Eleven:

I remained in classes the entire day, even skipping lunch break. Chaeyoung was worried about my health and I assured her it must be something I ate. I didn’t want to lie to my bestfriend but currently I didn’t have any guts to even catch a glimpse of Sana after the ridiculous act I did this morning.

It was the end of school and I changed into my uniform at last after all the teammates had left. My stomach churned thinking about her but I took some deep breaths and tried to focus on today’s big event; my audition. Third audition actually…but hey some people take longer afterall!

Mr. Changmin flashed an encouraging grin as I walked towards the pitch, the rest whispering and someone yelling inquiries if I really am Baekhyun’s sister. I ignored those, ofcourse. I also ignored Sana staring at me from behind the crowd. A spark shot through my body even as our eyes met for a very brief second; her confession echoed at the back of my mind.

I grabbed the bat tightly, nervous but determined. This was going to be my everything. Mr. Changmin announced that he was holding another special audition for me and Chungha who couldn’t make it before due to sick leave.

He shot the first ball and I hit it perfectly high, the ball landing on the outer field. The whispers turned to loud cheers and applauses. My heart leapt and a rosy grin spread on my own face. The coach gave me thumbs up and shot another ball, and another. I hit all brilliantly and the cheers echoed throughout the stadium. They started chanting my name and rushed to engulf me into high-fives and questions.

I told them that I really was Baekhyun’s sister, and that no I couldn’t try to talk him into a date with anyone, and that I was thankful for all the congratulations I was receiving. Mr. Changmin announced that I was now officially a part of the girl’s team.

I giggled like a kid as Chaeyoung hugged me, also yelling congrats, and I felt like my body was burning with all the rush I was feeling in that moment. It seemed unbelievable. I really did make it to the team. I kept repeating to myself in my head.

All hugged me and shook my hands, except her. She clapped from the corner, a content smile spread on her face. I smiled back but turned away shortly after. I didn’t look back again.

The irony was painful. She was part the reason of my success today yet I couldn’t even thank her properly because I was too much of a coward to face my own feelings. I perhaps broke her heart all over again like that.

I returned home with a wide grin threatening to tear my lips. I yelled as I ran to Baekhyun who had arrived earlier. I then hugged mom and jumped a little. She was certainly very taken aback.

“What happened?” Baekhyun asked first, eye wide with amusement.

“I made it to the team!” I exclaimed and he yelled in response, both of us then doing it together and making mom put her hands to her ears.

“I KNEW IT! OFCOURSE! YOU’RE MY MVP SISTER AFTERALL!” he hopped around and then bear-hugged me, engulfing my presence in his brotherly figure. I buried my face into his shoulder, too happy to say anything anymore.

“Congratulations dear.” Mom’s sweet low voice made me break the embrace and turn to her. “How about we celebrate it? I can cook your favorite dish today.” she suggested with a warm smile and I nodded enthusiastically. And then I thought over again and shook my head.

“Not today. Over the weekend! And you can invite Mr. Siwon and Nayeon too. I would like them to be a part of this celebration.”

She stood frozen for a good minute with hung open to say something but not knowing what. I grinned, Baekhyun’s chuckle short and understanding, and went on to hold her hand in mine.

“Yes, you it heard right.” I said and she laughed weakly.

“Are you sure? Are you okay with it?” she asked, her eyes beginning to glint.

“Absolutely. Besides, I need some make-up tips from Nayeon for looking my best at the wedding. Baekhyun is useless in that area.” I said and it made us all cackle and brace in a group hug, mom’s each hand holding both of us. I could feel her shiver a little with short whimpers.

“Thank you, Dahyunnie.” She kissed the top of my head.

“No, Mom. Thank you. For everything you do for us.” I replied, and Baekhyun flashed me the proud smile that I live for.

It was so easy and seeing my Mom content like that after weeks by now was a beautiful sight to behold. Today was a great day afterall. Things had begun to take the rainbow road for me. Finally.

I was now the star player of the team. I was living the dream. I had changed TMJ; replacing Jeongyeon and now making it East Shark’s TMD against the West. I had begun to be a bet to be placed against our nemesis. It was truly going all according to how I wished for so long.

I continued to avoid Sana everywhere I went. From practice to canteen to the shift between classes. Even during morning assemblies. I would not even look at her, instead be highly pretend-interested in anything besides the person herself. And when I did manage to catch a glimpse of her when she was not looking, I saw her becoming quieter and distraught each day. It was beginning to hurt me to see her this way too. But what was I supposed to do? Admit that I have been intentionally pushing her away all this time? I wasn’t prepared to tell her the reason behind it and keeping her in the blank would just hurt her more.

But not everything was going to go my way afterall. It was on Saturday during last period when I exited class only to be ambushed by Sana. She blocked my path and left me no choice but to communicate. Although neither of us actually uttered a word for a good few minutes until everyone had left and Chaeyoung told me she’ll join me at practice.

“So…” I tried first, holding the straps of my backpack tightly with sheer nervousness. My stomach was twisting when I saw her. She looked so dull. So sleep deprived. I missed her chirpy persona so much that I wished we could go back to the exact moment I had been following her and tell myself to stop before things get weird. But time machines aren’t invented yet. And neither a thing called Dahyun’s luck.

She was crying. Tears kept rolling out and she kept wiping her cheeks but with no result.

“Please…don’t…” I took a step forward and she flinched. It was my cue. I took my action back and apologized in a hush. I gave her the time to calm down and waited.

“I…don’t understand any of it and I end up thinking it’s my fault. But I just can’t figure what I did so wrong that you act like I’m nonexistent in your life.” She said, throat groggy and tears finally drying up. “If you could just point out my mistake, it’ll make this…whatever this is…a little easier to go on with. That’s all. Won’t take much of your time, I hope.” She tried so hard to smile, the pain seeping through.

I my lips trying to think of excuses. To just leave this conversation. To hide, the thing I’m best at. I was taking too long and she sighed.

“It hurts. It hurts when you behave like I don’t matter. I looked over it at first because I thought maybe you were just shy because maybe you had like