Ten:

Mr. Siwon offered to drop me back home. I returned around nine at night, my stomach so full with everything he had made for dinner. We, along with Nayeon, played board games for half an hour after that.

When I entered home I went straight to Baekhyun’s room after changing into my pajamas. He was sleeping soundlessly, holding the blanket close to his chest. As quietly as I could, I managed to slip in beside him and wrapped an arm around his waist from the back, resting my forehead on the back of his neck. I felt like a child again…like it was a summer holidays night during elementary school and my brother and I were sleeping together after he had finished reading me a story. I used to sleep exactly in this position next to him, scared of the eerie sounds our yard’s tree would make whenever wind brushed pass.

Right now, it felt like I was living in one of those memories again. I thought about how much we had grown up, and how much many things in our lives were beginning to change.

And I realized then that all this time what I had really been afraid of…was these changes. My life was taking new paths in every aspect; it was adding new characters to my story with unique arcs of their own. It was demanding me to make choices for myself. I was afraid of making the wrong choices.

But unless no path is selected, the journey wasn’t going to progress, was it? And the one thing I had learned tonight was that I needed to let go of the fear of being wrong and accept everything as it came. Even with its uncertainties and flaws.

I finally understood that it was my mother’s life and so making a choice for her wasn’t my right to do. It’s solely hers, and whether it goes right or wrong, that too wasn’t my concern.

I finally understood then that therefore I needed to begin focusing on what wrong decisions was I making and correct them before it went out of hand. I had to begin with the one thing that had been my driving force all this time: becoming the star player for my brother.

I fell asleep shortly after, feeling like one big rock had been lifted off my chest.

We were a mile away from the bus stop, walking towards school, when I thought of a very impulsive idea that seemed like the sort of thing First Kiss would say and I found myself grinning. When did she start influencing me so much?

I turned to Baekhyun who was adjusting the strap of his backpack with eyebrows furrowed slightly in attention. He had got startled to see me sleeping next to him in the morning and screamed ‘GHOST!’ for a good minute before I put a hand on his mouth and calmed him down. I promised to let him know the next time I was going to sneak into his bedroom while he dozed off.

“What do you say…about skipping school?” I asked, a corner of my lips curving up in a smirk.

He raised an eyebrow from his position and looked very confused. “Skip school?...Dahyun wants to?” he said it like the idea was so new to him, like he heard a different language.

I rolled my eyes before he said the sarcastic joke he loved using on me. “Yes, I know I’m an attendance freak. So are you joining or not? I will not take a second to change my mind—”

“Yes!” he blurted, now standing upright and eyes sparkling with excitement. He jumped on his toes a little, making it hard to decipher who was the elder one among us.

I grinned, taking his hand in my own and turned in the opposite direction to school.

He was surprised when I took him first to the café our Dad would take us to when we begged for some chocolate muffins. They served them best here, and even though he used to tease us before either one of us would threaten to cry, he would always make time out on Saturdays to spend it with us as we sat at the corner right table. Mom would stay back at home to prepare dinner, saying she wasn’t so fond of the strong scent of caffeine.

After that I took him to the toyshop our Dad used to bulk purchase kid-size baseball equipments on discount from. I wanted a purple Furby and Baekhyun wanted Transformers’ figurines, but he would make excuses and only buy us things related to the sport. We laughed about how looking back at it now, being good at baseball was just forced on us by our weird father.

Lastly, as the day was coming to an end, we strolled through Hangang river path. Many people who seemed to have finished their shifts at schools and work were making their way all throughout the area; jogging, cycling, exercising and holding picnics under the shady trees.

We were exhausted by all the walking through the three places I remembered best about Dad. Our pace was as slow as two snails and the bags on our shoulders were leaning to drop off any moment but we were too unbothered to adjust them back.

“Once I stole off 5000 won from his purse when he was getting ready. I wanted to buy a new lollipop my classmates were obsessing over…was supposed to be so sour we couldn’t finish it. I thought he hadn’t noticed,” Baekhyun laughed lazily, “but next morning, all the coins from my piggy bank had disappeared mysteriously.”

I snorted. I knew that incident. Dad was happily counting an odd mountain of coins with a satisfied smirk during breakfast one day. “Once I wanted a doll for a class activity. He rolled a cloth and painted face and hair on it. Told me the teachers were only encouraging capitalism. I didn’t even understand what that meant at that time.”

“I wonder what went through his head when he did things like that.” Baekhyun chuckled and sat down on the darker-tint grass, legs probably giving up. I sat across him, resting on leg on top of his own. “Mom had asked him to buy cherry tomatoes on the way for a house party. He additionally bought a packet of red ping-pongs and gave that to her instead to get a reaction. She made him sleep on the couch for the next three days.”

I laughed so hard it made me fall back a little. He couldn’t hold himself either and laughed along, our cackles echoing among other chatters and bantering going on around us. I sighed, half-focusedly scratching my arm. “Baekhyun…” I was reluctant. He dropped his head to a side and hummed in a yes. “Didn’t it…didn’t it bother you at all? About Mom getting remarried…”

He sighed and lulled his head back, speaking after a pause. “It did at first. I didn’t know how to respond so I ignored her for a few days. I gave myself time to think about it and I realized that…she needed someone too, you know. After Dad passed away…we both had each other. But Mom…she spent all these years all on her own. She could’ve found someone else back then…she could’ve. But she chose to look after us instead. She stayed single so we didn’t have to deal with those kinds of parent issues while growing up. But I guess it’s time she let it go and found her own happiness with Siwon.”

He looked back at me and smiled toothily at my state. “Aww, come here you big baby~” he engulfed me in a hug as