What is your dream?

 

Chapter 2

 

“Are you excited for career council day?” Sumi asks Jennie as they enter the school grounds.

“Not really,” Jennie sighs, frowning a little, “I know what I want to be, what I’ve always wanted to be,”

“But they can help you,” Sumi insists, feeling giddy and excited.

“Yeah, but they always tell me to choose a different career,” Jennie replies, frustration coursing through her veins as she recalls their last career council day, “Telling me ‘I don’t have the grades for it’ instead of encouraging me to do better, or offering help,”

Sumi sighs, gently patting Jennie on the shoulder.

“If it helps, I think you can do anything you put your mind to,” Jennie smiles, narrowing her eyes suspiciously, waiting for Sumi to finish, “Including being a pain in my ,”

“I knew it,” Jennie chuckles as Sumi bursts out laughing. She calls out excitedly as Jennie begins chasing her down, ready to smack her in the back of the head.

“Sorry!” Sumi begs as Jennie catches her. Jennie flicks her forehead instead, giggling as Sumi rubs her red skin ruefully.

“What did you do to my girlfriend?” Sumi and Jennie spin around to see Yoongi glaring down at them, humour in his eyes.

“She called me a pain in the ,” Jennie frowns as Yoongi immediately grabs Sumi’s hand protectively.

“Well,” He pauses, considering her, “You are one,”

Jennie scoffs as Sumi giggles mischievously.

“If I am a pain in the , she is a big thorn!”

“Who’s a thorn?” Jennie groans as Namjoon joins the circle, his eyebrows raised.

“Jennie,” Sumi supplies, hiding behind Yoongi as Jennie raises her eyebrows threateningly. She folds her arms, turning away from everyone.

“Hoseok! Over here!” Jennie jumps up and down as Hoseok comes sprinting into view. Everyone greets him happily; all worries are momentarily forgotten. Even though half the group is too anxious to attend the career meeting, they all laugh and chuckle as they walk into the building, heading to their homeroom.

 

Sumi bounces up and down in her seat, excitement flowing through her like adrenaline. She has been excited about career council day since one of her teachers mentioned that the school can help her find a publisher.

Sumi wants to be an author when she leaves school. But not just any author, she wants to write famous novels that get made into TV dramas. She has wanted to be an author ever since one visited their middle school. She can’t think of anything else she wants to be.

 

The teacher enters the room, holding a piece of paper Sumi assumes holds the order for the meetings.

“Alright everyone, calm down,” The teacher calls out over the mixture of excited whispering and loud groaning. Everyone falls respectfully silent as Mr Choi takes his seat.

“Okay, I am going to write the list on the board of the order in which you will leave the room. The first three will come with me now and when the first person returns, the next person on the list will come and wait outside. Don’t forget to cross your name off the board when you return. We’re doing it like this, so you don’t fill up the halls, okay?”

“Yes!” Everyone chants, waiting for him to write the names.

 

Sumi is first, and Namjoon is second. Followed by Yoongi, Jennie and Hoseok in 5^th, 8^th, and 11^th respectively. Namjoon and Sumi stand and head out the door, along with the other student. Sumi looks back at Yoongi at the door. He continues to look at his hands, frowning deeply. Worried, Sumi leaves the room, following Namjoon.

 

 

“Alright, Bae Sumi,” Mr Choi looks up at Sumi with a small smile, “What is your dream?”

Sumi smirks. Mr Choi was the teacher who helped Sumi the most. He was the one who really solidified her dream and made her more passionate. He gave her the courage to be whatever she wants.

“An author,” Sumi replies instantly.

“What are your goals?” He asks.

“Short term, to write a book. Get my name out there,” Sumi anxiously clasps her hands in her lap before continuing, “Long term, I want to become famous enough to have my work made into a TV drama,”

“Good,” Mr Choi finishes typing this into the computer, “And what have you been doing to accomplish this?”

“Well,” Sumi shrugs, “I’ve been publishing short stories online to work on my writing style and working hard in Korean and English. I have also made sure to work well in other classes, so I have a broad understanding of the world, so my work is accurate and deep,”

“Very good,” Mr Choi nods, “And what do you plan to do when you finish school?”

“I want to immediately publish a book,” Sumi supplies, “I am almost finished with a novel I am proud of, so I wish to publish it when I finish school this year,”

“Very well,” Mr Choi pulls out a few pamphlets, “I finally found some companies who are willing to publish a novel by a student. I would recommend these companies,”

Sumi takes the pamphlets, looking through them as happiness and excitement fill her to the brim. Suddenly, she can’t take it anymore. She jumps to her feet and bows deeply.

“Thank you so much, Mr Choi! I will study well and make you proud!”

“It’s fine,” Mr Choi chuckles, indicating for her to straighten up again, “Since we have already had this conversation before, that’s all I need to ask you. Send the next person in,”

“Thank you!”

Sumi bows again before leaving the room feeling excited and level-headed as if she is on the right track. All the pieces are falling into place.

 

 

“Kim Namjoon, have a seat,” Mr Choi smiles kindly as Namjoon enters the room. Namjoon fiddles with his tie nervously, as he takes the seat. He looks at Mr Choi expectantly.

“So,” Mr Choi leans forward, “What is your dream?”

Namjoon considers this for a second. Not because he doesn’t know what his dream is, but because he knows his dream is… unrealistic, as they call it.

“Well…” He bites his lip.

“Have you not thought about it?” He asks.

“No,” Namjoon shrugs, “I just have an unusual dream,”

Mrs Choi leans back and folds his arms.

“Try me,”

Namjoon sighs. What harm could it do?

 

“Well, I want to be a famous rapper,”

Mr Choi’s eyes go wide. He sits forward and straightens his back.

“That… was unexpected,” He murmurs, typing it into the computer.

“Will my parents see that?” Namjoon asks quickly, but Mr Choi shakes his head just as quickly.

“No way,” He smiles kindly, “We give you that privacy, this is just so we can remember the ambitions of our students,”

“Good,” He mumbles before he can stop himself. Mr Choi sighs again, leaning forward and looking at him with a look that can only be described as pitiful. Namjoon can already feel the shame suffocating him. Of course, he is going to say his dream is stupid, why did he bother?

“Kim Namjoon,” Mr Choi starts, “I am going to be honest with you so you can relax. I don’t care what you want to do. Your dream is your dream. It is not my job to judge your dream. My job is to help you accomplish it, okay?”

Namjoon raises his eyebrows in surprise before nodding slowly.

“Alright,” Mr Choi nods, “I won’t lie, I was definitely surprised,”

“Why?” Namjoon interrupts.

“Well,” Mr Choi peers at his computer, “You are our top student. With these grades, you can be whatever you want. I thought someone with that much academic ambition would want to do something… academic,”

Namjoon nods relief flooding through his body. He should have known Mr Choi wouldn’t judge him. Mr Choi is known as the best teacher in the school. His students don’t turn out to be the smartest or the richest, but they are all happy.

 

“So,” Mr Choi returns to his questions, “What are your goals?”

“To become a famous rapper that raps about social and political problems. I want to influence young people, people like me,”

Mr Choi smiles and nods.

“I thought so, that makes more sense,” He types it in, “What have you been doing to accomplish this?”

“Well,” Namjoon bites his lip nervously, “I have been participating in underground rap groups,”

“That’s good, how has that been going for you?”

“I don’t really make money off it,” Namjoon chuckles nervously, “We post it online,”

“That’s fine,” Mr Choi types this in, “I would recommend trying to join an idol agency,”

“But I don’t want to be an idol,” Namjoon scoffs, “More specifically I don’t want to be labelled an idol because I’m under an agency,”

“There are many influential rap artists that reside under an agency. It’ll simply make it easier for your music to be heard,”

I never considered that before.

Namjoon frowns, taking this in. Maybe he should look into an agency?

“Well, I guess your plan for the end of school is to find an agency then?” Mr Choi asks.

“Yeah, I should do that,” Namjoon nods, feeling more relieved and excited. He has never felt more serious about his dream until now. Can he really do it?

Namjoon goes to stand up, but Mr Choi pulls out a few pamphlets.

“Before you go, I would recommend these agencies,” He smiles, “Try to avoid anything too mainstream, okay?”

Namjoon chuckles, looking down at the pamphlets.

“Sounds good,” He bows, “Thank you, Mr Choi,”

“Send the next one in, Namjoon,” Mr Choi smirks as Namjoon leaves, feeling more validated than he ever has in his life.

 

 

“Min Yoongi,” Mrs Lee smiles kindly, “Have a seat,”

Yoongi cringes inwardly. He was hoping he could talk to Mr Choi, but he is currently talking to another student. Mrs Lee is a very academically driven teacher who has always been outspoken against Mr Choi.

She has set up in the main staff room with a few other teachers for career council day. Yoongi tries to ignore the other student's voices as he waits patiently for Mrs Lee to interview him.

“Mr Min,” Mrs Lee sighs, “Not the best grades I see,”

Yoongi decides not to reply, hoping she wasn’t expecting a response.

“So,” She turns to him expectantly, “What is your dream?”

How should he respond? Should he be honest? Should he lie?

No, Yoongi promised himself this morning that he would not lie in this interview. He is going to be passionate and proud of his dream.

 

“I want to be a rapper,”

Mrs Lee gasps and clutches her chest.

“A what?” She whispers.

“I want to be a rapper,” Yoongi states firmly, “I want to be on stage, rapping about my life and social problems. I want to go to America to study,”

“If you want to address social problems,” Mrs Lee takes a deep breath, “Why don’t you become a lawyer? Or a politician? Or a police officer even?”

“No,” Yoongi replies, “I want to be a rapper,”

“Min Yoongi,” Mrs Lee sighs, “You need to have a real dream at this point in your life, not a fantasy,”

“I am not asking to be a superhero,” Yoongi frowns, barely controlling his temper, “I want to be a rapper, you know,” Yoongi mimes holding a microphone, “Those real people on real stages,”

“Yoongi!” Mrs Lee slams her hands onto the table, glaring at him, “Don’t talk to your teacher like that!”

 

Yoongi takes a deep breath and nods.

“I’m sorry Mrs Lee,”

“That’s better,” She turns to her computer, contemplating for a moment.

“I’ll… I’ll write that you wish to be a rapper,”

“Thank you,” Yoongi cuts in, making Mrs Lee’s nostrils flare.

“And that you have no academic goals,”

“I have goals,” Yoongi cuts in, “I want to influence people,”

“A wishful dream,” Mrs Lee snaps, “I will also add you have no plans for the end of the year, and you are still considering higher education,”

“Mrs Lee,” Yoongi sits forward in his chair, “Isn’t this meant to be so you can remember my ambitions, not for others to see?”

“Oh, I’ll remember alright,” Mrs Lee stands, “I don’t like how you are talking to me, so you can leave,”

“Are there no more questions?”

“I can supply them easily myself,” Mrs Lee chuckles sarcastically, “Off you go!”

 

Fuming, Yoongi storms out of the classroom, slamming the door behind him. As he reaches the classroom he takes a moment to calm himself. He can’t let that old hag affect his mood or his passion. As he takes a deep breath, he reenters the classroom, fixing a mischievous grin on his face.

I will become a rapper to spite you, in spite of you.

 

 

“Alright, Kim Jennie,” Mrs Lee takes a deep breath, “What is your dream?”

Jennie smiles as pleasantly as she can, hoping to appeal to Mrs Lee’s better nature.

“I want to become a doctor,” She says confidently.

Mrs Lee nods, impressed as she turns to look at Jennie’s grades. Her smile slips from her face, disappointment replacing it.

“Jennie,” Mrs Lee sighs, looking up at her, “If you want to become a doctor you need to double your current score,”

“D-Double?” Jennie stutters. Is she really doing that poorly?

“Yes,” She turns back to the computer, “Your biology grades are low, and you need to really work on your Korean and English grades. Your other grades are okay, but they’re not enough to make up for your other grades. If you wish to get into medical school, you need to double them,”

“Is… is that possible?”

“It is…” Mrs Lee shakes her head, “But considering how consistent you have been, I don’t think you’ll be able to make those grades,”

Jennie nods as she begins shaking. She forces the tears back into her tear ducts.

There must be another way.

 

“What if I got a tutor?” Jennie asks.

“That could work,” Mrs Lee shrugs, “I don’t see why you can’t try, but don’t get your hopes up,”

Jennie bites her lip, ignoring the stab of irritation in her chest.

“Now,” Mrs Lee turns back to the questions, “What are your goals?”

“Well, now it is to graduate with a high enough score to get into medical school,” Jennie takes a deep breath, “And hopefully become a first-year resident,”

“It’s good to dream,” Mrs Lee chuckles, “Now, we already said we’re going to study harder…”

“Yes,” Jennie closes her eyes, composing herself.

“And I assume you plan to start medical school as soon as you finish school?”

“Yes,” she whispers.

“Alright,” Mrs Lee smiles, “You may go now. I’m sure you have a lot of studying to do,”

Jennie smiles, stands, and leaves. She rushes to the girl’s toilets, barely making it in time. Tears start streaming down her face faster than they ever have before.

Why did she have to on my dream like that?

Why did she have to destroy the last bit of passion I had left?

Jennie bawls, trying not to think of her parents. They won’t be disappointed that it might be impossible for her to become a doctor.

They will be upset that she has chosen to be unhappy for an impossible dream.

Jennie wipes away her tears, anger slowly replacing her sadness.

I’ll study hard. I’ll show her. I hope she is my patient one day so I can prove her wrong.

Jennie nods to herself half-heartedly before heading back to the classroom, feeling more and more dispirited.

 

 

“Hey, Mr Choi!” Hoseok beams as he shuffles into Mr Choi’s office. Mr Choi chuckles and gestures to the seat in front of him.

“Mr Jung Hoseok,” Mr Choi sighs, “Are you ready?”

“Of course, Mr Choi,”

“Really?” Mr Choi raises his eyebrows, “You are sweating and shaking. I haven’t seen any student this nervous for a career meeting,”

The smile slowly slides from Hoseok’s face. He has indeed been ignoring his real feelings as automatically as he usually does, but apparently, these particular feelings are uncontrollable.

“Well, I am a bit nervous,” Hoseok admits, dabbing his forehead with his sleeve.

“Why?” Mr Choi asks kindly.

“I don’t think I can answer your questions,”

“That’s okay, just say the first thing that comes to your mind,” Mr Choi turns to the computer.

“Alright,” Hoseok murmurs.

“What is your dream?”

 

Noise.

That is all that comes to mind.

Jung Hoseok can’t think of anything. He doesn’t have a hobby he wishes to turn into a career or a personality trait that’ll suit a career he would enjoy. He simply doesn’t have anything he wants to do.

He just simply…

Exists.

 

“I don’t know, sir,” Hoseok mumbles.

“What do you enjoy?” Mr Choi asks.

“I don’t know, simple things. Eating, hanging out with my friends, reading manga,”

“Eating? What about becoming a food tester?”

“I have a lot of allergies…”

Hoseok sighs. He has already answered all these questions from his parents. He can’t write manga because he can’t draw and isn’t very imaginative. He can’t cook, he can’t wrap his head around any complicated math so education involving science and math is out of the question. He likes dancing but he can’t imagine doing it for a living, it would be too exhausting.

He has already answered these questions.

 

“It’s okay, Mr Choi,” Hoseok smiles sadly, “I’ve answered these questions before,”

Mr Choi frowns, staring at Hoseok in a critical way like he longs to jump into Hoseok’s head and sort it out for him.

“I see,” He turns to his computer and types for a moment. Hoseok begins worrying about what he’s writing when he looks up at him, smiling serenely.

“So, I have put on here that you are seeking opportunities to pick a career. Your goal is to find your dream and you are going to accomplish this by trying as many things as you can, okay?”

Hoseok nods, smiling a little.

“Alright, sir,”

“Good,” He turns back to his computer, “Send the next student in,”

Hoseok bows, leaving the room feeling relieved but a little disappointed. He was hoping Mr Choi would be able to tell him his dream, as he is sick of trying to figure out what he likes.

Plastering his cheeky grin to his face, he rushes back into the classroom, seeking his friends immediately.

As long as I am with them, nothing can worry me.

 

 

Where is your dream?