Sometimes I wonder why would the two of them put up with someone like me. Compared to them, I’m just a quiet little kid then. But they’ve invited me to join them in their little hopscotch game when they realized that I’ve been watching them quietly.

Sometimes, I thought that they would get bored with me but that did not happen. Even though they both loved joking that I’m half mute, they’re never bothered by it.

Which is why, even at that young age, I’ve told myself to never ever let these two friends go no matter what. I’ve to always watch over them because that’s the only thing I can do.

Jinyoung and Nayeon, I really love seeing them happy.

However, ever since that accident a year ago, the wish I’ve always made came crashing down. Jinyoung’s gone, so did Nayeon’s smile. Everything was a mess within this one year and I had absolutely no idea what to do.

Thankfully, there were Bambam, Jaebum and Jeongyeon. I don’t know what would happen if they weren’t around; Jaebum and Jeongyeon thought that I was putting too much pressure on myself but I’ve never once told them that because of the presence of them, I will eventually be okay.

Bambam did a good job bringing energy to us too. We all know what happened impacted him a lot a lot. He had always seen us as his brothers and sister; especially Nayeon, that boy adores her. Maybe it’s because of how she had protected him when we were younger or maybe, it’s just Nayeon and her positive energy around her.

That energy of hers disappeared completely, along with Jinyoung. If I didn’t manage to find her that day, she wouldn’t be with us right now too. That thought… it still scares me a lot. It’s been a year and I still couldn’t get the way she almost wanted to jump out of my mind.

What would have happened if I lose her completely too?

That was the question I asked myself many times and each time, I couldn’t even continue that thought. Losing Jinyoung was bad enough, losing Nayeon…

I just–

However, Nayeon had gotten better nowadays. She had claimed that Jinyoung’s around her; I’ve got to be honest and admit that I did have my doubts. I might have believed her but deep inside, I know that I doubted.

Until she finally smiled again; until she finally stepped out of the house again.

That’s when I believe her words completely.

The presence of Jinyoung – even though I didn’t know where was he – helped her a lot. I know that. There’s no need for any explanation, I just knew.

Every night, I’ve tried convincing myself that whatever I’m doing for her was what a best friend would do. Just like how Jeongyeon helped her selflessly too. Every single night, I had to convince myself that my feelings weren’t involved in everything I had been doing. Including the fact that I’ve raised my voice at Ayeon or that I’ve had a fight with Younghyun and Jaebum. Picking her up or watching her from a side after her work, it’s all in the duty of a best friend.

But who would believe me? Even I can’t manage to convince myself. Heck, Jeongyeon was able to see through me.

I’ve always thought that it’s enough just by staying by her side. It had always been that way, even when she started dating Jinyoung. I was satisfied enough to be by their side; it gets a teeny weeny little bit lonely at times but most of the time, I just smile when they do.

I sound like a creep.

But now, I think I’m getting a little greedy. I want more than to just stay by her side; I want to be the one to put on that smile I love so much back onto her face. I want her to get better; I want her to be happy for the rest of her life and this time, I wish to be the one to be by her side and no one else. I can’t trust anyone that’s not me nor Jinyoung.

And as if Jinyoung had heard my words to him – I strongly believe that’s what happened – he appeared in front of me too. He apparently, has the same thought as me. Nayeon’s too precious to us for us to let go of her to any other guy out there.

I was guilty to even have admitted my feelings to that guy.

But I also know that even though he’s here right now, he can’t be here forever. Not anymore. Jinyoung himself know that too. That sadness in his smile, I saw them. Even though he was smiling, even though he wished that we would be happy and even though it was sincere, I know he couldn’t bear to leave us, her.

It was a smile I’m familiar with.

It was a smile I used to put on in the past.

It was a smile that consists of both our love and longing for that one girl.

His appearance in front of me was like a wake up call?

An assurance?

I guess you can put it in that way. After all, since I’ve already done such a stupid thing like kissing her, I can’t exactly leave the whole situation hanging. Especially when I want to continue staying by Nayeon’s side.

It’s like what Jinyoung had said; stop being a wuss Mark Tuan!

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today's chapter is a character chapter so it's a little shorter. we are really really reeeeally reaching the end. next chapter will be the final and then one last epilogue. which means, this story will end on this friday. i'm just giving you guys a heads up HAHA. thank you everyone for staying with me all these while.

use this chance to still share your thoughts with me. on the chapters or anything. so, thank you for hearing mark out today! next chapter is probably the longest of the whole story. stay tune!

peace!