🔒 When I was a kid, all my worries during Christmas time were about what Santa would bring me for being a good kid. I was a little rebel to be honest. I always felt the need to express myself.

I didn’t understand back then why I was the way I was, but it wasn’t a worry. “Go out, have fun, come back before sun down.” It’s what my mom would say.

One time I stayed out til past 10pm and my parents were worried. I wanted to be free, to be myself, to enjoy life and do what I want.

Now as an adult I know better. Things aren’t as easy as I thought they were like when I was a kid. Sometimes, I wish the world was as carefree as I was when I was young.

It is not.

I told my parents and sisters everything. I was terrified.

My sisters, they said they knew. They could tell. My middle sister told me she had seen me back in high school with that girl I liked back then.

My parents were surprised and they didn’t say much. My mom was really quiet. My dad just told me to be careful.

There was no discussion about it. Everyone kind of went their own way after. When I left this morning to come back to Seoul, they wished me a safe trip, but did not mention anything at all.

I’m trying to be positive knowing how much my parents love me, but at the same time I can’t help this wave of disappointment washing over me. I feel like I’ve failed as a daughter but yet I see no hate or ill will in their eyes.

I don’t think sleep w