The chirping of birds woke me up the next morning. I opened my eyes and took in a deep breath. Thank god it didn’t rain during the night. The sun was just above the horizon. The rays of sunlight shone down across everything in its path, painting them in a shade of orange and purple.

I turned and saw Hoseok still sound asleep, though he’d stopped snoring by now. Usually, I’d let him sleep a bit more. But I wanted him to watch this sunrise with me. Gently, I put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a shake.

“Hey, Hoseok,” I called softly, “Time to get up.”

When he didn’t budge, my heartbeat quickened and I started to panic. I shook him again, harder this time. Still, he didn’t move. His eyes remained closed.

“Hoseok, please,” I began to sob, “Wake up!”

I turned him over and he slumped into my arms, unmoving. His eyelids didn’t even flutter when I called out his name. I cradled his head in my arms. I caressed his face, pushing strands of hair away from his closed eyes.

“Hoseok…”

I whispered his name over and over again, praying that he’d open his eyes. I gripped his hand tightly, tears trickling down onto his face. His skin remained cold. And I couldn’t feel the heartbeat on his chest.

There was a slight smile plastered on his face, I noticed. The way he looked so peaceful with his eyes closed wrenched my heart in so many ways. Part of me felt comforted that he’s now in a better place, ripped away from all the pain. Part of me was mad about how everything was so unfair. He couldn’t be leaving me. not right now.

“Hoseok…,” I whispered through the tears.

I squeezed my eyes tight. I couldn’t believe that this was the last time I’d ever hold him, be near to him. I thought of the moments that we would never have, memories we’d never make. I imagined the times without him, the fears I’d face. I held him tighter. I really didn’t want to let go. He was all I ever had.

I leaned in close and planted a gentle kiss on his forehead. I pressed my lips softly against him, letting the cold numb me. I have to accept the truth. I have to accept the fact that he was never going to wake up again. I have to accept that from now onwards, there’d be only me. I have to accept…

“Goodbye, my love.”

I whispered into the w