Mark stood by the sidewalk opposite the road, his face falling as he watched Nayeon breaking down at the playground. Those tears, he had no idea how to prevent them from falling again. Even though he had been seeing Nayeon’s smile more lately, her tears never stopped.

He had noticed Nayeon leaving the house again without informing anyone when he was in the kitchen preparing a drink for that girl. And being his overprotective self, he followed after her but also making sure that the girl had her own space. She was quiet throughout the walk; it made him wondered whether Jinyoung was there beside her or that it’s just Nayeon alone.

He got his answer when he saw how Nayeon got agitated at something or someone he couldn’t see. He couldn’t hear what she was saying but the next thing he knew, Nayeon was crying in front of him.

Again.

A sigh escaped from him as he watched Nayeon from that distance. The playground, that playground, it held a lot of meaning to everyone and he knew that it’s probably a lot more to Nayeon. Why did she have to bring herself to a place where it would make her cry like this?

He watched her for another short while and walked up to her as he saw no sign of her stopping anytime.

“Nayeonie.” He whispered her name with endearment and squatted down beside her. It was a name he used when they were younger; it was also a name both Jinyoung and himself would use when they were trying to calm the girl down in whatever situation.

Nayeon didn’t reply him but he saw how she paused a while, acknowledging his presence as he wrapped her arms around her again. He sat down on the ground, pulling her along with her and gently patting the side of her head. Nayeon calmed down a little in his arms but she still refused to look up at him or anywhere else. He could feel his shirt getting a little wet but that wasn’t the point at that moment.

“It frustrates me to see you like this, do you know that?” He muttered quietly even though Nayeon didn’t give him any reply. “My mood changes when yours do, because my trust and my faith in you is a lot. I’m pretty sure you know that. It’s been like this since we were young. Jinyoung too. “

Mark’s voice was gentle as he continued to ramble on. He could feel Nayeon’s head moving slightly as she buried her face against his body as if trying to hide her crying face even more.

“I have no idea how you’re feeling exactly.” He continued, “But I know I hate seeing you like this.”

It was silence after that; Nayeon stopped crying with Mark’s arms still around her petite frame. It took her a moment but she finally pulled away and looked up at him, her face and eyes swollen from all the crying.

Mark smiled.

“Let’s go home, yeah?” He stood up first, taking Nayeon’s hand and pulled her up. Nayeon still didn’t say anything but she didn’t need to; Mark knew that she’s a little better than before.

It was a quiet walk back to the apartment too. He let Nayeon walked slightly in front of him so he could keep a watch behind her. He felt like he needed to keep her in his sight when she’s being like this or he would probably go crazy worrying about her again.

When they got back to their apartment, Jaebum and Bambam had left the place too. Younghyun and Ayeon had left before that since Ayeon didn’t want him to get any more mad than he was.

Especially not when Nayeon’s back.

He escorted Nayeon back into her room who headed straight back into her bed again. Jinyoung’s death had been more than half a year and Nayeon was still acting that way. It’s unhealthy, he knew that but he also knew that Nayeon’s a strong girl. It might take some time but she would be okay soon.

Mark kept his eyes on her back and sat down beside her. He didn’t say anything neither did Nayeon. He recalled the fight he had with Younghyun and Jaebum a while ago; he could understand why those two acted that way but he wouldn’t let Nayeon feel worse than she was feeling at that moment.

He sighed for the umpteenth time that day, reaching out to brush her hair gently and tugged them behind her ear. He stared at her sleeping face; her tear stained cheek and gently touched them with a finger.

Just how much tears did this girl have?

After a short moment, Mark stood up and he had no idea what got into him; he leant down and planted a soft endearing kiss on Nayeon’s temple. He mentally apologized to Jinyoung after that and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him. It was then he finally noticed the presence of another person – Jeongyeon who had wanted to check on Nayeon and how she was coping.

Mark could guess from her expression that she’s seen everything earlier. Neither of them spoke for a while but Jeongyeon was the first one to break the silence.

“How long had it been?”

That was a stupid question, Jeongyeon mentally noted but it was also the first question that came to her mind. She had somewhat guessed that Nayeon was special to Mark, a lot more than she was to the rest of them. But to watch him looking at her with such a gentle gaze and his soft touch to her, it was new to her.

Mark didn’t reply her but instead, he walked towards the couch and sat down on it. Jeongyeon followed him and stood by the side, not wanting to push him for an answer.

“How long have you been standing there?” Mark brought up the question, stopping her as she was planning to just leave him be for now.

“Long enough to witness how gentle you are with her and…” Jeongyeon paused for a moment. “And that kiss.”

“I’ve always been watching her since we were young.” Mark started and Jeongyeon knew that he’s answering her question. “I had no idea when or how; it was probably like Jinyoung. Somehow, that girl became so important to me. If I was in Jinyoung’s position during the night of the accident, I would do the same thing he did too.”

Jeongyeon kept silent.

“I thought if I didn’t say anything, it would go away.” Mark chuckled drying, “Especially when Jinyoung talked to me about how he felt for her. He was really firm with his decision, unlike me. Maybe I was just scared, I don’t know.”

Jeongyeon gave Mark her full attention. It’s rare that he opened up to her like this. It’s rare for him to even open up to anyone. Probably that’s why, no one knew about his feelings for Nayeon. The last time she heard about Mark opening up was through Jaebum who roughly told her about the talk he had with Mark.

“Were you not planning to tell anyone about it?”

“They were happy. I would do anything to see the smiles on both of their face.” That sad smile on Mark’s face definitely didn’t miss Jeongyeon’s eyes but she let him continue. “They were practically in the whole of my life. I miss them…”

Mark trailed off at his last sentence and there was a quiet pause after that. Jeongyeon could tell that he’s trying hard to suppress whatever emotions he’s feeling right then. Emotions that none of them probably could understand.

She could now understand what did Jaebum mean then.

“You know, you had not shed a single tear at all.” Jeongyeon started again, bringing up the fact that everyone noticed. Even the cool Jaebum got a little emotional during Jinyoung’s send off. But Mark, from the day they’ve received the call from Ayeon until now, he had been the strong pillar behind everyone else.

Bambam had cried hard when they left the hospital that night when Nayeon was admitted. Jeongyeon remembered that it took a while for him to calm down.

“Bam?” Mark was the first one to realize that the younger boy wasn’t following after them. He was just standing still, staring at the ground.

“Bambam?” Jeongyeon whispered while Jaebum watched from the back, a worried look across his face.

Bambam was shaking, the three of them noticed but Mark was the one who stepped forward and wrapped his arm around the taller boy.

“It’s okay.” Mark coaxed quietly, patting Bambam’s back gently as if he’s soothing a young kid. It had always been Nayeon’s job to comfort a crying Bambam when they’re younger but now that she wasn’t up for it, someone had to step up.

Bambam hid his face against Mark’s shoulder, crying hard against him. He had suppressed every emotion of his throughout the night. From the death of Jinyoung to Nayeon’s weak condition, Bambam stayed as strong as the older kids. But now that he’s out of the hospital, out of Nayeon’s presence, he couldn’t help but to let things out. After all, even though Bambam had never once mentioned it, everyone knew how precious the trio was to him.

Jeongyeon and Jaebum watched how Mark comfort the younger boy for a while before they both stepped forward too.

“I can’t really cry when everyone’s a mess.” Mark mumbled.

“The one you’re most worried about is Nayeon.” Jeongyeon sighed softly, turning her head slightly and glanced at Nayeon’s room.

“Her smile, it’s probably one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen.” Mark continued, “And Jinyoung’s warmth, it’s anything a best friend could ask for. They’ve always been bubbly and happy, since young. I know I’m a quiet person but with them and now with all of you, it feels like I could do anything with all of you. It feels warm.”

Silence once again took over as Mark closed his eyes, leaning back against the couch and rested his head on it.

Tears.

Jeongyeon saw them on the corner of his eye. He’s holding them back again.

“You know how you were always saying that Nayeon kept everything to herself? Or how you wished that she would open herself up and talk to us so it won’t suffocate her?” Jeongyeon said in a quiet tone as she kept her gaze on the other guy, “You’re doing it worse than her. Stop holding back those tears, you .”

Mark chuckled lightly at her last word but that chuckle slowly turned into sniffles and then quiet sobs. He quickly covered his eyes with his arms with his head tilted up slightly, as if he’s trying to prevent them from falling. His quiet sobs escalated not soon after as they become uncontrollable.

Those tears are the tears of the loss of two best friends. Unlike hers, Mark’s break down wasn’t just the stress and the pain throughout the months. Those are tears filled with memories from their childhood; his love for his two best friends and the support he’d been giving everyone else within the past half year. He’s worn out.

Jeongyeon couldn’t help but wondered, if she had not chanced upon that scene and if she did not have this talk with him. How long could that man stay strong?

How long could he be Nayeon’s knight before everything crumble down in him?

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so, markyeon fans, it's happening. even though it's one-sided for now but this is the first mark properly broke down- he was still pretty stable when he was talking to jaebum. i have to finish this story by 16/09 so i guess there will be more frequent updates and even if i don't, friday updates will always happen. i feel like i've been saying this for a while HAHA.

i have a few ideas for the next story after this but i haven't decided yet. for now, it's just this and you may check out my markyeon gallery, story ideas moodboards might be posted. sometimes prompts for you guys too. see you again on friday maybe!

peace again! ddeokbxkki <3