For The Times We Could've Been

An Endless Journey of Love ~ Sesshomaru X Reader

The afternoon soon turns into early evening. I walk beside Sesshomaru through the long grassy plain, the sky is dyed light orange and yellow with tints of fiery red. Not much words were said, but just being able to walk beside him feels so relaxing and beautiful. The birds flew above us and the spring breeze crosses the field. I brush my hand along the taller grass and it tickles my hand, Sesshomaru looks around and occasionally at me. We didn't do much, but it's a beautiful moment. The sky finally turns into nighttime after a few more hours, the bright stars shines beautifully. The crescent moon hangs majestically within them, the warm night feels wonderful. 

 

"Are you tired?" Sesshomaru suddenly asks me.

 

He stopped so suddenly and I didn't notice I was still walking when he asked me. I turn to face him with a smile. 

 

"Are you tired?" I ask him back.

 

"I'm a demon, I don't get tired that easily." He replies closing his eyes. 

 

I admire his graceful and still figure standing in the dark green grass, his white hair gently swaying in the wind. Absolutely majestic. I don't respond to him, but I feel like we should sit down and spend some time talking. I brought blankets so might as well use them. I jog back up to him, he opens his eyes hearing me running towards him. I stop in front of him, and I look up at his eyes.

 

"What are you doing?" He asks me curious.

 

I look down at his left hand and I take his in my, his cool skin against mine feels like a perfect combination. 

 

"How about let's sit down for a bit, I brought some blankets. I also brought my koto with me, I was planning on playing more of it today, but since I spent such a great time with you I forgot all about my koto. Come on, let's go over there and sit down." I say to him with a smile. 

 

He looks at me and nod. I smile and I pull him gently by the hand. To hold his hand in mine feels so unreal, I keep tell myself this moment is real, but it's so hard to believe. We walk till we arrive at the edge of a small slope on the grassy plain, I let him go and I untie my koto on my back. I lay out the larger blanket onto the soft grass. I then take him and guide him to sit down with me, he doesn't say anything, no questions or expression of annoyance or disgust. I smile knowing that he has changed so much than how he was before, I don't what would have happened if I met him before he met Rin. He sits gracefully and bends his left leg up to rest his left arm onto his knee, I sit right beside him. I then place my koto onto my lap, and I look at him.

 

"Would you like to hear a song?" I ask him quietly.

 

He looks at me with a flat expression, but then he let's out a slight smile.

 

"Do whatever you like." He says gently.

 

I remember those words so long ago, back then they were cold and emotionless. But now, they were soft and kind. If only I knew that what he meant back then was "I'd like that." Now I understand him. I smile and nod.

 

I turn back to my koto, and I place my fingers onto the perfectly pulled strings. I close my eyes and I once again let my fingers run freely along the strings, notes echos beautifully around us in the quiet night sky. As I play the songs I reminisce all the times we spent together, they were nice but today is the most precious and beautiful one. After I finish, I put aside my koto and I turn to look at Sesshomaru. His eyes are closed his head hung slightly downwards, he looks so peaceful. I don't know if he fell asleep while sitting up or just resting, but I can't stop admiring him. Without knowing my left arm lifts up, and it goes towards his face. My hands are mere centimeters from his, when his left arm suddenly grabs mine gently. It shocked me.

 

"You've seen my face so many times already, is it still not enough?" He asks me slowly and opens his eyes.

 

The magenta stripe on his lids slowly becoming thinner has his eyelids folds slightly up. He turns to look at me, his flawless face facing mine. The moon in his forehead giving him such majestic features. I smile.

 

"All those times that I've seen your face, it's always so expressionless and cool. As expected from a great Daiyokai, but to see your face with such soft expression, it's a divine gift to me." I say to him with a smile. 

 

He looks at me with is usual expressionless face, but it's laced with kindness and love. I look up at the sky and see the stars, I grab the other large blanket beside us and I then turn back to Sesshomaru. I lean back towards the ground, since Sesshomaru is still holding onto my hand I take the oppurtunity to gently pull him down as well. He doesn't fight back nor say anything. When we both lay down on the ground ontop of the blanket, I place the other blanket over the both of us. 

 

"I don't need such thing, you use it." He says.

 

"It's not about needing it or not. It's about sharing such precious moment together with the one you love. It's sharing such warmth side by side is what makes this moment a memory I'll never forget." I say quietly to him with a small laugh. 

 

"Sharing the warmth, side by side..." He says quietly. 

 

I smile at his words, I then turn onto my left side so I can look at him head on. I lay my hand on my arm, Sesshomaru turns his head to look at me. The fluff on his shoulder slightly covering his face, I gently touch the fluff on his shoulder. I gently glide my hand along the fur, it's so soft. 

 

"I've seen you rest against this before, it never really got the chance to actually feel it. This a first." I say smiling.

 

"Does this really interest you? You seem like a child." He says looking at me.

 

"I may be 25 years of age, but deep down in everyone, there's always a kid inside hidden away. Waiting to be released when something fun or cute is in front of them. This thing is one for example. Actually to just hold your hand seem like such a dream and fantasy." I say to him taking his hand.

 

Sesshomaru just looks at me, his eyes looking into mine with a slight furrow on his brows.

 

"I told you, aside from Rin and you, I won't allow any other humans to touch me. So why do you only hold my hand?" Sesshomaru asks me.

 

I smile at his words and I sit up. Sesshomaru follows me and also sits up slowly. 

 

"I know I've said it before, you're probably already sick of hearing it but, just to sit here with you side by side, talking to you, and to have my love returned by you is my greatest and rarest gift. Everything still feels like a dream, and I feel like I'll never wake up from it. I want to touch you just slightly, that way I won't lose myself in such dream, but still keep myself in such dream just enough. I suppose fate pitied me and gave me something so rare as you into my life." I say looking up at the stars. 

 

There is a brief silence, and I turn to Sesshomaru. He is also looking up at the sky, his white bangs gentle ruffling against his forehead. 

 

"Fate... We demons create our own fate and path. Fate didn't give me to you, I chose you as the one I love." He says. 

 

I smile and I stand up, I take a deep breath. Sesshomaru stands up as well and stands beside me.

 

"How can I forget such words, it was the day we told each other our love. It was one of the greatest day of my life." I say turning to him with a smile. 

 

Sesshomaru turns to me, he looks at me with a soft expression, then he then lifts his left hand up and gently my cheek. I'm surprised by such sudden skinship. 

 

"Sesshomaru?" I ask him. 

 

"Are you planning on going back tonight?" He asks me calmly.

 

"Uhm... well... I told my parents that I'll be going home pretty late and told them not to worry. Is something the matter?" I ask him searching his eyes. 

 

"Since that day was the day we conveyed our love, let's show our love tonight." He says casually. 

 

His words makes my heart beat faster in mere seconds, my eyes go wide and I almost fall to my knees. Am I hearing this correctly? Is this a dream within a dream? I search his eyes trying to see if I can find any falseness to it, but knowing Sesshomaru, he's not the type to joke. 

 

"Am I hearing you properly? Did you say those words?" I ask him still out of it.

 

"Yes indeed. I want to show my love and in return I want you to show yours as well." He says caressing my cheek. 

 

I feel my face blush, surprised that he a great Daiyokai would say such intimate words to me, a human. I don't even know what to respond to him but just hold his hand in mine. 

 

"What's the matter? Are you scared?" He asks me softly.

 

"I am, but also, as a great Daiyokai won't this taint your pride? Won't it make you feel ashamed in the future? You're so perfect and divine Sesshomaru, won't I taint you? To fall in love with me, a human, is more than enough for me. I don't want you to go out of your way to show your love. I acknowledge it and I appreciate your love greatly." I tell him with a smile.

 

"I'm sure, I'm saying this out of my own will. Yes I'm a demon and you're a mere human, I am indeed superior, but I see you on equal grounds as I. Although it irritates me to admit that I have grown more compassionate towards humans than a few years back, but I suppose I'm grateful to have met you and fell in love with you. I suppose I changed greatly." He says furrowing his eyebrows a little.

 

I feel so happy to hear those words from him, but I don't know what to do next. I know I'm ready, but I still feel scared and nervous because, well, I never fell in love before meeting Sesshomaru, and never have I had any close intimacies in my life. Never with another person, but to experience my first time with a great daiyokai. It's feels like a fantasy. I didn't initiate this, Sesshomaru did. Just how special am I to him? But I feel happy and grateful to know that he wants me. 

I didn't talk for a few seconds and my eyes keep looking around except look at Sesshomaru. I still don't know what to do, I'm waiting for him to make the first move.

 

"Do you want this__________? If you don't, then I won't push any further." He asks me with softness in his voice. 

 

He did change drastically, I don't know if I can ever get use to the soft side of him.

 

"Although I'm scared and nervous, but I want to remember this beautiful night with you even more." I tell him with a smile.

 

"I suppose the rest of tonight will make up for the times we could've been?" He asks with a small smile. 

 

I look up at him, his amber eyes gently looking into mine. 

 

"If you say it is, then it is." I smile at him.

 

Sesshomaru relax his slightly furrowed brows, the crecent moon on his forehead slowly become more perfectly formed again. He then takes his hand away from my cheeks and puts it beside him, he stands perfectly still in front of me, grand and divine. His long white hair flows in the gentle breeze. 

 

"Help me take off my attire." He says to me gently. 

 

I look at him, then I nod. I slowly step closer to him. I don't even know where to start, but even more my mind is somewhere else. My eyes roam over the body of this perfect form in front of me, still lost. I guess Sesshomaru noticed.

 

"You can start with the obi." He suggests.

 

"Alright..." I reply coming back to my senses. 

 

I reach out and pull out his two beautiful swords on his waist, I gently put it beside us on the blanket. I then stand back and I touch his yellow obi, its silk fabric is soft to the touch. I gently untie it and put it beside us on the blanket. I look at him again and I don't know what to do next, I suppose taking off the bundle of fur on his shoulder is next.

Without saying anything, Sesshomaru's left arm reaches over and grabs the large bundle of fur and unravels it, it's longer than I thought. After unraveling it he drops it onto the ground around us, encircling us. He then looks back at me, waiting. I take a deep breath and I go for his armour plates and shoulder pauldron, I take the armour off gently from him and I place them beside us. I slowly realize why he asked me to help take his clothes off, he wants me to not be afraid of just holding his hand, he wants me to be courageous. He wants me to see him as not a dream, he is real and he wants me to know and remember that by touching him more won't make him disappear. Sesshomaru now stands in front of me only in his snow white kimono, underneath the kimono is his bare skin. Without a second thought my hands go and untie the single knot holding together his top kimono. I take a breath and gently open up his kimono, Sesshomaru doesn't faze as I do so and he doesn't say anything, he looks down at my face as I see his bare torso. His skin is smooth and just like his face, porcelain fair. His chest and torso are perfectly toned, lean but the muscles are clearly visible. I mentally gasp at his body, he's just like any other human. I decide to leave his bottom half up to him to shed. Sesshomaru gently my cheek again, then his hands travel down to my own obi. I couldn't say or do anything, I only follow his graceful fingers untying my obi. His muscular arms flexing gently as he unties it, after untying it he drops it beside us. He then unties the single knot on my kimono, and his fingers traces along my collar. Feeling self conscious all of a sudden, I gently grab onto his hands. His cool hands against my skin feels so soothing, I look up at him and his amber eyes complimented by the purple stripes on his eyelids gazes back at me. 

 

"I'll do it." I tell him with a smile. 

 

Sesshomaru narrows his eyes a little and backs down. He respects my words and wishes, for that I'm thankful for. I bend down and I pick up the second blanket, I turn around so my back faces him. I take a deep breath and I open up my own kimono, I let the kimono drop and pool around me. I then cover my front with the blanket. I brush my long hair to the side, showing my to Sesshomaru. I hear a slight "hmm" from him. My isn't bare or smooth like it use to be, it is laced with a long and dark scar that runs across my back now. My chest area still shows the dark scars from the demon that punctured my flesh with his claws that night. For those scars, I feel self-conscious. I take another deep breath and I turn to face Sesshomaru. He's standing perfectly still like a statue, and he's gazing at me softly.

 

"My body has been ruined by the scars of the demon that night, they say that it will be difficult for a woman to get married if they're skin has been scarred. I had lost hope after coming back, I thought that I will never be able to find someone who will love me even with these scars. That thought pained me more than the actual scars. Do you still want me? After seeing how imperfect my body is?" I ask him with tears slowly forming. 

 

Sesshomaru closes in and he wraps his right arm around my waist and pulls me in gently, he wipes away the single tear that falls.

 

"Did you forget? I have seen those scars on your body that night when I saved you and when I visited you. I don't care about scars on your body, the scars shows the bravery and courageous personality of yours that I admire. For that you are perfect. Remember I'm not a human, I'm a demon, I don't have the same viewpoints as their ridiculous ones. You are brave and courageous in times of danger, be brave and be confident in your body as well." He tells me sternly. 

 

I look up at his golden amber eyes that looks down at mine with love. Moved by his words, I let the tears fall down my cheeks, I clutch the blanket tighter to my chest. Sesshomaru's hand gently caress my cheek, he turns my head slightly to the side, then leans down and brings his lips close to my eye. I close my eyes as his lips touches my face, he then kisses my eye, kissing away my tears. Sesshomaru then faces me and brings his lips to mine, his hand holding my face in place. His soft lips pressing against mine makes my heart race. He then releases my lips and leans his forehead on mine, I smile at him. He then bends down and put his arm behind my legs and my back, he picks me up bridal style. I hold the blanket close to my body with one hand and I wrap my other arm around his neck. Sesshomaru then he gently lays me down onto the blanket on the grass, our clothes lay around us. 

 

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Mary_Inuyasha10 #1
Chapter 35: this is the best fanfiction that i ever read
itachiXryu
#2
Chapter 35: this is so amazing!! i cried and i felt like i was actually in this story! u so amazing!! I can't wait to see more of ur work!!~~ <3
razberri_100802 #3
Chapter 15: Lowkey teared up
razberri_100802 #4
I, an Inuyasha fan, have been summoned
EnderEmpressS16 #5
Chapter 29: This is one of the greatest fan-fics I have ever read in MY LIFE. I love this story, so dont keep Mikoto & I waiting! :)
itachiXryu
#6
Chapter 26: this story is amazing!!! i hope their future will be wonderful together.
yourstrulyjungkook
#7
Chapter 2: 請盡快更新請高手^^
yourstrulyjungkook
#8
Chapter 3: 請盡快更新請高手
yourstrulyjungkook
#9
這是一個好故事,謝謝大師