Okay, so first of all guys, i wanna tell you to set your reading mode in a dark mode.. okay? Don't ask me why hahahahalol

And to inform you, the red one is flashbacks okay?

Since I'm a fan of Taylor Swift since her 'Fearless' album, i decided to write this one. At first i decided to write the "White Horse" but i changed my mind lol. 

See? I stand legends hahahaha SNSD and Taylor Swift, oh god.

 

So you can start reading now, enjoy and bye bye! *Waves*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

November 26th 2020

 

 

I let out a deep breath and slowly breath it out. 

 

Am i ready? It's been a years since i saw you..

 

Okay this is it..

 

I took my last step to open this door in front of me

 

I closed my fist, slowly lifting it up to knock on your door but before i could do that, you opened it up

 

And there you are. Still look good than ever, giving me that smile i fell for..

 

You are the one who wanted to go into my apartment since you just want to give me something but i insist to go here with yours.

 

"Hi?" We both greeted each other awkwardly.. or maybe i was

 

We both stay silent, just looking at each other, wandering if there's something changes on our appearance.. and with you? You still look cute

 

You cleared your throat that made me taken back "It's getting cold, come inside"

 

I smiled when i can see that you're still worried at me

 

You let me in first before you close the door and follow me behind

 

Your apartment still look the same

 

I take a seat into your couch that we bought a years ago and look around as you took me some coffee to drink

 

A photo frame caught my attention

 

It was your sister.. uncle and auntie

 

"Are they still living in Cheomdam-dong?" I asked when you came and gave me my all time favorite coffee that you always brew for me

 

"Yeah.. But Unnie is now currently living on Hawaii with her husband"

 

[I'm so glad you made time to see me

How's life, tell me how's your family?

I haven't seen them in a while]

 

[You've been good, busier then ever

We small talk, work and the weather

Your guard is up and I know why]

 

We rarely talk right?

 

There's just a small smiles, simple hi hello how are you and eye contacts when we bumped to each other in one event or so whatever

 

Well at least you make yourself busy with some things you love to do

 

[Because the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind]

 

I hurt you.. right? I cause a big pain in you..

 

I remember when you told me that i can't get out into your mind. 

 

But i didn't care and let you

 

[You gave me roses and I left them there to die]

 

Me and stupidness

 

December 26th 2017

 

A years ago, that night, you gave me a bouquet of roses. You're standing beside my car

 

Hugging yourself to prevent the cold

 

I can see some snowflakes on your coat, you let yourself get cold just because of me

 

"What are you doing here?" My own coldness shivers me, so what about you? Maybe you are

 

Then you flashed me that charming smile of yours

 

"I'm here to change your mind?" You responded like an innocent one

 

You look so cute but i was drown in my pride and fears

 

"There's nothing to change anymore, Choi sooyoung. I've told you already!" 

 

You look down

 

"And you've said already that you're let-"

 

"I guess, you won't change your mind anymore"

 

[So this is me swallowing my pride

Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night

And I go back to December all the time]

 

After that night, i didn't see you anymore. I never thought that would be the last time I'll see you. 

 

You really meant what you've told me a day before that..

 

But the fear and pride are still here.

 

[It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine]

 

And here i am... I'm free, single and ready to mingle. Yeah that's funny. 

 

But you know what Soo. There's something missing out.

 

I never knew i was so lucky when i had you

 

[I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right

I go back to December all the time]

 

I'm staring on our photo albums tonight.. And the cutest one is.. all of it

 

Remember when we tried to make a snowman? We always do that every December 26th right?

 

"Sica!!!" I was busy wrapping some pink scarf on my built snowman when i suddenly heard you whining my name

 

I turn around and there you are

 

Kicking the air, sitting on the snow, crying like a kid. And beside you, a half unbuilt snowman

 

I laugh because of your cuteness

 

So, i run towards to you and wipe your tears. And for your most favorite, i planted a kisses on your whole face.

 

And a grin can be seen now in your whole face

 

"Tenkyu" you scrunched your nose cutely and you gave me a carrot for your snowman's nose

 

"I only can't build my snowman's head, baby" you show to me your pout again, pointing your unbuilt snowman

 

I chuckles and pulled you with mine to the snowman

 

 

[These days I haven't been sleeping

Staying up playing back myself leaving]

 

I have a dark circles under my eyes now. I always end up crying everynight

 

So maybe this is you before, right?

 

Uh, karma hits me

 

[When your birthday passed and I didn't call]

 

February 10th..

 

You hate that date right?

 

A wide smile is plastering on my face again now, remember what you've told me?

 

"February is coming up, soo!" I jumped on top of you at your bed and hug you so tight

 

But you're whining

 

"Why?"

 

You look at me with a sad face "I hate February"

 

I waited for your another statement but i didn't receive anything. So i peck your lips and you smile widely

 

"I hate February because everytime it came, I'm getting old and old and olddddd" 

 

There you are again, faking your tears 

 

I let you sulking like that until you stare at me with your blank face

 

"But it's okay, you and our girls are here so i don't hate it anymoreee" you smiled toothily

 

You loved your birthday because of me.. but how about now?

 

I guess you're enjoying it already..and for the first and last time, i failed one of your birthday because of my stupidness

 

 

[And I think about summer, all the beautiful times

I watched you laughing from the passenger side

And realized I'd loved you in the fall]

 

Summer...

That what i called you right? Wanna know why? Because i always melt when it comes to you. Okay yuck it's corny

 

I was driving onto our car which is now yours, because you're scared. You doesn't know how to drive, so that was summer when i taught you

 

"Babe" You suddenly poke my arms as i was busy paying in a toll gate , so i look at you before i drive off

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I want you to know something" You were serious so i took a small glance at you and back to the road "tell me"

 

"I love you as much as I love fries" 

 

You're so corny you know, but i love it

 

I let out a short laugh and cleared my throat to revenge at your remarks

 

"I have something to tell you too"

 

And guess what, you were smiling widely and your eyes are shining

 

"If you were a vegetable you know what you’ll be?"

 

"A lettuce!"

 

I shook my head in your childishness

 

"Nope.."

 

"Then whattt?"

 

"A cute-cumber!"

 

Silence

 

But then second later i heard your legendary laugh

 

I look at you and found you winking while laughing, just like me

 

I love seeing that view. 

 

You in the passenger side, and a summer vibes view on outside.. together with your laughter that i love

 

What a beautiful view that i lost..

 

[And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind]

 

You were staring at me with your swollen eyes

 

I was such a badass infront of you

 

"Will you now go, Soo?" I rolled my eyes in annoyance

 

We're on our supposed-to-be-apartment, it's been a week since i dumped you up and you're begging me not to leave you

 

I really don't want to.. but i really can't explain

 

"Sica please"

 

You look so miserable.. Your eyes are red, more dark circle under your eyes and you look so pale

 

You get up from your seat and kneel infront of me

 

"Baby, please.. w-were