REST.

The Impossible | CLOSED.

I can’t believe this is how I come back and have an “update”. I lay here, its 134 am where I am, and thinking of what just happened, unable to go to sleep. My mind is a mess, my heart is hurting, and my eyes are burning from crying. It all feels unreal, my mind can’t seem to grasp it just yet though Idk if it ever will.. there’s this hole in my heart–  seeming to only grow bigger as I think about it. I want to believe it’s all a hoax, it’s fabricated but with the goosebumps I feel, the news that I’ve read, it all comes down on me and it’s all real. I’m so heartbroken, saddened, angered, and all of the above. My words are all but a jumble of messy thoughts that I have in my head. I don’t really know why I decided to write this but I think this is a way for me to rant, to vent out my feelings instead of holding it in – I’m sorry.

 

Just….it all feels sudden. It all feels abrupt. And I lay here, thinking. Thinking of one of the precious smiles I’ve seen and loved, thinking of the beautiful sweet voice, thinking of how the world….or some people treated her and for all of it to come to this. Thinking of all the laughter.

 

I’m sorry.

 

All I can is im sorry.

 

Im sorry and that I love you so much.

 

R.I.P, sweetest angel.

 

*edit, as you may see, i have decided to mark this as completed and leave it as it is. I don't have the heart to push through anymore and im so sorry. i don't think i'll ever go back to it, it all hurts too much rn. i hope you understand and please take of yourselves. love and appreciate those around you and make sure they're okay. thank you so much. 

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zangsia1 #1
Chapter 28: On a bias point of view, I would love if you can continue to write Minsul specially this one which you have trying to rewrite.

I think if you are to honor Sulli in your writing, I believe we as fans of Sulli would love it because you not only keep her memories alive for us but also honor her as a person, as a human being and for who she is, not as what people wants her to be.

We might not know Sulli personally but we know the Sulli as the little Jinri in her first drama, Ballad of Seodong.

She went to join F(x) and started in To The beautiful You. Yes, she is an actress but I believe there is a part of the role they play that are innate in them for them to be really effective and she was effective in those roles.

Writing is a passion as well as a talent, authornim. I believe writing about Sulli and/or using her as your character would not be in bad taste if you write with your heart and soul in it. I believe that even in people's stories we can hope that she could've a better life, one with happiness, one she did not get in real life. Not that it makes readers delusional but simply wishing also even if only in the stories, Sulli is happy, at peace and would not have felt lonely.

It is not about writing as if nothing happened, authornim. The reality of her passing will always be hanging in our minds, but writing or simply continuing stories you have already had with Sulli in mind I believe continuing would not be in bad taste. But that is an opinion of a fan, though a silent one (regretting that I should have been more vocal as a fan), I love her as her, quirky to some but to me she is the lovable Jinri I keep following.

My tip is to read up on Sulli as much as you can to know her better, maybe even reach out to her family if there is a possibility to contact them. Though I think it is more than to show respect to her family more than anything, I believe it is your right to continue writing about or with Sulli as your character as long as you honor your commitment to the readers and to yourself and to Sulli (even though she is no longer with us).

I believe that Sulli would not mind as you would write from your heart.

Hoping for the best that you can continue to have her living in your stories.
zangsia1 #2
Chapter 27: I feel heartbroken, almost numb too authornim, but I hope in time you will continue the story like I told some of the Minsul authors.

Keeping Sulli in our hearts now that she is gone is also important. AFF stories has helped me from that dark path that people we like or admire like Sulli and Jonghyun has went through because they no longer can cope with the depression or the sadness or simply the reality that verbal abuse then was so severe, only a few were really behind her. I think Lee Soman and SM is one of the saddest people now because they lost their angel too. I also wonder if the bashers are happy now that she is gone while we who love our angel is heartbroken. We will never get the chance to see her stand up from all the ashes and live the life she deserves. How her eonnies and oppas are now crying because of this loss. But I hope we will rally behind her after everything has passed and calmed down and celebrate her life even if only in stories in AFF. Maybe not now, but I hope all Minsul authors can come back and complete these stories about the Jinri we love.
tiffanychoi99 #3
Chapter 27: As much as i want you to continue the story ... but i really understand what you are feeling right now ... it's very tooo sudden ... :(((
danielalmh #4
Chapter 27: ??? Sulli is angel
jhanehojas #5
Chapter 25: everyday i always look up if you time to be updated ,hehe tnx again
jhanehojas #6
Chapter 26: love this chapter pls update again authornim,miss u much,hehe
zangsia1 #7
Chapter 26: Love this chapter thanks authornim!
samsomnear #8
Chapter 25: A bit out of the story but when Minho thinks he loves seeing surprised look on ppl's face, it reminds me of minkey lol when he said he likes Kibum's cuteness when he bought him birthday gift. Okay back to the story, I really love reading your fluff authornim. I smiled like idiot reading this chapter. But does Minho know Sulli crushed on him before?! I guess I'll have to look forward to this hehe. Thank you so much for the update ^^
Spiritwarrior27 #9
Chapter 25: Really nice chapter, hope you update soon.
jhanehojas #10
Chapter 25: really sweet chap ,tnx authornim
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