“Will you be gone for long?” 

“Emm, I guess I really am”

“When will you come back?”

“In 5 years maybe?”

“Guess I’ll see you at the university. Promise me that you will?”

“Only if you promise me that you’ll continue running”

“For you or towards you?”

“For both”

****

“Are you awake, Yuna?” SinB knocks on Yuna’s door to wake her up. Looking at her watch, it’s almost 5 am and they’re gonna be late if Yuna is still sleeping. Not getting any reply from the latter, SinB opens the door without permission.

“Will you wake up already? We’re gonna be late”

“You should go ahead, I’ll go there by myself Eunbi” Yuna answers with her eyes closed 

“Coach isn’t gonna like it if you’re late again”

“That’s good then. At least he has a reason to drop me out of the team”

Yet she knows, he never will. Not just him, the entire team won’t let her, especially SinB.

“Alright, I’ll see you at the gym”

**

“Wanna join us for a morning coffee at the cafe before class starts, Yuna?” SinB asks while she cleans up her locker

“No thanks, I’m good” Yuna slings her bag and she closes her locker before she leave the room without saying goodbye.

“She's changed huh?” Juyeon walks towards SinB after Yuna exits the room

“Emm, she has. She’s no longer the Yuna that we know ever since that day happened” 

As soon as she steps out of the gym, the morning breeze hits her. It’s cold, the wind is. But thanks to the sun, it warms up the surroundings a bit. Yet to Yuna, the only thing she’s feeling is numbness. The coldness of the winter won’t make her shivers, the heated summer won’t be enough to warm her. Life seems to lose it purpose, yet here she is, still running towards the never ending destination.

 

“How? Why? Am I still here?”

*****

“Morning Sojung!” Someone greets her as soon as she steps inside the liberal arts building

“Oh, morning Dayoung!” Sojung waves back

“Welcome back to life, Kim Sojung!” Her TA who comes out of the office flashes a smile towards her 

“You really missed us, don’t you Nicole?” Sojung chuckles 

“You bet! I’m going to get coffee, want some?” 

“Nope, I’m good, thanks!” Sojung answers as she takes out her student ID to enter the studio. Just as she’s about to swipe it, someone shouts her name from the entrance

“Kim Sojunggggg! Long time no see!” Jiyeon runs towards her and in a flash, Sojung is already in the latter’s embrace

“Will you ever gonna stop embarrassing me, Jiyeon?” Sojung tries to break off the hug “It’s not like we didn’t see each other during the semester break” 

Jiyeon grins and she loosens her hugs 

“Oh, I heard you’re gonna be helping Prof. Ahn with her abstract painting class?”

“Emm, I am. Why?” Sojung switches on the light and she throws her bag onto the sofa 

“Cooool, can I join you sometimes? It’s gonna be hard handling that class on your own”

“You? Offering yourself to help with a class? This is new” Sojung goes to the rack to check on the art supplies “I don’t have a good feeling about this, maybe I should say no” 

“Please Sojung, pleaseeee. I’m not goofing around this time”

“Give me a reason why”

“Be-because I know how hard it is to handle that class, plus it’s a class for beginners mostly, won’t be easy for you to handle them alone”

“I’ve handled that class last semester, Jiyeon” Sojung shoots her eyes at the latter “I know that’s not the reason why you wanted to help me out. Tell me the truth or I won’t let you in at all”

“Fineeeeee fineeeeee, my crush is joining the class. That’s whyyyyyy”

“Ahhhh, Luda is joining?”

“Emm” Jiyeon nods

“And my answer is no, you can’t” 

“Huh? What? B-but whyyyyyy?” 

“Just feel like saying no to you” Sojung teases as she makes a run out of the studio 

“Yahhhh, Kim Sojung pleaseeeee” Jiyeon chases after Sojung as she continues to beg. Luck is almost not on her side as Sojung keeps on getting further away from her thanks to her long legs, not until Sojung accidentally bumps onto someone and they both fall onto the floor hard.

“Are you okay, Sojung???” Jiyeon runs towards Sojung and helps the latter to get up 

“I’m fine, thanks Jiyeon” 

Realizes the person she bumps onto is still on the floor, Sojung lends her hand 

“Are you alright? I’m sorry for what happened. I should’ve look at where I’m running to”

“It’s okay, I’m fine” The other person stands up on her own “It’s partially my fault too, and I’m sorry” She bows a little before she exits the building.

“Why do I have a feeling that you’ll be in a big trouble?” Jiyeon says

“Huh?”

“You don’t know her?”

“Emm, I don’t”

“She’s our number one sprinter. Choi Yuna. Heard that she’s been called to the national team as well”

*****

“Are you taking this class again, Jiyeon?” Prof. Ahn asks, she doesn’t recall seeing Jiyeon’s name in her class list

“No, Prof. I’m here to help Sojung, you know since this class has a lot of newbies, thought that she might need some help” Jiyeon grins

“What’s gotten into you?” She asks, a bit surprised hearing such answer from Jiyeon

“Her crush is taking this class, Prof” Sojung who’s been eavesdropping while setting up the paints and brushes on the student’s work area interrupts 

“That sounds much more convincing. Just don’t cause any trouble” Prof Ahn gives her permission “Class will start in another half an hour. You could help Sojung do some final check on the materials needed for today”

“Okay Prof! On it”

**

“Sojung…” Jiyeon walks over to the taller girl and whispers “Is she here to get her revenge on you?” 

“She? Revenge? Who?” 

“Choi Yuna” Neither of them expect to see Yuna walks into the class after the incident yesterday 

“I don’t think so. It doesn’t seem like she remembers me anyway” 

“Who knows? She might’ve just pretend not to recognize you”

“Ahh whatever. You should go and help Luda. I think she doesn’t even know how to hold a brush” Sojung points towards Jiyeon’s crush who unfortunately just spilled a cup of water onto the floor “Or maybe she’s just pretending not to know how to hold it to get your attention” Sojung returns the tease and she slightly push Jiyeon away

***

“How was your art class, Yuna?” SinB asks as they cooled down after their evening training 

“It was okay. Nothing much to do on the first day of class” 

“Are your TA pretty?”

“Don’t know” Yuna shrugs “I didn’t pay attention to them” 

“Them?? How many TA's you have in that class? 2??”

“Emm” Yuna nods “Why?”

“Wahhh, lucky for you. Last semester we all have to fight for our TA attention. Not to mention how damn pretty she is” Smile blooms on SinB’s lips “Her name is Kim Sojung if I recall correctly”

“Kim Sojung?”

“Emm” SinB gives a nods “You know her?”

“I think she’s one of the TA’s”

“Oh damnnn. I should stop by your class sometimes”

“Feel free to do so if you want to lose your girlfriend” Yuna points towards Eunha who’s crossing her arms a few steps away from them. Pretty sure Eunha overheard their conversation looking at how grumpy she is now “Good luck” Yuna bids her wish before she leave the two alone.

*****

“Sojung, I’ll leave first alright? Have a group discussion at the library” Jiyeon tells Sojung “Dinner at 8?” 

“Sounds good to me, see you then” Sojung waves back to Jiyeon who’s on her way out of the studio. Only one student left, and since Sojung also has her own painting to finish, she doesn’t mind staying there for a bit longer than usual. 

Perhaps, if someone suddenly step inside the studio, they could feel the awkwardness between the two. Both seem to be aware of each other existence but none is willing to break the silence. 

“Uh, emm” Sojung lifts her face, she doesn’t even realize that Yuna is standing next to her till the latter breaks the silence 

“Yes, Yuna?” Sojung put the brush on the wooden table 

“Do- do you have any more white paint? I ran out of it” Yuna stutters a little, finding it hard to speak to people who aren’t close to her. Even more so now than ever. 

“I do. I’ll bring it to your place” 

“Thanks” Yuna bows a little before she heads back to her work area. 

Not long after that, Sojung comes back with a half-filled tub of white paint. 

“Here you go” She places it on the table “Make sure to close the lid once you’ve scooped enough for your usage” Sojung reminds as her eyes leer onto Yuna’s painting.

“Okay, thank you” Yuna turns around and Sojung quickly averts her eyes to someplace else

“And you’re welcome” Sojung takes a step towards her work area but is put onto a halt by Yuna

“Emm, can you teach me how to blend the colors better on the canvas?”

“Hmm?” Sojung turns around to face Yuna

“I couldn’t blend these two colors, always ended up getting a line between them” Yuna shows her painting to Sojung for the latter to understand better

“Have you been using only one when you blend them?”

“Emm” Yuna nods

“Try not to do that, instead of moving the brush in a line, try to do a crisscross motions, you’ll get a much better result that way” Sojung advices “Also, don’t hesitate. It shows in your painting” Sojung vibes a smile to Yuna before she retreats back to her place.

***

“You’re late again, Yuna” 

“I’m sorry coach” Yuna takes a deep breath, she’s too focus on her painting that she forgot to look at her watch 

“10 extra laps for you today. Go and get change, also, you’ve a smudge of red paint on your cheek” 

“Okay coach, I’ll be right back”

 

“Someone is late” SinB greets Yuna in the locker room

“Nothing out of the ordinary for me” Yuna takes out her running jersey from the locker “But it’s very unlike you to be late to the training, Eunbi”

“I know” SinB suddenly bumps her head against the locker “Eunha is still sulking. I even went downtown to get her favorite cupcake just now but she still doesn’t want to talk to me”

“Maybe you should stop flirting with other girls although I know she knows you’re just joking around. Eunha has feelings too, Eunbi” Yuna zips her training jacket “You should be glad she’s still seeing you and doesn’t disappear in a sudden”

 

Disappear in a sudden.

Her own words that make her heart bleeds.

*****

“Thank God you’re here” Jiyeon tries to catch her breath once she gets inside Sojung’s studio

“Where else would I be?” Sojung continues to organize the buckets of paint on the racks “What do you want, Jiyeon?”

“Say, are you free now?” 

“Emm” Sojung nods “I’m going back home after this. Wanna go out for dinner later?”

“Dinner is on me only if you agreed to accompany me somewhere”

“Accompany you to where?”

 

“I’m worried for nothing” Sojung releases a sigh once they seated on the bench inside the stadium

“Huh?” 

“I thought you’re gonna bring me to the cafe Luda is working at”

“Should we?”

“Nope”

“Thought so” 

“But why are we here?” 

“Oh, my cousin says today they allowed anyone to come and see them practice”

“Juyeon?”

“Yeah” Jiyeon waves to Juyeon who just come out to the track.

“They don’t allowed anyone to come before this?”

“Nope. Only a day before the race they allowed us to come in” Jiyeon takes a look around her and see some familiar faces who are here to support the other runners.

“Oh, Yuna is finally here” She points towards Yuna who’s walking side by side with their school’s second best runner. 

“I recognize the other girl” Sojung says 

“Hwang Eunbi?”

“Emm. She took the abstract painting class last semester. I guess she recommended that class to Yuna”

**

“I guess the rumor is true then” Jiyeon takes a sip of the orange juice after the training session is over. Some of the athletes are cooling down while the others are still having their individual practice.

“What rumor?”

“About Yuna. No wonder it feels different”

“Hmm? Something is wrong with her run? She’s getting slower or?”

“Nope, she’s still run fast, perhaps much better than the last time I saw her run”

“Then?”

“Her run feels empty” 

“Empty?” 

“Ahh right, I forgot this is your first time seeing her run” Jiyeon grins “I may have come here for Juyeon but I mostly enjoyed seeing the way Yuna sprints from the start all the way to the finish line. Her runs always feel lively but somehow, I didn’t feel it today” Jiyeon releases a deep sigh, a bit frustrated seeing their best runner the way she is now “You know how our painting reflects our emotions?” She asks Sojung and the latter nods “Her run, reflects hers”

*****

“Hi Sojung!!” Sojung is startled a little and almost drop the glass she’s wiping onto the floor

“Hi Juyeon!” Sojung returns the greetings “Came here alone today?”

“Of course not, tadaaaaa” She steps aside a little to make way for her friends who are just stepping inside the cafe “We won the race yesterday, so I’m here to treat them” She grins

“Your tab or Jiyeon’s tab today?” Knowing Juyeon for quite some times now, Sojung already know the kind of trick the latter is going to pull despite saying that she’s going to treat her friends 

“Mine this time” Juyeon makes a peace sign “I’m going inside to see Jiyeon. You guys can order whatever you guys wanted” She tells her team “Oh there will be another 2 coming Sojung, I think you’ll know it’s them when they walk inside, just let them know to order whatever they want” 

 

“Huh, do I have to join you guys this time?” Yuna slowers her paces

“You’ve skipped enough of our team bonding time, Yuna” SinB pushes Yuna from behind to get the latter moving faster

“Skipping another one won’t hurt anyone” Yuna refuses to lose 

“Too bad we’re already here and you’re definitely going in” SinB pushes the door towards the cafe and pulls Yuna inside.

Sojung turns her back around as soon as she hears the bell chimes 

“You two made it finally” She greets them with a smile. She takes a looks at her watch, 15 minutes later, the other 2 Juyeon are referring to are finally here.

“Ohh?? Hi Sojung!” SinB’s face lits up “Do you remember me???” She pulls Yuna towards the counter “I bet you definitely remember her” Referring to Yuna this time.

“I remember the two of you” Sojung chuckles, she steals a glance at Yuna who looks like half of her soul is gone

“I never knew that you worked here” SinB continues

“Just helping out Jiyeon’s whenever I’m free” Sojung answers “Anyway, Juyeon said you guys can order whatever you want, bills on her” 

“Awesomeee, I’m going to make her goes broke today” SinB’s cheeky mode is on. After she’s done ordering the foods and drinks she wanted to try that seem endless, SinB hit Yuna’s shoulder lightly “What do you want Yuna?”

“Anything is fine for me” Yuna releases a sigh “I’ll ended up not eating them anyway” 

“Okayy, one sweet potato latte and one sweet potato baked for her then” SinB orders them for Yuna “You’ll ended up eating your favorite food no matter what mood you are having” 

*****

“Ahh right, I just remembered this. Coach told me that we all get a day off this Saturday for winning the race, how about we all go to the amusement park?” SinB relays their coach words to the others

“On it”

“Count me in”

“Me too” 

“Definitely in!”

And then all eyes shoot at Yuna

“You’re coming right, Yuna?” SinB asks 

“Count me out. I wanna rest”

 

“Guess it won’t hurt to ask her again before I leave” SinB stops in front of Yuna’s room and knock. Not getting any answers after she knocked for the third time, SinB opens it slowly, afraid that Yuna is really sleeping.

Huh.

Much to her surprise.

Yuna isn’t on her bed nor is she anywhere inside her room or their apartment.

“Just where did she goes this early in the morning?” SinB wonders, it’s only 9 am “Well, as long as she doesn’t get lost, I’ve nothing to worry” At least, Yuna is going out and didn’t spend her day in her room all day long, she thinks.

***

“Prof, is the studio gonna be open this weekend?” Jisoo asks Prof Ahn before the class end

“Right, thanks for asking Jisoo” Prof Ahn just remembered what she wanted to say to her students “Everyone, studio is closed this weekend. I won’t be around and neither any of your TA’s. Just go out and enjoy the weekend alright? You’re gonna need it for your next project” Half of the class are happy while the rest aren’t with the announcement “Oh another one, feel free to come to your senior’s exhibition at King’s gallery happening this weekend. Your TA’s will be displaying their projects there”

 

“I made it” Yuna catches her breath. People’s who walked passed by are looking at her, wonder why she looks so breathless. Well, she’s been running around the town, trying to find King’s gallery for nearly an hour. Guess SinB didn’t pray hard enough for Yuna not to get lost because she eventually did. But at least, she found the place at last.

“Going in Yuna?” 

Yuna lifts her face and if she remembers correctly, the person who’s talking to her goes by the name Luda.

“Emm” Yuna nods “You should go ahead first” She says, still feels awkward talking to people she barely knows 

“Okay” Luda shoots a smile before she goes inside the gallery.

**

“Is it blue?” She looks straight at that one painting that catches her eyes

“No. It can’t be” She takes two steps forward “Why does it looks red?” 

One step to her right 

“Yellow? H-how?” 

She moves four steps to her left this time 

“Why does it changes to green this time?”

She returns back to her initial spots 

“Is it really white all along?” 

 

“If you take three steps back, I bet it’ll change to purple” Yuna quickly averts her gaze to her right, Sojung is walking towards her.

Sojung couldn’t hide her smile all day long. Every visitor is perplexed with this one painting she worked on for a month. To see the way they are surprised for each steps they take to view the painting in a new color, it was all worth it. People didn’t call her an art illusionist prodigy for nothing. 

“You’re not gonna ask how I do it?” Sojung stands right next to Yuna whose eyes are now fixed onto the painting one more time

“Emm, I won’t” Yuna shakes her head lightly

“Thank you” Sojung chuckles “You’re the first one to do that” 

“I’m intrigued” 

“Hmm?”

“On what you’re feeling when you came up with that painting”

“Confused and miserable”  

Yuna shifts her eyes to Sojung.

“Weren’t those what you felt when you looked at it?” Sojung looks at Yuna eyes to eyes “Painting doesn’t lie to those who appreciate it” She says with her eye-smile.

*****

“Sojung, you aren’t leaving yet?” Jiyeon drops by the studio “What are you doing?” She walks towards Sojung who’s surrounded by canvases on the easels

“Are you free now Jiyeon?” 

“I guess I am” Jiyeon places her bag on the table and stands right next to Sojung

“Great. Prof wanted our opinions on the students’ projects” Sojung passes an evaluation form to Jiyeon and scoots over a little giving some space for the latter to sit right next to her. 

“Alright, where do we start?” Jiyeon takes the form and places herself to a sit 

“Found any that caught your attention?” Sojung asks

“Let’s see” Jiyeon takes a look at the painting one by one for a few seconds “2 paintings caught my eyes. That one” She points to the painting at the most left “and that one” The painting opposite of her 

“At least we agreed on one” Sojung says “But anyway, what do you like about that one?” She asks regarding the second painting that Jiyeon chooses 

“It screams a love confession to me” 

“Love?” Sojung chuckles “The old you won't even describe the painting that way”

“Say hello to the new me who is in love” Jiyeon hasn’t avert her attention away from the painting “Thanks to you, I learnt how to look at a painting way beyond the colors” Jiyeon crosses her arms and the end of her lips curves upward “It’s red but there’s no anger. She colored it red but you can feel the softness”

“Have you look at it from afar?" Sojung asks

"I haven't. Why?"

"The painter actually painted a heart. And heart screams love" Sojung continues “It’s a love letter for you, Jiyeon” 

“Huh?” Jiyeon looks at Sojung a bit dumbfounded 

“Luda painted it” Sojung’s smile widened 

 

“Stuck on something, Luda?” Sojung greets Luda from behind. The latter almost drops her wooden palette, too focus staring on the canvas not realizing Sojung is standing behind her. 

“Was just thinking of a way to confess my feeling to someone” 

“Towards the person that I’m thinking off right now or someone else?”

“The person in your mind”

“Ahhh” Sojung couldn’t hide her smile “Have you picked a color?”

“Emm, red” Luda answers “Or is it too common?”

“It is” Sojung nods “But sometimes, it makes a perfect illusion”

 

“Alright alright enough of the teasing, I’ll make my move tomorrow” 

“Take you that long huh?” Sojung hits Jiyeon’s shoulder lightly and they both laughed it off

“Now, the painting that we both like” Their gazes fall onto the painting at the most left 

“It’s a mess” Sojung says

“Emm, an absolute mess” Jiyeon agrees “But with a beauty of its own” 

“Guess she has a hidden talent huh?” 

“Who?”

“Choi Yuna. It’s her painting” 

*****

“Surprised that Prof gave you the highest mark, Yuna?” 

“Huh?” Yuna gets back to reality when Sojung speaks to her “Emm” She nods

“I guess whatever feeling you’re portraying, we all felt it at one point of our life. Those feelings that made us the better us today”

 

“Uhh, Yuna?” SinB snaps her fingers to get back Yuna’s attention “Done daydreaming?”

“Why do you suggest me that class, Eunbi?”

“Which one?” SinB asks but she makes a guess “Ahh, the painting class?”

“Emm, that painting class”

“If I were to be honest, I’d say because I know your TA is going to be a pretty one. Of course I’m just guessing at that time but I dare to bet since a lot of art student majors are pretty” 

“And if you were to lie?”

“Because I know it can help you to heal” 

And they both know, SinB’s lies are her most honest opinion. 

“Anyway, did you realize?”

“Hmm?”

“That you’ve started to talk more ever since the incident happened after you started the art class?”

“Is it a bad thing?” 

“Nope. Not at all”

***

“Oh? Hi Yuna!” Jiyeon greets the Yuna once the latter walks into the cafe

“Uh- Hi” Yuna returns the greeting 

“What would you like to order?”

“One sweet potato latte”

“Okay. Anything else?” 

“Uh- emm” Yuna stutters, she wanted to ask if Sojung is around but couldn’t find the words. Somehow, Jiyeon is able to guess it.

“The person you’re looking for is here” 

And the bell chimes.

“Hi Sojung!” Jiyeon gives her warmest greet

“Err, hi?” Sojung is taken aback, Jiyeon’s greet feels suspicious 

“Someone is waiting for you” Jiyeon says

“Who?” Sojung grabs the apron hanged on the walls

“Yuna” Jiyeon points towards Yuna who’s still standing in front of the counter. Only then, Sojung realizes Yuna is there. 

 

“I’ve to say, I’m quite surprised that you come here to find me” Sojung’s eyes are smiling “What is it that you want to talk about, Yuna?”

“Uhh- emm” Yuna bites her lower lips “Ab-about my painting”

“Ahhh. That painting” Sojung takes a sip of her orange juice “What a mess it is” Sojung chuckles. She takes a glance at Yuna to see the latter’s reaction and just as she expected, the other is hoping for an answer. 

“A mess isn’t always a bad thing, Yuna. Sometimes it’s the best way to portray one’s feelings” Sojung pauses “I’m in pain, but I wanted to heal. I’m sad but I wanted to be happy” Her lips curves “Love is still there yet anger is overpowering. All in all, they’re suffocating me” Sojung returns her gaze back to Yuna “Weren’t those the feelings you’re portraying?” Sojung waits for Yuna to answer her.

And after a while, Yuna finally speaks

“I know you’re good but why am I still surprised that you’re able to describe it so perfectly” 

“Painters reflect theirs emotions on their paintings and viewers are able to feel it because of their sincerity” She pauses “But sometimes, viewers see what they wanted to see, and they feel whatever they wanted to feel”

“For my painting, which one is it for you?” 

“A mixture of both for me. Your painting reminded me to the old me” Sojung is about to continue but Jiyeon calls her from the counter, in need of the latter’s help for the orders that keep on piling “I’ve to go, Yuna. I’ll see you in class tomorrow then”

*****

“What’s troubling you?” SinB squeezes Yuna’s shoulder lightly as she takes a sit right next to the latter

“Something that someone said to me”

“About what?”

“My painting”

“Who? Sojung?”

“Emm” Yuna answers short with a nod

SinB stares at Yuna for a while and she lets out a tiny laugh not long after that

“Her words or herself that is troubling you?”

“Huh?”

“Wait, maybe both?” SinB chuckles “I’ve known you for a long time Yuna, you’re definitely at hiding your emotions”

“I’m not hiding anything” Yuna refutes

“Say someone who are always late to practice, much more often ever since you started taking that art class” SinB continues her teasing yet Yuna still keep a straight face “But anyway, the person who’s troubling you are in the art studio, I saw her when I was looking for you just then”

**

“I know you’re a sprinter, but you don’t need to sprint all the way to here” Sojung says when she hears footsteps walking into the studio “I saw you by the window, Yuna” She turns around and greets Yuna with a smile.

“What are you doing?” Yuna walks towards Sojung who’s placing a few paintings on the easels arrange in a row 

“Giving you the answer you’re looking for” Sojung places the last painting before she goes and stands right next to Yuna “What do you see from these paintings?” 

Yuna’s eyes move from one painting to the other one by one, taking her time before she gives Sojung an answer

“The first one is too chaotic, the second one is still somewhat messy” Yuna rubs her chin, thinking “Emm, to be honest, this one looks like nothing. And the last one, hmm… it screams you” Her eyes are fixated on Sojung’s “Were you alright when you painted those?” 

“No, of course I’m not alright” Sojung chuckles “It was my first time not being able to paint like I always do”

“Heartbroken?” 

“Emm and I almost lost my passion towards something that I love” Sojung averts her eyes to her paintings “