Irene state more stable, her face is not pale anymore, her lips back red, her appetite has started to improve. The oxygen and infusion hose had been released, the doctor said two or three days ahead, Irene was allowed to go home. Eight days I was in hospital with her. Irene does not let me go, Irene is afraid I'm disappearing again. Even when I have to eat, she asks her friends or parents, to bring me food. Totally, I just moved around the room and she just let me go to the bathroom.

Three days later, Irene was able to go home. Her parents asked me to accompany Irene until she was completely healed, as did Irene who nagged at me to sleep in her home, guarding her. Helpless, I can not refuse their request.

"Glad to be home, I miss this room", I was the first time to Irene's house. The house is huge, even Irene's room is bigger than my rented house. I feel strange, why she likes to sleep in my house.

"Why just silent" Irene asked when she saw me just sitting pensived on the sofa.

"Your room is bigger than my rented house" I laughed. Irene just smiled, she waved her hand to ask me to come closer.

"But, you are not at here, I sleep soundly if sleeping in your house, hug you" my cheeks flushed at the words.

"Sleep here, you must be very tired, keep me eight days in hospital", I smiled at her, "I change clothes first".

I take a break beside Irene, my eyes feel so heavy, "I want to sleep a little, wake me up if you need something," Irene nodded, then lie down with me. We both slept.

The next day, her friends came to visit her. I told Irene wanted to see my rented house first, initially she did not allow it, I told her it would not be long and would come back as soon as possible. Jane drove me home, even though I refused.

"Irene back to health, I'm glad she got cheerful again" said Jane, smiling at me. I just nodded, I thanked her for taking me. Jane did not say much, she was a quiet woman type, and was able to control her emotions, beautiful and nimble. Her hair is short shoulder length, maroon red. This was the first time, Jane and I had been together and chatted along the way.

I met grandmother Lim, it was a relief because the rental house still vacant, and my stuff was packed up to be sent to my hometown. My phone rang, "You just say a moment" Irene sulked.

"I just arrived, Irene, are they still there?" I opened the cardboard in front of me.

"Yeah, do you want to be picked up?" She asked me to go home immediately.

"No need, I want to tidy up some of my stuff first, you talk first with your friends, okay" came the sound of her breath. I hung up the phone.

I started to open all the boxes, and put my things back together. It does not feel like it's been four hours, and the phone rings again, "my driver picks you up, he's here, see him right away, and go home!", Geez .. sometimes, I'd love to hit her. I immediately cleaned up and went to Irene’s home. I went into Irene's room, she was watching at the TV when she saw me, she turned off the TV.

"Long time" she snatched "had your dinner already?" I nodded. I jumped onto the mattress, and kissed her on the cheek.

"I used to work from morning till night, you are not spoiled like this, I just left you a few hours and you do not stop chat and call me". Irene leaned against me, "I'm afraid you left me again".

I ruffled her hair. "Sleep, do not stay awake".

I got off the mattress and turned off the light.

Irene hugged me and bit my ears.

I smiled at her, half opened my eyes "Can not sleep?".

Irene looked at me. "Rain, about the letter. Can we discuss it now? "I straightened my hair, drank water and sat beside her.

"What are you asking?" Irene looked at me doubtfully, "Since when are you gay?".

"From childhood, I prefer to play with my male friends, play soccer on the beach or bike races, my father raise me like a boy, I learn taekwondo, my nature becomes more masculine. When I was in middle school, I began to realize that a girl should be more feminine, where I knew Levi, we started close, I started to lengthen my hair, and wearing a skirt, like Levi. "I smiled as I warmed up my memories and told Irene everything.

"When I was in high school, I realized that I did like a girl more than a guy. There was a female friend, classmate with me, very beautiful, I kept watching her, feeling strange, why I like her, my heart pounding at the sight of her smile, and I tremble while talking to her. I realize, I'm gay. At first, I was not sure, then I told Levi. She was shocked, but she told me she did not care if I was gay or not. "

Irene getting serious about seeing me "what only Levi knows? What about your parents? ".

"I confess to my parents that I am gay, my father is very angry with me, he hit me and slapped me, my mouth was bleeding, my cheeks hurt so bad, my ears buzzing. I cried leaving home, I slept in the house of Levi for a few days. ". Irene grabbed my hand, rubbing my finger "are they kicking you out?".

I shook my head "My mother called me and asked me to go home, at first I was afraid, my father was never that bad, I'm afraid my father hit me again. When I got home, my mom and dad were waiting for me in the living room. My father apologized for hitting me, my mother hugged me, she said whatever you decide, they will always support me, it's just I have to be sure first, whether I am really gay or it's just my teen hormone. They no longer questioned my choice of being gay, but they asked that I not be reckless, because my place was still conservative. I promise to them, will not make them embarrassed. At the end I wanted to graduate from school, my father died when the accident, while my mother only lasted a few hours in the hospital, then followed my father" I took a deep breath, remember about my parents really hurt my heart.

Irene leaned on my shoulder, "am I your first love?". I was still silent, she turned her face to me, I saw her, drowned in my bright brown eyes "I think so, I’m sorry".

We silent for a moment, Irene fixed her seat, she saw me "I'll forgive you, but you know I just think you're as a best friend, nothing more. I feel weird, a girl likes another girl. Sorry Rain, I love you, but only as a best friend, as I love Kein, Aubrey, Laura and Jane. It's just that my love for you is bigger. "

I closed my eyes, my heart was hit and made my heart stop beating. I know this will happen, but I'm really not ready with this rejection. For a moment, I paused. I took a deep breath, trying to be tough.

"No need to apologize to me, Irene. I'm guilty, for mixing my feelings on our friendship, now I'm relieved, you know everything, I'll try to forget you, even though it's not easy. I just need time. Better we sleep, it's late "

Irene nodded, we lay in silence, I closed my eyes, though could not sleep. I pretended to be asleep. I slightly shifted my body away from Irene, nearby, I was really tormented.

I woke up before Irene woke up, I cleaned my body, changed my clothes, I set my clothes on my suitcase. Moments later, Irene wakes up "why do not you wake me up" she's getting out of bed walking towards me. She hugged me from behind "good morning" she kissed my neck, I release her embrace "good morning Irene".

I closed my suitcase, then moved away from her, sitting on the couch, I checked some things in my bag "I'm going home today, you're very healthy, but remember to take care of yourself, understand".

Irene looked at me "is it just my feeling or you are acting weird this morning, cold". I smiled at her.

"Just your feeling" she shook her head, "You do not like my answer, right?" Irene stepped closer to me, sitting beside me.

"I appreciate your decision, Irene. We are friends and nothing more. Give me time to move on. It's not as easy as turning a palm. "

Irene looked upset "I do not understand, nothing will change between us, Rain."

I looked at her "Irene, it is my heart that must change."

Irene twisted her forehead, I continued "Irene, I've been holding on, keeping my feelings for you, two years is not a short time. But, I'm at the limit, where I have to stop loving you, because my love is obviously one side love. Irene, I appreciate your decision, although this is not easy for me, but we have to start giving the distance to our relationship so I do not misunderstand. "

Irene rolled her eyes "spaced out? What do you mean?"

I know it's not easy to convince Irene "for a while, I forbid you to sleep in my house, last night was our last night sleeping together, if we wanted to meet, we would meet outside. And I hope we also reduce our skinship, do not often kiss and hug, do you understand? ".

Irene's face flushed "I do not understand, why you limit it, all this is fine."

I'm a bit emotional because Irene sounds selfish "I'm not okay, Irene, I can not get too close to you for this moment. How can I forget my feelings, if you are always around me. It has become my decision, I appreciate your decision, and I want you to respect my decision ".

Irene stands up, she opens the window curtain, the sun goes into the room "why do we have to do something stupid by limiting our friendship, IT'S YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ME, IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR LOVING ME, IT'S YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU'RE GAY !!!"

I was shocked to hear her shouting, I could not keep my emotions "okay, this is my fault, for loving the wrong people! I'm gay and why? If you feel uncomfortable with it, leave me, stop seeing me, stop to hurt you by not eating and worrying everyone. Stop being a selfish girl, I also have a heart, I can feel pain, not merely I have to obey all your desires. Stop hurting me with your rude words "

My tears flowing, I grab my bag, I walk and take my suitcase. Irene ran towards me and pulled my arm.

"Rain, you know I do not mean to insult you. Rain..rain .. I'm just annoyed, I'm sorry I'm sorry ".

I let go of her hand "Irene enough, I will not leave you, I'm still your friend, and we can meet as usual, but please .. release me, you suffocate me".

Irene let go of her hand "you promise will not leave me again?".

I nodded. I say goodbye to her. "Are not you going to kiss me?" Irene asked piteously, I shook my head, "goodbye, Irene".