Ever since that one particular customer walk into her cafe, her eyes seems to always find their way to the latter the moment she’s free of orders. She seems familiar, way too familiar but it because she can’t remember who that person was, where they first met, how did they know each other. It could be her mind is just messing up with her, but... her heart seems to remember.

“Ouch” Sojung is so lost in her thoughts that she is only brought back to reality when she feels her hand is burning, hot. She should have swayed from reality at a place far away from the milk steamer. Thanks to her clumsy self, now her hand is steaming red. Sojung blows on it a couple of times, trying to rinse her hand under cold water to ease the pain, hisses and flinches every time the pain comes back. But what happened next, takes her pain away.

She doesn’t know when did the person she’s eyeing on is standing right next to her, only when she feels a cold hand touches hers, gently, and walks her towards the table she’s sitting at. She comes back a few moments later after getting the first aid kid she’s gotten from the cabinet below the counter.

“This will hurt a bit, but bear with me” The person held Sojung’s hand, and gracefully applies the aloe vera lotion on Sojung’s palm, before wrapping Sojung’s hand with a cloth bandage. 

“Feels better?” The person asks, her eyes land on Sojung’s for a short seconds.

Sojung nods as her answer. 

Before the latter walks away to store the first aid kit back, Sojung manages to grab the latter’s wrist and asks 

“I know you, didn’t I?”

Silence ensues as their eyes locked with one another.

“Yes, Sojung. You know me. You know me too well” 

“Who are you? How did you know my name? Why does your voice sounds so familiar? Do we have memories with one another?”

Why. Can’t. I. Remember

Coming back home that night, as she takes out her house keys from her jacket’s pocket, a piece of paper slips out of her jacket.

Feels great to finally meet you again, Sojung - Hwang Eunbi

*****

“Sojung-ah, dinner’s ready” Yerin knocks on Sojung’s door once, twice, she knocks it for the third time and still doesn’t get any respond from Sojung. So she slowly turns the door knob, taking a peek inside, only to see Sojung on the floor, hugging her legs, burying her face in between her knees, soft sobs can be heard. 

“Heyy, are you okay?” Yerin gently pats Sojung’s back trying to calm her down.

“Why can’t I remember her...” 

“Remember who?”

Sojung lifts her face a little and shows the paper with SinB’s name written on it to Yerin. Yerin’s expression changes when she sees the name, it has been almost 2 years since Sojung last mention about that person.

“Wait here for a sec” Yerin goes out for a while before coming back, carrying a medium size box. A box Sojung hasn’t seen before, well, as far as she could remember. 

“Open it” Yerin tells her but Sojung hesitates. Her eyes go back and forth between Yerin and the box “Everything you wanna know about her is in there” Yerin convinces her.

Hearing that, Sojung slowly takes off the lid. 

“What are all of these?” Sojung asks as she takes out the portraits one by one, portraits of her, in different colors, different environments, different situations, different emotions.

“You are her muse, Sojung. You used to be her muse” 

“What do you mean by I used to be her muse? What happened to me and her?”

Yerin finds it hard to answer. Taking a deep breath, Yerin says “That is something I hope you won’t remember, ever again, Sojung” She squeezes Sojung’s shoulder a bit before she exits the room, leaving Sojung alone. 

Ever since Sojung lost some of her memories, after discussing with Bona, they decided to hide a few things that were originally placed in Sojung’s room. And by that few things, she means, everything related to SinB. It’s not that they have a beef with SinB, it’s just that, if Sojung remembers who SinB is, that’ll just hurts her even more. They only want Sojung to regain the memories that she’s lost, only the good one, those happy memories.

Oh well, SinB used to be Sojung’s happiness, but not forever. And of course, Yerin wants Sojung to remember the happy parts, but, she knows, if Sojung is able to regain her memories about it, she’ll remember the moment the two broke up, and perhaps, she’ll remember how heartbroken she was days after that. That’s why they tried to hide any trace of SinB in Sojung’s life. But, this is just how far they can go. Sojung has been able to regain most of the memories she has lost, except her memories with SinB.

*****

The next day, when Sojung arrives at the cafe, she sees the person who now she knows goes by the name of Eunbi, is already there, having a conversation with Bona. They seem to be in a pretty serious conversation judging from their expressions but the moment SinB sees her walking into the cafe, a smile vibes off from the latter’s lips, same goes to Bona. The two exchanges a small talk afterwards before Bona starts to walk towards Sojung and drags her towards SinB’s table. 

“It seems like you two have a lot to catch up. I’m giving you as many days off as you need Sojung, so use them wisely” A pat on her shoulder and Bona is already gone, leaving the two alone.

For a while that seems too long for Sojung, with that stares she’s gotten from SinB, her heart skips a few beats sometimes. She knows that stares, that lovely playful stares, her heart knows.

“I like your hair color. Black looks good on you” SinB breaks the silence that stretches between them “Ahh and before I forget, this is for you” She takes out the custard bun from her bag and passes it to Sojung. It’s the only custard bun Sojung likes from her favorite bakery at downtown that only a few people know about. 

“I’m not convincing enough?” Not getting any respond from Sojung, SinB starts to take out stuff from her bag one by one. From Sojung’s favorite chocolate chip cookies, her pepsi cola jelly, Eddie’s salted fish crackers, to Sojung’s all time favorite road trip snack - Raft’s mozarella string cheese. 

Seeing SinB’s cute behavior, Sojung almost cracks a smile. She’s already convinced enough that they do know each other the moment she browse through all the items she found in the box last night. But Yerin reminds her not to let herself fall into the person in front of her right now, if she doesn’t wanna get hurt. 

“I know we both know each other, Eunbi” Sojung’s words manages to catch Sinb’s attention “I found all of my portraits that you drew, the letters you wrote, photos of us. You and I... We used to be more than just friends, weren’t we?” 

Used. The word that hurt them, both.

“I thought you don’t keep them anymore” There’s a glisten in her eyes, SinB couldn’t believe what she just heard. She remembers clearly, the last time they texted each other, Sojung told her things she didn’t want to hear, that Sojung had throw away all the gifts SinB gave her, the portraits included. 

“I don’t even remember having them, Eunbi”

Hearing that breaks SinB’s heart even more. 

“Do you like them? The portraits, I meant” 

Sojung nods.

A simple gestures that allows SinB to smile again. 

“Do you still draw them, Eunbi?”

“I don’t anymore” SinB shakes her head a little

“Why? Your drawing is good” 

“I don’t know why. I tried actually. But it seems like I can only draw you” SinB takes out her small sketchbook from her bag, she tears apart a page that has a sketch on it and slides it to Sojung.

“You are still my muse, Sojung. After all these years...” 

On it, is a portrait of Sojung, in her white blouse, black khakis, ponytail hair, the way she dressed up yesterday...

*****

Winter

“Where are we?” Sojung asks the moment SinB parks her car.

“The very first place I bring you out on a date” SinB shoots a smile before she exits the car, Sojung follows her a few seconds later. 

“Come. Let’s sit at the bench over there” SinB grabs the end of Sojung’s light brown coat and walks her towards the bench. 

“Sit here. I’ll be back in a moment” 

While waiting for SinB to come back, Sojung starts to scan the area. She tries to remember, when was the last time she came here, if she really have been here on a date with SinB. Has she seen that little fountain on her far right somewhere else? Because it does seems familiar. Has she seen the tree in front of her at some other places? Well, of course, they are scattered at all over the place but one will not be the same as the other. That sound, that soft melody made by the wind, it reminds her to someone that seems blurry in her mind. But that someone just becomes a little clearer the moment she sees SinB walks towards her. 

“Got your favorite blueberry yogurt ice cream” SinB takes a sit right next to Sojung after she gives the ice cream to the latter. Sojung remembers the taste, her buds haven’t lost their memory. 

“Do you remember anything?” SinB asks in after taking a bite of her ice cream.

“Kinda. A little, but they all are still blurry to me” 

“Do you remember yourself standing underneath that tree and a pile of snow suddenly fall on your head?” SinB points towards the tree in front of her, a grins slowly takes over her lips, still thinking that moment funny.

“I don’t” Sojung pauses a bit “But I saw the photo of it. You even drew a portrait of that moment” She remembers seeing the situation SinB describe amongst the photos and the portraits last night.

“That was the very first portrait of yours that I drew. Still my favorite until today” SinB looks at Sojung briefly before she moves her gaze away when Sojung’s eyes suddenly land on hers “I can still remember your whiny face when it happened” A soft smile forms on her lips. 

“Do I eat ice cream in winter too?” 

SinB nods 

“And you get a lot of brain freeze afterwards too” She chuckles. 

“What else do I like to do during winter with you?” 

“Snowball fight. And you’re really good at aiming me too” SinB takes out her phone and opens the photo gallery. Once she found the video, she passes her phone to Sojung and play it “You hit me hard on my cheeks that time, because I destroyed your snowman” SinB grins showing her teeth

“Serve you right then” Sojung slips her tongue out a bit, watching the video slowly carve a smile on her lips

“You also love ice skating although you are really bad at it. I have to hold you the entire time to prevent you from falling” SinB swipes left skipping a few videos before she finally found the video she’s been looking for 

“That was when you fall down quite badly after you insist of letting go of my hand and not to mention you suddenly started to sprint” 

“You didn’t even bother to help me to get up on my feet” Sojung’s whine after the video ended

“I did, but I can’t missed the chance to record your pouty face that time. It’s cute you know” 

Keeping her phone in the pocket, silence ensues between them for a short while. SinB is giving Sojung some time to digest everything that she just said. She hopes, Sojung will remember. 

“What about you?”

“Me? What about me?”

“Is there anything that you like to do during winter?”

SinB doesn’t answer Sojung immediately. She turns herself to her left, facing Sojung. She gathers her courage to caress Sojung’s cheek, wiping the ice cream off the latter’s lips. She then stares at her favorite brown orbs for a long seconds before she gives her answer 

“I will always make sure that I’ll experience the first snowfall with you”

Sojung is cleaning up the kitchen counter when SinB suddenly covers her with her long padded winter coat, grabs her hand and walks Sojung out of their studio.

“Where are you dragging me to this time, Eunbi?” Sojung who is used to this situation slower her pace, taking her time to wear her winter coat, she couldn’t even wear her boots properly either. 

“Nowhere, just here” SinB stops walking the moment they both stand at the tiny lawn behind their studio.

“Okay, and why? It’s colddddddd” Sojung rubs both of her cheeks to warm herself

“You’ll know it soon” 

“How soon is your soon, Eunbi...” 

“In a moment” 

“Okay, that’s it. I’m going back into our studio” The moment Sojung starts to walk, snow begins to fall...

Finally realizing why SinB brought her out of the studio, Sojung turns herself around, to be greeted with that lovely smile of SinB.

“Do you remember? Our very first snowfall last year?” 

Sojung walks herself towards SinB.

“How could I not?” She wraps her arms around SinB’s waist

“That was the time we both say forever is ours”

*****

Fall

The next day, SinB brings Sojung to an art museum 1 hour away from her home.

“Why are we here?” 

“Because, going to an art museum was your favorite thing to do in Fall” SinB answers as they take a step inside the museum full with colors.

SinB lets Sojung walks a few steps in front of her, as the latter immerses herself inside once used to be her favorite world. She still remembers the time Sojung sat at the white bench in the middle of the room, her eyes were fixed onto an art in front of her. It was an art full with heart shapes of different colors, different sizes. But what tickles SinB the most was when she found out that Sojung was actually counting how many hearts were in the painting and it took her almost half an hour to finally got her answer right. The Sojung she knew that time, was definitely adorable. 

And the Sojung that’s with her now, isn’t that much of a difference. 

“Eunbi...” Sojung calls her out

“Hmm?”

“How many circles and squares are actually in the painting?” Getting that question, SinB couldn’t held in her tiny chuckles.

“What’s so funny about my question?” Sojung forms a pout

“Nothing. I just remembered you once asked me the same thing only the painting is different” SinB stands right next to Sojung, and she starts to count

“My question is silly, isn’t it?” 

“Nope, not at all” SinB stops counting and shoots a smile to Sojung “That’s what art is about. Some people enjoy seeing them, some people create them, and there will be people like you who asks questions that even the artist doesn’t know the answer” She pauses a bit “I don’t know about other artist, but as for me, if I were to draw such pieces, I won’t even count how many circles, squares, hearts, triangles that I draw, because everything that I put up on all of the canvases, are based on my emotions” And this time, it’s Sojung turns to find SinB adorable. Her expression doesn’t show it, and it’s better if she doesn’t, for now, at least. 

“Do you bring your diary?” SinB asks after they take a sit at the museum cafe.

“Yes, I do. Why did you asked me to bring it here?” Sojung takes out her light purple diary from her sling-bag and so does SinB.

“Do you still have that dried red leaf that you keep in it? Should be in the 10 pages from the back” 

Sojung who’s flipping through her diary stops for a while and asks “How did you know?”

“Know about what?”

“Both”

“Because... I have the same thing in my diary too, at the exact same page as yours” SinB takes out hers and shows it to Sojung who’s now holding her leaf as well

“Also, if you are wondering why 10 pages from the back, it doesn’t means anything. It’s just you being you. Requesting random things like that” And Sojung is still like that now. Yerin and Bona both always said the same thing to her whenever she request or mentioning something out of the blue.

“Is there anything else that I like to do in fall with you?”

“You love to do a lot of things in fall. Horseback riding, apple picking, baking, getting mad at me...” 

“Getting mad at you?”

“For burning our apple pie, not once, not twice, but...” SinB lifts 3 of her fingers while grinning 

“Three? In a day??” Sojung voices raises a little, surprise with what she just heard 

“Nope, 4 times, in a day” She raises another finger and her grin gets bigger

“You’re really bad in baking. Isn’t baking an art?” Sojung couldn’t stop laughing, the first time she did ever since she comes to know SinB again.

“Not the kind of art I’m good at”

“What about you then? What do you like to do in fall?”

SinB wraps her fingers in between Sojung, feeling the warmth of the latter that she misses ever since they were apart, landing a soft kiss against it before she says 

“Anything that will remind me of you”

Ever since they broke up, there were never a moment, SinB d