Lisa Manoban | Comfort & Doubts

Hazy.

That's the last thing I remember after I realized that I'm in a hospital bed, feeling numb and weak.

"Nurse, please check for the patient's relative. Inform them that Ms. Manoban is already conscious."

"Yes, Doctor Kim."

I barely heard them but it was a bit clear to me. I flinched at the fingers that touched my wrist and my sight hovered slowly to the culprit.

"Doctor... Kim?"

"Yah... I told you to monitor your food intake and report to me. Just how did you have the courage to eat a cake bombarded with fine-crushed peanuts?"

Oh yeah, I remember. Happy times. I snorted weakly but she still noticed it and gave me a look.

"I-I'm sorry... I don't know how to...to...converse?"

"What, are we hooking up or something? Aside from observing what else triggers your allergy, I just need you to be cautious with your food so something like this won't happen. Aish jinjja..."

I giggled at her remark and suddenly felt at ease. I figured that her personality does that... I mean, making you feel comfortable.

I am for a fact very cautious of my food, it's just that Onni gave it to me so I thought it was safe. Maybe she didn't notice it too...but anyway, it was delicious.

"Was it delicious?"

"Yeah!" I answered almost enthusiastically. I would if I'm not in my current state. I quickly halted when I saw her giving me a look again. She just tested me and I fell for it.

"I... -"

"Lisa!"

As if I was saved by the bell, Onni entered the room and Doctor Kim stepped back a little to give us space.

"Onni..."

"I'm sorry! I didn't know it was peanuts!" Onni apologized as she too my hand and carressed it.

"It's okay... I just want to go home." I asked sincerely.

"Can she?" Onnie asked Doctor Kim.

"Yes, she's fine now. I hope you would be more cautious next time. Her allergy is very sensitive and can be triggered easily. Please be careful."

"Will do, Doctor. Thank you."

~ ~ ~

"Hmm what should I say to her?" I murmured while I stupidly stare at my phone, and my breakfast right in front of me. I'm alone at our dining room, as always. Well... Onni just cooks for me or buy me food. She takes care of a lot of stuff that I don't want to know and besides, I like the solitude in mornings like this.

"It's just egg and bacon with toasts... How can this have peanuts? Aish... Whatever." I began to type nervously.

Me: Doctor Kim, I'm having egg and bacon with toasts this morning. (7:55)

Doc. Kim: Good, enjoy :) (8:01)

Great. What now? Should I thank her? Nevermind.

When i was about to start eating, my phone beeped again.

Doc. Kim: Mine is coffee and toast! Don't you like coffee? (8:15)

I drank my orange juice. I suddenly felt thirsty. Is she starting a conversation with me?

Me: I don't, since it triggers my insomia. (8:18)

Did it sound so dead? Should I added a smiley or something? Wait... That'll make it look weirder.

Doc. Kim: Oh, you have a lot of issues do you? Haha, just kidding.. Have a nice day Lili :) (8:20)

Me: Haha thanks. Have a nice day Chu :D (8:21)

It was long seconds before I realized that I was idly staring at my phone with a stupid grin plastered on my face.

Aish... Just eat, dummy. It's just a message.

~ ~ ~

The following days later...

Me: I know! Spicy beef noodle soup would always top my list too!

Chu: Really?! We're the same again? So. Cool.

Me: So cool? Ah jinjja hahaha! Maybe we should get some next time. Haha just kidding.

Chu: What do you mean you're kidding? I'd love to!

Me: You do?

Chu: Of course! How about dinner later? I know a good place :)

Me: Sure!

Chu: Good. I'll just pick you up. Send me your address.

Me: No it's okay. I'll just meet you there.

Chu: Okay then, I'll send you the location. See you at 7?

Me: Will be there :D

Chu: So. Cool.

Okay, Lisa... Breathe.

I looked so enthusiastic. Just when did I learn that?! Was it me all along? Did she make me do it? Why?

Whatever. The problem is... I'm meeting her. Later. At dinner. So. Not. Cool.

What if I keep stuttering? What if she finds it weird that I'm so different in person? That I don't talk at all?

Oh. My-... No no no. I can't freak out right now.

Maybe I should just make an excuse? No! That's embarrassing!

Okay! Okay... Calm down. I'll just smile and nod in everything she says so I won't have to be weird. Just act normal, Lisa.

~ ~ ~

"You don't know how to ride a bike? Aish... Pabo!" My laugh echoed across the spaces of the restaurant which gave the odd stares from the few other people inside.

"Aish...what an annoying laugh! Look! People are staring!"

"Ah jinjja...and how can you just eat paper?!" The annoying laugh doubled which made Jisoo cover her ears..

"Yah! That was when I was a little kid! At least I dont have apple hair!" Jisoo said in rebuke.

"Hey, don't get me started on you hair, you nerd!"

"Whatever! Ugh, I shouldn't have agreed on seeing each other's childhood pictures!" Jisoo gave me an annoyed look and smiled her sweetest so far after.

It made me quiet. Especially when we locked gazes and found myself returning the same, sweet smile for her.

Only for her, I thought. I smiled like this for the very first time.

"You're really beautiful when you smile like that." Jisoo commented so casually as if it didn't sent me shivers, as if it didn't moved the butterflies in my stomach that have been present since we met earlier.

I flustered and I know she saw right through me so i dug in to my noodles instead of replying.

"So beautiful without that laugh too!" Jisoo added while laughing dorkly.

"Yah! Kim Jisoo!"

~ ~ ~

"Why are you so covered?" Jisoo asked as we stroll down the park with an overview of the wide body of water.

"It's.. It's a little cold." I reasoned. From the very first time we met, I have the hunch that she doesn't recognize me one bit. I concluded that maybe I look different when I'm just like this but when I got to know her today, I've come to realize that she's a full-time nerd and doesn't open her television or social media at all...

...and I think that's perfect.

"What do you do?“ She asked again, full of curiosity.

"What do you mean?"

"Well.. You know I'm a doctor, so-..."

"Oh..." I cut off, understanding what she meant. Should I tell her?

"I'm in the entertainment industry."

"Oh, really? Cool!"

"Why did you choose to be a pediatrician?" I asked quickly to refrain her from giving any follow-up questions about me. I like it this way, I thought or maybe I'm not ready for her reaction.... Atleast not yet.

"Hmm... That's a good question and a long story to tell."

"I'm listening."

Jisoo chuckled softly and shifted her gaze a little lower which made me think that it was a bad question to ask.

"You don't have to answer it if you don't want to." I added.

"Thank you but... It's fine, really." She looked at me and showed me a sentimental smile, if I were to describe it.

"I'll make it short though. It's because of my little brother. He's gone and I missed him so much. Little kids keep reminding me of him. Is that... reasonable enough?" She continued while looking at the farthest as she can through the dark skies.

I smiled even if she doesn't see it. "I think... No reasons nor logical explanations are needed for that. You feel what you feel and your heart gets to choose how you cope with it."

Jisoo paused in long minutes and I started to get anxious if I offended her or something. I looked at her and I saw her eyes b with tears. My eyes widen and I didn't know what to do.

She faced me and slowly, she reached for my fingers that were brushing with hers minutes ago. She held my hand and smiled at me.

"Thank you. Just... Thank you." Jisoo finally spoke. I felt she wanted to explain further but she didn't know how at the moment, and that's fine. She smiled again and that triggered the crystals to fall to her cheeks. I tightened my grip and pulled her.

I didn't know what courage came over me but I just knew she needed it. Those sweet smiles, hilarious personality and laughters... Those hid this Jisoo right in front of me, the one I'm holding so close while she sobs softly.

"It's okay." I cooed while caressing her head.

~ ~ ~

"Should we call it a day?" Jisoo suggested as we continue to walk quietly, our fingers still intertwined.

"Okay. I'll take you home."

Jisoo chuckled while she swings our hands. "You silly! We both brought our cars remember?"

"Oh..." I was dumbfounded and just laughed with her.

"Then...I'll just take you to your car?"

Jisoo kept laughing before she answered me. "I'd be glad."

Our smiles were kept into our faces, we talked some more, laughed some more that I wished the parking lot was an hour walk, but all things must come to an end, right? Especially the good ones.

"So... This is me." Jisoo said while pointing her dark blue-ish sedan.

"You like blue?"

"Hmm... Not really. This is the closest to purple though. Midnight blue."

I nodded in amazement. It's because I haven't thought of car colors. Mine is all black and gray.

"How about you?"

"Yellow." I smiled upon answering.

"Really? Just like your smile." She said and I got confused.

"It's bright."

"Ooh... You're such a sweet talker huh?" I teased.

"Not quite. I'm more of the affectionate type."

"Oh really? How?"

"Do you really want to know, Lisa?"

I gulped. W-what does she mean?

"Y-yes?" I answered doubtly.

She laughed with a slight blush on her cheeks. "You're clueless, aren't you?"

"W-what?"

"You're cute."

"Y-yah! Are you making fun of me?"

"Ani... You're really cute." She said after a chuckle. Then she pulled our intertwined hands and she leaned closer. She removed my face mask which earned me shivers again upon her touch in my ear.

She leaned closer on my side and whispered; "Like this." Then I felt warmth and softness from her lips. It was few seconds when I realized she kissed me on the cheek.

I got all warmed up and I just feel that my face was already red as a tomato. I couldn't hide that anymore.

I didn't know what to do but I guess I always end up doing something risky in times like these. I pulled her too and return the kiss on her cheek.

She giggled and I did too. It should be something awkward but it's not, it felt... real.

"You're competitive, huh?" Jisoo teased.

"Yes, I am."

With all smiles, staring at each other, I know none of us wanted this moment to end.

"Good night, Lili."

But it had to.

I smiled at her and she did too.

"Good night, Chu."

"Take care, idiot." She teased when she got in the car.

"Will do. Don't choke on paper while driving."

"Yah!" She chuckled but continued. "Give me a beep when you get home?"

"Sure. You too."

She nodded and we waved at each other until she drove off. I just stood for a short moment and started walking towards my car. I got in and just stared at nothingness.

"It... Just feels extra empty when I don't hear your silly laugh." I chuckled sarcastically. "...and it just takes one day? One day for me to get this attached? How pathetic, Lisa." I murmured some more until i decided to finally drive home.

"That probably meant nothing to her anyway."

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