‘Chaeng’ 

 

Hesitation wasn’t inside her but the fear was. The unpleasant emotion build inside her with all the thoughts of Chaeyoung would rant at her or shout any words that would strike her in the heart. 

 

But what was she thinking? She was just being sentimental about it. It clearly showed that she was some sort of traumatized. Mina didn’t want the drama scene to rewind by itself again. She wanted to find peace. So did Chaeyoung. 

 

“H-hello Chaeyoung..” 

 

“Hi Mina” 

 

His voice. Oh his voice. She missed it. But.. but why didn’t he call her like the way he used to? Why didn’t he use Minari? 

 

She didn’t respond. She didn’t know know what to say. It felt awkward. She even had to pull her car to the side to focus on her phone conversation with him. 

 

“What are you doing?” 

 

“Driving.. don’t worry I pulled over” knowing that Chaeyoung always put safety arrangement first. 

 

“Good.. so how are you?” 

 

“Me?.. have not even smiled once since we fought” 

 

She heard him sigh. 

 

“Mina” 

 

For some reason she didn’t fancy him calling her that way, by the full name. Had she become like Sana? 

 

“..yes?” 

 

“Would you like to come home? And talk things out” 

 

‘Come home? Come home!! ‘

 

Yes of course she would love to. But to talk things out? Why all of a sudden she had a bad feeling about it? To come home was already a good news, but to talk things out? What did he mean by that? To solve things? To clear all the problems? But why was the bad feeling occupying her mind? 

*************** 

 

Mina stepped out from her car after arriving. Arrived where? Her house of course. Her house, Chaeyoung’s house, their house. Oh it’s good to be home. 

 

She proceeded to the front door. But she stopped. 

 

Why did she stop? Well, she had the keys to herself. It’s her house too. But thinking about it again, should she just ring the doorbell? But what if when she enters and what was she supposed to do? Act all normal? 

 

Busy having multiple thoughts in her head, the door swung open suddenly. 

 

“You’re here” 

 

It’s Chaeyoung. It’s her Chaeng! She felt like wanting to jump on her feet and threw herself at him but she couldn’t. He wasn’t even smiling. Not even a tiny curl. Wasn’t he content seeing her? 

 

“Welcome home” he made way. “Come on in” 

 

Mina obliged. She stepped into her own house. But she felt like awkward and strange. Like that wasn’t even her house. 

 

He closed the door and extended his hand out towards her. 

 

“What?” she asked with her eyebrows jumped 

 

“Your cardigan and handbag” he replied 

 

Oh. She got what he meant. She removed her cardigan and handbag, and handed it to him. She watched him went to hang her cardigan at the coat rack and her handbag placed firmly on the table. Why was he acting like that? 

 

So they headed to the living room. Her sensitive nose caught an aroma. It was inviting. On the dining table, there were two plates of kimchi fried rice. But what caught her eyes more was the colour of the plates and its utensils. Pink colour. 

 

“I made your favourite” he spoke. He pulled the chair, “Come sit. Let’s have dinner together” 

 

He sat the opposite her. He took his fork and spoon, and feasted himself. 

 

“I just want us to have a normal dinner together. Let’s push things to the side first and eat” said Chaeyoung without looking. 

 

She blinked her eyes twice before joining him. Food was extremely delicious. As expected, from his hands, everything is delightful. Even thought the highly pleasant taste in , but yet her mind was occupied with thoughts. 

 

‘What is he going to do?’ 

 

‘What did he mean by talking things out?’ 

 

‘..break up?’ 

******************** 

 

Mina was happy, because Chaeyoung cooked her dinner. Despite all the problems they were facing, he willingly pushed everything aside and just have the main meal of the day with her.  

 

She was in the living room, he went upstairs. He said to her that he will be back in a minute. She had no clue for his reason. 

 

Mina observed the living room. A little messy. No one had done any cleaning in the house yet. So she started organizing some magazines on the table to kill her time. 

 

Not for long, he came down. He had something in his hand but he hid it. 

 

“Let’s sit” he said 

 

She ensued. They sat on the sofa beside each other, with a little gap in between. She held her hands on her thigh with full of curiousity. 

 

“As we know, a lot of things have occurred lately. And it gave us an impact” he had his elbows on his knees while holding something tightly. 

 

Chaeyoung resumed, “In between the chaos, I took the time to think and to consider the situation we’re having. Trust me, Mina. It has been hard for me. This is something that not everyone faces in reality. At first I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know how to react. But anger boiled inside me after seeing the pills. You understand why I was angry don’t you? I was mad because you betrayed me. I thought we both were on the same page to have kids but you were not. You were enjoying yourself with the drug while I was stupidly waiting for you to say ‘I’m pregnant’” 

 

“At first I did suspected you to take any protection but I decided to just push the thoughts away because I trusted you. I didn’t wanna have any doubt on you but actually I was right. That is why I snapped, Mina. Because you lied to me” 

 

“..Chaeyoung..” 

 

“I’m not done yet” he breathed in and revealed the content his hand. 

 

Mina dropped her jaw slightly when she saw the Contraceptive Pill bottle in his hand. He set it on the table. 

 

“C-Chaeng, what are you doing?” 

 

“That’s why I said it was hard for me to make a decision, Mina. And I’ve come to a conclusion that I shouldn’t just think about myself and care only my feelings. As a husband my role is really important. I must make you happy and love you till death do us apart. If that’s what my vow was to you when we got married, then I’ll not break my vow. I don’t want you to be sad or worry about anything. I want you to have the peaceful life, the way you want it to be. If your career is really important to you, then I shall let you just continue taking it if you want to. This time, I won’t object” 

 

He pushed the bottle towards her, “There are still some left in the bottle. Not all of them were spilled out” 

 

“Stop it Chaeyoung just stop it!” she cried. “What changed you?” 

 

“I’m just giving you permission so that you can take the pills” 

 

Mina didn’t blink her eyes not even once. What exactly is going on? Why is he acting like this? How come he can agree the fact that she doesn’t want kids but he does? 

 

“But Chaeyoung..” 

 

“Just take it Mina. I know how much you love your career” 

 

Mina grabbed the bottle, opened the cap and spilled out all its contents. The leftover pills fell out heartlessly dropping to the floor. She threw the bottle to the side and shot him with her teary eyes. 

 

She cupped his face, “Look at me Chaeyoung. Don’t change your mind, please. Why must you do this?” 

 

“Because I wanna care about how you feel either. If you prioritize your body so much than others, just take the pills” Chaeyoung avoided her eye contact 

 

“Chaeng” she tried pulling his gaze back to her. “I don’t want to” 

 

“Please Mina. I’ve made my decision already. If that’s what will make you happy, then I’m happy” 

 

“What if you’re not?” she looked deep into his eyes. “Don’t pretend if you can’t bear it, Chaeyoung” 

 

He pulled hands away from cupping his face. He turned away with a sigh looking downwards where the pills were thrown all over the floor. 

 

He hung his head low, “All I just want is for you to be happy” 

 

“Then give me happiness. I want our normal relationship back. Like before this how we used to be lovey dovey all over each other” 

 

She set her palm on his hand, “Before I even took the pills” 

 

He lifted his head after hearing that statement. He faced her, “What did you say?” 

 

“Chaeyoung” she gripped his hand tightly with a small smile. “I want to have kids with you” 

 

He froze on his spot with his mouth opened a little. 

 

“Forget about the pills. I don’t care about my career. All I care is you. Let’s have babies, Chaeng. Lots and lots of babies” 

 

The corner of his lips starting to curl a little as she spoke more and more about having a family. “Isn’t that what you want?” she tilted her head. 

 

He stammered, “Y-y-yes! B-but how about you?” 

 

She finally revealed her gummy smiles, “If you’re happy, then I’m happy” 

 

She pushed herself forward to enter his embrace. Oh it was so comfortable. She missed making skinships with him especially just a simple normal hug. She can tell that he was excited hearing her decision of wanting to have a baby because he was stunned. Then, she felt a soft pair of lips pressing agaist the side of her head. 

 

“You know I’ve been having a hard time to accept you taking pills but you simply decided that you want to have kids” 

 

“I don’t want to be selfish anymore. I don’t want to lie to you and break your heart ever again” 

 

“Are you serious about it, Mina? Don’t feign for me” they separated from the hug and let him to caress her cheek 

  

“I can’t do things my way, Chaeng. You’ve waited for three years and yet you put all your trust on me but I didn’t spill the beans. It’s not the right way if you even let me to continue taking the pills. You’re my husband. You rule our lives, Chaeng” 

 

She resumed, “And please stop calling me Mina” 

 

He burst into a chuckle, “What? You sound like Sana you know. You don’t like it when I call you like that?” 

 

“No” she shook her head. “I don’t like it anymore. It reminds me of the day when we fought. The way you screamed my name” 

 

“Oh..” he quickly pulled her back into his embrace while lying against the sofa. “I’m sorry for shouting at you, pengu” 

 

She smiled in the crook of his neck, “Much better. Oh it’s good to be back with you. At first I thought you were going to break up with me, Chaeng” 

 

“Nonsense. Don’t ever think of something like that. I will never let you go” 

 

She set her head on his arm looking at him, “Even though I’ve done the biggest mistake ever to you?” 

 

He nodded, “I don’t care how many or how big the mistakes you’ve done to me, even in the future. I still want to spend the rest of my lifetime with you, Minari” 

 

She stared into his eyes as he did the same. It wasn’t a staring contest. They just felt that it was romantic to look into each other’s eyes for a moment. Because from there, they found love inside it. The love that they’ve been sharing and pouring with one another. The love that never shed away. 

 

With her thumb, she caressed his lips softly. She missed it so much. His pink soft lips. His kissable lips. She trailed his lip from side to side. He giggled a little because it tickled. 

 

“Kiss me” he said 

 

She pulled his chin and pressed her lips on his. She can feel fireworks blasting inside her because she had been yearning for his lips, his skin and his body. His hand gently pushed her head towards him to glue their lips even more. It clearly showed that he had been longing for her too. 

 

Without breaking the kiss, he slowly pushed her forward and made her to lie down on the sofa. He hovered her with her legs in between his. By using his elbows he supported himself as he held her head and brought the kissing session to another level. The night grew older as they spent each second with a romantic prec