Jimin had learned very quickly the type of person Yoongi was, so it was easy for him to choose the bar as the first place to search for him. He had a feeling that Yoongi was the one to drown his sorrows in alcohol, much like he himself had done many times because of Jungkook. Before his relationship, he didn’t understand how someone could drink so much so often. Jimin used to think that the acidity of alcohol would be too distasteful for someone to drink continuously for hours on end. He understood those people though after the first night he drank himself to sleep. The burn of the alcohol wasn’t uncomfortable. If anything it served as a focal point for him. Rather than focusing on his issues, he was able to focus on the sting everytime he swallowed a mouthful of whatever poison he’d chosen for that night. Hangovers were another thing he didn’t understand but soon figured it out. It the first few times, but it was like his body adjusted to it because of how often he drank. After a few months, he stopped getting hangovers and instead woke up with the bitter taste of alcohol and the salt of his tears on his tongue.

When Jimin arrived at the restaurant, he beelined for the bar area where he immediately recognized Yoongi’s blonde hair. He was hunched over in his seat with a bottle of clear liquor next to him. Jimin sat on the stool next to Yoongi, who was zoned out and staring at the wooden, bar counter.

“Yoongi?” Jimin said gently.

“What?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be.” He reached for the bottle and poured himself a shot before downing it in one go.

“What?”

“I said,” Yoongi turned around on his stool to face Jimin, “you don’t have to be sorry.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s my fault.”

“I don’t understand.” Yoongi sighed and rubbed his face tiredly.

“It’s my fault for letting my guard down and letting you get close to me. I usually don’t do that with people cause they usually disappoint me. In fact, I think Hoseok and Taehyung are the only exceptions to that rule. Everyone else has left me or reminded me of why I stopped giving a in the first place.” He turned back to his shot glass and poured another one.

“You’re wrong,” Jimin said sadly. “I treated you unfairly by making you open up to me when I didn’t reciprocate. You didn’t have to do that, but you did, for some reason. And it’s only fair that if you trust me enough to let your guard down, that I should do the same because I feel the same way.”

“What are you talking about?” Another shot.

“I’m saying that I trust you too, Yoongi. I don’t know why because we haven’t known each other long, but…when I talk to you about things, you seem so vulnerable and understanding and it makes you easy to talk to. And…I think I feel the same way about you the way you feel about me…” Yoongi took another shot as if he wasn’t even listening to Jimin, who was now growing frustrated at Yoongi’s behavior. He snatched the bottle from Yoongi and held it in his fist.

“Hey!” Yoongi shouted.

“I’m trying to tell you that I like you and all you care about is this ing booze?” Jimin shouted back. A few heads turned towards them but looked away when they realized there was no threat. It was the first time Yoongi had heard him curse.

Jimin didn’t scream because he was angry with Yoongi, but because he was scared. He hadn’t expressed his feelings for anyone else before or after Jungkook and he was terrified. His heart pounded in his chest and his hands began to shake because of the adrenaline going through him.

“What?” Yoongi was thrown off by Jimin’s sudden confession and was having an even harder time processing it with all of the alcohol in his system.

“Forget it.” Jimin passed the bottle back to Yoongi and stood up to leave, but Yoongi caught his wrist.

“What did you say?” Yoongi asked again.

“Let me go, Yoongi.”

“No, you wanted to talk, so talk. I’m listening.” Jimin sighed.

“Fine, but not here. We need to talk about this in private.” Jimin glanced around the restaurant and saw that a few people were still glancing over at their direction. Yoongi nodded and turned to pay the bartender before standing up to leave. He wobbled a bit as he did so and Jimin quickly reached out to catch Yoongi by his arm with a scolding expression.

Jimin didn’t let go of Yoongi until they reached their room and when he did, Yoongi stumbled to his bed where he slid down against the mattress and rested on the floor. Jimin sat down against his bed too, across from Yoongi. He pulled his legs up against his chest and wrapped his arms around them, resting his chin on his knee.

“Did you mean it?” Yoongi asked him, breaking the silence first. Jimin looked up at him.

“Did I mean what?”

“Did you mean it when you said you liked me.”

“Yes…or at least I think I do…I don’t know, it’s confusing for me.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve never liked anyone else besides Jungkook. He was my first boyfriend, my first love, and my first heartbreak. I don’t know what it feels like to love someone else besides him…and that scares me.” Jimin noticed Yoongi’s expression with his glazed over eyes and pouted lips as he tried to fight the alcohol coursing through his system.

Jimin was nervous again and didn’t know how to continue without making it sound like he didn’t know if he wanted Yoongi or not. He knew he did, or at least wanted to try Yoongi because even though he was hesitant, he couldn’t deny how he felt around him. Nor could he deny how much he seemed to want to be around him in the first place.

“What if I kissed you?” Yoongi suggested.

“What?”

“What if I kissed you?”

“Why?”

“Well, if you don’t like me, you’ll push me away. But if you do, then…” Yoongi shrugged.

“Aren’t you drunk?”

“Oh please, not nearly drunk enough. I’ve done much more than just kissing with much more than a few shots of vodka in my system,” he said nonchalantly as he leaned forward onto his knees and crawled towards Jimin. He kneeled down in front of him and reached up to cup Jimin’s cheek.

“Ready?” he asked gently. Jimin nodded nervously and Yoongi leaned in.

At first, Jimin was frozen with Yoongi’s lips pressed against his, but once he adjusted to what was happening, he kissed him back. He could taste the alcohol on Yoongi’s tongue, but it didn’t bother him. His focus was on the warmth he felt spreading throughout his body and the feeling of butterflies in his stomach. Yoongi too was completely lost in the feeling, focusing on the softness of Jimin’s lips and the eagerness in his movements. Jimin had stretched his legs out and was leaning into Yoongi now, his arms wrapping around Yoongi’s neck to be closer to him.

Yoongi’s style of passion always included a slight, dominating undertone, so it was a surprise to Jimin when he reached up, grabbed a fistful of Jimin’s hair and lightly tugged his head back to expose his neck. Jungkook had done this plenty of times to Jimin, but it was different from now. When Jungkook did it, he was careless and rough, but Yoongi’s touch was careful and purposeful even in his drunken state. He kissed along Jimin’s throat to find his sensitive spot and once he did, he and at his skin. Jimin tangled his fingers in Yoongi’s hair while small whimpers sounded from him as Yoongi moved down to his collarbones.

Jimin had never felt so cared for as he did now. He could tell Yoongi was taking his time and being attentive to his body, and if he was being honest, he didn’t want the moment to end. There was no more doubt in his mind about letting Jungkook go and no more doubt about his feelings for Yoongi. He knew that if he hadn’t felt the same way, he wouldn’t have let it get this far, but instead, he wanted to take it further. Yoongi did too, but he knew it shouldn’t be this way. He wanted to make the first time between them more special than getting caught up in the moment and not having any self-control because he was drunk. So it took everything in him to pull away from Jimin and stop himself from going any further.

“I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?” Jimin immediately apologized, his expression like a deer caught in headlights. His cheeks were pink from excitement and his lips were swollen from Yoongi’s teasing.

Yoongi smiled widely, showing his gums and looked down into his lap with a small laugh. It was the first time Jimin had seen Yoongi look so genuinely happy.

“No, Jimin, you’re perfect. I stopped because we shouldn’t…do it this way.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if we go further than this, I want it to be special. I wanna be sober and I want you to want it as much as I do. I mean, clearly you like me,” Yoongi said as he glanced at Jimin’s lap with a smirk. Jimin’s cheeks got redder and he shoved Yoongi in embarrassment, “but I want it to mean more than just a dare kind of situation. I want it to mean something.” Now it was Yoongi’s turn to blush because he was allowing himself to feel honest and vulnerable with Jimin on a level he’d never experienced before.

“I understand,” Jimin said with a smile.