Jisoo realizes the quiet atmosphere that suddenly occurs. She looks up to assure what is going on with Jinyoung and shocked. He frowns, showing nothing but sadness on all of his face as she sees tears trailing oh his cheek.

The sight of it suddenly tightens her chest, leaving only a tiny gap in between. She feels the pain is even worse than that last time when he cried in front of her after Inkigayo’s dinner.

Jisoo carefully cups his face in her hand and tiptoes, reaching his eyes. Then slowly, softly, kisses Jinyoung’s cheek.

It lasts less than 5 seconds, but both of them feel that eternity has embraced them.

It isn’t what Jisoo wants to do; it’s out of reflect and her body just moves on her own. It’s her heart, telling every single part of her body to embrace him. It’s the angel inside her; giving her happiness away because the man who is now crying in front of her needs them.

Jinyoung knows exactly the feeling of her lips on his cheek; the soft peck that pulls back all of his senses to the ground. He slowly opens his eyes to find two worried eyes looking at him.

“Don’t cry, please,” Jisoo shivers. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

The same word, he curses. The same ing’ word.

“Why do you do this, Jisoo? Why are you trying to be nice to me and ended up keeping me away from liking you in the end? That’s not fair. It hurts me to see you trying hard when I can’t even tell you how much I like you.” Tears pool up to Jinyoung’s eyes.

“What is it Jisoo? What’s the reason?”

“I’m sorry,” Jisoo stammers. “But you can’t like me, Jinyoung-ah.”

Jisoo pauses, trying to find the right reason.

“Because I like you,” Jisoo whispers. She looks at his eyes, pleading. If lying won’t keep him away, then let him know the truth, Jisoo thinks.

Jinyoung’s heart skips a beat. Is he hearing this right? Is she trying to play with his heart again? But her eyes show nothing but kindness and his mind can’t think straight. Jinyoung moves closer, keeping his heartbeats in a steady rhythm. He knows exactly what he needs to do; he needs to kiss her.

He opens his mouth a little and kisses Jisoo deeply. It feels the same from the last time; soft and warm. He keeps pushing his lips on her to feel every part of her lips and slowly moves closer, decreasing any gap between them.

The sudden act from Jinyoung creates another reason for Jisoo to lose her senses. She can’t help it; she misses him too much. Everything is right and is not about the kiss; is the realization of how much she had missed him.

Jisoo raises her hand and grabs Jinyoung’s nape. She kisses him back, fighting every crazy reason to keep her away from him. The sudden movement from Jisoo pushes him to do her even more. He pulls her closer and motions her body to the couch. They sit on it, holding on to each other.

Jinyoung continues to kiss her lips. He grabs the side of Jisoo’s waist and cups her hand with his other hand. Then something hits Jisoo, giving her strength to push Jinyoung away.

“Stop,” Jisoo moves her head back a little. “We can’t do this.”

Jinyoung stares at her, studying her face. He prevents himself from talking and decides to ignore what she said, moving his head closer to kiss her again.

Jisoo uses both of her hand to push Jinyoung’s chest. “We can’t do this, Jinyoung-ah.”

“Why?” Jinyoung furiously asks. “Why can I kiss the woman I like?”

Jisoo’s eyes break in tears for the hundredth time tonight. “Jinyoung-ah, you can’t like me. We can’t be together.”

“Why the hell we can’t be together, Jisoo? You’re making me crazy right now.” His tone changes to a harder, scarier version of it. “You told me you like me.”

“Because of everything,” Jisoo screams. “Because of all the hates and bad comments people have been saying about me.”

Jisoo pants and cries her heart out. She needs to tell him, to end this.

“Don’t you know how many times people telling me I wasn’t good enough, that Blackpink is better without me? How my dance doesn’t improve and I lack talent?

“It doesn’t matter if I like you or not. I’m far from perfect, Jinyoung. I’m not good for you, I’m-

“Are you crazy?” Jinyoung cuts in. “Why do you care about them?

“You’re far from perfect because you’re a human being. And I like you because you are who you are. I don’t care what people say”

“You don’t understand, Jinyoung,” Jisoo speaks, “It’s not them, it’s you who I care about.”

Jinyoung keeps looking at her face, trying not to get angry with the fact of leaving her in misery all this time.

“Can’t you see? My imperfections will cause so much damage to your life, Jinyoung. They will judge you for having me in your life. They will start to spread the hate and I can’t let your fans hate you because of me,” Jisoo looks at Jinyoung with pleading eyes.

Jisoo pants and cries. She hates how Jinyoung doesn’t understand this, just like everyone.

“Have you ever look at yourself in the mirror?” Jinyoung asks gently. “If you never see your reflection, let me tell you what I’ve been seeing all this time.”

Jinyoung leans in and hugs her waist with both of his arms.

“It’s a beautiful woman, whose eyes giving me comfort every time I had a rough day. A softhearted girl who spends all of her time taking care of the people around her. Everyone recognized her because of her skills in acting this year and every other woman in this country want to be like her.

“If ever someone like me ends up with you, I bet the whole world will get jealous, and tell me how lucky I am.”

“I’m not,” Jisoo breathes harder. “I’m not that.”

“Stop belittling yourself,” Jinyoung strongly grabs her side.

Her heart beats faster; Jisoo has heard this exact structure, tone, and words many times from Jennie. She knows that she’s belittling herself, but she believes is the best for him.

“Just go,” Jisoo deeply wishes. “Please, Jinyoung.”

“I’m not leaving until you believe in me,” Jinyoung replies. “Trust me Jisoo. I’m going to protect you and myself if anything happens. I won’t let anything bad happen to you, or us. I’ll be stronger, so you don’t have to worry about me. We can’t make this work.

“Please, Jisoo. Can you see how miserable I am without you?”

It’s the saddest pair of eyes Jisoo ever notice on Jinyoung’s face. It loses every spark that used to come out every time he’s trying to talk with her, to joke around, to kiss her.

“I want you to be happy, Jinyoung-ah. And it won’t happen if you’re with me.” Jisoo sighs. “Can you like someone else?”

“I can’t,” Jinyoung pants hard. “I ing can’t.”

“Try,” Jisoo speaks louder. “There are prettier, cuter, funnier, less troublesome-“

Jinyoung pulls her body to him and kisses her hard. He bites her lower lip, leaving a moan from his side. He parts their body and stands in front of the couch. And before Jisoo even registers what’s his plan, he lifted her body on his arms and carries her to her bedroom.

“What are you doing, Jinyoung?” Jisoo struggles inside his arms, choosing on whether to push him away or stay safe.

Jinyoung opens the door to her bedroom with anger on his face. He walks to the side of her bed and roughly puts Jisoo on her bed. And in less than a second, he’s already on top of Jisoo, holding on to her wrist so hard.

“We talked a lot in bed before. Maybe this will make you remember how crazy I am about you.”

Jisoo scares at the sounds of his voice. There’s only one source of light in her room, and it’s on the standing lamp across the bed. Not clearly seeing Jinyoung’s face frightens her.

He lowers himself slowly, focusing on her eyes while Jisoo holding on to her breath as she shuts her eyes.

“I love you,” Jinyoung whispers. “I love you so much.”

Jisoo opens his eyes and finds his forehead on hers.

Jinyoung pauses a bit, steadying his heartbeats. He carefully lets his hands away and stands by the bedside. He turns his back, using every strength he has to stop him from crying. He closes his mouth and looks up. But as he immerses himself in his thoughts, tears begin to fall again.

The air he breathes turns cold and sharp, leaving scars on his chest. He cries his heart out, forgetting his pride that he has built all this time.

Seeing Jinyoung makes her recalling every part of her conversation with Jennie.

Isn’t what you had beautiful?

Isn’t he good enough?

You’re hurting him.

Jisoo stands from her bed and hesitantly walks to him. His back looks weak and small, crushing Jisoo to pieces.

She hugs him from behind and rests her head on his back. She gathers the courage she still has and whispers, “I’m sorry.”

Jinyoung heart pounds softly hearing her voice. He holds back his tears once again and asks in a soft voice, “Do you remember your 24^th birthday?”

“You told me over and over again, that I wasn’t allowed to give you any present. It will hurt you, you said.”

Jinyoung holds her hands on his stomach. “So I planned on giving it to Sang Won noona, telling her it’s from your fan.

“But I failed, because Sang Won noona suddenly texted me, saying that you prevented her from receiving anything from me. Do you know I was furious and hated everything at that time? I thought it was stupid of you. So I still bought something for you.

“I brought them with me on the night we met, two weeks after your birthday. I was about to give it to you, to surprise you, but then I saw your smile.” Jinyoung stops for a moment. He releases himself from Jisoo to turn around and meets her eyes.

“I realized how hard you’ve been trying to make everyone happy. To have me forgot my hardships. How your little hands would hold and reassure me that everything is going to be fine.

“So, I promised myself that I won’t let anything hurt you. If my present was going to hurt you, then I wouldn’t give it.”

Jinyoung reaches to Jisoo’s hand and holds it tight. “But, I fail at everything. You cried to everything I said, to the touches I gave. And I never know how much you’ve suffered to protect me. Why is it so complicated? What should I do Jisoo?”

Jinyoung’s hands tremble on hers as she keeps on asking herself, can a man become so weak because of a woman?

As she looks at him, she agrees to herself that Jinyoung’s a real definition of man for her. He hates the girly stuff, the flashy, squishy things that idols usually wear. He will say no to anything he hates and won’t let anyone determine his next move. He can't cry; it's not his nature.

But Jinyoung never pushes anything on her. He may states what he wants, yet let Jisoo decides in the end. He uses every will to joke with her and listes to her endless stories. He woke early and kissed her forehead every time they spent the nights together. Everything about him is perfect, nothing she would do to change it.

Jisoo lets go of her hand and reverses the role. She holds his hands to her chest. “I love you and I know you know.”

“I never imagine myself loving someone as much as I love you. I love you equally as the girls, as my mom and my dad. But, the theory of me loving someone is the same as protecting them at all cost.

“So it scared me, Jinyoung, to picture you in misery. To have your careers crumbling down because of me. Because I know how much you love music and the boys; and every opportunity, you’ll have in the future.

“I thought I did the right thing,” Jisoo inhales loud. “But Jennie kept telling me I’m being mean. That I only hurt you, even though I always think that I was the one who got hurt. So I deny it every time.

“But then I met you. You held me, showing all of the kindness I’ve been missing. Why are you doing this to me Jinyoung? Why is it so hard for me to stop liking you?”

Jisoo cries, letting her voice out. and for the first time, Jisoo lets herself to be this open, to even forget the existence of Jinyoung. Like a forgotten chapter, she opens her heart to him to let him know about her worry. And Jinyoung understands every word in it.

Jinyoung pulls her to his chest, pats her back in a soothing motion.

“Isn’t it weird?” Jinyoung asks. “After ten years of liking you, this is probably the first time ever I feel needed.

“Tell me, what do you really want?”

He waits for her to answer, trying to calm her down with his beating heart.

And she whispers, leaving her fears behind, “I want you to be with me.”

It's actually triple updates. But the next chapter has to wait for a little while (well, a few hours). Be patient and make sure you guys already 18 years old