2011

 

“Let go of me!”

The other person continues to ignore

“I said let go of me!”

She finally let her goes once they arrived at a safer place

“Are you crazy? What were you thinking??”

“What? Me? Crazy?!”

“Yes! Were you trying to jump off the cliff? You could be seriously injured or even worse died!”

“I was not trying to jump off that cliff! And who cares if I’m injured? Maybe I’m better off dead”

“Have this” She passes a chocolate bar to the other person “I don’t know what you’re going through, perhaps you’re having a hard time right now. I know I’m a nobody but I sincerely hope you will continue living your life and soon find the peace that you are looking for. Also, I’m sorry if I was being too harsh on you just then but I beg you, please survive…”

 

***

 

“Eunbi! There you are” Juyeon shouts her name from afar “I’ve been looking for you almost everywhere” 

“Almost but not everywhere” SinB returns the remarks half sarcastic half joking 

“What happened to your wrist?” Juyeon asks noticing the faint red mark on the latter’s wrist

“You wouldn’t believe me”

“Try me then”

“Some stranger thought I was trying to jump off that cliff” She points towards the cliff on their left “So she pulled me off hard and drag me quite far from it, hence this” She says while showing her wrist

“But you’re trying, didn’t you?” That’s why Juyeon has been looking for her everywhere

“Emm, I guess but I just don’t have the gut to do it yet” SinB confesses although she denied it with the stranger back then

“I hope everytime that thought crossed your mind, if it’s not me, I hope some stranger will bump onto you and saved you from that thought of yours”

“Can I be saved, Juyeon?”

“You can Eunbi. Just like how I always saved you. Just like how that stranger did too”

“Wasn’t that the best way to get me out of this misery?”

“There’s always a better way Eunbi. A much better way than losing your life for it”

 

***

 

“Kim Sojung! Hello? Are you listening?” Bona snaps her finger to get Sojung’s attention back to her 

“Hmm? Oh, sorry. You were saying?” 

“What’s gotten into you? You seem lost ever since you return from the mart”

“I can’t stop thinking about her”

“Her who?”

“The girl I saw at Rocky hill just now”

“What’s up with her?”

“I’m pretty sure she did try to jump off the cliff but when I asked she said she wasn’t”

“Well, if she said she wasn’t, than maybe she really is wasn’t”

“I wanted to believe that but her eyes doesn’t seems to agree”

“Eyes can be deceiving, Sojung”

“No. Not to me. Eyes can’t lie to me”

“She’ll be okay, Sojung. She’ll be okay” Bona tries to calm Sojung down. She knows Sojung is still traumatized by that incident although it happened 8 years ago “And you’ll be okay too”

 

***

 

“Who are you staring at?” Juyeon asks from behind while they set up their tent

“The stranger I told you”

“Who? Where?” Juyeon’s eyes wander around 

“There” SinB points towards one of the campers next to them

“Ohh. Do you think this is just a coincidence or fate?”

“You know I don’t believe in either of them” SinB continues to hammer the stakes 

“I know you don’t but the answer is always one out of the two. Sometimes both”

“Whatever Juyeon, whatever. Now go and light up the fire will you? Before it turns dark”

“Emm, hello? I already did?” Juyeon turns SinB’s face a bit to the right to show her the fire pit she has already built and light up “You’re really losing your mind over some stranger, aren’t you?”

 

***

 

“Ouch!”

“Are you alright, Sojung??” Bona hurriedly comes out of the tent when she hears Sojung’s screams 

“I’m alright, Bona. It’s just a min-”

“No, you are not” Sojung’s word is cut off by someone unexpected “Stay here” 

Bona is stunned too but before she could attend to Sojung, the stranger is already back with a first aid kit and a bottle of water

“This will sting a bit” The other says while she pours iodine onto the wound on Sojung’s thumb and Sojung flinch a little 

“You shouldn’t think of anything when you’re hammering” The stranger seems to know that Sojung isn’t fully focused when it happened 

“I was thinking of you” 

“I’m here and still alive, am I?” 

 

***

 

“You don’t have to follow me. I’m not going to do anything crazy tonight” SinB says to the stranger who’s following her from behind. She’s just taking a night walk towards the lake not far from their camping ground. The stranger isn’t answering her but SinB knows she’s still there

“Anyway, what’s your name? I’m Hwang Eunbi. You can call me Eunbi” SinB turns around to face the stranger and she starts walking backwards 

“Kim Sojung. Just call me Sojung” Sojung’s eyes do not falter from SinB, making sure the path is clear behind her 

“You’re funny, do you know that?” SinB chuckles before she turns herself around and starts walking normally again, not wanting to make Sojung worries anymore “If I were you I wouldn’t even bother to care about someone I didn’t know” She then walks towards a bench not far from them and takes a sit. She lightly tap onto the space beside her gesturing Sojung to sit there

“How long will you be here for?” She asks

“Another 2 days. You?” Sojung answers and returns the question

“Same. Going back to your hometown after that?”

“Emm nope. Leaving the country for my degree”

“Ahh. A farewell trip for you then this is?” 

“For me and my friend”

“Both of you are going to the same university?”

Sojung nods as an answer “What about you? Where are you going after this?”

“I haven’t decided. Still have a month before degree started. Probably going to travel to a few more places till then”

“What course are you taking?”

“Media and photography”

“Ways to express yourself?”

“Emm, kinda” SinB nods lightly “You?”

“Art and literature”

“Ways to express yourself too?”

“Emm, it is” 

“Right. Wait here for a second” SinB suddenly gets up from her seat

“Where are you going?” Sojung gets ready to follow her 

“Just stay here. I’ll be back. I promise you I’ll be back” SinB quickly runs towards the direction they came from and she returns 5 minutes later. 5 minutes that seems like 5 hours to Sojung. Funny isn’t it? Sojung herself doesn’t know why she’s feeling this way towards a stranger she just knew today. 

“Here” SinB passes a choco vanilla ice cream to Sojung “Thank you for saving me today” 

“Were you really think of doing it?” Sojung asks 

“Emm, I did. Somehow it was you who saved me today. Usually my friend would but she’s just a few seconds late” 

“Hmm…” Sojung stops herself from taking another bite “What if none of us were there that time?”

“Honestly, I won’t do it. It was just something I thought of but not something I’d do” SinB pauses to take a bite of her ice cream “If it happened most likely because I was drowning in that thought of mine that I didn’t realize I’m doing it. When you pulled me off the cliff, I was brought back to reality at that instant”

“Have you tried, to shove away that thought of yours?”

“Perhaps I didn’t try hard enough, that’s why it keeps on coming back to me”

“Say, do you have any plan tomorrow?” Sojung ask SinB suddenly 

“Not really. Me and Juyeon are the impromptu type of travelers. Why?”

“Would you like to go somewhere with me?”

 

*****

 

“Anyone inside? Hello?” Sojung takes a peek inside the store “Han Seungyeon? Nicole? Anybody’s home? Hello helloooooooo” Sojung is being annoying. A side of her SinB hasn’t seen yesterday

“You have 5 seconds to come in Sojung before I press the alarm” Seungyeon warns her from behind the counter

“Hi Seungyeon!” Sojung enters the store with a wide grin “Where’s nicole?”

“Probably at the deck. Got customers who wanted to ride the jet ski” Seungyeon answers while she double check her scuba diving equipments “Who are you with? Hi?” Seungyeon notices an unknown figure is following Sojung from behind 

“Oh. Her name is Eunbi. Met her at the campground. Eunbi, this is Seungyeon. My cousin” The other two exchange greetings “Thought you don’t do diving class on Friday morning?” Sojung asks noticing Seungyeon is in her diving suit 

“Special case for our new recruit” Right at that moment, the person Seungyeon is referring to come in 

“I’m ready!” He walks towards the other three

“Sojung this is MJ. MJ, this is Sojung”

“Hi Sojung!” MJ greets her cheerfully “Ahh I’m nervous”

“Your first time diving?” Sojung asks MJ

“Yeah, excited and nervous at the same time. I’ll be fine, won’t I?”

“You’ll be fine as long as you follow her instructions” Sojung says “Anyway, is there something else going on between the two of you?” She asks both Seungyeon and MJ

“Huh? What makes you think that way?” MJ is genuinely curious but Seungyeon remains silent 

“Well, Seungyeon never does a diving class on Friday morning. Ever”

“Told you it’s a special case since he’s our new recruit Sojung” Seungyeon finally gets her say

“There’s always some other time some other day” Sojung isn’t backing off “Do you like him?” She asks out loud

“Let’s go MJ. We’re going to be late” Seungyeon grabs her goggles and fins with her cheeks turn rosy and starts to walk towards the exit 

“Have a great time Seungyeon! Bye bye!” Sojung waves her cousin a goodbye with a cunning smile 

“Seungyeon, wait up!” MJ quickly grabs his equipment too and chase after Seungyeon with a rosy cheeks of his own

 

“You’re enjoying yourself, aren’t you?” SinB who has been the audience for the past few minutes finally utters her words when it’s just the two of them left in the store

“I’m just too happy for her” Sojung directs her gaze back to SinB “She has quite a high standard and for her to do that for him, perhaps there’s something going on between them” 

“Anyway, why did you bring me here?”

“Right, I almost forgot about it” Sojung is too focused on teasing her cousin that she has diverted from the main reason they come here for “Do you know how to ride a jet ski?”

“I rode it once but as a passenger”

“Want to try ride it by yourself? It’s not that hard” Sojung goes to the back and brings out 2 life jacket. She gives one to SinB “Let’s go to the deck”

 

“Nicole! Hi!!!!!” Sojung waves to the lady who’s cleaning up the jet ski “Got 2 jet ski for us to ride?”

“Hi Sojung!” Nicole returns Sojung’s greet with a hug “Yeah, we have a few more left. Go and hop onto any of it. They are ready to go. Oh, and who is she?”

“Her name is Eunbi. Met her yesterday at the campground”

“Huh? You met her yesterday and already going out together today?”

“Things happen” Sojung grins “You can ride this one Eunbi” She tells SinB after she thoroughly check the Jet Ski condition. Once SinB safely take a sit, Sojung suddenly takes a sit behind her

“This is the key to start it” Sojung shows to SinB and she starts the Jet Ski with it, while unconsciously back hugging SinB “Then slowly, slowwwlyyy push the throttle to move forward” Sojung does just that and the Jet Ski starts moving a bit “You can push it harder to increase the speed once you’re comfortable with it. And if you want to make a turn, maintain the speed and lean towards the direction you want to go. Better if you slow down if you want to do it since this is your first time” Sojung then removes her hand from the handle “Now you try it. Let’s go back to the deck. I’ll ride on another Jet Ski”

 

Sojung then leads the way towards her favorite spot on the sea. When they arrived, she tells SinB to slow down and releases the throttle so the Jet Ski stops moving. 

“Go and shout out loud whatever you want. There are no one else here other than us”

And so SinB did. She let go whatever she’s been feeling. All the troubles and thoughts that have been eating her deep inside. The betrayals she faced, the burdens she carried, only at the age of 18. With no shoulders for her to lean on, to cry on, to depend on. How can she keeps on surviving?

 

*****

 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Sojung just realized SinB is looking at her quite intently almost halfway through their ferris wheel ride. 

 

“Sojung is something else, isn’t she?” Bona approaches SinB from behind in the gift shop. Sojung is at another aisle few rows away from them so Bona takes the chance to have a talk with SinB 

“Quite but not really. Though she did make me curious about her”

“Curious about which part of her?”

“I get it why she saved me that day. Bet others would too. But the way she begged me to stay alive, that’s what I’m curious about. For someone who’s a total stranger, to desperately wanted me to keep on living, staying alive and breathing in the future, huh, guess she’s indeed something else”

“She has experienced it before and she’s still traumatized because of it. Losing her only brother in front of her eyes and she was only a second late to save him, wouldn’t you be like her too?”

Hearing that, SinB is at lost of words. Now it’s starting to make sense why Sojung is behaving the way she is. 

“I’m only letting you know because she will never let you know about it and I don’t want you to misunderstood her behaviors. Sorry for only telling you this on our last day but just take it as a heads up? Who knows maybe in the future your path will crossed again”

“Any other things about her that I should know?”

 

“Hwang Eunbi? Hello? Are you there?” Sojung waves rapidly in front of SinB’s face to get her attention

“Huh?”

“Are you okay?” Sojung looks worried 

“Emm, sorry. I was thinking of something else. You were saying?”

“Nothing. Was asking why you’re staring at me just then”

“Oh. That. Nothing important” SinB shoots a smile “Anyway, remember the time you told me to survive? To stay alive no matter what?”

“Emm, I do” Sojung nods “Why are you asking?”

“I’ll do it. I’ll do as you say”

“Hmm?”

“I’ll survive. I’ll stay alive for the future. But in return, can you promise me one thing?”

“What is it?”

“Promise me you’ll survive and stay alive too for the future” SinB then takes out a bracelet from her pocket and place it at Sojung’s wrist “Just like the first time we met, in the future too, I want to meet you that way. Wherever, whenever, accidentally but hopefully in a better situation”

 

You’re having a hard time too

But you hide it perfectly 

I’m sorry for not noticing it earlier

But thank you for showing me that it’s possible

To breathe 

To live

No matter how hard life is

 

***********

 

2016

 

“Do you know how long I’ve been looking for you, Sojung??” Bona finally found Sojung after wandering around the campus searching for the latter whose phone is turned off on purpose

“Leave me alone, Bona…” Sojung mumbles but clear enough for Bona to hear

“Have you eaten?” Bona removes the book that is covering Sojung’s face

“Not hungry” Sojung takes the book back and cover her face again while lying down

“Get up and eat this” Bona removes the book again and put it further away. She grabs Sojung’s hand and pulls the latter into a sitting position

“I don’t have any appetite, Bona”

“I don’t want to hear any excuses from you. At least eat 1 or 2 bites” She tears the wrapper and passes the chicken wraps to Sojung “Still disappointed with your test result? Did prof said anything?”

“He said the only way is to resit the exam which means I’ve to repeat the class next semester which also means I have to extend my study for another year. Another year Bona… While our friends and you will be graduating this year” Sojung covers her face against her knees and sigh in disappointment 

“I don’t know if this will make you feel better but… I have to extend my study for another year too” 

“Huh?!” Sojung lift her face slowly and looks at Bona in surprise 

“I flunked my exam too. Some of our friends did too” Bona answers with a grin. 

“You’re lying just to make myself feel better, don’t you?”

“Yah!” Bona smacks Sojung’s back hard “Why would I lie? See this?” She takes out her exam paper and shows it to Sojung. A big F is written on top

“Same professor huh?”

“Yeah. We better not take his class when we repeat it. Luckily we can register for class earlier than other students for next year. Or else we will be stuck with him again” Bona keeps the exam paper back into her bag “Anyway there’s nothing for you to feel embarrassed about. Failing is a part of the process too and think of it this way, we get another year of freedom, isn’t it amazing?” Bona says with a smile. 

And Sojung has to agreed because once they are back home, and have to face the harsh reality of working environment, plus their family, it’s a goodbye to freedom.

“We’re soooo gonna get scolded when we are back this summer” 

“Well, I’ve already told my parents about it over the phone and they have scolded me already so perhaps it’ll be lesser when we meet”

“Should I call my parents too?” Sojung is contemplating “No no I shouldn’t. I’ll just tell them in person. That’s better” She takes back her words 

“Don’t you think it’s better if you give them a heads up? I thought you coming back home because they have something important to discuss in which I think I know what it is” 

“What do you think it’s going to be?”

“Probably the same as me. My sister told me they are arranging my marriage with someone, that’s why I told them about it. Hopefully they will cancel the plan or at least the other side will but we shall see”

“As if you’re going to listen to them” Sojung rolls her eyes upwards 

“It depends. We shall see who’s my partner to be. You?”

“Guess I shall see about it too”

 

*****

 

“Congratulations Eunbi!!!!” 

“Not you too Ryujin…” SinB shakes her head and releases a sigh

“What why? It’s your graduation day of course we need to celebrate. Plus, you’re selected as the best student of your class, more reason why we need to celebrate!” Ryujin goes back to the room and comes out with a cake

“Dude, it’s not even 30 minutes past our graduation ceremony and you’re already here?? Our friends are looking for you” Juyeon bumps out of nowhere “Hi Ryujin!”

“Hi Juyeon! Congratulations to you too!!” 

“Thank you!”

“It’s not even 30 minutes past our graduation ceremony and you’re here too?” SinB returns Juyeon’s remarks almost sarcastically 

“I’m looking for you that’s why I’m here. We should head back. They wanted to take photos”

“Do I have too? I’m not used to people congratulating me non stop”

“Only for today Eunbi. Only today” Juyeon grabs SinB’s arm 

“Wait! Let me follow you guys!” Ryujin quickly gets her camera 

“If you’re coming who’s taking care of the store? Don’t people like to come here on their graduation day?” SinB asks and pulls Juyeon to a stop

“I can close it for a while. It’s your day we’re talking about. Let’s go and take some photos of you two!” 

 

“SinB! Can we take photos together?” Someone calls SinB’s name from behind that gets people talking 

“Woahhh”

“Kim Yewon is finally making her move”

“So that is the girl she likes, I thought it was just a rumor”

“You two need to be a little bit closer” Ryujin tells them to close the gap “And smile Eunbi, smile”

“Do you like her Yewon? SinB is the one you like?” Someone suddenly asks Yewon. The school’s reporter perhaps judging from the way she’s wearing. Yewon being the district attorney’s infamous daughter for her beauty and brain sure keeps people talking about her and all eyes on her.

“Yes, she’s someone that I like but only today I am able to gather my courage to approach her” Yewon confesses publicly 

“You’re one lucky person, SinB” 

“Well, I guess I am but I wish not to be that lucky person. I’m sorry Yewon” SinB doesn’t have feelings for her, and yes she knows about the rumor. That she is the one Yewon likes. Unfortunately her heart isn’t hers.

“Do you already have someone?”

“Emm, I do. I already have my someone” SinB confesses too

“Who is she?”

“Someone I wished to see again one day, wherever, whenever, accidentally”

 

*****

 

“How did yours went?” Sojung gives Bona a call

“Surprisingly great? And I might going to listen to my parents this time”

“Let me guess, she’s pretty, isn’t she?”

“Emm definitely and she’s smart too”

“Did she knows you have to extend your study for another year? You said she’s smart, she doesn’t mind being with someone like you??”

“Wow ways to bring me down my friend” And they both releases a laughter “Anyway she’s fine with it. How did yours went?”

“I’m still on my way there. Almost there”

“Well, goodluck Sojung! I have to go. Luda is calling. Oh right, that’s her name Lee Luda. Bye Sojung! See you tomorrow!”

 

“There she is” Mr. Kim utters the moment Sojung walks into the dining room

“I’m sorry for being late. Friday traffic” Sojung gives her excuse

“It’s understandable Sojung” Mr. Jung, the other party replies. Sojung knows who he is. A long time friend of her dad but she only met him when she was little.

“You probably have met my precious daughter when you were kids but not sure if you two remember each other. Eunha, this is Sojung. The one I told you about” 

“Hi” Eunha greets Sojung “I’ve heard a lot about you”

“Hi. I’m sorry for not recognizing you” Sojung returns the greeting politely but awkwardly 

“Let’s have dinner shall we?” Mr. Kim says and he instructs the waitress to send the food in

 

“You look unhappy” Eunha says when it is just the two of them alone outside

“Huh? Oh. Sorry, I have a lot in my mind right now. Hence the expression” Sojung tries to hide it with a smile

“You don’t like this arrangement, don’t you?”

“Do you want me to be honest with you?”

“Emm, I do”

“Yes, I don’t agree with their plan at all. For us to get married. I don’t have any plan to get married, not anytime soon”

“And if I said I can wait for you no matter how long it takes for you to be ready?”

“Huh?” Sojung chuckles “Why do you want to marry me anyway? You don’t even know who I am Eunha”

“I’ve heard a lot from my dad about you”

“Doesn’t mean that they are true” Sojung raises her eyebrows and bites her lips “Don’t hurt yourself, Eunha. I can’t promise you no matter how long you wait for me that I will open my heart for you”

“Why? Do you already have someone?”

“No. Not really. I don’t know. But there’s someone I hope to see again”

“And if I manage to change your heart?”

“It won’t be easy”

“That’s better then. I don’t like easy things”

 

*****

 

“How was your interview yesterday? Okay?” Ryujin asks while she cleans her camera

“I think I did okay. Guess I’ll know about it in a week. Anyway, will you manage without me here?”

“Hello? I’ve managed it alone even before you work here”

“Just saying. Your place is getting popular too lately”

“Thanks to you. Hey but come to work here on weekend or at night or whenever you’re free will you?”

“We’re talking as if I already got that job offer” SinB chuckles

“My gut feeling says you will get it” 

Their conversation is interrupted when the bell rings, signaling someone just walk into their photo studio

“Hi! Welcome!” SinB greets cheerfully but her expression change when her eyes meet with the other’s and they both freeze

“Babe, let’s go. Why do you suddenly stop?” Eunha pulls Sojung towards SinB not knowing the story behind the two 

“How can we help you?” Ryujin jumps in noticing the change in SinB’s expression 

“Oh we’re here to take our engagement photos” Eunha answers 

“Do you have any concept in mind?” 

“Emm none. I’ll leave it to you. I’ve heard good reviews about this place”

“Shall we go over there to discuss further then?” Ryujin leads the two towards the discussion room leaving SinB still frozen at her spot

 

“Are you okay, Eunbi?” Ryujin approaches SinB who’s at the back room after the other two left 

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine” 

“Do you know them?”

“Who?”

“The customers who just left”

“Oh. I knew one of them”

“I’m guessing the non-talkative one?”

“Emm” SinB nods and she takes a sip of her tea to calm her down

“Is that her?”

“Her who?”

“Someone you wished to see again, whenever, wherever, accidentally?”

“Emm… That’s her” SinB places her cup down “Guess my wish has been answered in the most unexpected way”

 

“Go to the car first. I left something in the shop” Sojung gives Eunha the car key and runs back into the photo studio

“Hello?” Sojung calls upon not seeing anyone in the studio

“Can you go and see who’s there, Eunbi? I’ll finish this” Ryujin takes over the task and ask SinB to go out

“Yes? How may I-” SinB answers but she stops when she realizes who’s there

“Hi Eunbi” Sojung blooms a smile seeing the person she wanted to see for a long time

“Emm… Hi Sojung” She then walks towards the counter

“How have you been?” Sojung asks

“As you can see. Still breathing and alive. You?”

“Emm, still breathing and alive too. As I promised you” Sojung then shows the bracelet she’s wearing. The same one SinB gave her 5 years ago “This keeps me going”

“Anyway, anything I can help you with?” SinB tries to change the topic. It’s a lie if she said she’s not hurt seeing Sojung walked inside with someone else. But who is she to feel that way. They only knew each other for a brief moment back then.

“Nothing. I came back here to say hello to you. I was too stunned back then to greet you properly”

“Oh. If you have nothing else to say, I need to get back to work” SinB want to cut the conversation short

“Emm, alright. I’ll see you around” Sojung makes her way to the exit but before she pulls the glass door she stops and turns around to face SinB “I’m really happy to see you today Eunbi. It’s been a while since I feel this way. Thank you”

 

*****

 

“Welcome!” SinB greets the customer who just walked in cheerfully but her expression changes when her eyes meet with Sojung’s “Oh. Hi”

“Morning Eunbi” Sojung walks towards the counter 

“Your engagement photos aren’t ready yet”

“I’m not here for that”

“Then?”

“I need to take a studio photo of myself. Can I?”

“Emm. Let’s go inside”

 

“I’m sorry about yesterday” Sojung says while SinB set up the camera. She’s in a hurry yesterday that she was unable to explain the situation to SinB