“Hey, why are you still here? Waiting for your girlfriend to pick you up?”

It’s 10 at night and SinB has just finished designing the artworks requested by her client, and when she arrives at the lobby area, she sees Sojung sitting at the sofa, so she thought of saying hi to her. Sojung is actually one of the senior manager in the company they both are working at but since they know each other for a very long time before SinB started working there, their relationship is more like a friend instead of a senior junior one in the company. That’s why SinB feels comfortable to randomly greets Sojung out of nowhere.

“Hey SinB. Yeah, Yerin promise to pick me up tonight when I told her I’ll be staying late at work. But she didn’t pick up my call and she’s supposed to be here since 30 minutes ago” Sojung keeps on looking at her phone hoping that Yerin would at least send her a text just to assure Sojung that the latter is okay and will arrive anytime soon.

“It’s late already Sojung. Come. I’ll send you home. You can leave a message to Yerin and tell her about it” SinB offers to send Sojung to her apartment since they both are heading to the same directions anyway with SinB’s apartment only a few blocks away from Sojung.

“I will only agree if we both are either taking the bus or walk back home. But if you’re going to drive me home with your motorbike, I’d rather wait for Yerin or I’ll take the bus by myself” Sojung had once rode on SinB’s motorbike and she promised herself not to ride it with SinB ever again. The latter loves speeding and taking unexpected turn at times just for the thrill and Sojung doesn’t enjoy any of them at all.

Upon hearing Sojung’s terms, SinB let out a chuckle before assuring Sojung that the latter isn’t an option at all. 

“I guess today is your lucky day then. My motorbike is in the repair shop since last week, so I would either rode my bicycle or walk to the office, and today, it’s the latter. Now that you’ve got your assurance, shall we? Plus, it has been a while since I’ve walk you home. I’m missing the old us back in our university’s days” SinB put out her hand, waiting for Sojung to reach it, while giving the latter a reassuring smile.

It takes Sojung a while, but she then decides to accept SinB’s offer. So, she sends a text to Yerin telling the latter that she’ll be walking home with SinB, after she hits that send button and keeps her phone in her handbag, Sojung reach out to SinB’s hand, letting their fingers to intertwine with each other firmly. The thing they always did back then at their university whenever they walked together, the thing they did as nothing more than just a close friend.

The night is pretty chilled and windy in a sudden. Not preparing herself to walk back home that night because she thought Yerin would come and pick her up, Sojung didn’t even bother to bring her windbreaker or her long coat with her to work. SinB who notices that Sojung has been rubbing her hands against each other and slaps them onto her cheeks to warm herself up, suddenly pulled Sojung closer to her and bury the latter in her oversized coat that is just at the right size to cover the both of them

“There you go. Feel warmer?” SinB blatantly ask, not realizing that Sojung’s cheeks are already burning red since SinB couldn’t bring herself to take a peek to Sojung what even landing her eyes to the latter. Because herself, are covered with a hue deep of pink red as well.

“Better. Sorry for the trouble” Sojung answers shyly “Thank you” She says almost whispers.

“This is so like us back in the days, huh?” SinB intertwine their hands again

“And how many years have that been?” Sojung takes a pause calculating how many years have the time flew by ever since “2 years?”

“2 years since we last hang out like this at night. I guess we both have been pretty busy getting our life on track huh? You especially”

“Well, we gotta do what we both love to do. How is it working with us? Better than your previous job?”

“Having you there already makes it a thousand times better to be honest” SinB’s answer gotten herself a light pinch from Sojung “Hey, what was that for? Your pinch is getting much more painful after years not getting one”

“That for teasing me. You really haven’t change at all, aren’t you?” Sojung’s eyes leer to the younger girl right next to her

“Why would I change?” SinB returns Sojung’s question, finding such question a bit silly “I’m still the same old Hwang Eunbi you know before”

“I don’t know. Life?” Sojung shrugs her shoulders a little “Aren’t life supposed to change someone?”

“Well, too bad it didn’t change me. Why? It changes you?”

“It did. A little. Life has been tough especially since the last couple of months” Sojung’s voice kinda sound a little drifted away by the silence of the night. Noticing the sudden change in Sojung’s tone, SinB stops the both of them from walking before suddenly asking Sojung to stay there while she runs towards the nearby mini mart leaving Sojung standing in the middle of the walk-way with the coat they both shared just then.

A few minutes later, SinB comes back with two hot cans latte in her hand. She gives one to Sojung before reaching out to Sojung’s empty hand and walk her towards the nearby bench under the street light.

“I’m all ears if you need someone to listen to your random rants, Sojung” SinB takes away the can from Sojung’s hand and open it for her before passing it back to Sojung.

“It’s nothing SinB” Sojung takes a sip of the hot coffee to warm herself up

“I don’t trust your nothing, Sojung. Remember when you told me ‘it’s nothing’ years ago and it turns out you almost gotten into a fight with Eunha’s girlfriend because she thought you and Eunha is a thing? I bet your nothing is the same thing likes last time but maybe the situation is different”

“Do you seriously remember every single thing that I said?”

“I guess my mind knows that everything about you is important for me to keep in my memory then?” SinB gives off a small laugh

Sojung ponders a little before she finally decides to open up her situation with SinB

“I tried to juggle my life, between my works, with my personal time, with my relationship with Yerin. And I don’t know what went wrong, but since a couple of months ago, things have been rough for both me and Yerin. Worse, she doesn’t even wanna talk about it whenever I bring it up”

“Ahh… Perhaps she has her own struggle she keeps by herself?”

“I highly doubt, honestly. Because in the past, she will always open up with me. But lately, she’s been much more secretive. I don’t wanna think anything bad but her behaviors aren’t helping me at all” A deep sigh can be heard coming out of Sojung’s mouth.

“Any worst situation you can think of?” SinB asks.

Sojung takes another sip to wet her lips that are suddenly dried.

“I do have one in my mind. But I don’t wanna believe it till I see it with my own eyes” Sojung says as she puts the can on the bench, and then covers her disappointed face with both of her hands.

“I’m sure whatever you’re thinking right now isn’t what it’s supposed to be, Sojung” SinB put her right arm around Sojung’s shoulder and squeeze it lightly “I’m sure it’s nothing. But you both gotta have to find a time to talk to each other and settle the problem. That’s how relationship works? Right?” Sojung lifts her head to be greeted with an assuring smile from SinB.

“I hope it’s nothing too, SinB. Thanks for the words” Feeling a bit calmer than before, as if SinB’s simple words are able to take away her negative thoughts, Sojung returns the smile she’s gotten “And what about you? Still going on your own or do you already have someone by your side?”

“I do have someone by my side” SinB answers and she takes a pause before continuing “It’s just that someone doesn’t know about it at all and I think I should let it be that way” SinB averts her eyes to the road in front of them, less and lesser vehicles can be seen on the road because it’s already 30 minutes past 10.

“Not having the plan to tell that person at all?”

“Nope. Never the slightest plan comes across my mind ever since I fall for that someone”

“But why though?” Sojung puts her left hand on top of SinB’s right hand and she suddenly starts playing around with the latter’s fingers.

SinB returns her gaze back to Sojung with a mysterious smile on her face

“I feel comfortable that way. Not knowing how that person feels about me. So, I guess, I’m just trying to avoid a heartbreak of my own” SinB firmly hold Sojung’s hand before she gets up from the bench “Let’s go. It’s getting colder and I don’t want you to get sick because of it” and Sojung follows.

SinB pulls Sojung closer to her again so that they both are enwrap in her coat before the both of them continue making their way back home.

Once SinB arrives at her apartment, as soon as she locks her door, a text comes in. An euphoric smile forms on her lips when she realizes who the sender is

“Safely home yet?”

“Yes Sojung, I’ve just step into my apartment. You could have just waited for me to text you as I’ve promised though” SinB hit send and she goes straight into her room.

“Well, just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Thanks for tonight! It makes me missed the old us though” Sojung replies a few seconds later.

“We’re only a few floors apart in the office, Sojung. I’ll be there if you need me. Have a good rest, will you? Good night ^^”

“Good night to you too, Eunbi”

Not even bothers to take off her coats, SinB lies down on her bed, smiling foolishly as she feels the warmth of Sojung’s hand still lingers on hers, the smiles she falls into years ago are still the same smiles she falls into tonight, the voice she never gets tired of listening to is the same voice she can continuously listen to tonight. Sojung has always been SinB’s only one.

They both were roommate for 3 years before Sojung left after graduation. Only God knows how awkward the both of them were when they 1st become roommate back at their dorm. Sojung who was one year senior and has been living in the dorm longer than SinB pretty much already sets up a list of rules they both need to follow. And SinB being somewhat a rule breaker got onto Sojung’s nerve a couple of times before they both made peace a few months later only after they both get to know into each other better.

How? You may ask.

Simple. Just like what happened tonight, the same thing happened years ago.

From the wait, to the midnight rendezvous, to the night talk.

Sojung opens up to SinB out of nowhere that one particular night.

And SinB being a good listener, let Sojung blurted out all of her messed up emotion after the sudden break up with her partner.

The former, who doesn’t even bother to fall in love with anyone before, somehow started to develop one, upon spending more time together with the latter.

Knowing how a heartbreak can be, she chose to keep it to herself.

Later, on her second year and Sojung third year, they both decided to rent an apartment together, that is only a walking distance to their university, as it is much cheaper compared to their cost of living back in the dorm. Others even mistaken them as couple, only to be deny by both sides immediately as none ever shows any sign of liking the others.

You know what SinB likes about the both of them the most?

Despite living together,

Despite having their own private place,

They both still ends up going for a night walk,

Going to their favorite marts,

Getting their favorite drinks,

Sitting at their usual bench,

Only to have their daily conversation with each other,

Even if it’s only for question as simple as,

“How was your day today?”

The next day SinB arrives at her work cube, a cup of hot Americano and a pink sticky note attaches to it welcome her in the morning.

“Good morning ^^”

Two words and a smiley that manage to make SinB looks like a dumb fool so early in the morning

SinB snaps a photo of it and send it to Sojung with a reply saying

“Thanks for the good morning, Sojung. And good morning to you too =)”

She grins, taking out her sketch pad from her bag and put it on her table, getting ready to start her work.

“Girl, you should at least cover your smile a bit. Our co-workers here aren’t used to seeing you smiling like a fool so early in the morning though” Dahyun, one of SinB’s good friend ever since high school who happen to be working there, even sitting right next to her cube, whispers.

“Shut up, Dahyun” SinB gives a sharp eye to Dahyun, warning the latter not to start a fuss but she’s back to her fool smile when her eyes landed back onto the sticky note.

“I’m impressed that after all these years, you’re still in love with her” Dahyun comes closer to SinB by pulling her chair towards the latter, starting a private conversation.

“How can I not?” SinB points towards the sticky note, at this rate she really does looks like a child who has just gotten their favorite candy.

“I don’t know? Aren’t love supposed to fade away, especially in your case?” Dahyun asks, putting her left hand on top of SinB’s table, as she rests her cheeks against her fist, looking directly at SinB.

“Mayhaps one day it will, but maybe it will never”

“Still hasn’t confessed to her?’

“Don’t think I will”

“Coward” Dahyun lips start to form a smirk.

“I’m not”  

“Touche”
“Another word from you, our lunch deal is off”

“I rather cancel our deal than seeing you like this, Hwang. Don’t you think it’s about time you tell her the truth?”

“She’s taken, Dahyun. Plus, I’ve got nothing to lose if I didn’t confess to her”

“You do though. If you don’t, you’re about to lose her for good and we all know it’s unavoidable”

A silence stretch between them for a short seconds.

“But what if I do confess and I still lose her?”

“Well, at least you’ve tried”

“And get me heartbroken?”

“We’re bound to get a heart break at least once in our life. Don’t you think you’re just torturing your heart? Loving someone that’s so close to you yet you can’t love her fully as if she’s so far away from you?”

Dahyun words struck SinB like a lightning that’s gotten her speechless, not being able to find any words to reply to the former. Dahyun moves towards her own cube afterwards, leaving SinB alone so that the latter can have her own times to digest whatever things Dahyun just said.

Was her heart tortured being in a one-way love all this while?

Perhaps, her heart is.

But that’s the price she rather pays.