Chapter 4

A lover and a fighter.

Quarrelling, fighting, loving.

Standing there, one holding the handle, the other staring down the barrel of the gun.

Push and shove, two ends of the spectrum.

Will they be able to love each other and hold onto each other?

Until death do us part, a phrase has never been so literal.

Why must blood soak his hands to keep him happy?

Why must destroying his livelihood be her goal?

Romeo and Juliet? They will never consider it.

Fighting for life, and stepping down from love.

Why must things be this way?

Sumi smiles to herself as she reads through her work. She woke to find herself full of ideas and inspiration and she just had to write it down now before she forgot it.

Why she has thought of this now, she has no idea.  

She knows a lot of her inspiration comes from her subconscious understanding and interpreting her experiences. Could this be how she pictures her relationship with Yoongi?

“Of course not,” Sumi shakes her head to clear it. Her relationship with Yoongi is amazing, beyond perfect. They don’t enjoy similar things, but they think alike. They have already agreed on how many children they’d have in the future, their wedding location, and how they would live if they lived together.

Even with all these in mind, Sumi frowns. Recently, something seems to be bugging her about their relationship. Yoongi has become a little distant and unsure about so many things.

Jennie.

Sumi smiles to herself as she opens her phone. Whenever Sumi has relationship worries, she always calls Jennie. Generally, they both get something out of a good self-help chat session. Sumi helps Jennie with her concerns, and Jennie gives really good advice.

SUMI: Morning Jennie!

JENNIE: Hey, what’s up?

SUMI: You know, we haven’t hung out in a while…

JENNIE: Are you worried about something?

SUMI: How did you know? 😊

JENNIE: You only message me about one-on-one time when you’re overthinking something.

SUMI: That’s not true!

JENNIE: Well, it’s not 100% of the time, but about 80% of the time.

SUMI: That’s fair. Want to meet up somewhere or do you want to come here?

JENNIE: Just come to my house. My parents are out so we’ll have the lounge room to ourselves.

SUMI: I’ve always wanted to watch a movie on your huge TV! Want me to bring popcorn?

JENNIE: Just bring some sweets, I’ve already got popcorn and hot chocolate.

SUMI: You’re amazing, you know that right?

JENNIE: Yeah, yeah, I know :P Are you going to come now?

SUMI: I’ll get dressed and head over. Give me an hour.

JENNIE: Nice, see you soon.

Sumi stands and begins getting ready. As soon as she is showered and dressed, she heads out the door, a little skip in her step.

She pulls out her phone and plugs in her earphones. Skimming through her music, she finds her favourite song. Yoongi said this song reminds him of her, so now it’s her favourite. She presses play and puts it on repeat, smiling serenely as she makes her way down the small street that leads to the convenience store.

Knock, knock.

Sumi hears a little pitter-patter as Jennie comes rushing to the door. Sumi is engulfed by hair as the door swings open and Jennie jumps into her arms.

“Are you ready?” Jennie grins.

“Yes,” Sumi beams as Jennie pulls her inside and straight into the lounge room. Sumi jumps onto the comfy couch as Jennie slides beside her.

“I’ve got a few choices, but I haven’t seen ‘Train to Busan’ yet,” Jennie turns on the TV, switching to Netflix.

“Alright, Train to Busan after a chat,” Sumi purses her lips as Jennie sadly places the TV remote on the table.

“What is it you want to talk about?” Jennie crosses her legs and folds her arms, a serious expression on her face.

“Well, I’m worried about Yoongi,”

“Of course you are, what happened?” Jennie sighs as she takes a sip of her drink.

“Well, he’s become really distant. He has his future planned out, and everything seems to be going well. I don’t know what could be wrong this time,”

Jennie ponders this for a second, slurping on her drink.

“Well,” She starts, putting her drink on the table, “Maybe it isn’t going well. Hoseok didn’t have a good career meeting, maybe Yoongi had something similar,”

“What happened to Hoseok?”

Jennie rolls her eyes, smirking slightly.

“Honestly, do you message anyone besides me and Yoongi?”

Sumi shrugs, shuffling in her seat.

“You’re right, I don’t talk to the other guys very often,” Sumi gives Jennie a piercing look, “What happened to Hoseok?”

“He doesn’t have a dream,” Jennie says simply. Sumi considers this, frowning as confusion washes over her.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, exactly that,” Jennie shrugs, “He doesn’t know what he wants to be when he leaves school,”

“Really?” Sumi frowns and shakes her head, “But Yoongi knows what he wants to do with his life,”

“I don’t mean Yoongi is in the same boat,” Jennie looks off into the distance, “We’re all in different boats travelling in different directions,”

Sumi smacks Jennie’s leg playfully.

“Stop being dramatic,” She smirks, “What do you mean then?”

“Yoongi might have had a bad experience with his career interview. I heard he got Mrs Lee as his councillor,”

“Mrs Lee?!” Sumi gasps, “No wonder he’s being so distant. She would have all over his dream of being a rapper,”

“I know right, it’s obvious she had an effect on him,” Jennie shuffles on the chair so she’s leaning closer to Sumi, “But that’s not all,”

“What else is there?” Sumi asks.

“I heard from Namjoon that he’s planning on going to America for a few years when he finishes school,”

What?

Sumi stares at Jennie, shocked. How is it that Jennie knows this, but Sumi – Yoongi’s girlfriend – doesn’t know anything about it?

“He wants to go to America?” Sumi mumbles, shell-shocked, “For a few years?”

“That’s what Namjoon said,” Jennie bites her lip, “He also said that I shouldn’t tell you because Yoongi wants to find a way to tell you,”

Sumi folds her arms, thinking. Is this why he’s become so distant? Is he really worried their relationship won’t survive the distance?

Or does he want her to follow him there?

No, don’t think like that.

Yoongi knows better than anyone that Sumi needs to stay in Korea to succeed in her dream.

“I see,” Sumi mumbles tonelessly, unsure what to feel.

“Let’s start this movie, okay?” Jennie smiles kindly, clicking on ‘Train to Busan’, “I’ll go put on that popcorn,”

Sumi smiles as Jennie leaves the room, leaving Sumi to her thoughts.

What is he unsure about? Is he trying to think of a way to break up? Does he think they’ll survive long distance? Sumi thinks about how often she gets jealous and knows, without even considering it, that they can’t do long distance.

But what should they do?

Is their relationship really that complicated? Is it toxic?

When Jennie returns, Sumi looks like she’s about to cry.

“Sumi,” Jennie sighs as she places the bowl down and pulls her in for a hug, sitting beside her, “Don’t think about it too much,”

“I’m trying,” Sumi sobs as a tear escapes her swollen eyes.

“Just talk to him about it, okay?”

Sumi nods. They hold each other for a moment, before Sumi pulls away, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. Jennie places her hands on Sumi’s cheeks, smiling.

“Train to Busan?”

Sumi nods as Jennie lets her go before pressing play on the movie. She snuggles up next to Sumi, providing the support and warmth Sumi needs.

As she always has.

“That was fun,” Jennie giggles, “I hope they make another one!”

“Yeah, it was awesome,” Sumi smiles half-heartedly as they make their way to Jennie’s front door. Sumi turns to Jennie as she steps through the doorway.

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow,” She smiles before turning away.

“Wait,” Jennie grabs Sumi’s arm, stopping her, “It’ll be okay, just talk to him, okay?”

“Yeah,” Sumi’s lips lift into an attempted smile, “Bye,”

“Bye,”

Jennie lets Sumi go and she leaves, walking slowly.

She considers calling Yoongi to talk to him but decides against it.

She plugs her earphones in, opening her phone to play her favourite song. She pauses, looking down at her lock screen – Yoongi.

She pushes her thoughts aside as she skims through her music, finding a different song. She lands on a more upbeat song. She presses play, letting the beat consume her.