I’m so tired. We just wrapped up the shooting for my new Web-drama ‘We Broke Up’. It was more of an emotional tiredness than a physical one really.

I don’t even know how I can manage to put a smile in my face and act in love when in truth, my heart is in pieces. I know it’s been months, but you can’t really put a timer to the process of moving on. I’m sure you know that. I must really be good in acting then.

I’m glad to be doing all these jobs. The more I do projects that do not require me to be in the YG building, the better. The last place I want to be is where he is. And he’s usually there. He practically lives there, to tell you the truth.

“Noona, we’re heading out to have some late dinner. Wanna come with?” Seungyoon, my dongsaeng and partner for this Web-drama asks.

“No Yoonie, I think I’ll head out first. I need some time to myself.” I replied with a timid smile.

He gives me a sad smile. “Noona, I know we were just acting the scene of breaking up earlier, but I can tell your emotions were real. I was scared that you were going to break down. I was ready to haul you out of there, just in case.”

“I know Yoonie. I couldn’t help myself. I’m sorry. To tell you the truth, it was as if I was talking to him, instead of you. We should’ve ended things in a better way than we did, like in that scene. Instead, we shouted and threw hurtful words. He almost hit me, if it were not for Minho barging in on us when he heard us.” My tears started coming while I recounted that day.

“Everybody knows what happened, noona. But you do know he didn’t mean to raise his hand on you, right? You were both on high emotions at that time and he couldn’t control himself.” Seungyoon says.

Of course I know that. But it also doesn’t change the fact he never said sorry after that. We didn't officially break up that day. I thought it was just one of those days we’d get over with. It wasn’t the first time we fought that bad anyway, so I thought if I can get over the fact that he almost hit me, we can make up. I was so wrong.

“I’m not even crying about that anymore.” I told Seungyoon while wiping my tears. “You know what he did after that. He started seeing Kiko without officially ending us. I still feel hurt by what he did. It felt like he left me hanging. I still feel that way.” By this time, there was no stopping my tears. I wanted to get home first before unleashing my emotions, but Yoonie just had to talk to me about it right now.

“I get that, noona. That’s also the reason why I don’t correct people when they say he cheated on you. He technically still was on a relationship with you when he went with her. So it still counts as cheating on my book.” Seungyoon placates me. “But we can’t do anything about that now.” he continues. “You just have to keep on moving forward. It might be a good idea to start seeing other people too.” he adds.

“You and your need for me to be in a new relationship sometimes amazes me.” I chuckled while tears are still running in my face. This wasn’t the first time he told me to start seeing other people. I think I’m starting to get swayed. “If I were to do that, I wouldn’t know where to start. Not that I’m planning to start dating any time soon. I’m just saying, you know.”

“Don’t worry noona, we got your back. I’m sure Minho will scan every one of your possible dates prior to you meeting them just so we’re sure they’re good guys.” Seungyoon declares.

“This is something that Bommie will usually do for me, if she was here. CL and Minzy too. I miss my girls. All I’m left with are a bunch of man-babies. I still love you guys though.” I .

“Noona, we’re nowhere near being babies. We’re willing to be your knight in shining armor when you need one.” Seungyoon says while pinching my cheeks.

“Okay, okay. I believe you! Now, lay off the merchandise!” I told him since he won’t let go of my cheeks.

“Haha. Okay, noona. I’ll go now. They were just waiting for me since I told them I was going to fetch you. I’ll just tell them you’re not feeling well. Take care going home. Saranghaeyo <3” he tells me while walking away.

I feel a little better after talking to Yoonie. That punk actually helped me reconsider some things. I felt my phone vibrate and saw an incoming call from my manager. I hurriedly wiped all my tears before picking it up.

I answered the call, trying to sound cheerful and like I didn't just bawl my eyes out a few minutes ago. “Yoboseyo? Yeah, I’m on my way home now. We just packed up. I got the offer? That’s great news! Okay, email me the details and I’ll check them when I get home. Bye!”

I leave the shooting area with a big smile on my face. I finally have an actual hosting gig. Another thing to take my mind off of him. This is exciting. I can’t wait to be in Sugarman!

I’ve been getting more known in the local and underground scene ever since I started hanging out with Crush and Zico. I’ve also been seen together with the AOMG crew so a lot of people were starting to get curious about me. I guess enduring annoying people does pay off.

I also get invited to more parties. We’re in a club and I’m now sharing a table with Jaebum (Jay Park for y’all) hyung and his AOMG crew. Good thing Hyoseob and Jiho are here with me too, so it’s more bearable. I like these two. We get along so well musically. Funny, but if there’s such a thing, you can call us musical soulmates. T