The weeks flew by and before they knew it, Sooyoung and Sungjae were done with their exams and were waiting for the holidays to start. With their final exams behind them, they had more time to visit Minjae and the others and both of them went down to the orphanage at least thrice a week. During this period, Sungjae racked his brains contemplating how he should confess his feelings to Sooyoung. Changsub saw his frustration and talked to him about it over dinner one day.

 

“Sungjae-ah, when are you planning to tell Sooyoung how you feel towards her?” asked Changsub.

 

“I don’t know. I’ve been trying to find a good time but no occasion ever seems appropriate,” said Sungjae.

 

“Are you just avoiding the issue?” asked Changsub suspiciously. “Do you just wanna stay the way you are now with her?”

 

“What?” replied an aghast Sungjae. “No, of course not! I really do want her to be with me for good.”

 

“Then what are you still waiting for? You know you would go to the end of the world for her. TELL HER!” scolded Changsub.

 

Sungjae flinched a little and went back to eating his jjajangmyun. Changsub-hyung is right. I need to tell her soon.

 

…

 

That night, Sungjae lay on his bed and picked up his phone. Texting Sooyoung had become second nature to him in the past few months but now, even opening the chat he had with her took a herculean effort.

 

SJ: Hey baby girl, you wanna have dinner together tomorrow?

 

Sungjae put his phone down, almost wishing that Sooyoung wouldn’t reply. But barely a minute passed before his phone beeped.

 

SY: Sure! Where do you want to eat?

 

SJ: How about you come over to my place and I’ll whip up dinner? My family is away this week, so I can do whatever I want, as long as I don’t burn down the house.

 

SY: Seriously? I don’t want to have diarrhoea the next day, oppa.

 

SJ: Yah! Have some confidence in my cooking skills! I might surprise you.

 

SY: Oh, I think you will, Yook Sungjae-ssi. I just hope it’ll be a pleasant one. =p

 

SJ: Aigoo, baby girl. Since when did you become so good at burns? Fine, I’ll show you my cooking prowess tomorrow.

 

SY: All right, sure. What time should I arrive tomorrow?

 

SJ: How about 7pm? I should be ready by then.

 

SY: Do you want me to come earlier to help you with the cooking?

 

SJ: No, it’s fine. I’ll manage fine. Just come with an empty stomach and be prepared to be amazed.

 

SY: Haha, arasso. I’ll be there at 7pm tomorrow then. Goodnight, oppa.

 

SJ: Goodnight, baby girl :)

 

…

 

The next day, Sungjae started preparing for dinner at 5pm. With all the fresh groceries he had bought, he started marinating, chopping, stewing and steaming all that he had in mind. As he was cooking, he kept going over and over what he planned to say to Sooyoung.

 

Baby girl, will you accept me? Or will this mark the end of our friendship?

 

As Sungjae picked up the ladle to scoop out a portion of the soup to taste, a blinding pain cleaved through his head. It was so bad that it caused Sungjae to drop the ladle and clutch his head. He yelped and sank to the floor, his eyes watering. Sungjae leant against the wall and blinked away his tears. However, the pain did not let up. Sungjae dragged himself up and reached for the painkillers he had bought for himself recently. He popped two of them and sat himself down to rest for a while. After a few minutes, the pain receded and Sungjae stood up unsteadily. Thankfully, the soup had not been ruined and Sungjae proceed to finish his cooking.

 

Sungjae put the finishing touches to his handiwork and admired it for a few moments. The clock showed 6.58pm when Sungjae heard the doorbell ring. Sungjae took a quick glance in the mirror to make sure his face showed no sign of the little episode that had happened while he was cooking, before opening the door.

 

“Hey baby girl!” greeted Sungjae brightly.

 

“Hey oppa! Oh, something smells good!” gushed Sooyoung, as she walked over to the dining table where everything had been laid out.

 

“Haha, glad you like it,” replied Sungjae.

 

“Who said I liked it? I haven’t tasted it yet,” teased Sooyoung, as her eyes widened at the sight of the dining table. “Omo! Did you think our four kids were coming for dinner as well? It looks like you cooked for the whole orphanage.”

 

“Oh, I just wanted you to try a little of everything I can cook,” laughed Sungjae. “Come on, let’s start. I’m famished.”

 

The pair tucked into their meal hungrily with animated conversation. Despite the overwhelming amount of food that Sungjae had prepared, the pair managed it quite easily. While Sungjae enjoyed the conversation that he was having with Sooyoung, he was still mentally preparing himself for what he really wanted to tell Sooyoung before the evening ended. Before they knew it, the clock struck half past nine.

 

“Omo, it’s already so late. I’d better wash up,” said Sungjae.

 

“Let me help. I feel really bad that you did all that cooking by yourself,” said Sooyoung.

 

“No, it’s all right. I can do it by myself,” replied Sungjae.

 

“No, oppa. In fact, I want to do the washing up alone. You’ve done enough for today,” insisted Sooyoung.

 

“But it’s getting late and…” Sungjae started to protest but caught the look in Sooyoung’s eyes and gave in.

 

Sungjae went to the living room to wait for Sooyoung to finish. Once again, he started to go over what he wanted to say, worried that he might say it wrongly or incompletely.

 

“Hey oppa, I’m done,” called Sooyoung, stirring Sungjae out of his own thoughts.

 

“Oh okay. Erm… Baby girl, could you come over for a while before you leave? I need to tell you something,” said Sungjae nervously.

 

“Oh sure,” Sooyoung wiped her hands dry before walking over to sit next to Sungjae.

 

“Baby girl,” began Sungjae. “Actually… I… I…”

 

“You what, oppa?” asked Sooyoung.

 

“Baby girl, I… I love you,” said Sungjae in a rush, as he reached out to hold Sooyoung’s hand. “I realised I have since our picnic with the kids. The past few months with you have been nothing but amazing. I don’t know if you feel the same way but I really want you to know that you’ve become the world to me. The struggles we went through together for the kids, the joys that we experienced, especially with Minjae. They’ve all helped me realise how much you mean to me. I really can’t live without you. Baby girl, will you be my girlfriend?”

 

Sooyoung’s mind reeled as she listened to Sungjae’s words. Had she been that blind to Sungjae’s feelings? Did she feel the same way? She recalled the various things that had happened over the past few months, as she looked into Sungjae’s eyes.

 

“Oppa, I… I…” Sooyoung mumbled, as she pulled her hand out of Sungjae’s grip. “Oppa, I’m… I’m sorry. I… I can’t accept your feelings.”

 

A small part in Sungjae’s heart died and wrenched at him as Sooyoung’s words sank in. Sungjae fought hard to keep his voice steady, as he replied, “Could you… could you tell me why?”

 

“I… I just can’t, oppa. I’m sorry. It’s late. I should get going,” Sooyoung said before getting up.

 

“Can I send you home?” pleaded Sungjae.

 

“No, it’s all right. I’ll be all right alone,” replied Sooyoung, as if to say I need to be alone.

 

Sungjae did not attempt to hold her back. As Sooyoung walked out of his house, Sungjae curled up on the couch and cried himself to sleep.

 

…

 

Sungjae tried to text Sooyoung a few days after his confession but she never replied. Once, he overheard Seulgi and Joohyun saying that Sooyoung had started dating Dohwan, a boy from his neighbouring class.

 

That’s why she rejected me. She already had someone else in mind.

 

On their last day of school for that term, Sungjae saw Sooyoung walking out of school and ran up to talk to her.

 

“Sooyoung-ah!” called Sungjae.

 

Sooyoung turned to see Sungjae running up to her and stopped in her tracks.

 

“Wae, oppa?” asked Sooyoung.

 

Though Sungjae was grateful that Sooyoung was willing to talk to him, he was at a loss of what to say.

 

“Sooyoung-ah, I… I just wanted to say…” began Sungjae hesitantly.

 

“Sooyoung-ah!” called a voice behind Sungjae.

 

Sungjae turned to see Dohwan striding over towards them. Sooyoung extended her arm and linked it through Dohwan’s arm.

 

“Mianhe, oppa. Dohwan-oppa and I are going out for lunch. See you around again soon,” replied Sooyoung with a small smile.

 

Dohwan smiled a little awkwardly at Sungjae before he and Sooyoung headed off. Sungjae felt the same wrenching feeling in his heart and gut, as he watched the pair walk off.

 

Sungjae started asking his friend, Jingoo, who worked part-time at a convenience store to sneak some alcohol for him on a regular basis and tried drinking himself to death at the park near his house. These episodes would always end with Changsub arriving at the park and dragging Sungjae home. Once, Sungjae passed out completely and Changsub had to get Hyunsik over to help carry Sungjae home. After a week of such episodes, Changsub decided enough was enough.

 

“Yook Sungjae! What’s the point of you drinking yourself beyond the point of recognition? That’s not going to get Sooyoung back! Get a grip!” shouted Changsub.

 

Sungjae did not appear to have heard and tried to down another can. Changsub caught his hand before he could do it and forced him to put it down.

 

“Yah! Stop interfering with my matters!” shouted Sungjae. “I didn’t ask for you to be here!”

 

Changsub ignored him and held the can away from Sungjae. In frustration, Sungjae threw a punch at Changsub and knocked him to the floor.

 

“Yook Sungjae!” shouted Changsub. “Fine! If that’s how you want to be, then so be it!”

 

Seething in rage, Changsub strode off, leaving Sungjae to continue drowning his troubles in alcohol.

 

…

 

Minjae was waiting eagerly at the gate of the orphanage, as Sooyoung has promised him that she would be visiting today. Seeing a male and female figure in the distance, Minjae waved excitedly and shouted, “Eomma! Appa!” However, as the two figures approached, Minjae saw that Sooyoung was accompanied not by Sungjae but someone he did not recognise.

 

“Minjae-ah!” called Sooyoung brightly, as she