"Lili! Look at these flowers!"

 

"Wow! It's perfect Nini! You think my mom would love these?“

 

"Of course! Because it'll be from you." 

 

"From us, Nini." 

 

 

 

 

I shot my eyes open, caressing my head from that weird dream. It wasn't a dream though, it was a memory. A memory so distant I almost thought twice if it really happened in the past.

 

"Lisa? Are you okay? We're almost home." Manager Onni said. It was a while that I realized we're on our way home from a photoshoot. I was so tired I fell asleep once I sat down. 

 

I also had my phone in my lap, remembering that I was about to message someone but my sleep beat me to it. I slid unlock on my phone, showing the last message I was looking at before dozing off. 

 

[Messages]

Chu: How's the photoshoot? (Today • 19:28) 

 

I smiled even though I've read it a second time, smiled even if it was a simple question. After that visit at our entertainment building, after that piano and singing my heart out for Jisoo, we've been more... intimate? If that fits it right. I honestly don't know how to describe it.

 

What I know is, days became exciting knowing that I have her to talk and hang out with. I've been so complacent with work, just following a cycle and I didn't even know why I do the things that I do anymore. 

 

But talking about my work with Jisoo and how I enjoyed everything about it, I felt it was validated and kept me looking forward each day, even for a simple photoshoot. It made me remember how rewarding it is to live your passion. 

 

[Messages]

Me: It was fun. I get to eat free chocolates. :P (Today • 20:22) 

 

Chu: Hey that's not fair! (Today • 20:23) 

 

Me: What is? You have lots of choco milk in your office fridge! (Today • 20:23) 

 

Chu: That's for patients! Aka also for you *rolls eyes* FFFF (Today • 20:24) 

 

 

I can feel my cheeks hurt from grinning too much from her last message. I was already typing away my reply when someone disturbed me.

 

 

"E-Ehem!"

 

I shot a look from where that distraction is and saw Manager Onni staring at me with a smirk on her face. 

 

"What?" I asked. 

 

"Lisa, where already here." Onni answered the obvious as my eyes widened when I realized we were already parked at the garage. 

 

"What in the world are you grinning for for minutes? Let me see." Onni teasingly tried to snatch my phone from me and I resisted. I quickly hid my phone in my hands, almost embracing it like it's the most important thing I possess. 

 

"Ani! Nothing! Now let me go, I'm already tired and sleepy!" I protested as I swatted her hand away. 

 

"It doesn't seem like it minutes ago."

 

"Aish! Onni!"

 

"Alright, alright! Jeez you're so loud and energetic for someone who's tired."

 

I kept looking at her, eyeing her every movement like she threatened stealing a kid's lollipop up until she opened the door for me. Onni looked at me and chuckled. 

 

"C'mon, I ain't getting any from you sweetheart." Onni said and I flashed her a grin while I hop off the van. 

 

 

[Messages]

​​​Me: Well if those are ONLY for me then I'd say it's pretty much fair enough (Today • 20:46) 

 

 

I've waited minutes for her reply and I was starting to get upset. I finished my dinner and my snacks along with checking my phone from time to time even when it's not on silent. 

 

I lay comfortably in my bed and I was about to rest and sulk until my phone beeped. I opened it quickly and my worries were just swept in air. 

 

[Messages]

Chu: Oh, getting selfish now are we? ;) Sorry, was playing! Why aren't you asleep? (Today • 22:34) 

 

Because I was waiting for you and I wanna say good night, duh. 

 

"W-What?" I loudy questioned myself with that thought as I shoot a glance on the ceiling.

 

"What the hell is wrong with me?" I whispered this time. 

 

...and that was the start of me questioning everything I felt, or feel about Jisoo. 

 

 

~ ~ ~

 

 

When we're together, it feels like time is making me a fool. Everytime our day came to an end,  I always question myself why, why on earth was it so ridiculously fast? 

 

When I'm driving home after we waved our goodbyes, the lonely feeling just seeps through entirely in my being. How could that be? I've been driving alone for years, and those years all I think about was my schedules, my practices, my performances. Manager Onni was always impressed on how I never forget even my minor interviews. Now she have to remind me twice for major events. It's not that I ignore my career, of course I'd always have my focus, but not entirely anymore. 

 

This time, it feels different. Every performance, even practices, feels unscripted. There's more to it. I could say that a huge amount of hardwork is what got me here, but I never thought I could give more, more passion and emotion. 

 

The best part is? I got to tell how my day went to Kim Jisoo. I just feel really excited when we talk, and I like the way she reciprocate the amount of enthusiasm I have, maybe even more. 

 

Our relationship is very strange though. One moment we're bantering over silly things, and then the next thing I knew, we we're commending each other for our good work, even when she just accomplished something dumb, like finally getting a purple-colored lollipop for her patients or getting her dog, Dalgom to balance a milk carton on his body. 

 

It's like we could talk about the most irrelevant stuff and the most fragile ones in one night. It feels safe. I feel safe. Is this how having a friend feels like? Or a best friend, perhaps? 

 

But.. She already have a best friend. So what does that make me then? 

 

The thought made me frown a little. Does that mean I can't be the "best" for Jisoo? 

 

 

~ ~ ~

 

 

The question kept repeating and repeating in my head. I wonder if this is normal for a best friend. Should I ask Chaeyoung? I bet she knows. Wait, if one can't have two best friends, then maybe.. we're sisters! 

 

Yes, yes. That's right. It's the same comfort before with Jennie onni. That's definitely it. 

 

 

"Yah! Hey! Lalisa!"

 

"W-What?" I jolted a bit when Jisoo called out. I didn't realize that I was so lost in my thoughts, right here in Jisoo's clinic. It's one of my occasional check ups that I hardly disagreed before, but now I'm more than willing even if it's everyday. 

 

One more thing that I didn't realize is that Jisoo is closer to my face than expected. She was examining my eyes, and I couldn't look straight. When did she get here on this side? I thought she was sitting over on the other, her desk keeping us apart, and the last thing I could remember was Jisoo being busy reviewing my medical history. 

 

Now, I'm still sitting like a good patient I am and she's standing in front of me, lowering her face to align with mine. 

 

Maybe she noticed that my eyes are wandering to anywhere possible but hers, so she slowly touched my upper cheek with her thumb, stretching it lightly so she could observe my eyes more. 

 

I could feel her touch burn, her watching my eyes intently and being this close to me wasn't helping. My stomach feels like the laundry spinning, I know because I watched that thing for an hour the first time I saw it... or like the feeling of my first audition. Nervous, anxious, and a little dizzy. 

 

"Are you okay? You feel a little hot."

 

Just when I thought it was over, Kim Jisoo here just held my face with both of her hands and her left hand slid to my neck, and the other to my forehead to check further if I'm having a fever. 

 

Little touches were already making me crazy, Jisoo. What makes you think I'm okay? 

 

"I.. I'm-"

 

I can't seem to utter any word, so upon the peak of my panic, I quickly held both of her wrists and put them slightly away from me, just enough distance to remove them, for these burning feelings to stop. 

 

At least I thought it would stop, but it just got extremely worse when we're now having a staring contest. I figured Jisoo got surprised with my sudden action, and no matter how I wanted to look away, I'm magnetized by those beautiful orbs. 

 

She's crazy beautiful. 

 

I gulped when I dangerously almost said that out loud. This is definitely not sisterhood. Nope, she's not a sister. Just no. 

 

Never did I feel this anxious with Jennie onni at close contact, nor the desire for those perfectly-shaped lips to be pressed onto mine. 

 

Crap. I'm staring, I'm undeniably staring at her lips. 

 

Unconsciously, I slowly dampened my lips because it started to get dry and a part of it was to prevent myself from doing what I want to do right now. 

 

Suprised at my own action, I quickly shifted my gaze to her eyes. Why the hell can't I look away? ​​​​​But to my suprise ​​(again), Jisoo was staring at my lips. Was it because of what I did? Then why is she still staring? 

 

This urged me to do the most unthinkable thing I thought I would never do. I am now slowly pulling Jisoo closer, still holding her wrists. 

 

Like testing the waters, I observe her more intently this time. There's no sign of reluctance, no doubts, even for me. 

 

I took that as a cue, like it was something that I was so sure of. I am a very indicisive person that couldn't decide especially on on-the-spot situations. But this, there were definitely no doubts. 

 

I want to kiss her. 

 

I kept pulling her still, very slowly until I returned her hands to were it should be: cupping my face. 

 

And without warning, I parted my lips a little before closing our gap. 

 

I caught those lips as they caught mine. In no time, Jisoo parted her lips as well as her sweetest response. 

 

The way our kiss was so gently moving, my heart won't stop pounding like crazy. This feels crazy and the most amazing feeling at the same time. 

 

 

*Ring!*

 

 

​​​​​​Like both of us lost in a trance, we parted at the same time and I couldn't stop cursing that damn phone. 

 

Jisoo answers either way. She just kept saying "yes, okay" while she holds her head and grabbing her hair. I only notice now how y that was. Does she answer like this when we're talking on the phone? 

 

From hearing Jisoo's answers, I can feel that the call will end already. Then what? Should we continue where we left off? Oh my god, that's so embarrassing! 

 

I started to get so anxious that I'm fidgeting. I'm tapping my foot and playing with my fingers as I watched her back. What the hell did I just do? 

 

You stupid Lalisa! 

 

She probably responded because it feels awkward to reject me. 

 

! 

 

And now, she's probably making the call longer on purpose because she's waiting for me to leave and reflect on my stupid actions. 

 

She's saying goodbye now to the other line. 

 

Leave! 

 

I'm grabbing the armchair to help me lift myself up but it's the first time my body feels so heavy. 

 

She just removed her phone from her ear and is now turning her body to face me. 

 

Just leave, Manoban! 

 

"Lisa-"

 

"I!" I cut her off upon the mention of my name, along with standing up straight that I wasn't able to force myself to do just seconds ago. 

 

"I-I h-have to go now! Bye Doctor Kim!" I said as I ran for my dear life. 

 

I didn't look at her reaction nor hear anything from her. I just ran off and closed the clinic door. 

 

Successfully, I reached the parking lot in minutes.

 

But...realization hit me hard. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bye?

 

 

Doctor?

 

 

Kim? 

 

 

 

 

 

. 

 

 

 

 

 

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Hi! It feels like I came back from the dead. Lol jk

Sorry for the super late update :(

I hope you guys enjoyed it. 

 

Tell me your thoughts?

 

Bye~

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