2017

CHOI RAE SUNG

I heard it all.

And I knew I shouldn’t have.

I hid behind the door as Jennie stepped out of the room.

She didn’t look back when she walked away.

I wanted to follow her and ask what that was about.

But I felt I didn’t have the right to.

I was still standing there when One hyung appeared.

He couldn’t be bothered to look back, either.

Invisible.

That was me in this situation.

A confused mess of thoughts, I found myself walking towards the exit.

And that day, I didn’t end up going to the studio.

.

.

.

2017

JENNIE

I asked our manager to drop me off at Raesung’s dorm the night we arrived.

Carrying bags of snacks from Japan, I pressed the doorbell.

One of his roommates, a boy about his age who couldn’t seem to close his mouth in shock as he saw me, said he went up to the rooftop.

I followed the directions he gave and was lead to a windy terrace overlooking the city.

I was admiring the scenery when I caught a glimpse of Raesung sitting by the ledge, swinging his feet past the railing.

There were empty green bottles on the floor behind him.

Has this boy been drinking?

“Ya, Raesung-ah.” I called out.

He doesn’t turn around.

“Raesung-ah, I brought you something.”

I strode closer to him.

“You okay over there?”

He doesn’t respond.

“Ya, Choi Rae Sung!” I grabbed his shoulder to get him to look at me.

He jolted at my touch and turned around.

Then his mouth pulled up to a smile.

He yanked me down into a hug, causing me to drop the bags I was carrying.

“Ouch, ouch, alright, alright, okay Raesung-ah,” I patted his back, “I’m here. I’m here, you can let go now.”

He suddenly burst into laughter.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, confused.

“Strange choice of words, noona,” 

“What?”

“Let go?” he paused, “Of you? That’s funny.”

He looked up to the sky.

“What are you even talking about?” I asked, “Why are you out here drinking by yourself?”

He doesn’t answer.

Then he opened a new bottle of soju and offered it to me, 

“Want some?”

I sat down beside him, taking the bottle,

“Stressed out?” 

He smiled.

“A penny for your thoughts?” I asked.

“Hmmmm,” he wiped off his mouth with his jacket sleeve, “Mind if I asked you something instead?”

I looked at him suspiciously, examining his face for any sign of mischief.

I took a swing at the bottle of soju, “Shoot.”

“You and Hanbin hyung… “ he cleared his throat,