Jackson's POV

It is Saturday morning, 1 pm. And I am standing in front of the door step of the room 103. Well I have been standing here for almost one hour already but I still couldn’t find a courage to knock a door or leave there like a coward.

God dammit. I shouldn’t be here. He wouldn’t like it.

Yea, Jinyoung would not want to see me. I am not sure if he is inside. But one thing I am sure is that he does not want to see me standing here when he opens the door or when he come back from outside.

He hates me already. Well, he should hate me because I left him.

I did leave him because I felt like I don’t deserve him anymore. What he gives is much bigger and too much for me when I can’t give him anything back. I didn’t treat him right while I should have.

I thought it was a burden to receive his love when I cannot love him more. But leaving him broken is also a burden, the much burden that wraps around my neck telling me to go back to Jinyoung every night.

I felt like a careless painter to his masterpiece or the reckless gardener who accidentally cut the flower he likes the most in his garden.

I know it’s late. Of course, one year is just too late to turn everything back.But I’ll try. I will try to win Jinyoung back…because he is the grace to my misery.

Yes, everything is going to be fine. I breathe in and out before I knock the door to see if someone’s inside. If the person who opens the door is Jaebum, not Jinyoung, then I am sure I will be in the unnecessary fight. I know Jaebum is playing the big brother role…but I don’t care anymore. I am going to knock the door.

My hand was almost hit the door when someone opens it from the inside. And it reveals that brown hair and almond eyes.

Jinyoung.

For the moment, I feel so happy and at the same time I feel so terrible to show up like this. My eyes shift from head to toe. He looks good. Very fine. And if I am not wrong, he grows a bit taller. His eyes look the same but they seem brighter.

I lost my words seeing him there. I have already prepared for this moment but my heart skips faster than I thought it would be. And also, I feel my heart sinks when his bright eyes go dark. His face turns cold and he turned around closing the door. No…no, please don’t go.I hold the door so strong that he couldn’t close.

I come here for you Jinyoung. Please…

I wanted to speak out loud but I don’t want to cause any drama to his perfect day.

“Why are you here?” he asked. That voice… damn that’s the voice that I miss for a year. But I thought it was softer in the past. I am pretty sure he does not want to see me or talk to me. His eyes are on the floor staring into nothing. He does look sad. And I am the cause of it.

I don’t know if I could ever forgive myself.

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