Hoseok was waiting for the two at the bus station when they unboarded. Yoongi went up to him first after they retrieved their luggage and gave him a hug along with a slap on the back. Jimin followed his lead and hugged Hoseok tightly, burrowing his face in the older’s neck. Hoseok ruffled Jimin’s hair and looked at them both.

“So what’s this about dinner?” he asked.

“Anything is fine, we just wanted to spend time with you two. Speaking of which, where’s Tae?” Jimin looked past Hoseok’s shoulder and into the parking lot as if Taehyung would magically appear there.

“He’s at home. His fever went down, but he’s still not feeling that well.” Jimin pouted. “But he made me promise to tell you that he missed you a lot while you were gone and that he’d be waiting for you when you got back.” Jimin’s face lit up at that, so much so that Yoongi had to smile with him.

Hoseok helped them put their luggage into his small car and then they loaded into the car, Yoongi in the passenger seat and Jimin in the back to drive back to his and Taehyung’s apartment. When they got there, Jimin was so excited to see Taehyung that he went straight to their front door, leaving his luggage in Hoseok’s trunk. If Yoongi hadn’t known any better, he would have thought that he and Jimin were the ones in a relationship rather than Taehyung and Hoseok.

“They’ve been best friends since they were seven, went to the same schools and grew up in the same neighborhood. They’re practically brothers. I actually met Taehyung through Jimin.” Hoseok answered Yoongi’s unspoken question as he got Jimin’s stuff.

“How’d that happen?”

“Taehyung came to pick him up from the studio one day and when Jimin introduced us, I remember Tae having the biggest smile and I know it sounds dramatic, but I swear, my heart stopped.”

“Sounds about right. He’s totally your type,” Yoongi said, making Hoseok blush even more than he already was.

When they entered the apartment, Jimin and Taehyung were already on the couch chatting away like they hadn’t seen each other in years. The other two set the bags down by the front door and Hoseok gestured towards the kitchen with a nod. Yoongi followed him and waited as Hoseok pulled out a bottle of vodka and two shot glasses. He knew Yoongi so well.

“What’s the occasion?” Yoongi asked as Hoseok handed him a glass.

“You’re back, you’re alive, and you’re the happiest I’ve seen you in a while. That’s something to drink to.” They clinked their glasses together and knocked them back. At the same time, their faces scrunched as they felt the burn down their throat. They did another round of shots before Hoseok spoke.

“So what’s the deal between you two.” Hoseok lowered his voice and nodded his head towards Jimin.

“Honestly?” I don’t know. I mean I really like him, but…” Yoongi didn’t know how to word what he wanted to say without sounding rude.

“It’s about Jungkook isn’t it?” Hoseok said more as a statement than a question. Yoongi nodded and Hoseok sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. “Even though Jungkook is gone and even though he treated Jimin like absolute , Jimin loved him with everything he had and...I guess it’s been hard for him to recover from that. To get used to not loving like that and to be used to opening up to others.”

“I don’t think that’s necessarily the issue.”

“Then what is?”

“I feel like no matter what I do, he’ll always compare me to Jungkook. He’ll always have a place in his heart for Jungkook or have him in the back of his mind to the point where he’ll never be able to fully be in a relationship with me...or anyone else for that matter.”

“You think he’s not over him?”

“I know he’s not over him. Whenever relationships or anything like that is mentioned, his face falters a bit. He gets sad for a split second and then goes back to his regular, happy expression. He thinks I don’t see it, but I do and…” Yoongi didn’t want to tell Hoseok the rest. He didn’t want to tell Hoseok that it hurt him to know that no matter how much Jimin assured him that he was over Jungkook, that it would never be true. Sure he’d just met Jimin and there was time to back out of whatever they had going on, but Yoongi wasn’t sure if that’s what he wanted either. There was something about Jimin that he didn’t feel with anyone else. He wasn’t even sure if he could feel it with anyone else. So was it better for him to have some of Jimin even if he knew he could never have all of Jimin?

“Then why bother with this?” Hoseok asked, taking another shot.

“Because...I don’t know how to explain it, but Jimin just...when I’m with him, I don’t feel as sad and for once my mind isn’t beating me up and judging me and making me feel guilty, it’s quiet and I can focus. It’s so easy with him, to be around him and talk with him, and-” Yoongi stops and looks over at Jimin who’s now seated next to Taehyung, showing him the Russian nesting dolls he bought him as a souvenir. He’s smiling so widely that his eyes crinkle and even from here, Yoongi can feel his glow. “He just makes me feel okay and I haven’t felt like that in a long time and if there’s a chance I can keep him and make him feel okay too, then I want to try it.”

“And what if he can never give himself fully to you?” Yoongi could hear the frown in Hoseok’s voice. “Don’t you think you deserve better than some half-assed love?” Yoongi was quiet at that and to avoid answering, grabbed the bottle of vodka and drank straight from it until all he could feel was the coolness of the drink instead of the burn.

He set the bottle down on the counter and Hoseok looked at him with a disappointed sigh. “The answer is that you do, Yoongi,” he said and left to go sit with the other two boys. When Taehyung noticed Hoseok’s presence, his face lit up and he excitedly showed him the gift Jimin gave him. Hoseok smiled back and ruffled Taehyung’s hair and Yoongi felt a pit in his stomach starting to form. Would he ever receive that kind of attention from Jimin? His mind wandered back to that night where he had kissed Jimin for the first time. Could he ever have that moment again where it was just him and Jimin or was the moment even like that to begin with? Had Jimin really been into Yoongi or was he comparing it to Jungkook and how much he missed doing things like that with Jungkook?

Suddenly, Yoongi felt angry and wanted to leave and drown his sorrows in a bottle of something stronger than Hoseok’s vodka. He made his way towards the front door and grabbed his bag when Jimin called his name. Yoongi turned just enough to face him.

“Aren’t you gonna stay for dinner?” he questioned with a confused and innocent expression.

“No.”

“But-” Yoongi had already stopped listening and left before Jimin could say anything else. The door closed with a slam and Yoongi stood outside the door, frozen to the spot and his gaze fixed on the ground. He wanted to cry, scream, punch, but instead, he leaned his back against the wall and slid all the way down, defeated.

Meanwhile, Jimin remained still on Hoseok’s couch, staring at the spot where Yoongi had just been. He wondered what would have made him leave so suddenly. He wondered why Yoongi had been so distant on the bus. He wondered why it seemed that every step forward he made to understanding who Yoongi was, he took two steps back and found himself just as confused as he was before.