PART 1: MEMORIES AND PROMISES

PART 1 ~ 1

“Hold my hand. I’ll take you somewhere no one has ever been before.”

“Where is that?” I asked.

“Paradise,” he looked back and said with a smile.

                                                                                                                      ~              ~              ~

I let a tear escape from my eye as I thought about him. I did that almost every second of every day. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I couldn’t shut my mind off. How could I? When he had meant the world to me?

               Every memory of us played in my mind, again and again, like a movie repeating itself. I could still see his face, his smile, hear his voice, feel his touch, until I realized I had my eyes closed. I did it again. I had to stop torturing myself. But there was no helping it. I couldn’t do this.

               It had been almost 10 years since I lost him. People would think that I must have move on. Six years is a long long time. Or so they thought. For me, time didn’t even matter. He was gone. He wasn’t around anymore. He wasn’t by my side, like he used to anymore. That was what mattered.

               And I hate that he’d still come visit me time after time. In my mind when I closed my eyes, in my dreams when I tried to sleep. And I hate myself for remembering everything, clear as sky.

~ ~ ~

               We were only 17 when we saw each other for the very first time. I was sitting in the front while he was in the back. We knew each other’s names only after 5 or 6 months.

               We met again in college, where we spent 4 to 5 years there. We were young. We were wild. We were brave. We were 20 when he nervously told me his true feelings for me. That was when I realized my feelings for him.

               A year later, he kissed me on my birthday. We took things really slow, never in a rush. But he had promised me that we would one day walk down the aisle, hand in hand. I laughed, not truly believing