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That night's party was the same as any other parties he had been to; full with booze and people smoking suspicious stuff. It was always a sight seeing people got drunk and high and doing unappropriate things out front for people to see but those other people weren't in their right mind too so they really couldn't care less about who is doing what.

He came just for the fun, and maybve get drunk a little. He tried those rolled-up cigarettes once just for the heck of it but those seniors should have given him a weak one instead. The one they made him try was too strong and he decided he will never touch that thing ever again. Plus, if his parents found out, he would be kicked out of the house right that instant.

Luhan that was the one invited him to the party was nowhere to be found and he had finished his third bottle of beer. The senior that threw the party was a considerate one; he knew people would be too wasted to open the caps so he already opened all of the drinks beforehand. He went to one of the many rooms inside the mansion and called Luhan with his cloudy head. The fifth call still didn't get through and he threw himself on the bed.

Dry throat woke him up and the sight of a male next to him on the ned sobered his senses. The troubled look on the other didn't answer his question and he put on his clothes. The aftermath of last night was all over his way towards the front door and the identity of the male clicked in his mind as he being drove away by his father's driver.

He wished he could tell Minseok the reason of himm moving out but he didn't want to lie to his best friend. It was better with him thinking it's because of the drug rumor that his father tried so hard to bury it down instead of telling him he slept with another person when he already have Bella. He would saw the male when he couldn't say no when being invited to his friends' special days and the way the other stayed on the other side of the room away from him was a gratitude he will never show.

Two years felt like an eternity and Canada was the best thing that happened in his life. New environment and work filled his being, making what happened at a party at some mansion a few years back was just a bad dream and him being hid away at Grace's parents' house while everything being cleared out was actually a vacation he was forced to take.

A pretty invitation came in a white envelope and he couldn't be happier for the two people. Luhan had bribed him with so much stuff for him to say nice things about him to Minseok and asking him everything there is to know about his best friend. The day Minseok told him he's dating Luhan was the day he got a deep bow of gratitute from the Chinese male, being called 'Your Highness' for the entire week when Minseok wasn't with them.

The flight got delayed and the booked hotel couldn't accept him and he never felt so guilty when Minseok genuinely glad he could make it to the after party, finally accepting his offer of him buying anything he wants after his nonstop apology. He didn't know where Grace had wandered off and didn't care where Luhan had gone to and was so happy he got to talk with his best friend after a long time.

Grace's voice reached his ears and he was sure they were mirroring each other's expression as drunk Luhan being passed to Minseok. The memory of the incident came back to him in a nightmare and Bella's presence first thing in the next morning made him think the nightmare would never end. Living with her was a new experience and he got a scoff when he blurted if they would sleep in separate bedrooms like this after marriage. Returning hom straight after work would lessen his interaction with the outside world but the world somehow rang his doorbell and invited itself into his life.

The helper from the club. The dessert shop owner. The rookie model. Everything and everyone would end up having some connection with the male and he didn't understand why it happened when all he wanted was having nothing to do with the other. If it's a karma for what he had done, couldn't it come in a different form like cripple him for life or something similar? It is because it would be so much better for him and karma is meant for punishing the sinner?

He acted like nothing happened but he couldn't deny that tiny part deep inside his conscience that keep nagging about how guilty he was and for two whole years he lived with the fact that he slept with a man when he supposed to marry a woman. He is going to marry the said woman in a few months and marrying someone he doesn't have a feeling for is another form of karma and two retributions for one mistake should suffice enough.

'Nothing happened that night.' He was . A blanked covered the other's body but the exposed bare shoulder and chest could only mean one thing and putting two and two together isn't rocket science. How can there be 'nothing happened'? Lying about something happened when nothing happened would get one a compensation in various forms. What would one get lying about nothing happened when 'something happened' was already planted and grew and the vines wouldn't let go?

He look happy, they said. Luhan and Minseok when they went for a movie days after the bachelor party. The little sister and the owner when he went to pick up and order. That should be enough if other people buying it because he is trying. Bella and Grace didn't say anything but one is rooting and one is judging.

Was 'being happy' always been so hard? Is that why he doesn't do it anymore? That 'happiness' he felt when his two best friends got married was so light; he couldn't stop smiling from the moment he finally saw Minseok in his suits. Was it because it was a one-time thing comparing with the now two-week since he made that promise? 'Nothing happened' should be the more reason for him to be happy but why he felt like every ounce of his energy being out the moment Bella closed the door and left to celebrate her bachelorette party with her friends a few hours ago?

Empty house made him feel stuffed and late dinner made him walk without a destination. The night breeze is biting his uncoved arms but his feet are bringing him to the opposite direction of his car and the old-feeling neighborhood he is entering looks very familiar. His mind is asking why he keeps walking towards that one direction and his heart is answering because he needs some answers.

A figure is squating under a dim street light and his heart is thumping loudly as his feet approach closer. Small pair of hands are covering the face and he grabs one one of the elbow gently, pulling the figure up to his feet and revealing such familiar face that is scrunching in pain before a suprise expression buries it over.

"Wha... What are you doing here?"

'What are 'you' doing here? You are supposed to be on holiday with your ittle sister and your father. Your sister said today is the day you three will be going to the beach. Why are you still here?'

Small fingers are rubbing the spot right above the eyebrow and the band-aid on the smallest finger doesn't go unnoticed. The one from helping with the cooking two days ago. He looks down and white cloth is still wrapped around the left ankle. Tripped on a stone walkway at the mall last weekend.

He gazes back at the small face. The little sister sounded so worried as she told Bella everything. How the smile is there but it's not like before. How acting like usual when small mistakes kept being made. How being admitted to the hospital didn't cure everything.

Forehead creases as worry eyes focus on the palm, mouth blowing air at the heel. He takes the small hand in his, turning it over towards his direction and pursing his lips at the sight. Red of blood from several scratches contrasing so much with the pale skin and he meets with the confuse face.

Is this how the little sister felt when the small finger was cut? Is this feeling the same with the father when he looked at the sprained leg? Bella poked a finger while sewing, injured another while cutting. Why the feeling back then isn't the same as right now?

He takes the three middle fingers, holding them gently as careful not touching the bruised spot of the palm and pulls ther other to walk. A twenty-four hour mini mart was right around the corner and his heart is still demanding answers.

He nods at the worker's greeting as he steps inside and cranes his neck, looking over the place and letting go of the small hand when he spots a row of medication on the top shelf at the back of the shop. He stares at the variety of first-aids for a moment before picking up the square-shaped band-aid and the highly-priced ointment cream. He passes the drink section and takes a bottle of water, eyes catching a familiar drink inside the cooler before taking a bottle of it as well. No one is standing in front of the cashier counter and his breath hitches for a second before a crown of head by the glass winder enters his view.

A soft voice thanking the worker breaks the night's silence and he heads towards a stone bench outside the mart. The street light is several steps away but it is bright enough for him to see the other that has taken a seat at the other end, eyes focusing on the plastic bag between the two of them.

He takes out the bottled water and holds out his left hand towards the other, meeting their gaze. A small hand lands on his palm and he rinses the scraped spot with water, the scrunched face whinching at the sting doesn't go unnoticed as he blows on the bruise to dry it.

"Have you eaten?"

He glances up as he uncaps the ointment cream. He wants to just nod for an answer but those eyes shows that won't be enough. He squeezes a small amount of cream on his finger and gently spreads it across the cut. "I have. You?"

"Me too but I got hungry and went to buy a late snack but the auntie selling the friend chicken is closed today. Maybe I should buy something at the mini mart."

He blows at the ointment-covered heel of the palm and pulls out one sheet of the square band-aid. He peels off the protective cover and inches closer, holding the small hand in his while putting the band-aid on top of the scrape with another. He stares at the pale palm, thumbs smoothing the creases on the patch so that it won't come off. "What happened?"

"Hm? What do you mean?"

He lifts his head and soft eyes are looking at him with such warmness. Maybe because he had been trying to avoid looking at them but this is the first time he sees that kind of look on him. A face that Minseok makes whenever Luhan talks with him. "What happened back there."

"Ah, that. I knocked on the street light and fell down on my hand."

An embarass smile appears and he glances down at the hand that is still in his hold, realizing how small it is comparing to his own. His thumb caresses across the pale skin, tracing the lines on it gently. He should let go of this hand, shouldn't he?

"Sophia would be so upset when she finds out tomorrow."

The little sister's name makes the question he was asked and wanted to ask come back to him and he looks straight at the other. "You weren't supposed to be here." An eyebrow being raised at him and breathes out, collecting his thoughts. "The beach."

"Oh, I still have an exam tomorrow and will be going there right after that. The schedule was changed at the last minute so I told them to go first."

He nods slightly before following the hand that was lifted from his hold and watches the pale fingers rubbing a spot on the small forehead, a bump that had formed from what happened earlier. He pickes up the abandoned cream and squeezes some like before, pushing the fingers away and lathers the bump with it. A giggle reaches his ears as he finishes and he caps back the ointment tube, putting it inside the plastic bag and takes out the other drink that hs been sitting there. He hands the male the bottle and the pair of eyes lit up.

"Oh! You bought this?"

He watches as the flavored tea being opened before the male takes a small sip, a smile across his face.

"What about you?"

He frowns at the sudden question as the male puts down the bottle.

"What are you doing here?"

He freezes, heart thumping loudly that it is deafening him. He stares at the male that is waiting for his answer, an answer that he isn't sure himself. He was looking for answer himself too but he doesn't know what kind of question he should be asking.

"Do you want to have a taste?"

He looks down at the offered drink and watches the male take another sip after he left the offer unanswered. It has been unusual from the beginning with the male saying nothing when he took him away to the mini mart until this very moment. A moment he doesn't know how to describe but knows how to react to it. "Maybe... I'll have a taste..."

He leans his body closer as the male brings the bottle down, eyes staring at him with a puzzled expression and he touches the moist lips with his own, the taste of tea and peach fills his senses. The drink doesn't have any alcohol in it so why is he feeling so intoxicated? He doesn't even have a sip, just remnants of what is left on the lower lip as he draws it in between the small opening of his mouth.

He pulls away a second later, staying a breath away from the pink lips as he glances up, meeting with the other's eyes that are staring at him with anticipation. He is marrying Bella in a couple of months. He is not 'this'.

"Hm?"

"I am not, right?"

"You are not, for the better of us."

He doesn't know if his mind was being read, or he actually said it out loud but he is contented with the answer. He is not. Hot breath lingers between the tiny gap and he gazes deeply inside those black orbs. A spark flashes and he watches as the orbs slowly being covered by the eyelids as he leans in, closing the gap again until his lips feel the other's soft ones.

An unfamiliar but enthralling scent fills his being as he breathes in, head titled slightly as he presses his mouth against the other's a bit firmly. He parts his lips a little, trapping the other's upper lip between it for a moment before letting it go. He breaks away only to tilt his head towards the opposite side and recaptures those blushed lips in a heartbeat, continuing as he glides his own pair across the small mouth gently, repeatedly.

The softness of the lips is the same as the kisses he had with Bella that night were more intense but why instead that these lazy, effortless ones are the one making him light-headed, his breath hitches and his heart swells, when those feelings should only appear when he is with Bella, because he is 'not'?

Large hand spreads across the small of his back, holding him gently and supporting him from falling backwards, or keeping him close. He isn't sure which; his upper body keeps teerer-tottering as the other teasing his lips with his own. He doesn't chase when they are away nor he avoid when they are coming.

It is because doing either doesn't look good no matter how it being viewed. Leaning forward when the other breathing him in is hinting that he wants him, which he does, but the other is 'not' and is marrying the beautiful lady in a few months. Pulling backward when the other is trying to catch his breath is signaling that this has to stop, which it should, but he just made terms with himself and he doesn't want to lie about his feelings anymore.

Long lashes brush against his cheek, his upper lip being drawn between the small opening of those plush lips for a moment before the lower one gets a turn seconds later. A quick peck finds its way and he holds in his smile, because it has a meaning too, before his lips being pressed fully and firmly by the other's. He tries not to open his eyes and looks as they stay like that for more than a second, because he doesn't want the other to question himself more than he already did, and just basking it in when the plush lips move again, kissing his upper lip and tugging slightly at his lower one before slowly breaking them away, treating it as the last of it, ever.

A full head of hair falls on his shoulder and he lets the owner take his time. He smiles at the musky cologne that enter his nose as breathes; he wonders what brand it is and if he should ask the other about it. A soft sigh reaches his ears and he loosens his grip on the drink he has been holding all these time, the hand that doesn't attached to an occupied shoulder and gazes down at the crushed plastic bag between their thighs. The cuts on the heel of his palm probably got worsen after all that bottle squeezing he unconsciously did earlier.

He can feel the other's breathing finally matching with his and his shoulder slowly being lifted from a physical weight; too bad the emotional one is still there, before he is met with a pair of eyes that he can't tell what is happening behind it. He stares deeper, trying to find anything that he can help with but the owner turns away, his expression telling him that there is nothing he can do, because there is no problem, because he is 'not'.

He searches for the bottle cap and sees it has fallen near the other's feet. He stretches over to retrieve it but long fingers beat him to it and he accepts it gladly, capping the bottle of peach oolong tea that is still has more than half left. He packs everything and puts them inside the bag, looking at the other while holding it and nods when the other shakes his head, telling him he should be the one taking it home.

"We... should go..."

He nods, following the other that has risen on his feet. He looks up, liking the way their heights mismatched unlike when he is with Joss. Baekhyun's neck must be cramping all the time. "You should go ahead. I'm going to buy something first." The round eyes are staring at him unblinking before a breath being let out.

"I can wait."

The answer makes his heart swell but he can only show his appreciation with a small smile. The other might have guessed how he feels about him when he just sit there receiving kisses from him and say nothing afterwards but that time has passed and he is back to reality. He should act like before because it is the right thing to do.

He steps into the mart and smiles at the familiar face behind the cash register that is welcoming him in. He wonders if the staff ever went out to sort out the garbage or just to have a breather because the male would definitely see everything if he did; they sat facing the shop's side and the surrounding wasn't that bright but they were close enough for anyone standing by the entrance to be able to figure out what was going on. He could never come to this mart again.

He heads towards the rack of magazines, picking out the one he was reading earlier and walks down the aisle, head turning right and left as he scans what to buy. A pack of new flavored chips catches his eyes and he takes it out to look closely; wasabi seaweed sounds spicy and he doesn't even like wasabi but maybe the seaweed will make it bearable.

He moves to the cooler, wondering if there is any other new drinks he could try before glancing to his side where the other is standing, eyes looking down at the variety of drinks. It was a few weeks ago when he first had that tea and he honestly forgot about it until tonight. Did he leave a big impression that night for the other to remember how much he enjoyed the drink? Or he bought it because it will definitely make him happy?

He watches as the other walks away and takes a bottle of drink before quickly heads toward the cashier, finishing paying for everything as the other reaches to the counter. A whisper of compliment on how handsome his boyfriend is makes him flinch but he couldn't correct the staff with the said 'boyfriend' standing behinf him and can only give an awkward smile as they leave the mart.

"What time do you leave tomorrow?"

He glances up from looking at his wrapped leg to the other that is walking next to him. There is no one beside them and even with the few cars parked on the sides, the road is wide enough for them to even dancing around but their shoulders are practically glued together and the brushes of their hands had against one another made him want to just grab it and hold it tight but that is why he changed hand holding the two plastic bags.

He breathes out. "Around noon. The exam ends at eleven but... maybe I should just go straight from the uni. I need to confirm with Chanyeol back."

"He... will be driving you there?"

"There where? The beach?" He sees a small nod and shakes his head. "No, just to the train station. It is quicker that hopping buses. He planned to go back home today too but then my exam changed and said he doesn't mind waiting for me." He sees plush lips pursed into a thin line and feels the need to clear the air. "We don't like each other like that."

The thin line disappears but no smile replacing it. The street light where everything had started tonight comes into view and he glances to his side again, noticing how the other has his sight fixed on the same spot. It is just right to end where it started and he stops right underneath it, standing inside the circle of light formed on the sidewalk before watching the other doing the same and stand in front of him. It feels like another world.

"Joss..."

His eyes widen at the unexpected name before his brows frown wondering why it being mentioned.

"He's dating that small guy..."

He nods. "Baekhyun."

"...not cheating on you."

He blinks at the last words. The other thought he and Joss were dating? How did the male even come up with the idea? He was suprised when he found out about the one that hired Baekhyun when Joss told him about what happened at the studio but he can't imagine anyone would think he and Joss are dating when the taller and Baekhyun were always being so lovey-dovey whenever they all went out together. It was obvious he being the third wheel but he kept agreeing to the invitation because it was fun.

He stares at the other that has never moved his eyes from him. They both know the reason why the other is acting like this but they also know why it can't be said out loud. He rummages inside the plastic bag and takes out the bottled coffee that he bought, holding it out in front of the other. "I like this one too."

The drink changes hands and he breathes out. It is getting late and he still has some reading to do. It's the reason why he wanted a snack but not only the fried chicken stall is closed, he knocked on a light post and scraped his hand. Now he has to read double as much since some of the information probably fell out after that bump. "I should..."

"How..."

His brows raise at the incomplete question and he waits for the next words, but the round eyes just keep staring at him with lips not moving. He smiles softly, admiring the handsome face as he stares back into those black orbs, somehow have a few ideas what question he is being asked about.

'How it happened?' He doesn't know either. The feeling wasn't supposed to even exist considering the past that they had but it did anyway. 'How long?' He isn't sure either. It felt like it has been forever when he realized it before finally admitting to it.

"You know how some people are willing to die for their loved ones because they love them so much?" He breathes in. It is the only 'how' he knows the answer to but it still puzzles him when did it become that deep because that means he is done for and there is nothing he can do about it. "A bit more than that."

He lets out a silent chuckle, fully understand the unbelievable expression on the other's face as he turns around and starts to walk away. He himself is still trying to figure out how everything ends up like this but if the other somehow has found out answer, he hopes the male would tell him and he would be very thankful for it.

"What if!"

The voice isn't that loud but it is enough to stop his feet from taking any step further and making him turn around, to see the other standing firmly at his spot inside the circle of light, round eyes staring straight at him. He can see fisted hands at each side; the drink in one of them being clenched tightly, trembling a little. He purses his lips, knowing too well he can't take the courage of saying such simple words lightly. He walks back to that circle of light, stopping just right outside of it and meeting their gaze.

"What if... I am...?"

He breathes out, lips turning into a small smile and he steps inside the circle, standing right in front of the other, the tips of his sandals almost touching the white sneakers. He takes the free quivering hand with his own free one, holding it gently as the long fingers stop digging into its palm and slowly enveloping his small ones. It really feels like another world under this old street light with the night is getting deeper and not a single soul around them.

He locks their gaze as he brings their clutched hands up, pressing them against his cheek and basking at the warmth that is heating his face. His eyes never moved from the other's as he lets the time pass before bringing their hands back down, letting the other's go and turns around, leaving the 'other world' without saying a word.

Everything will be fine because it was a hypothetical situation that would never happen because the wedding is in a few months. He was really glad when Sophia described how the other has changed and how happy the beautiful lady looked whenever the coupld visited the shop. It is the reason why he told the other about that one detail in the first place anyway.

The tiredness he felt the morning after the bachelor party didn't go away even after a twelve-hour of resting and he didn't know where the cold come from when the weather was fine throughout the week but apparently his body thought adding study for the exams was too much and decided to rest abruptly in the hallway. Thank goodness Chanyeol was there to catch him or it could have been worse.

He thought he had hid it well but the listless he felt was splayed all over his small being and the way he kept bumping into things and tripping over nothing didn't help either. His father literally banned him from the kitchen after he cut his finger for the second time that night.

Telling the secret was supposed to get rid of the guilt of keeping such important detail to himself but although they were both victims of circumstances, him didn't tell the other what didn't happened that night after finding out the truht played a big part in ruining the other's love life, and for that, he has to pay for it. He should have met him right after his visit to the hospital and tell him about the result but somehow the thought got buried under the promise they made and he never said anything about it.

Many times he had felt sorry at the beautiful lady as she has to live with a one-sided love with the person of interest right by her side. Fate probably thought that wasn't enough and decided he should experience the same thing too and made him fall in love with someone he couldn't be with but it forgot to count in the two-years of emptiness he had and didn't see this coming; that he is fine loving someone he can't have.

He just got his father and Sophia back; his heart is still full with happiness from what happened almost seven months ago and this unrequited love that got thrown in it only have that feeling to feed on, making him this weird person that is satisfied just with finally acknowledging he is actually in love with the other, very deep at that. Thinking back, the question for 'how long' might be 'that night of the fashion show'. Joss' words must be the Sun that shone off the clouds shading his heart, shining on the well-fed feeling and making it proud of what it is.

He usually went out around that time to eat when he saw two familiar figures standing on the side of the road and his heart dropped when his used-to-be cute sister that has transformed into a pretty lady came closer and hugged him, with his father just watched from behind her. He had imagined when the day would come and he would be talking nonstop to catch up on everything but the meal they had only consist of small conversations but his heart felt like it going to explode anytime.

It's totally the opposite when Jirayu found him squating down beside the giant flower pot in front of the club, a little suprised after seeing his swollen eyes, big and red from crying his heart out. The older brought him inside and seated him at the bar. The male asked and he told; it's the same story that his two juniors heard but talking about it to a stranger felt different. A warm hug as his back being up and down melted his body and he nods when being told to come if he needs someone to talk to.

Two years was a long time but he would trade that in a blink over the month after the party. The constant helps Baekhyun and Chanyeol offered were declined with a forced smile. They were really worried about him but even he couldn't do anything about it and he would just wasting the youngers' time trying to find a solution to such problem. It was enough when Baekhyun brought him something to eat and Chanyeol let him borrow his bed. They were only freshmen that were still trying to adjust the campus life themselves but they still managed to look out for him.

The neighborhood was small; almost everyone knows everyone and he had wondered one time why it took the news several days to travel before reaching his mother when sensitive stuff like that is one of the hot topics the women on the area like to talk about. His mother was strict but she never repremand him and Sophia to the extent of them harboring any hatred towards her. That was why he couldn't react when she burst into his room in the middle of the night, stuffing a bag with his clothes before dragging him out of the house.

Bare feet glued to the aspalt road, bag and favorite shoes lying around it as he stood frozen on the street, mind trying to process what is happening. His father was holding his mother by the arms, preventing her from coming towards him. His mother's loving eyes were nowhere to be found, being replaced by a rage ones that he had never seen, mouth saying the harshest words he had ever heard. His sister's voice kept calling for him as he walked away before it stopped, their mother's hand yanking the small wrist and pulled her back inside the house.

A rough shake on his body was what woke him up as he blinked the sleepiness from his groggy eyes before they widened at a sight of bare-chested male looking at him, eyes sharp staring at him. A trail of his clothes could be seen around the bed and he could only shake his head when being asked about what actually happened, mouth tightly shut as he's afraid of saying the wrong thing. He nodded nervously when being told not to speak of the incident to anyone before the bedroom door being slammed shut and he was left alone with his thoughts.

He had noticed how every drink was opened and how the smoke that was coming from the cigarettes all over the house had a stronger smell than the normal ones and making him so uncomfortable and dizzy. He was being cautious and staying off the alcoholic beverages, filling his cup only with water as he wandered around the house, couldn't fully enjoying the party as it was a bit wild to his liking. Smartphones being raised everywhere and the sound of pictures being taken managed to reach his ears amidst the loud music that being played.

Luhan that was the one brought him to the party had gone to migle with his friends as soon as they stepped inside the mansion and couldn't be reached. His head was getting heavier and the empty cup of water made him remember how weird the water tasted like. His gut told him to stay low and hide, until everything cool down and until Luhan look for him and the slightly ajar door to a room looked like a good place as any.

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