bros into quiet laughter.  

”Finally everyone are asleep”, Chansung whispered at the upstairs corridor. Taecyeon continously kept glancing towards bedroom door that had stayed half closed.

“Do we really have to talk right now?” Taecyeon sizzled, “Junho’s there and my ankle is aching..”

“Ha-ha, good joke bro! You’ve acted like  nothing would’ve happen to your ankle lately” Chansung sizzled back, “Seriously, we need to talk right now. This situation starts to fall apart. What on earth is happening for us?”

“Do you remember something specific incidence from the time just before this madness started?” Taecyeon asked. He tried hard to remember something. How had the situation escalated?

”We have struggled always on this time we’ve been here, but now I think situation has become lot worse. I’m really afraid that soon someone of us is going to die for real!”

”Or mentally breaks apart eventually” Taecyeon said somberly, ”To be honest, I’ve started to be afraid of myself.

Chansung turned half-around, stood quiet for a long time not looking specifically anywhere, hands in pockets. Then he swallowed looking his bare feet. Taecyeon guessed maknae may tried to hold his tears. Taecyeon felt tears burning behind his eyes too.

“Soon we’ll may be in the situation where no one is themselves. I...this is horrific situation. It’s already happening”, Chansung said wawing shortly towards bedroom.

“What would we be able to do then?” Taecyeon asked, “World itself isn’t anything concrete - damn how I wish it’d be...Aishh..”

Taecyeon squatted, then let out heavy inhale & exhale couple times. He put his head against knees, eyes closed. Chansung also squatted, close to his brother. Now he didn’t whisper, but spoke with quiet voice.

”You’re really anxious right now.”

“And you don’t?”

“Of course I am, you don’t know how hard I hold my tears”, he patted Taecyeon’s shoulder. He hesitated a moment before he continued.

“Junho and you are in really bad condition. Especially you.”

“You’re right” Taecyeon replied, “I’m no longer that Taecyeon I used to be before. I can’t control this anymore. Junho has always been delicate, and now he sees how I’m breaking into pieces, he really fights hard with himself. I...I feel horrible when I agonise him like that.”

Taecyeon sighed really heavy, fighting hard with his tears adding: “I hardly never cried before.”

Chansung said nothing. He knew what Taecyeon meant. Taecyeon had always been delicate, but it was strongly hidden. He had cried on the stage, but that had happened only under huge affection. Here, he had the toughest nature of them all: he was the mainstay in whatever they had to go through. Chansung had never felt so horrible until now, when he saw his brother’s agony.  

”I’ve almost cried every time I have thought about Woo”, Taecyeon continued. Chansung gladly gave him to talk, because talking made him feel easier as well.

“I don’t understand how in the hell we can’t find him!” taecyeon swallowed, “And I was the guilty for all this...”

Chansung hugged Taecyeon. Taecyeon had decided not to cry. While Chansung hold Taecyeon, he remembered. He remembered that one afternoon.

FLASH!

 ”Come to help! He hit the door glasses off!”

Chansung was first on the scene. He couldn’t forget the feeling when he saw it all. Taecyeon’s fist was bleeding to his trousers, but Taec didn’t seem to care at all. Beast leaned his head and healthy arm to the wall, eyes squeezed close, teeth grinning.

“What happened?! Are you okay?” Chansung panicked squatting next to Taec.  Chansung felt how his eyes must’ve been plate sized.

“Help me” Taecyeon muddered, ”I can’t take this anymore.”

FLASH!

”You’re not alone. Remember it”, Chansung said quiet. He couldn’t say that everything would be okay soon. He wasn’t sure either anymore.

“Bro..Would you like to go to sleep?” Chansung asked gently. He gave Taecyeon time to pull himself together, using it himself as well.

“Ne.”

When Taecyeon passed the window at the bedroom, all of sudden he stopped. He went closer the window to look out.

He sweared he had seen Wooyoung running in schubbery.

Aigoo...I’m already having hallucinations. I’m a big mess.