finally... the last one...

ஐ〰ฺ･:*:･✿ฺ ஐ〰･:*:･･:*:･✿ฺ ஐ〰･:*:･･:*:･✿ฺ ஐ〰･:*:･

Jinyoung tears the giftbag open as Yugyeom keeps on singing happy birthday to him, clapping his hands like a seal completely missing every single beat but then again, it's the least of Jinyoung's concerns since he's more than excited to open the gift his dad has sent him. 

Today is Jinyoung's sixth birthday and although his dad is left in Seoul, he still managed to send a gift to his eldest son. Jinyoung is excited. He has been asking for this from his dad for the past whole year. 

"Open it, hyung! Open it now! I want to see it!" and that would be his younger brother, hands gripping on both his shoulders shaking him slightly, alright not slightly, but aggressively. 

And though Jinyoung would very much like to swat his brother's hands away and push him off of his personal space, Jinyoung again focused on his own excitement to see his dad's gift. He again ignored Yugyeom and just tore the wrapper completely and brought out the what's inside it.

"This is not it." Jinyoung said with a glum voice, which he's sure matches his glum face. His eyes stayed glued on the small gameboy which was inside the bag he just tore open a few seconds ago. 

"Well, honey..." He heard his mom trail off, reaching to take the gameboy to put in her hands. "What do you mean it's not it? This is what you asked for from your dad, right?"

"No." He answered quickly, his shoulders already dropped. "This is not it, mom."

What he asked for is a Game boy Advance but what his dad gave him is an older model. This is not what he asked for, tirelessly asked for a whole year. No, not this one. What would his friends say if they saw him playing with this when he clearly said that he'll also be having the latest model? 

"It's still nice." He heard his brother said in a small voice, which made him turn. With a disappointed face, he told Yugyeom, "Then you have it."

"Wait there, son." His mom called on him when he was about to leave the dining room where his mom's special cooked food were laid on the table. "Your dad really worked hard just to give you this gift."

"But it's not what he promised he would give." Jinyoung said in a bland voice. "If he can't keep his promise, why did he make one?"

Jinyoung found himself walking along the pathway of the nearby park. It's where he usually goes to, and play with Yugyeom and some of his friends. There's this play ground where his favorite swing is- a huge rubber tire hoisted in a thick rope on a ginkgo tree. Right now, he wants nothing but to sit out there and just kick on the dirt beneath his feet in every swing.

But looks like he won't be able to since there's a boy occupying his favorite spot. 

When he walked closer, he noticed that the boy is just about his height too so he assumes he's the same as his age as well. The boy, whose hair was dark brown, had his back facing him so the latter didn't notice or didn't seem to mind his presence. Until he cleared his throat.

The boy, with seemingly almond-shaped eyes shaded earthy brown, turned his head to look at him. For a moment, Jinyoung forgot what he was actuslly going to say as his own eyes locked with the latter's. "Yes?" But the boy's question brought him back to his senses. "May I help you?"

Clearing his throat, Jinyoung answered keeping his chin up and crossing his arms."Actually you may." He then pointed at the rubber tire. "You see this is my special spot, you're sitting on. And I would very much like you to get off of it and let me sit on it because I am very much in need of some alone time right now."

He expected for the boy to get off as he has asked but instead, the boy just continued to swing. "Why is this spot special?"

Although a bit annoyed, Jinyoung still answered. "Because it's the only place where I can be alone whenever I am sad."

"And why do you want to be alone when you're sad?"

Jinyoung starts to wonder why this boy has this much question and is still not getting off the swing. But still, he answered. "Because I don't want anyone to see me when I am sad."

"But isn't it like that? You will need someone to be with you when you're sad. Isn't that supposed to make you feel better? Having someone?"

Jinyoung doesn't know why the boy is telling him these things the boy is telling him. And why is he even listening? Right. So this time, he kept his hands on his waist as he towered over the other boy. "Look, I am feeling sad right now, and I need to be in this swing."

He watched as the boy pursed his lips and made a small shrug. "I am sad too. Should we see who between us is sadder and is in more need to be in this swing, then?"

"Well okay, then. Have you experienced wanting something so much but not being able to have it?" It took a couple of seconds before he heard an answer from the boy. Now he see those eyes reflecting a different emotion. A sadder one.

"Have you ever had something which you really want, be taken away from you and although you can try, you might never have it back?"

Jinyoung doesn't know how it happened but now he's found himself laughing as he felt the cool breeze hitting his face through every push the boy was giving him. He can't remember how they ended up taking turns on riding the swing, and pushing the latter. But now, here they are laughing their lungs out, both completely forgotten what made them sad earlier.

But Jinyoung stopped laughing when he heard the boy who was pushing him a while ago, now coughing. The pushing has stopped and Jinyoung has halted already to check on the boy which he found almost crouching, hands on his chest as if having trouble breathing. 

"Hey, are you alright?" He asked while getting off the swing and standing next to the boy, rubbing his back. "What's happening? You don't look okay." He added when he saw that the boy's face is getting a bit paler. He made him sit on the bench not far away from the swing without removing his hand on his back. The boy kept on taking deep breaths. 

"I-I'm o-okay." But he doesn't seem like it, it Jinyoung's opinion.

"Are you sure? Do you need me to call on someone-" He was stopped when he was about to stand up, by the boy's hand which was gripping on his now. 

"No." His voice sounded small and weak that it only raised his concern. Jinyoung shook his head but the boy just held his hand tight and made him sit beside him again. "J-just.. stay." He heard him. "S-stay here and... hold my hand."

And although he is unsure what better would it do, him holding the boy's hand... Jinyoung still did. Instead of slipping his hand off, he intertwined their fingers and rested his palm on top of the latter's hand. "You'll be okay. I'm here."

Jinyoung's trip down to memory lane was interrupted abruptly when the cab he was riding pulled over to a stop. They have now reached their house. Handing the fare to the driver, Jinyoung got his bag and got off the cab.

He left early from work and called in sick. He has two major operations scheduled today and he knows he can't function well now, when he's not in his right mind.

Mark's leaving for L.A. today... 

. He didn't want to but that alone made him lose it. Jinyoung would like Jackson's assumption to be true- him, not giving any about that news the chinese had just told him but, who is he kidding? The moment he stepped out of the car, his mind have left off to somewhere. He's leaving. Mark is leaving. This is all that was running inside his head.

He was so out of focus that Jaebum had to tug him again into the far end of the hall just to talk to him. In fact, it was Jaebum who suggested that he goes home. Well okay, it's not what Jaebum exactly suggested, rather it was "You better go and talk to Mark, or else you might really regret it, Jinyoung." Jaebum's exact words.

"Oh hyung, you're back early?" 

But he guess, he really is that stubborn. Because instead of heading to the airport and try to talk to Mark and change his mind, he went straight home. Jinyoung just sighed as he took off his shoes before getting inside their house where his brother is still preparing for school. 

"I'm not feeling well. I needed to get home." He heard a short okay from Yugyeom but he just walked past the younger. "I'll be in my room."

Jinyoung headed straight to his room where he changed to his usual clothes and lied on his bed. He had his back facing the door when he heard it open, followed by Yugyeom's voice. "Do you need anything, hyung?"

He heaved a sigh before answering his brother. "Nothing, Yugyeom. I'll be fine here." He said in a low voice. But contrast to what he was expecting and hoping, which was Yugyeom leaving him alone, he felt as the younger sat beside him on his bed. Jinyoung didn't speak just yet and was about to pretend he's sleeping when Yugyeom broke the silence.

"It's that kind of feeling which seemed like nothing could make it better, right?" 

No answer from him.

"But maybe talking to Mark hyung would be a bit of help, don't you think?"

This time, Jinyoung wasn't able to prevent his sigh to come out loudly. Yugyeom might have taken it as a response that's why the younger was back to talking. "You did hear that he's leaving today?" Nothing. "That he's leaving for L.A.?" Still nothing. "And that he'll probably stay there. . . . . for good?"

Jinyoung tried his best to not say anything, but the silence is eating him up alive and he really just want Yugyeom to leave him alone so he talked. "Yeah. And I think that is for the better."

"I was expecting that." Yugyeom's response made him turn and now he's seeing his brother with that kind of look which says disappointed but not surprised. "I was expecting you'll say that, but don't expect for me to buy that, hyung."

Sitting up, Jinyoung hugged his pillow. "Look, Yugyeom-"

"Why did you break up with him?" This again, Jinyoung thought. He was about to answer if not for Yugyeom waving his hand at him as if telling him to stop right before he could even start talking. "Now, don't pull that because everything is wrong card on me, hyung. I seriously don't believe that you actually believe that it's wrong. Not when I saw how genuinely happy Mark hyung had made you feel. How you let yourself be consumed with that kind of love and happiness only Mark hyung was able to give you again. I want to hear your reason, hyung. Not what others say."

Jinyoung could only sigh at this. He doesn't know what to say. But then again, Yugyeom was already talking.

"You might not know this but, I envy you, hyung." What? Yugyeom envies me? Why? "When I realized that I was in love with Youngjae, he wasn't there to listen. And when I realized I was in love with Bambam, he didn't want to be there. He pushed me away, and was terribly scared of owning up to his own feelings. He'd rather made himself and even me believe that he doesn't feel anything for me. Because he got scared, I got hurt." Yugyeom kept his head down and played with the blanket's hem. "He almost ran away, and just left me there feeling broken. Almost. I'm still glad he did change his mind and decided to take a huge leap and just... be with me. Good thing he did."

"What are you trying to say here, Yugyeom?"

"That you are lucky." Yugyeom answered in a beat. "When you fell for Mark hyung, he was there for you, wasn't he? He waited patiently until you got the courage to dive in with him. He waited until you got past your fear of falling again. He waited... and he stayed. And didn't he just fight for you? Against anyone who dare say that what you both have is wrong... wasn't Mark hyung willing to fight? And he's willing to keep on fighting just so you two could stay together-"

"But I can't do the same thing!" Jinyoung wasn't able to stop himself from blurting out. It feels like there's something stuck in his throat and all he wants is to get it all out. "I love him, I love him so much but I can't do what he's brave and strong enough to do. I can't fight for us. If we fight, we would lose something, and I don't want Mark to lose his family because of me. I don't want him to hear anything from those who are