Jinyoung lets himself in after Jisoo leaves her in a rush. He sets his belongings on top of Jisoo’s dining table and leaves his beanie and mask. He looks around at her apartment and feels intrigued all of a sudden.

It was a normal one-bedroom apartment no matter how he sees it. The size of it is as big as Jinyoung’s old apartment in Gangnam. The kitchen nicely arranged across the living room. He can see a few wine glasses dangle above the bar table. The dining table in front of the bar fits four people to eat.  There are flowers from last night which nicely sits on top of it inside a vase full of water.

The thing that catches his eyes the most is her bookshelves. It is a couple of six tier bookshelves squeezing her 42-inch-TV in a natural wood color. Six wooden baskets fill up the first tier. Jinyoung hesitates to pull them out, so he tells himself to see the next one. The second and third tier fill with cute merchandises and photos. There is a picture of her late dog, dalgom, her parents, Blackpink and few other people. He also sees figurines of some characters Jinyoung isn’t sure of how they named them.

The rest of the bookshelves filled with books. Jinyoung recognizes most of the title in there. Some he had read, some he’s not sure of. She arranges them according to the author’s last name. No dust, no weird objects lying around, she takes care of it pretty well. Jinyoung looks up to the highest tier and suddenly remembers, does she still have my book?

Jinyoung lend her a book once, a few weeks before their separation. He’s somewhat feeling stupid but he is hoping to find it in her bookshelves. His eyes roam to each of the book’s spine. He can’t find it on the fourth tier, nor on the fifth one, not even on the highest tier.

He doubts himself and goes for the second try.

“What are you doing in my living room?”

Jinyoung turns his head and finds Jisoo standing in the hallway. She is now wearing an oversized black sweater and grey leggings. Jinyoung smiles a bit.

“I shouldn’t have mention about your clothes. You look better before.”

Jinyoung chuckles and walks toward her. Jisoo glares at him and covers her chest unknowingly.

“I bring food,” Jinyoung talks as he takes out stuffs from his plastic bag. “I’m not sure of what you want to eat. There are apples and grapes, kimbab, chicken and yogurt. Are you on a diet?”

Jisoo looks at Jinyoung questioning. Jinyoung also looks at Jisoo questioning, with a different reason.

“How do you even know where I live?”

“Manager noona.”

“You know this is not right, right?” Jisoo puts her hands down. She tries not to look nervous in front of him. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I don’t think so. I’m also here for my jacket.”

Jisoo sees a light that brightens her mind. She jumps at her chance right away.

“That’s great, I’m gonna get your jacket now so you can leave immediately,” Jisoo replies and turns away.

Before Jisoo takes her steps, Jinyoung runs to her and grabs her right wrist.

“Don't.”

…

Jinyoung never forget the last day of Inkigayo. Everyone was excited and happy for the farewell dinner. PD-nim and the staffs threw a farewell party for the three of them in a barbeque place around Gangnam. No paparazzi, no media, just him and the rest of Inkigayo’s production team.

He ate three serving of galbi, five pieces of porkloin and two bowl of bimbimbab. He wasn’t sure whether he was hungry or trying to have a bad stomach for the following morning – he just wanted to have fun. However, unlike him, Jisoo was quiet and rarely touched her foods.

“You don’t like meat, Noona?” Doyoung stated his question after hesitating for the past 30 minutes.

“Ah,” Jisoo startled and looked at Doyoung. “No, I like meat. I’m on a diet.”

Jisoo smiled brightly and picked a piece of meat with her chopsticks. She chewed slowly and averted Doyoung’s eyes.

“Everyone, I want to start the toast,” PD-nim yells from the end of the table. “Let’s have our Jinjido in the front.”

Jinyoung turned to see PD-nim. He glanced to the other two and smiled. Jinyoung, Jisoo and Doyoung stood and walked to the front as everyone clapped for them. 

“Is everyone’s glass full?” PD-nim cheered and pumped up the crowd. Everyone was cheering and clapping in return. “Well then, let’s have our MCs share their thoughts first. Maknaengie, you can start.”

Doyoung grabbed a glass in front of him and spoke.

“I really am speechless. I can’t believe it’ll all end today. I want to thank PD-nim for everything. I’m not even sure why I was chosen to be a presenter in Inkigayo. I was sure you were mistaking me for Taeyong hyung.”

The crowd laughed over Doyoung’s speech. He then bowed and thanked all of the staffs for the hard works and assistances he had been receiving.

The following on would be Jisoo, but she seemed out since the moment Doyoung spoke.

Jinyoung already sensed something bad and cut in before PD-nim talk. “I want to speak before Jisoo-ssi, noona."

PD-nim turned her head to Jinyoung, “okay. You can go first Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung cleared his throat and looked around.

“First of all, I think Jisoo hyung deserved to speak after me since he is the oldest,” everyone laughed, “I want to thank PD-nim, most of all, for guiding me and the others throughout this year. For all the supports and cheers I’ve been receiving until today.”

Jinyoung bowed to Hong PD deeply.

“I also want to thank all of Inkigayo’s production team. Thank you very much for the help, I’ve learnt so much in the span of a year.”

Jinyoung bowed to the staffs a couple of times.

“And last, since they are the most important people of my Sunday routine, Jisoo-ssi and Doyoung-ssi,” Jinyoung turned a bit to his right, looking at his two co MCs. “We were strangers when we met for the first time and I wasn’t even sure if I can work well with the two of you. But, after months of working together, all I can say is, I feel bless and grateful to have worked alongside the two of you.

“I apologize to all of the mistakes I’ve made and burdened the entire team,” he grinned, “aside from that, I enjoy and will happily accept invitations if the future MCs can’t come.”

The whole room laughed away and clapped together. Jinyoung smiled to PDnim and the rest of the room.

“Jisoo-ssi, it’s your turn,” PD-nim looked back to Jisoo. To everyone surprise, her eyes already wet with tears. The atmosphere suddenly turned cold and everyone felt nervous.

“Jisoo, if you can’t-“

“I’m okay,” Jisoo looked up and brushed her eyes. “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to make everyone sad.”

She showed her widest smile showing her gum and teeth.

“I want to thank everyone in this room for the support I’ve been receiving for the past year. Especially PD unnie, saranghaeyo.” Jisoo showed her aegyo and threw a small heart at her.

“I learned so much, thanks to everyone. I know I lack of confidence and skill when I start this,” everyone showed disagreement with encouraging shouts, “but I’m thankful for the kindness and love everyone has been giving me. I’m going to miss all of you.

“Especially our maknaengie and Jinyoung-ah,” Jisoo turned her head to her left and right, “this is the best experience I ever had since my debut.”

Jisoo bowed to PD nim and the whole room. She clapped together with everyone and smiled happily for the last time.

“Well, that summarize everything,” Hong PD spoke right after the cheers ended.

Hong PD then showed her gratitude to the MCs and staffs. She finished the session with a toast, which followed with another round of applauses and cheers.

The farewell dinner ended a little after midnight. Everyone bid their goodbyes to the three MCs and hugged them one by one. That night was the last time Jinyoung, Jisoo and Doyoung can have a normal conversation on Sundays. It was indeed a sad day for the three of them.

“I’m going to miss you, hyung,” Doyoung hugged Jinyoung tightly for the hundredth time that night.

“Me too,” Jinyoung tapped Doyoung’s back lightly. “We need to meet after this for lunch or dinner.”

“Or midnight snacks,” Doyoung pulled his body away from Jinyoung. The both of them laughed once again.

“By the way, hyung. I don’t see Jisoo noona. I think you need to find her.”

Jinyoung looked around the almost empty room with a sad look. Doyoung tapped his back and left him. Jinyoung knew exactly where she was. He noticed when she left the room the moment Hong PD greeted everyone and left the party.

Jinyoung walked silently to the emergency exit behind the elevator. Jisoo was standing at the corner, facing the wall as Jinyoung opened the door. He could swear to everyone, it was the most heartbreaking sound he had ever heard.

“Everyone is going home,” said Jinyoung carefully. “Let’s go home as well.”

Jisoo stood still, didn’t move. “I’m going in a bit. You can go first.”

“Why are you crying?” Jinyoung got closer to her. Her voice is shaking and Jinyoung was trying hard not to punch himself that night.

“I’m not crying,” Jisoo cleared a little loud.

“You’re kidding me right. You are crying right now, do you think I can’t hear?”

“Why you care? Just leave already. I’m going after you go.”

“I’m not going until you tell me why you are crying.”

“I’m not crying.”

“Don’t joke with me Kim Jisoo,” Jinyoung raised his tone a little and pulled Jisoo’s left arm with his right hand. Jisoo stumbled and twirled to Jinyoung’s chest, shocked.

He gripped her arm with a little force to a reason Jinyoung wasn’t sure about. Jisoo felt it hurting her a little. She barely breathed; she didn’t notice how close she was with Jinyoung’s chest for a while.

“How the hell this is not crying, Jisoo?” Jinyoung looked down to Jisoo who averted her eyes from him.

“Why do you need to know why am I crying? It’s over Jinyoung. You need to stay away.”

“You haven’t answered me,” Jinyoung whispered.

Jisoo felt pissed. She knew for sure Jinyoung knew the reason why she was crying. Why did he need to hear it from anyway?

“I was sad,” Jisoo answered, “happy now?”

Jisoo held her chin up to meet Jinyoung’s eyes. 

“No,” Jisoo raised her right hand to Jinyoung’s cheek. She was scared seeing tears forming in Jinyoung's eyes. “No. You can’t cry. Don’t cry. I’m the bad one, so you can’t cry.”

Jisoo rubbed Jinyoung’s eyelid with her thumb in panic. She gasped and rubbed her thumb all over Jinyoung’s tears. She swore to herself, the last thing she wanted to do was to be a burden to Jinyoung. To witness him cried had never crossed her imagination.

“Please, don’t cry. Please. I’ll do anything but please don’t cry.”

Jinyoung breathed in the heavy air, which now surrounded them. He shed tears before. For his debut, for GOT7’s first fan meeting, for GOT7’s first win, for all the touching and desperate moment in his life. But never for a woman.

“Just tell me why you were crying,” Jinyoung stared deeply at Jisoo’s eyes.

“I was sad,” replied Jisoo quickly. “It’s our last day. I’m just full of emotion since it is our last day together.”

Jisoo stopped rubbing Jinyoung’s face and placed her palm to his cheek.

“I didn’t mean to make you sad. I was just feeling a little sad and- Ah!”

Jisoo let a scream suddenly. Jinyoung’s hand tightened the grip on her left hand.

“I don’t buy that Jisoo,” Jinyoung’s voice was full of raged. He let go of her hand and hugged her to his chest.

“Because my brain has been telling me to be mature about it, but my heart hurt so much every time I saw you. Don’t you know this is our last night?”

Jisoo’s heart pumped faster each time a word came out of his mouth. She clenched to Jinyoung’s sweater so tight, she might rip it.

“Why can’t you cry in front of me?” Jinyoung’s voice was shaking. “I’ve been trying to be a better person for you. I thought one day you could lean on me and trust me for everything. Stop being nice and tell me how you feel, Jisoo. It’s our last day for God’s sake; don’t you think now is the right time for you to share your pain with me?”

Jinyoung panted and hugged Jisoo even tighter.

“I’m sorry, Jinyoung-ah. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes, badly holding back his tears.

She was an angel, protecting him with wings on her back. He was a demon spoiling her kindness with his ego, thus broke her wings into pieces.

Dear God, is an angel still an angel with broken wings?

To everyone who's been encouraging me, thank you