“It hurts,” Jisoo pleads at him.

Jinyoung finds her teary eyes and realizes he’s been holding to her wrist too hard.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

“Leave,” she cuts him off. She holds her red wrist to her chest and backs away.

Jinyoung curses himself for letting his body acts out of his will. Her wrist is now red as if a hot towel wrapped around it for too long. 

“Please, Jinyoung-ah. Leave.”

He was scared; he always does this to her. He always manages to hurt her with what he did or said everytime his emotion controls him. Whether he makes her cry with a touch or scares her with his voice. He was a demon indeed.

“Alright, I’ll go.” Jinyoung takes his mask and leaves her standing in the hallway.

The moment Jisoo hears the front door closes, she cries, letting everything in her heart soar to the sky

…

Jinyoung runs to his car and speeds up to his apartment. He calls Seung Hoon as he drives.

“You were wrong, Hyung. She hates me. 

“What are you talking about? What exactly happened?” Seung Hoon worries hearing Jinyoung’s word. He was so excited this morning after he proposed his idea to him. He was sure he’s going to hear a good news the evening. Yet, it’s not even 3 in the afternoon.

“We were wrong, Hyung,” Jinyoung speaks, “we’re so stupid to think that this plan will work.”

Jinyoung sighs and continues, “we’re too confident to think that she still likes me. No. I’m too full of myself to ever think she ever liked me. Our feelings were never mutual, Hyung. I like her, but she- she is just being nice to me.

“She sacrificed herself for me so that I won’t get hurt. Yet, I always hurt her. I’m sorry, Hyung. But I can’t stand to see her cry anymore.”

Jinyoung lets out a big sigh. He stops his car right around the corner to his house and rests for a while.

“She looked like she was seeing a ghost for the first time when she looked at me. As if I’m going to kill her with a knife or something. Have I ever done something to scare her, Hyung?”

…

Jisoo reaches her phone and calls Jennie a few hours after Jinyoung leaves. She cries and pleads for Jennie to be with her tonight.

“I’ll come, okay. Trust me. Just don’t do anything stupid.”

Though Jisoo asks her to come at night, Jennie worries and decides to come as fast as she can. Not more than a half hour past and Jennie already in front of Jisoo’s apartment.

“I’m sorry you have to come,” Jisoo greets Jennie as she opens the front door.

Jennie hurries herself in and hugs her tight. “Don’t apologize, it would make it worse.”

This is not the first time Jisoo cries in front of her. She cried on their first concert, on their last performance, when Dalgom died and the night she ended her relationship with Jinyoung.

“Let's get on the couch and you can have my shoulder to lean on immediately,” Jennie whispers and drags Jisoo to her living room.

She positions herself and Jisoo on the white couch side by side. She hugs her side and caresses her hair with full of care.

“What is it? Tell me, Unnie” Jennie gives a soothing voice to calm her down, “is it him? Did something happen last night?”

Jennie studies Jisoo’s red eyes, she must’ve been crying all this time, she thinks.

“Nothing happened last night,” Jisoo whispers between her sobs.

“So is not about him?” Jennie asks with a little worry.

“Jinyoung came here this morning.”

Jennie’s heart pounds faster hearing Jisoo’s statement.

“Why is he here?”

“Breakfast,” Jisoo turns her head to the dining table on the right side of the living room. Jennie automatically turns her head to where Jisoo heads. He can see a few boxes, fruit, and a plastic bag scatter on top of it.

“Are you back with him?” Jennie smiles a little to Jisoo’s face.

“Of course not.”

“Then why is he here for breakfast?” Jennie asks confused.

Jisoo then tells Jennie what happened last night in the most detailed version she could think of. How her manager set her up by telling her that Jinyoung wouldn’t come. Which, she met him the moment she arrived. She also tells her that he followed her to the restroom, talked to her and even touched her cheek. She finished the story by telling Jennie about the jacket he left for her.

Jennie sits still on her place trying to absorb the whole story.

“And I didn’t know he would come this morning,” Jisoo pauses, mending her breath. “He told me he knew my address from Sang Won Unnie. He wanted to have breakfast with me and asked me for his jacket-”

“Then why do you need to cry, Unnie?” Jennie asks Jisoo with a stern voice.

Jisoo lifts her head to meet Jennie’s eyes and finds it scary.

“What do you mean ‘why do I need to cry’? Don’t you understand?”

“No, Unnie. Enlighten me,” Jennie replies Jisoo with her best happy voice.

Jisoo looks at Jennie and feels corner.

“I know you’re going to blame me again, but meeting him is still a hard thing for me, Jennie-ya. I haven’t moved on yet.” Jisoo weakly replies.

“Why do you need to move on?” Jennie’s eyes are now looking sad, confusing Jisoo.

“We talked about this a lot Jennie. I badly like him in the past. It’s hard for me to let go of my feelings if I keep seeing him. So I need to stay away from him, to forget and move on.”

“Then why are you crying today? Why did you cry after meeting him?”

Jisoo nervously looks at Jennie. She can feel her own hands shake out of her will. She knows exactly what Jennie wants her to say.

“Because I still like him, Jennie,” Jisoo answers with hate and anger. “Because I stupidly still like him. Because he still smells like lemon and her hair still looks good in the shade of dark brown.

“And if I like him like that, I might ask him to be with me again,” Jisoo breaks in tears again.

“Then, be with him, Unnie,” Jennie cries, biting her lip.

Jennie feels hurt every time Jisoo comes to her about Jinyoung. It’s always with tears, with sadness, things she hopes will vanish soon.

“I can’t Jennie,” Jisoo keeps crying on Jennie’s chest. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Stop being a coward-“

“I can’t!” Jisoo screams and pulls herself away from Jennie. “And I’m not being a coward.”

“Yes you are, Unnie,” Jennie stands up and looks down to Jisoo who is still breathing unevenly. “Is it still the same reason you told me years ago before our disbandment?”

Jisoo doesn’t answer.

“Is it, isn’t it?” Jennie exhales a long breathe and sits back again. “Stop belittling yourself. You’re Korea’s Most Beautiful Women, Unnie. You receive most award this year. You’ve proven yourself that you’re really good at everything.

“You have a promising career and a bright future. Why do you still care about the hate comments?”

“I don’t care about them,” Jisoo pleads at Jennie. “I care about Jinyoung.”

It’s the same sentence that Jennie heard years ago; when she confronted Jisoo about her feeling.

“Why are you scared about them? Jinyoung-ssi won’t even care about those comments.”

“Jennie-ya, do I need to repeat everything? Those haters are trying to put me down because I’m not good enough. They tried to put Blackpink down because I’m not good enough. If Jinyoung were to be in my life, I’m sure they’re going to bring him down too.

“I can’t have Jinyoung suffers because of me.”

Jisoo cries again, holding all her tears with both of her palm on her face.

“Unnie,” Jennie begins to tear up a little. She grabs Jisoo’s body and hugs it tight. “I told you, stop blaming yourself.”

“But I can't. It’s me I’m scared about. Why can I be perfect, Jennie?”

“Nobody’s perfect, Unnie. Not even me.”

“No. You’re perfect, Jennie. So does Jinyoung. And I can’t let myself to ruin him.”

“Unnie, please stop saying bad things about yourself. You’re perfect in your own way, those haters can’t hurt you. Nor him. Don’t you ever consider his feeling?”

Jisoo slows her breathing and looks up to Jennie, “his feeling?”

“Yeah. His feeling. Don’t you ever think about how he feels? About how he misses you?”

“Why would he miss me?”

“Unnie, why are you being so-,” Jennie pauses to think for the right word, “mean?”

“Mean? MEAN? Why am I being MEAN, Jennie? I sacrifice everything. I restrain myself to get near him, I cry on our anniversary every year, I’m being miserable here. Why am I the one who is mean?”

Jennie stands and takes a few steps away from the couch.

“I know you the longest in this industry, Unnie. You’re brave, cheerful and nice to everyone. You take care of us as if we’re your own sisters. You rarely cry, but you will tear down a whole mountain if someone hurt us. I look up to you so much, unnie.

“But, this, this thing you keep telling is full of nonsense. You are scared of something that doesn’t exist. Why can you just be honest with yourself? I thought you like him? I thought you love him?”

“I am, Jennie-ya. I love him so much.”

“Then why are you avoiding him and being scared about your own feeling? Is everything in the past not enough to make you believe in yourself? Weren’t you happy before?”

“I-“ Jisoo stutters. She is feeling scared and unprotected right now.

“Did he ever hurt you? Dis everything that happen in the past is not enough to make you believe his feeling towards you?”

“You look pretty with your hair up.”

“Aren’t you tired? Give me your hands.”

“I actually don’t like it, but you look so happy.”

“I miss you, don’t you miss me?”

Memories of Jinyoung flashes before Jisoo like broken film records. It only shows the things she loves the most and repeats the happy parts. Jinyoung’s calm and deep voice pierces through her mind and crushes her heart.

Jisoo remembers the happiest moment of her relationship. It’s simple and normal. It never flowers or dolls; it’s the soft touches of his hand on her hand and hair, his mocking tone every time she forgets to tie her hair before she eats ramyun.

“You’re going to eat your hair.”

“You’re hurting yourself, Unnie,” Jennie’s voice awakens Jisoo. “And you’re hurting him as well.”

“I’m not hurting him,” Jisoo cries. “We haven’t talked for years.”

“You said it yourself. You haven’t talked for years. Do you think it’s not hard for him?”

“We had a deal,” Jisoo pants and stares into Jennie’s eyes. “We accept the terms.”

“I know, Unnie,” Jennie clenches her fist. “Why can’t you get my point?”

“It’s no use, Jennie-ya. It’s not like he ever likes me.”

To everyone who's been waiting for update, here you go :)