Another week goes by, a new month begins. Winter grows shorter with each day. Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and I have taken very good care of the village with the abscene of Lady Kaede, Kagome, Rin, and Inuyasha. Tomorrow, is the day that they come back, it's been a long time. That night, I go to the field and sit in the middle of the field. I sit and play my koto and breathe in the fresh winter air. After playing for a little while, I put aside my koto. I bring my knees to chest and incase my legs within my arms. I look around the field, it's so quiet, so serene. Although it's peaceful and quiet, it feels imcomplete in my mind. 

 

"He only comes here after he visits Rin, he comes here to rest and enjoy the scenery at night. Although we talk, I feel as if I'm a nuisance to him. Well.... with the exception of Rin, he finds the human race irritating. Maybe I should I stop bothering him soon, besides... I'm leaving in a month when winter officially ends, I should start trying to distance myself from him gradually before I leave." I say to myself looking up at the moon.

 

I take a deep breath, closes my eyes and rest my chin on my knees. The wind gently blows across the vast field. Everything is completely silent now except the sound of the wind. Thoughts and feelings run wildly in my mind, after a while I open my eyes slowly and look up at the moon with a small smile.

 

"He says bring the koto with me the next time that we meet. I would like to think that those words mean that he doesn't hate me. Or maybe I just want to believe what I want to. Regardless, I want to make the rest of this winter a nice one." I say to myself with a smile. 

 

The wind lightly blows stronger a little and then tones down. Telling me that I should probably head back. I grab my koto and head back to the village. The moon luminates the dark land for a few hours more, then moves across the sky to give the rising sun a chance to shine. The next morning arrives, I wake up early to prepare everything for the return of Inuyasha, Lady Kaede, Kagome and Rin. The sun has just risen, Sango and Miroku are still sleeping, the whole village is. I prepared breakfast for them and the kids before they wake up. Inuyasha and the others are coming back after breakfast. 

 

"________? You're up early? When did you wake up?" Sango says carrying her son with her into the tent.

 

"Oh, good morning Sango, you're awake? Ya I woke up early so I can prepare for Lady Kaede and the other's return. I don't think it has been too long since I woke up." I say setting a plate of bread onto the table. 

 

"Not long? Haha_________, everyone's up and about already. Thanks for preparing breakfast for us." Miroku says laughing coming in with the twins and Shippo.

 

"Morning Miroku, Shippo, girls. Oh... I suppose I lost track of time. Please sit down." I say waving to the twin girls that I've grown attached too and Shippo who waves back at me with a big smile. 

 

"Wish I can wake up early like you and helped you out__________." Sango says with a sigh.

 

"No need, everyday is tiring for you. Take it easy." I say with a smile.

 

We all sit down and enjoy our breakfast together. Then we went about our day until it's almost lunch time. 

 

"Lady Kaede and the others are back!" I heard the villagers shout.

 

I head out of my hut and met up with Sango and Shippo, Miroku had to go out to work. We met up with them at the entrance to the village, Inuyasha with his arms crossed in front of him with his Tessaiga on his hip. Kagome is walking beside him looking young and youthful as ever, her bow on her back. Lady Kaede is in the front with her bow on her back, Rin is walking beside her with a big smile on her face. She is glowing with that smile. 

 

"Welcome back Lady Kaede, Kagome, Inuyasha, and Rin." Sango and I said welcoming them home.

 

"It's good to be back, Sango,___________, Shippo." Kagome says giving us all a hug.

 

"I ask everything is well?" Lady Kaede asks looking around with a smile.

 

"Yes, everything is all well, ___________ helped out a lot." Sango says looking at me with a smile.

 

"Gee, Miroku sure is busy, can't even stay to welcome us back." Inuyasha says with a humph.

 

"He has work to do just like us, besides on daily basis you would be accompanying him Inuyasha." Kagome says nudging Inuyasha. 

 

We all let out a laugh.

 

"I hope the trip was interesting Rin?" I ask Rin with a smile.

 

"Indeed, I have so many things to tell you later!" Rin says with a big smile.

 

"Can't wait to hear it, come on let's go have lunch." I say to all of them.

 

We then all head back for lunch, we talked, they told Sango, Shippo, and I about their trip. The shrine, the village, and the lords and ladies that that they met of the village. They were all eye opening. After lunch they all decided to take a rest, Rin took me to her hut. When she opens her curtain she looks on her table and see the gift from Sesshomaru. She goes up to it and picks it up.

 

"Let's sit down, we can talk about it your trip." I say sitting down.

 

"Lord Sesshomaru came by?" She asks opening up the box as she sits down.

 

"Yes he did, he asked me to give this to you." I answered her.

 

"Oh, I'm so glad that you and Lord Sesshomaru are talking and friends now!" Rin says with a smile.

 

"Well, we're still working on both of those aspects but I suppose we are making progress." I say with a small laugh.

 

Rin opens it up and in it is a gold bracelet. I gazed at how beautiful it is, watching the shine dazzling in the dim afternoon sun. Rin smiles and closes the lid and place it gently on the table, she then turns back to me. 

 

"You're not going to put it on?" I ask her surprised. 

 

"I will, put I want to tell you something first." Rin says with a smile. 

 

"Alright, lay it on me." I say.

 

"I met the young lord of the village, his name is Lord Kisho. He's an year older than me and he's very kind to me during our stay there." She says with a smile.

 

"I see, you must be really fond of him aren't you?" I ask her.

 

"I am really fond of him, we spent a lot of time together in those 2 weeks. He showed me a lot of places and such and it was wonderful. He said to me that in 2 weeks that he'll come find me and bring me back with him." She says looking at the ground with a shy smile.

 

As I listen to her speak and looking at her expression, she looks and sound like a girl in love. I smiled.

 

"You fell in love with him didn't you?" I ask her gently.

 

"I'm not sure, I have never experienced something like this before. It seems a bit overwhelming but I think I may have some feelings for him." She says furrowing her eyebrows. 

 

She's looking down at her wrist and on it is a thin gold bracelet, Rin's running her finger along it.

 

"Well, you still have 2 weeks to figure out your feelings right? Don't stress out too much about it, you'll figure it out naturally soon." I say taking her hand. 

 

"Have you ever been in love__________? How come you're not married and with a family? Aren't you passed the age?" Rin asks me with a wondering expression.

 

"Well, I suppose I just recently realized my feelings for someone. Love is something that takes time to realize and accept. I know, I'm passed the age. Guess I just haven't found the right person yet, it's the first for me as well." I say looking at the ground thinking about Sesshomaru.

 

"Are you going to tell the person your feelings?" Rin asks me

 

I look at the gift on the table for a few seconds and then look at Rin with a soft smile.

 

"Maybe in time I will." I said.

 

Rin nods. All of a sudden, the curtains moves and a familiar voice is heard, high and screechy if I must say.

 

"Rin! Are you her.. oh you're here too____________?" The small figure says coming in abruptly.

 

"Master Jaken." We both say in a unison.

 

By seeing Jaken I know that Sesshomaru is here to visit Rin again. I then stand up and smooth out my kimono, I then look at Rin who stood up as well.

 

"I'll be going then, looks like you have guests. It's nice seeing you Master Jaken." I say to Rin and greets Jaken. 

 

"Oh... yes..." Jaken says slowly. 

 

"You're not staying? We can talk together." Rin asks me.

 

"No it's ok, Lord Sesshomaru came to see you. I'm sure you have a lot ot tell him. It'll be a little awkward for me if I stay here. See you at dinner." I say with a wave.

 

"Oh ok." Rin says with a smile.

 

I bow to Master Jaken and went outside, he's not here yet. I let out a sigh and went to my hut, I grab my koto and head towards the field. The afternoon sun is hanging in the sky, the land is slowly basked in light orange and yellow. As I walked, my mind begin to empty out. I then stop on the still snowy path and came upon A-Un, A-Un is eating the snow just like the last time I saw him. 

 

"A-Un. Hi." I say gently and walk up to him.

 

A-Un turns and looks at me, he didn't move or anything. I went up to him and patted him on the snout with a smile. 

 

"You must be alone, let's go to the field together. I'll play a song for you." I say to him gently.

 

A-Un lets out a low rumble in his throat and I guided him towards the fields. I sit down on the snowy ground and A-un lays down beside me. I then play songs after songs to him, his two heads looking at the koto as I strum the strings gracefully. Time went by minutes after minutes, I eventually finished, it became evening. Since we're alone, I put aside my koto and gently A-Un's neck. 

 

"Since it's the two of us right now, is it alright if I talk to you for a little while?" I asked him.

 

A-Un lets out another low rumble he straightens himself and look looks at me with his yellow eyes.

 

"Thanks A-Un. I know we only met but I feel like you'll listen to me. You have a wonderful master, elegant, strong and graceful. I just recently come to terms with my feelings for him, I didn't know what it was since it's a first for me. But I've come to love Lord Sesshomaru, A-Un. I want to let him know how I feel, but it's hard to do. Because....because I think he might be in love someone else. She's someone close to him, to you as well I believe. Having those thoughts in my mind, I don't know if I can compete with her for his affections. The time that I spent with your master doesn't even come close to the strong bond that she she has with him. Besides, he is a great demon, and I'm just a mere human. Just being of different races is already a barricade, it's hard to break down. Do you think I'll ever have my affections returned by someone I love, A-Un?" I say looking into his eyes.

 

A-Un lets out a rumble and moves his two heads up and down. The wind then blows across the fields.

 

" A-Un! There you are!" I hear Jaken's voice shouting from behind me not far away.

 

I turn around to see him running towards us, behind him walking slowly is Sesshomaru. The gentle wind making his silver hair sway in the wind, his white kimono makes him look like a god, his bundle of fur trailing behind him as he walks. The same expressionless face of his looking at me. How I wish, that he can show me a smile. Even if it's just small smile like he did once a long time ago. I stand up and greet them as he come up to A-Un and I.

 

"_____________, I see that you brought your koto with you..." Sesshomaru says glancing at the koto on the ground.

 

"Yes I did, I wanted to come to the fields and play for a little while. I happen to meet A-Un on the way here, seeing that he's alone I brought him here and played songs to him." I replied giving A-Un a smile.

 

"You are a musician are you? I'm surprised A-Un takes such a quick liking to you_________." Jaken says surprised.

 

"Yea, I guess it surprised me to that A-Un followed me so willingly." I say giving A-Un a pat. 

 

Sesshomaru doesn't say anything but he gracefully sits down and leans against A-Un, with one of his leg bent up into a graceful position. He then closes his eyes. Jaken looks down at the snow and he frowns.

 

"The snow just doesn't melt do they, it's about time that they should." Jaken mutters.

 

"Well, the snowfall has stopped. Winter is coming to and end soon, we should enjoy the seasons while they are still here." I say to Jaken with a small.

 

"Enjoy? We demon do not enjoy seasons, they are just daily things that comes and goes and repeats." Jaken says.

 

"Well, maybe for you the seasons just seem like an annoying thing that you have to see and live in everyday, because you don't age. I assume 100 years is nothing for you. But for us humans, 100 years is a wish for us, because living to see our 100th winter is just a hope that we cling onto. So we enjoy it as much as we can before our time runs out." I say to Jaken with a smile.

 

Sesshomaru opens his eyes and glances at me. I smile and knelt down onto the ground.

 

"When I was younger, after my little sister was born and ages a few years. When winter comes and after the snow falls down onto the ground, my sister and I would play in the snow and throw snowballs at each other." I say remembering the old days.

 

I pick up a handful of snow, it's still soft but you can tell they're slowly melting away. I make it into a ball and hold it out to show Jaken.

 

"See this is a snowball, we then throw it at each other. Do you mind?" I ask Jaken.

 

"Mind? Mind what?" Jaken responds confused.

 

I get up and run a bit till I'm a few feet away from Jaken and Sesshomaru, I then throw the snowball at Jaken and hit him on the head. I let out a laugh.

 

"Let's have fun for a while, enjoy the snow Master Jaken!" I shouted at him.

 

"Uhg, I'll show you "enjoy" Jaken shouts back.

 

Jaken the drops his staff and picks up a handful of snow and and throws it at me, eventually a small snowball fight started between the two of us. Sesshomaru watches Jaken and I play with each other on the field. Eventually the sun slowly dipped behind the moutains and the evening arrives. I sit down next to Sesshomaru, he leaned against A-Un without moving at all. Jaken was so tired he laid on the ground and dozed off. I placed the koto onto my lap and looked up at the sky.

 

"I felt like a kid again just now. A real kid, free from rules and restraints. It was really fun." I say quietly.

 

"I don't understand fun, and I don't think I'll ever will." Sesshomaru says flatly looking up at the sky.

 

I look at him and my mind begin to tick, trying to think of something. I then move right next to Sesshomaru, our shoulder are almost touching. He glances at me with a furrowed and confused expression.

 

"What is this?" He asks me with a slight alert expression. 

 

"I'll teach you how to play the koto, or at least let you experience it." I say gently looking at him.

 

I then take his left wrist gently with my right hand and lift it up. It's the first time to touch him, his hand jerks back a bit on instinct. I took my left and and gently held his hand to keep him still. His fair skin is almost snow white, it's so smooth to the touch that you almost wonder if you're feeling marble or skin. His skin is slightly cold to the touch, his elegant fingers ends with long claw like nails. I wonder how such beautiful hands can unleash such dangerous weapon. I then seperate his finger gently into a position that fits a koto player's hand position, I hold it just above the strings of my koto. I look at Sesshomaru with a smile, he's looking at his hand that suspending over the koto.

 

"Just relax, I'll move your hand and fingers for you. In exchange I want you to feel the sensation and the notes that you play with your fingers. I want you to enjoy it." I say softly to him. 

 

Sesshomaru glances back at me with his amber eyes but doesn't say anything. I then look back to the koto, with my fingers I guide his nails over the strings and a string of heavenly notes echoes through the evening fields. I then, one by one move his fingers over specific strings to form out a tune. With his one hand, I guided it to release out notes after notes to eventually form a short song. I looked at his hands as I guided it, he didn't fight against them, it felt relaxed. I didn't want to let his hand go, but in the end I did. I then gently let his hand go. He then retreated it slowly and rested it onto his knee. 

 

"How was it? It wasn't that bad was it?" I asked him placing the koto onto the ground and bring my knees to my chest as I leaned back against A-Un as well. 

 

Sesshomaru didn't say anything but let out a soft "hmm" in response. 

 

After a second of two, he breakd the silence.

 

"What happened to your hand?" He asks me glancing at my left hand.

 

I look down at my hand confused at his question, my left hand is resting on my knees and I realized that he's referring to the scar that is now on my once flawless skin. I smiled as I look at it, remembering when Sesshomaru save me.

 

"An incident happened that day and I received this scar as a result of it. Although the incident wasn't a pleasant one, but the scar left behind is a slightly better reminder of the day's events. Although it was painful at first." I say gliding my right finger over the scar.

 

"I see..." Sesshomaru says flatly.

 

We stayed for silent for about a minute, just looking at the clouds in the evening sky.

 

"Uhm Lord Sesshomaru, I want to let you know something. Rin says that during the trip she met a young lord, and I think she's slowly fallen in love with him. He also says in 2 weeks time that he'll come for her and take her back with him." I say to him thinking it's best to let him know since he was her guardian and closest to her.

 

I look over to him and I can see his soft expression earlier after playing the koto has slowly turned into a furrowed expression. Like he's thinking hard about something. I feel that my thoughts from earlier might be true.

 

"Rin told me that she's still not certain about her feelings for him, but I think she'll figure it out eventually and go with him." I say trying to coax out his feelings at this point.

 

"Feelings...." Sesshomaru mutters quietly.

 

At that point I realized that Sesshomaru is in fact in love with Rin. I closed my eyes and let out a small pained smile, I then look at it. I really don't want to ask but I had to.

 

"You love Rin don't you?" I finally ask him.

 

He doesn't respond but I can see his eyes widen a little.

 

"Remember that I asked you that one day I hope that you can open up your thoughts and feelings to me? I hope that day is today." I say gently to him.

 

Sesshomaru doesn't respond once again, but I can see the stress and in his eyes from that request. Almost like he wants to tell me but can trust me enough to his inner most feelings to me.

 

"Of course, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But if you decide to, I'll help you release that stress and uncertainty." I say to him with a smile.

 

I looked at him, but he doesn't look at me or move. I then pat A-Un on the head and get up, picking up my koto with me.

 

"I must go back to the village now, Goodbye for now Lord Sesshomaru." I say and gave a slight bow to him.

 

I then turn and head back to the village, the wind gently blows against me almost like it's trying to push me back, but it's not strong enough to. 

 

"I love her..." Sesshomaru finally lets out with a slight forced tone. 

 

I stop in my track as I hear those 3 words from him that I wish I never want to hear, they are filled with such stress and pain.