Silence As His Final Words

An Endless Journey of Love ~ Sesshomaru X Reader

I wake up the morning with the sun shining through my window into the room, I get up and stretch.

 

"My final day here, then I'm going back home.  I think to myself with a solemn smile. 

 

I put on my pale kimono that Lady Kaede has managed to patch up as close to the original as possible, I'm thankful for her doing that. I have decided to let my hair fall freely behind me, I don't have the motivation to tie them up lately. I get up and wash up before I head out to meet up with Kagome and the others, the last day goes on like usual. It's better to keep the same routine up to the last day, it's a way to keep the feeling of distance at bay. I helped Sango and Shippo take care of her twins and son, we went out and had a lot of fun. I helped Kagome plant in herbs in the field and talked with her about girl stuff, like sisters would. I helped Lady Kaede with preparing lunch for all of us. Before we know it, the sky has slowly turned orange, greeting the evening sky soon. 

 

"I'm going to rest up a bit in the springs for a bit." I tell Sango and Kagome who are preparing dinner with Lady Kaede. 

 

"Of course, you need to rest up for tomorrow's long trip home. Take your time___________, get relaxed and rest well. Make sure to come back dinner alright?" Kagome says with a smile.

 

"Thanks and I will." I smile at them and leave the hut.

 

I return back to my hut and I grab a woven towel beside my futon, as I head out I turn around to look at my table. The jade bottle stands beautifully on the wooden table, I hesitated to grab it but I decided to take it with me. I wanted to smell the fragrant olives and have it surround me in comfort after resting. I then walk to the springs just a bit into the forest not far away from the flower fields. I finally arrive at the falls with the spring beneath it, the water is clear and beautiful. The springs are surrounded by high rocky walls and trees surrounded the edges, giving privacy to whoever are using this place. The late afternoon sky gives the whole place an orange wash, the air felt warm due to the spring weather. I untie my obi and the eventually my kimono and fold them up neatly, I place them on a rock beside the edge of the ground. I then gently placed the jade bottle beside it. I became bare, my black hair is long enough to cover my front down to my navel. I step into the cool water, goosebumps form on my skin but eventually I got use to the coolness of the water. I gently lower myself till I'm submerged in the water, my hair floats around me. I lean against the edge and start to clean myself. I run my hands along my arms, I reached towards my back and touched my scar. I then sighed.

 

"My body are covered in scars... it'll be hard to marry off with such flawed skin as mine. I was told growing up that women's skin should be clear of scars, because it'll be hard to marry off. Hope this custom can change in the future, but unfortunately I'm stuck in this era." I sigh. 

 

I then take a deep breath and submerge my head below the water, I close my eyes and let the water surround my body completely. I wanted to wash away all of my stress, worries, and thoughts of Sesshomaru. But I know it's impossible, well it may not be impossible but it will take time to forget, just like these scars that took so long to heal. I then lift my head out of the water and I wipe away the water on my face with my hands, water droplets laced my eyelashes. I brush my hair out of my face as well and brush them behind me. I lean against the rock ledge again and close my eyes. In time I slowly dozed off, I don't know how long time has passed but I eventually wake up. The sun is on the verge of setting behind the mountains, I decided that I should probably start heading back now. The wind gently blows and I look up, and in the corner of my left eye I see a patch of white not too far away, I turn my head fully to see what it is. My eyes lands on his lean structure standing gracefully at the edge of the stream in the distance gazing at me. His white hair gently swaying behind him, the fur on his shoulder pools around his feet behind him. We stare at each other for a few seconds with no words, he then turns and heads towards the forest. I then stand up, I dry myself up and put on my kimono. I then open the bottle of fragrant olives perfume and dabbed a little bit of the liquid with my middle finger and wiped it down my neck. The smell of apricot and peaches fills my nose and around me, I plug up the bottle again and place it inside the towel. I then walk towards the flower field. By the time I arrive, the sun has set, the sky is slowly turning dark but with just a little bit of orange, red, and yellow along the horizon. I see Sesshomaru standing in the middle of the field looking at the mountains with his back facing me. I don't want to go up to him, I want to turn back and leave him there. But I know I have to cut this "friendship" off cleanly and completely. I take a deep breath and I slowly walk up to him, the flowers have started to bloom. I stop a few feet away from him, once again openin up the distance that I once tried so hard to reduce between him and I.

 

"It's been a while since we last talked on this field hasn't it? I ask him casually.

 

He does't respond. Even now, he still doesn't respond back to me. 

 

"Uhm, I want to thank you for saving that night, I didn't know you'd be back so soon from seeing Rin. How was she after arriving at her new home?" I ask him trying to at least make him respond to me with something.

 

"She's happy there." He finally responds flatly without turning to look at me.

 

"How was her wedding? Was it beautiful?" I ask him.

 

"Yes." He replies again with no emotion in his voice.

 

"That's good. Did you manage to tell her your feelings on the way?" I finally ask him the big question.

 

Then once again, Sesshomaru falls silent. The silence itself tells me everything I need to know. I guess he wanted to respect Rin's choice, he wanted Rin to be happy with the path that she chose. 

 

"I take that your silence tells me you decided not to in the end. I'm happy that you at least fulfilled my request to at least go and watch over her until she reached her destination."

 

Sesshomaru doesn't say anything, has he shut himself away again? I just wish he can talk to me before I go back, even if it's just a short conversation.

 

"What are you planning on doing now? What is your goal now?" I ask him straight out.

 

I see his head tilt down from the starry sky, and then he turns to look at me. Our eyes met and his face is expressionless, but his amber eyes holds emotions. 

 

"I assume you'll be on your journey to gain more power since you have no one left you need to look after and protect. Rin's off living a happy life so you should be proud and happy for her. You should go chase after the things that makes you happy now, search for more power. Go find a love in someone else, someone like you." I say with a smile.

 

Sesshomaru turns fully to me after I say that, he still remains silent but from his golden eyes it seems like he wants to say something but he doesn't. I use to find the silence as his personality, but it's stressing me out now because he keeps himself locked away from me. 

 

"I want you to go find someone else to love and share a future with, seeing Rin leave with a new life it must've been difficult. I know how much you loved her and cared for her, and I want you to feel those emotions again with someone else. I don't want you to shut those emotions off just yet. Someone who'll live as long as you, someone who is just as powerful as you who'll stand by you and support you. Someone's who's like you in the demon world. I'm asking you this because I want you to be happy Sesshomaru. Can you fulfill this last wish as a friend?" I ask him with a smile.

 

He doesn't respond. The silence this time is too cryptic for me to decode.

 

"You know, I never really knew if we were friends to begin with. Being friends with a demon can be quite brain juggling, you have to watch what you say or else you won't know what will happen next. I'm talking to a great Daiyokai right now and I'm here thinking that I've became friends with you when in fact you might have just been tolerating me. The words that says that you find humans are irritating keeps running through my mind everytime we talk, eventually it made me realize that we're two different people in the end. You're a demon and I'm just a mere human, we belong in different worlds and I should push my way into your world." I say holding back my tears as I say that with a smile.

 

Sesshomaru's amber eyes searches mine and looks between them back and forth as if trying to find something, but as always... I hide my feelings so well that even a great demon like can't even uncover. His brows furrow a bit and he wants to say something but he kept quiet again. 

 

"Wish I can play my koto again in such beautiful scenery, unfortunately my koto broke." I say with a small laugh trying to lighten up the mood.

 

Sesshomaru just looks at me with his golden eyes. The wind gently swaying our hair that are opposite shades lightly in the air. I touch a flower that has blossomed in the field.

 

"I've made wonderful and fun memories in this field and I'll remember every last one of them. I want us to become strangers again Lord Sesshomaru, I know you were probably busy with your own things when you saved me those 2 times. That's why I want us to become strangers so that you can fully focus on your own goals instead of having me in the way. In just these few months I've seen just how much Rin has changed you, she taught you compassion and it's a beautiful sight to see instead of having those words saying that you despise humans blinding me. I was able to talk to you, although you often don't respond back to me. Regardless, I'm happy to have known a great a daiyokai like you. But I'm letting you go so that you can go find your own happiness now, and focus on what's important to you. I suppose this is for the best for both of us, because I need to find a path and follow my fate. It's quite ironic isn't it? Making such a decision in such a beautiul place." I say to him with a smile.

 

"Then why do it?" Sesshomaru finally asks me with no expression

 

I look at him and give him a smile.

 

"Because I think it's for the best... for both of us. This jade bottle containing the Fragrant Olive incense is a gift from you isn't it?" I ask him.

 

Sesshomaru doesn't respond but just keeps looking at me.

 

"Once again, your silence answers me. I never imagine to receive such a rare gift from a demon like you, I'm sorry I can't give anything to you in return. I wish I can play a song for you but I have no instrument to play with anymore. I'll treasure this gift and I'll see it as a parting gift from you. Thank you Lord Sesshomaru. Goodbye Lord Sesshomaru." I finally say to him with a soft smile.

 

I waited for him to say something, anything, anything at all. But in the end he just stays silent, his the bottom of the crescent moon on his forhead became slightly folded due to the furrow of his brows. It's so frustrating to having the last departing response from him in the form of silence. I wish he can at least tell me to stay friends at least, but no. I finally closed my eyes after trying to find his emotions or thoughts in his golden amber eyes that I loved so much. I then turn and head back to the village.

 

"Is that request of yours still valid then?" He finally asks with the slightest sound of urgency in his voice. 

 

I stop in my track, I then stop and turn to him with a smile.

 

"I like to think it still is? Lord Sesshomaru, because I asked you before ending this friendship. We'll become strangers after I leave this field, but I just want to let you know that you are a special person to me, and especially in my heart. Being able to just spend time with you on this field is a divine gift in a this world that I reside in, and I'll remember it for the rest of my life. I afraid time is up now, I have to leave now. I wish you'll find that special person in your life and I'll hope for your happiness. Goodbye." I finally say.

 

I look at his face which is slowly turning into a slight frown, his amber eyes seems to burn more golden than ever. I waited a few seconds hoping for him to say something once again, it always looks like he wants to but decided to keep his mouth shut. Even a simple "goodbye" is all I want to hear from him, even if it's such a painful word. I then make the hardest decision to turn away before my tears finally fall. I then run through the field back to the village, my hair flying behind me in the wind. I left Sesshomaru back in the fields. I ran away from the person that I love, I'm letting him go to find his happiness because I love him. They say that if you love someone, you'll let them go, and if they are yours they'll come back to you. I'm making this initiation because I love him. In the end I didn't tell him my feelings, at least I may have hinted it to him without realizing it. I also decided not to tell him because I know that he'll not come to the village for a while after today, and I'll be gone by tomorrow. The gesture of him wiping my tears still doesn't clarify anything to me, it's probably just him showing compassion for me and nothing else. I put a smile back on my face after returning to the village, we enjoyed our last dinner all together, we laughed and player some games before we all headed to bed so we can wake up early tomorrow for my departure. I stay up to pack up all of my things, it's not much but I have to bundle them up. Since I don't have my koto anymore, it's going to be a lot lighter now. Knowing Kagome and the others, they're going to pack me a lot of food for the trip since I won't be staying in any villages. The most precious thing left that I have is the jaded perfume bottle from Sesshomaru. I decided to keep in tucked to my chest in my kimono when I leave tomorrow. After I packed what I have I blow out the candles in my room. Instead of sleeping in my futon, I take my blanket and drape it over my shoulders. I walk up the corner of the the hut and sit down in the corner with the window just above me. I'm sitting in the corner so that I can see the door, I want to make sure that Sesshomaru won't show up or something. I look out the window for a little bit, I then bring my knees to my chest and I rest my chin on them. I close my eyes and just let the sounds go through my ears, unfortunately I fell into a shallow slumber. I don't know how long time has passed but a soft breeze brushes against my cheeks and it brings me back to reality. 

 

"I fell asleep..." I then rub my eyes and look up around my room, the wind is still gently blowing outside. The curtain hanging over the entrance is swaying from the wind, and in the distance I can hear faint faint footsteps. Then it stops. I sigh knowing that he may have stopped by again, but I didn't feel anything beside me because I know I wasn't to deep in my sleep. 

 

"Guess he didn't come in this time..." I thought to myself. 

 

I then sigh and went back to my futon. I close my eyes and I finally fall into a deep slumber. Time seem to pass way too quickily for me to catch up, because it only felt like an hour had passed that the sun finally came up again. I don't want to leave, but I have to. I washed up and I put on a little bit of the fragrant olives to lift up my solemn mood with the sweet aroma. I then tuck the jade bottle close my chest within my kimono, I give the hut that I've grown so close to one last glance and admire. 

 

"It's just like the day that I left my very own room back home, except this time I'm really going back home." I say to myself with a smile.

 

I then leave the hut with the futon neatly folded and placed in the corner. I meet all of them at the entrance of the village with Hidzume. There were a few bundles tied to his saddle already, as aspected from my second family. I walk up to them and they all turn to look at me with solemn smiles on their faces.

 

"Looks like the time has finally arrived." I say with a small laugh.

 

"Seems so, we packed some food and blankets for you on the road back home, we didn't pack too much food because we're afraid it'll go bad." Kagome says to me.

 

"Thanks so much, don't worry it's about a full 2 days and a half without staying in villages. I'll be back home before the end of the third day." I tell them with a smile.

 

"That's good, we won't hold you back with small talks then. It's better to get an early head start so you can get home earlier." Miroku says with a smile and patting me on the shoulder.

 

"Thank you everyone for making me so much at home. I'll always remember the great memories made here with you all." I say to them.

 

"We'll miss you dearly____________, stay safe out there alright. Send letters to us once in a while ok?" Sango says taking my hand in hers.

 

"I will, don't worry Sango." I say squeezing her hand back.

 

"Watch out for your health_________, and continue with your love of music when you return." Lady Kaede says.

 

"I will Lady Kaede, I'll have to buy a new koto when I get back first. Guess I'll be going then."  I say with a laugh. 

 

They all nod, I bid all off them a final farewell and I hop onto Hidzume and grabbing his reigns, I then look at Inuyasha. Our eyes met and he smiles a little. 

 

"I don't know what the decision you made is___________, but I hope you'll at least hold on to a bit of that happiness for yourself. Take care." Inuyasha says with nod."

 

"Thanks Inuyasha." I give him a nod back.

 

"What did you guys talk about that night?" Kagome asks us.

 

"Nothing." Both Inuyasha and I say simultaneously.

 

"Well I'm off." I say with a wave and turn to the direction back home after giving them all a final wave.

 

I then left my second home, galloping on the road towards my real home. I rode until the village disappeared, I then stopped and turned Hidzume slightly to the side so I can glance back at the place I've come to love so much one last time. I look back up at the mountains and eventually up to the sky, the spring breeze gently blowing the tall green grass. I'll miss it, and them, but I'll miss Sesshomaru the most.

 

"Goodbye, you were the first person that I fell in love with, but we're from two different worlds completely. I want to think that maybe my fate will include you in it, but a demon's fate and destiny is only up to them to decide. I want to support you completely on your goals in life, so that's why I'm letting you go. I hope that you'll achieve your goals and find someone who's meant for you and that stands on the same grounds as you do. I'll go find someone who I'll put my strong affections into and I'll try to find my own happiness." I think to myself mentally with a smile.

 

I look up at the sky for a few seconds, surprisingly, the atmosphere is calm and serene. There were no wind. I then turn back and continue my journey back home, coming to terms with my decision and carrying on with life with a new direction.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Mary_Inuyasha10 #1
Chapter 35: this is the best fanfiction that i ever read
itachiXryu
#2
Chapter 35: this is so amazing!! i cried and i felt like i was actually in this story! u so amazing!! I can't wait to see more of ur work!!~~ <3
razberri_100802 #3
Chapter 15: Lowkey teared up
razberri_100802 #4
I, an Inuyasha fan, have been summoned
EnderEmpressS16 #5
Chapter 29: This is one of the greatest fan-fics I have ever read in MY LIFE. I love this story, so dont keep Mikoto & I waiting! :)
itachiXryu
#6
Chapter 26: this story is amazing!!! i hope their future will be wonderful together.
yourstrulyjungkook
#7
Chapter 2: 請盡快更新請高手^^
yourstrulyjungkook
#8
Chapter 3: 請盡快更新請高手
yourstrulyjungkook
#9
這是一個好故事,謝謝大師