Jinyoung pushed Jisoo’s back to the couch behind them. His right hand roamed to her waist and grabbed it hard. His other hand was on her face, gently touching it. Jisoo let Jinyoung controlled her body and led the way.

“I miss you,” Jinyoung whispered in between their make-out session.

“Me too,” Jisoo took a breath.

Jinyoung kissed Jisoo a little longer than he normally did. He bit her lower lip and let his tongue slipped in.

He let go after he couldn’t manage to properly breathe. His hands were still touching Jisoo’s face and waist as they apart. He pressed his forehead to hers.

“I miss you more,” Jinyoung whispered and pecked Jisoo’s lip one more time.

He moved his hands away and sat straight to his place.

Jisoo blushed, slightly creating a few shades of pink on her cheeks.

“Liar,” Jisoo moved closer to Jinyoung’s side. “Who’s the one ignoring all of my calls?”

Jinyoung broke the chopsticks and took his first chicken wing. He positioned himself a little to his left as he munched.

“I wasn’t ignoring your calls,” Jinyoung swallowed. “I didn’t carry portable wifi with me in Japan. That’s why I only can call you at night.”

Jisoo stared at Jinyoung as he ate the second chicken wing.

She missed him so much. His schedule in Japan was even tighter than her reality shows’ filming. She rarely talked to him that month.

“I’m sorry,” Jinyoung looked at her eyes.

“I was joking,” Jisoo said and lowered her eyes. “I know you’re busy.”

Jisoo played with her hands on her thighs. Jinyoung noticed her weird behavior that night and in the meeting that afternoon. He didn’t want to admit it, but he actually could guess what was it about. Tonight’s rendezvous was simply because he wanted to talk about that.

“What’s wrong?” Jinyoung spoke after finishing the second piece in his mouth.

“Wrong?” Jisoo looked up again. “What do you mean what’s wrong?”

Jinyoung sighed and put his chopstick down. “Do you think I didn’t notice how awkward you were this afternoon?”

Jisoo averted her eyes from Jinyoung. She’d been hoping he wouldn’t bring that up.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Jisoo gazed back at Jinyoung. “I was tired. That’s why I couldn’t focus.”

“You know,” Jinyoung moved closer to Jisoo. He positioned his left elbow on the couch and directed his hand to her hair. “You’re really bad at lying.”

He caressed her hair. She hated this.

“Tell me exactly what’s wrong,” Jinyoung asked with a serious tone.

Jisoo felt uncomfortable sitting beside Jinyoung. She knew this topic would eventually rise, and if he brought this up, she couldn’t avoid it any longer.

“Is it only me who feels sad about our last episode?” said Jisoo with a hint of sadness in her voice.

He stopped caressing her hair and lowered his hand to grab Jisoo’s hand.

“No, I’m also sad.”

“It doesn’t look like it,” whispered Jisoo. She pulled her hand away and stood up.

She walked away and sat on the farthest side of the bed, showing only her back at Jinyoung.

“I know we talked about this, Jinyoung. I know we agreed to end this relationship by the end of our contract.

Right now, I just need time to get used to the fact it’s going to happen soon.”

Jinyoung stared at her back and desperately held what’s on his mind. He stood up and climbed the bed. He moved closer, dragging his knees and feet on the bed.

“Will it help you to forget about it if I’m also sad? Will it make you happier?” Jinyoung asked.

“It’s not like that,” she turned and met Jinyoung’s eyes. “How am I supposed to be happy about that?”

“But I will do anything to make you forget about it,” Jinyoung explained. “It’s not that I’m not sad. I just don’t want you to see me being sad.”

It’s always like this, Jisoo thought to herself. When she decided to show her emotion to him, Jinyoung flipped the table and made her feel guilty about it.

“Well, that’s not fair,” Jisoo annoyed at Jinyoung. “Now, I look like a selfish girlfriend.”

Jisoo once again tried to walk away from Jinyoung. She rose from the bed and took a step away. But before she could go farther, Jinyoung pulled her hand toward him. He toppled her body and made the both of them fall on the bed.

“Yya!” Jisoo screamed.

She was shocked at the sudden movement. Right now, she was on top of Jinyoung, held tight with both of his arms.

“Don’t move,” he whispered to the top of her head.

“This looks weird, Jinyoung,” Jisoo mumbled to his chest. “Let go of me,” she struggled to get away from his arms.

He needed to put an end to this, he couldn't hold his thought any longer. Jinyoung flipped both of their bodies, trapped Jisoo and grabbed her wrist strongly beside her head.

“You want to know how miserable I am?” Jinyoung began to talk. “It’s hard for me to be away from you every week. To find available nights and meet you in these rooms and watches you laugh to my stories. To banter with you while I know you tried so hard to hide your feelings.

“I realized we only have less than three months to be together. And I’ve been trying to forget about them, every time. Yet I still miss you. So, I need to tell you I missed you. And I would feel unsatisfied so I need to kiss you. I’d drown in madness if I didn’t do any of it, Jisoo. I can’t control my feelings if it’s about you.

“But, you smile at everything. You didn’t get mad at what I did or said. You never asked me for anything. As if I’m the only one who needed this relationship.” Jinyoung paused to breath. “We only have three months left, Jisoo. It’s time for you to be a little selfish.

“Your stupid dating ban. My stupid career. We both know we ed up the moment we started this relationship.” Jinyoung let go of Jisoo’s hands and stood straight. He moved to the side of the bed and sat.

“’We’re both idols’, you told me that. I know how well the consequences are for our careers. Yet I agree with those terms right?” Jinyoung continued to talk.

“We can’t have any feelings following our break up. We need to move on. Our relationship won’t work without Inkigayo, because it’d be hard for us to meet up. And when it’s hard, we’ll need to arrange this kind of nights, call each other, exchange messages. The possibility of us getting caught probably bigger than our chances to make a comeback in a year.

“I remember what we’ve talked about,” Jinyoung closed his eyes for a moment. “We can’t hurt our members and the company.”

“If only I can like you through voices and videos alone,” said Jinyoung, softly.

She remembered them clearly. Because, right before she agreed to try this relationship, they talked about the consequences they might undergo in the future. How bad it would be if the world finds out about them going steady. And the only way that won’t jeopardize everything was to end this before it started to become something serious.

It was stupid, unnecessary yet benevolent. Rather than being happy with a disguise, it was better to live as if it never even ever start from the beginning. Therefore, their hearts wouldn’t understand the meaning of a broken heart and simply moved on.

She understood, yet her heart already betrayed her. She liked him, but it wouldn’t work out.

Jisoo brought her body up and straighten it. She looked at Jinyoung’s back and moved closer.

“I’m sorry,” Jisoo talked to his back.

Jinyoung sighed.

“I told you, you should start being a little selfish.”