I head back home, I'm completely mentally and emotional exhausted at this point. I walk to the eating hall, the food has just started to be set on the table. My parents all look up to me surprised.

"____________, you came back home early today. You look really tired are alright?" My mother asks concerned.

"Yea, I'm fine, it's been a long day." I reply sitting down on the mat.

"I'm sure it has. How was your day with Lord Taiyo?" My father asks me.

"It was actually going great, it was fun." I reply flatly.

"Was going great? Did something happen?" My mother asks me.

"Yes, apparently something urgent and important came up back home for him. A fellow lord important to his family has come to visit him and the lord's daughter came along too and has asked for him." I tell them.

They look at each other with a look of understanding.

"Sorry to hear that dear, I hope you're ok." My mother says.

"Just when I thought that I have found someone, things take an unexpected turn. I feel so unlucky when it comes to love, I swear at this point I might as well marry my koto." I say with a self-mocking laugh. 

"____________, you can't lose faith. Be hopeful, we're sure that things will work out and you'll find that someone. You never know when that special person will come to you, but somewhere in this world, there is someone who loves you. You probably just haven't found him yet." My mother says giving me a hug.

"Somewhere in this world.... I don't know if I have the patience to wait for him to someday show up in front of me. I might as well just forget about finding love, I'll just be happy on my own. It's not that it's impossible." I say with a sigh.

"If that's what you want then we have no obligation to interfere with your choices, because we as your parents has said that we will support you not matter what. Just make sure that that's what you want, to put a hold on a possible happiness." My father says to me.

I look at them, his words, his words are the words that I have told Rin and Yorokobi before they left. It's so ironic, I tell them to make sure the choices that they make in the future will bring them happiness , but I'm thinking of throwing away mine over the subject of love. 

"You're right father, guess I just have to hold out a little longer and hope for the best." I sigh.

"We can forget about the matter for the time being, you're still in your prime years and you still have a whole life in front of you." My mother says with a smile.

"Yea." I reply.

We eat our dinner with small casual conversations to put behind my whole love problems. We all have tea together until the crickets tells us to turn in. We bid each other goodnight and head to our rooms. I change into my night wear and let my hair down. My mind is completely exhausted, I'm trying to keep my emotions together but it's hard. So I sit down and pull out my koto. I play songs after songs on it till my fingers are sore once again, I inhale and exhale deeply. I put my hands over my face and press my palms against my eyes, darkness surrounds me. I don't think I can sleep at this rate, I'm so stressed out. I look out my window and see the crescent moon, I then sigh. I get up and go to my treasure box that contains all of my precious items, on top of my pale blue kimono is the jade bottle containing the fragrant olive perfume. It's lays beautiful in the middle of the silk kimono, just like how I placesd it. I pick it up gently, blow out the candles, and walk to my window and sit down on the ledge. I then open up the cork that prevented the peachy smell from coming out, the moment the cork is removed the relaxing smell flows to my nose and fills the room with a faint smell of sweet peach. I immediately feel relaxed, but then let out a sigh.

"The thing that pains me also makes me feel at ease. What love can do to a person huh?" I ask myself with a smile.

I leave my window open a little and go to bed with the jade bottle laying beside me. It still takes me a while to fall asleep, but I eventually do, faster than the other days. The sweet smell slowly lull me into a slumber. I wake up to the sun's warm ray coming in through the window. In a long time, I actually feel a bit well rested. Still a little bit tired but my mood seem to be a bit better. I look beside me to see the jade bottle still laying there beside me, a sudden melancholic and nostalgia comes rushing to me in an instant. Then a small ache emerges in my heart, I take a deep breath to calm myself down. I pick it up and place it back in the treasure box.

"I only needed you just for last night, thanks for the help. But I don't think I can keep asking for your help to help me sleep at night." I say to it as if it can hear me. 

I stretch and look at my window. It's closed completely. I thought I left a little crack, maybe I forgot if I did or not. I brush it off and go wash up, afterwards I go to the eating hall to meet my parents. 

"Morning Mother, Father." I say to them as I sit down.

"Morning____________. What are you planning on doing today?" My father asks me.

"I'm not sure... I might just try to clear my mind today and come back at night. I'll go around town and see what I can do." I say to them with a shrug.

"I suppose it's not a bad idea. I think having some alone time will be good for you. You have a lot on your mind lately. Just stay safe alright?" My mother says.

"Yes I will." I reply.

We ate breakfast peacefully, afterwards I return to my room. I open my window to let fresh air come in, I sit down on the ground and rest my chin on my hands. I look out towards the mountains, and my thoughts immediately go to Sesshomaru. 

"I know I want to forget him, but I can't help but wonder how he's doing... is he on his own journey at this moment now that he has nothing standing in his way? Has he found his special someone yet?" I ask the scenery in front of me. 

Before my heartache can fully emerge I stand up and grab my koto. I then head out to town. I plan to spend my day in town, and then go to the grassy fields at night for a bit and then go home. I just want to be by myself today. I think today is finally a good oppurtunity for me to sort out my feelings once and for all. I looked at clothings, accessories, makeup, instruments, but I ended up buying nothing. I had lunch with myself. I had a cup of tea. It was relaxing. I seem to forget everything and to just focus on what I'm doing at the moment, seeing people out and about with their daily lives seem to put a smile on my face as well. Soon the afternoon sun starts to set and the sky slowly turns fiery red. 

"I guess it's time for me to head to the field, another day is about to end. My life is like a set routine, there's nothing really special happening everyday. The interesting days passes so quickily and the casual days goes by so slowly." I sigh.

 After finishing going around the town, I carry my new koto to the flower field on the outskirt of town. I walked slowly so I can take in the beautiful sceneries on the way there. When I got there, the sky has turned orange brown. The green grass feels soft and it fills the whole field, yellow and white flowers growing within it. I smile at the scene, it reminds me of the flower field back in Lady Kaede's village. I'm happy that this place acts like a replica to such beautiful place. I walk to the center of the field and sit down on the grass. The sweet scene of flowers flow around me, making me feel at ease. I place the koto onto my lap, I warm up my fingers with some exercises with simple and quick notes. After I get warmed up, I place my fingers gently over the strings. I close my eyes and let my fingers run along the strings, heavenly notes and tune echos through the evening field. I play songs after songs, I played songs that I haven't played since when I was young, songs that were quick, songs that were slow. Everything that I could remember, and I played them with passion. Before I know it an hour goes by, the sun has completely set and the stars has come out. I look up at the crescent moon that hung above me like always, I smile at it. I then look back to my koto, I place my fingers on the strings. I don't want to play it, but I feel like I should, that way I can let my unspoken feelings come out along with the notes. That way I can move on. I take a deep breath and glide my finger tips over the strings. I play it emotionally and as perfect as I can get it, and as I play the song that I composed, I think of Sesshomaru. I feel my heart ache, and my eyes begin to become blurry from the forming tears. I manage to finish it to the last note. I place my hands in my lap and I look up at the moon again. 

"This song that I played for you is actually a confession. It's a confession of my love for you, the love that I couldn't tell you. It took everything of me to play it and finish it without breaking down. Meeting you on that hill that day was a gift to me, falling in love with you is my choice. I was happy, so happy, I was hopeful, but under circumstances I had to let you go. It was the hardest decision I had to make, but I never regretted loving you. I'll probably love you for the rest of my life. Guess humans are weak after all. I'm weak. We don't stand on equal grounds after all. I can't even forget someone that I pushed away myself. Love is a beautiful thing, but it can hurt you greatly as well. I wish I can feel nothing for a while, till I can finally move on. This song is for you Sesshomaru, I hope you can hear it wherever you are. I don't expect an answer from you, but I just want to let you know I'm about to break if I don't release these bottled up feelings anymore. If fate pities me, then help me move forward once and for all." I say towards the sky.

Another teardrop falls from my eyes. I wipe it away. I stand up and pick up my koto. I turn and head back towards the village. I walk a few steps when a sudden gust of wind blows from behind. I stop in my track, the wind feels so familiar. I turn around slowly to see what is behind me. My eyes goes wide as I see who is standing not too far away from me. The long sleeves of his white kimono gently flutters in the wind. His two swords placed at his hips. The yellow obi sways on his waist. The bundle of fur ruffles along his right shoulder, and trails down to the ground behind him. His long silver white hair drifts in the air like silk. His porcelain skin is so flawless and so fair, the pink magenta stripes on his cheeks giving his face the elegant look. The crescent moon located perfectly in the middle of his forehead. His expression is slightly furrowed. But the feature that captures my attention is the thing that I fell in love with the first time I saw him, his golden amber eyes. They are looking straight at me, they are burning into mine. He's standing perfectly still, beautiful and graceful like a statue as he looks at me. Sesshomaru is standing in front of me. I froze on the spot, not comprehending what I'm seeing. We look at each other with no words between us, a few seconds passes and I let out a self-mocking smile.

"Look at me, I'm having illusions of you again. Will this ever stop? To imagine you and thinking about you everyday, but unable to touch or hear your voice is going to eventually crush me. I might as well lock myself away and let my heartache and pain consume me." I say to the illusion with a sigh.

The illusion of Sesshomaru in front of me doesn't move, just like how I remember him. I turn away from him, before I let my tears fall once again. I begin to walk out of the field, holding my koto tightly in front of me.

"Isn't it about time that you stopped running away?" A low monotone voice asks that sounds so familiar.

I stop in my track, and my heart almost stops beating. I take a moment to comprehend what I just heard, I then turn around. He's still there, Sesshomaru is still there. His amber eyes looking at me, there's a slight frown on his face now. 

"Sesshomaru..." My voice comes out unconsciously. 

I don't even know what to feel at the moment, I don't know if I'm suppose to feel happy to see him or disappointed that he's using his valuable time to see me, a weak human being. My emotions aren't stable at the moment, and my mind isn't thinking straight. 

"This is a dream, this got to be a dream..." I say to try and convince myself. 

Sesshomaru then starts to slowly walk towards me, still not believing what's in front of me I begin to back up simultaneously. Sesshomaru then stops.

"I'll ask you again, isn't it about time you stopped running?" Sesshomaru asks me again.

"You shouldn't be here, don't you have more important things to do? Why are you here?" I ask him with uncertainty in my voice. 

"If I were to tell you in the state your mind is in, will you believe me?" He asks me.

"Honestly I don't know, it all still feels so unreal to me. You feel unreal. At this moment I want to run away. I'm in confusion and a mess." I tell him. 

Sesshomaru continues to look at me, a gentle breeze blows across the field. He then turns around and his silver white hair faces me.

"Then run away, I won't stop you, but when you realize what you are running away from. I'll be waiting." He says flatly. 

Hearing his words, my mind tells me to run from him. He's a daiyokai, a demon. Someone who's out of this world, someone who's too superior and divine. I couldn't think straight, my mind is telling me to run. Without knowing I turn and run back to the town, without looking back.