Tiffany's POV

italics= flashback
bold = Taeyeon's unspoken words
italics bold= Tiffany's thoughts

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage." -- Lao Tzu

Gripping onto my bag with my left hand, the other which was closer to Taeyeon’s side was left to swing idly on its own. I turn my head to her side from time to time, only to see my pal hugging her beloved easel with both her hands in a childlike way. Pondering whether to place my arm around her shoulders or to encircle it around her left arm, my hand did a back and forth routine, hanging in mid-air awkwardly behind Taeyeon’s back. I only want to feel the warmth from her body. Besides, I became conscious that I am getting bolder each day in showing my affection to her, with all my heart.

I smiled nervously at her when she tilted her head towards me, wondering if she saw what I was trying to do. To think that I was silently declaring my bravery earlier, I was glad that those words were not verbalised, as they would otherwise fall flatly and awkwardly in front of a Taeyeon who was looking at me with her inquisitive eyes.

“Uh haha… Taetae… Do you want me to help you in carrying the easel? It looks heavy…” I try to contain my abashment while setting up a circuitous opportunity to take hold of her hand. However, the only thing I got in return was an assuring smile from her and she tap the easel in her arms lightly before grabbing it a little tighter.

It’s ok.

I could only dejectedly stare at her occupied arms and heave a long sigh, to think that I could be jealous over a lifeless piece of wood. Nonetheless, my melancholy only lasted for a short time when I noticed that she had loosen her possessive clutches on that brown wooden easel and grab it with one arm instead. Her other hand is now idle and it is swaying in a welcoming manner, brushing against my right hand occasionally while her face remained straight. Gladden, I interlace our hands together and gave it a light squeeze, feeling my breathing getting shallower when our eyes met. That feeling was beyond describable. Holding hands is the most common form of affection or acknowledgement displayed by two people, be it kinship, friendship or relationship. However, not many of such could be compared to the ones I had with Taeyeon. Not only was it warm, it was delicate, soft and earnest. Despite that mere few seconds of eye contact, we both knew how much courage it takes to step up our already unfathomable bond, with each and every increasingly genuine touch and contact.

Unconsciously, the corners of my lips were hooked onto my cheeks after breaking away from our brief staring activity earlier. Despite looking away to hide the contentment, I know that Taeyeon was probably blushing madly too. Perhaps, this is the magic of being in love? Every day with the other feels like a fresh new beginning, as clean as a piece of immaculate white sheet waiting to be written, as pure and innocent as a newborn baby adjusting to every new found experience.

As we stroll down the streets hand in hand, the sun began it’s descend, seemingly making some leeway for the both of us to enjoy this pleasant moment. The sunset was one of the most picturesque ones we have seen together.

Nudging me by waving our tightly clasped hands, Taeyeon pointed to a familiar stall in the distance with excitement. She looks at me with her anticipating rounded eyes as she continues to direct her fingers to the rice cake stall. The aromatic tang of spiciness assaulted my nose and my stomach rumbled with eagerness.

“Rice cake in skewers! Let’s buy it! It’s been a long time since we had that together.”

Taeyeon nodded in approval before pulling me with her as we approach the friendly middle-aged woman who was tending to the cooking pot within the small stand.

“Two sticks of rice cakes please.” I requested before being greeted with a pouting Taeyeon who was struggling to lift her right hand with four fingers as she squeeze the easel under her right arm.

Make it four.

Submitting to her rarely shown aegyo, I satisfied her childlike request by informing the stall owner once more,

“I am sorry ahjumma, could we have four sticks instead please?”

I smiled sheepishly at the amiable lady before shifting my attention to the animated girl beside me, looking intently at those piping hot rice cakes in the sizzling huge pot.

“Yah! You’re gonna finish ALL, I meant, MOST of the rice cakes!” Narrowing my eyes at my smaller friend, I tried to sound humourless as I execute a grouchy face at her, only to let it all go down the drain as I melt into her childlike smile. I guess I just could not have a heart to bear any grudges with this particular girl in front of me. Perhaps, I had never wanted to.

Taking notice of her agape mouth, I push up her dropping jaw while she gawks at the rice cakes being jabbed through the wooden sticks one by one. Her small mouth is always gaping whenever she is caught up with something that fascinates her. This is just one of the many little things I love about Kim Taeyeon. She is so adorable.

I unclasped our hands reluctantly when the stall owner handed the food over while I reached for my purse in the bag to pay for them before receiving the small bags of rice cakes with both of my hands.

“Let’s find a nice place to sit as we eat them!”

This time, it was Taeyeon who initiated a cosy contact when she hooked onto my arm with her free hand as my hands are now occupied.

Let’s go! Her endearing smile complements well with her slightly tilted head while she signal for us to get moving.

After some elimination of various incompatible places, we eventually settle down on a bench in the park.  

Taeyeon excitedly extracted a stick of rice cakes from my hands before placing them just in front of her nose to inhale and enjoy the lingering smell of the delicacy. She closed her eyes and smiled in content.

Amused by her antics, I softly chuckle and extended my hand to reach for her cheeks and pressed it gently with my forefinger.

“Taetae…. Just eat them already! Before they turn cold….”  

She then brought the stick just in front of my face and looks at me with her slightly raised brows before doing an ‘Ah…” mouth motion.

Understandably, I pry my lips apart and open my mouth gradually as she pushes the food nearer. However, before I could clamp it down with my teeth, the rice cakes receded instantly and I was left to bite thin air. I look up, only to see her cheeky face as she had successfully teased me, yet again.

“Yah! Why do you always like to tease me?” I shoved her on the arm and she giggled with her disappearing eyes.

“Do you only do this to me or you did it on other girls too? Am I the only special one to receive your endless teases?” She stopped her laughing almost immediately upon my sudden deliberate question and stare at me with her wide eyes. I countered by locking our gaze, which she soon breaks away and stuff the rice cake into instead.

She is avoiding my question. Her body language tells it all.

Her fretfulness has somehow proven and answered my enquiry although I am baffled by the fact that time and again, she never had the courage to admit herself, her more-than-a-friend affections for me.

How’s your work today? Taeyeon deviated from the earlier topic by pounding her right wrist with her left fist before letting her finger do a lateral backward circular motion beside her face.

“Oh. For my first assignment I am attending to this particular patient named Yuri. She is a hockey player but was force to give up her passion when she had severely injured her spinal cord during a game not long ago. She is struggling to come to terms with the fact that she could be half-paralyse for the rest of her life. She has not eaten anything for the past two days. The nurses have tried their best to get her eating but to no avail. Hence some psychological counselling is needed for her.”

Taeyeon chews on her food in small bites as she listens attentively to the little narration of my new patient today. I drone on about Yuri as our little meal became another ‘sharing session’ from me. Little did I realise that my new assignment has drawn me in further than I had expected to, since it was only my first day with the girl of our age. Plausibly, it could be the uncanny resemblance in terms of the star-crossed lives that Taeyeon and Yuri have, that made me so intrigued to give my all in helping my first ever patient.  

***

Increasing my pace as I approach the ward of the new patient that I was assigned to, I reach for the door handle, only to pause momentarily at the doorway to eavesdrop some interesting chat going on between two nurses who are on duty at the counter.

“Ms. Kwon has barely eaten anything from the tray. Is our hospital food really that bad?”

“Well she has only been drinking water for the past two days. She is already skinny enough. She can’t go on like this. It would be a waste since she is a rare beauty after all…”

“I think her girlfriend is prettier…”

Their little natter mirrored the image that I saw through the glass door.

A lean tanned girl was sitting upright against the pillows on the metal bedstead, staring nonchalantly at her legs. The girl on the receiving end of her negligence was an auburn hair girl whose eyes were filled with despondency. She took in deep breaths in between her sentences and was sincere with each syllable that escaped through her thin lips. Visible tears were accumulating in her eyes when she could not attain a single proper eye contact from the other. Agony was written all over their faces and the edgy atmosphere in the ward made me hesitate as to whether I should invade the privacy that the couple needed. However, judging that things are not going to improve and progress any further between the two, I composed myself before knocking on the glass door lightly to politely indicate my presence.

“Hello. I am Tiffany. Dr Han has told me about your condition. I am here to help you.” I tried to phrase my sentence in a roundabout way so as to make Yuri feel comfortable with my sudden appearance in her life. The other girl in the room greeted me with a placid smile before shifting her attention back to the girl on the bed.

“Help? How are you going to help? Give me a magical concoction to fix my broken spinal cord and regain my mobility?” The bronzed girl replied a little dispassionately with her emotionless eyes fixing on the flower vase at the other end of the room.

“Yuri ah….” Her partner murmured, her voice almost croaking in a pleading manner.

“I might not be able to provide direct help in regards to your medical condition… however… I would do my best to aid in any other things that you might wanna fulfil…”

“Oh. Do you mean my psychological needs? You’re the psychologist being assigned by my doctor right? If that’s the case I guess you can’t provide any help.”  Her words hit me hard. She is one true obstinate character and to think that I am going to counsel her through. And remember, this is my first ever assignment. I could see that I am in for a tough time.  

“Yuri ah… She’s here to help....”

“Sica… You won’t understand….”

“Don’t be like this Yuri…. Do you know how much everyone cares about you? We just wanna….”

“Sica… I’m tired… Perhaps you should go back home… I am sorry…”

The fair-skin girl could only comply with her friend’s wishes as she slowly loosens her earlier tight grip on Yuri’s stiff hands. Her initially knitted brows transformed into a downward arch. Those tears that were whelming her eyes have no way but to trickle down her porcelain face.

I made my way towards the dejected girl before pulling her away from the chair.

“Let Yuri have some rest.” I place my arms around the other girl’s shoulders and lead her out of the room, turning my head to take one more glance at the impassive girl drowning in her own world of pessimism.

I knew that it was pointless to have some intense conversation with my patient since she was not in the best state of her mind. Pushing her any further in listening to my advices would drive her off a cliff’s edge.

Sipping on my cup of coffee, I glance up to look at the auburn hair girl occasionally, contemplating on how to break the ice.

“Uhm… I haven’t got to know of your name yet.”

“Jessica Jung. Nice to meet you.” She extended her slim hand and I accept it gladly to give a firm shake.

“How are you related to Yuri?” Despite knowing their relationship through the mouths of the gossiping nurses, I threw in the question just to reaffirm a more-than-ordinary friendship that they share. Just like me and Taeyeon.

“I am her girlfriend. We love each other and I love her a lot.” Jessica’s bluntness about their relationship has somehow put me to shame. How I wish I had the courage to face my own sentiments for Taeyeon. How I wish I had the courage to proclaim my love in front of her, and subsequently everyone. It may seem like an easy task to acknowledge our inner feelings. However, both Taeyeon and I have found it difficult to do so.

“In spite of this… Yuri seems to be diminishing this love that we share. I know how much she is suffering. But I am too. Witnessing her weakening body is so painful, and her stinging words didn’t do much help either.”

“Perhaps we could never understand the agony that they’re going through…”

“I guess we could only feel the ripples but never the surging currents. Yuri has to give up her passion through an injury. I guess she has never seen it coming. After all, she has been in a good shape and she wants to achieve something more when she is young. It must be devastating to lose an ability that you originally had.” Jessica lowly uttered her thoughts which were somewhat sensible to me.

I might have tried my best to fit into Taeyeon’s shoes, just to be someone understanding and supportive in whatever things she does. However, I guess I had never really been able to delve myself further into the internal struggles that Taeyeon has over the years. Does she have the same kind of anxiety that Yuri has?

“Are there any chances of recovery for Yuri?”

“The doctor suggested therapies. But he had also mentioned that the results vary for everyone. I guess Yuri has given up any hopes of recovery.”

“But this is just the beginning! And she is losing the will power to fight?! She hasn’t even begin the battle!”  I might have startled the girl across me with my little aggravated response, but I was just perplexed about Yuri’s admission of defeat.

“I don’t know… But it just pains me so much to see Yuri giving up on herself. She used to be so optimistic about everything in life. She is always the one cheering me on whenever I’m down. But now… I just wanna do the same for her. I want to be the sunshine to guide her through the gloomy days…”

“I am sure your love and support will be the impelling force behind Yuri to keep her going. With a little patience and persistence, I am sure you guys could overcome anything together.” I lightly place my hand over hers and clutch it tighter, giving some assurance and encouragement. Her determination and immense love for Yuri has my utmost admiration. Sometimes in life, we have to live and love with fearlessness. Only in fearlessness, we can overcome fear.

“I am gonna get Yuri some carrot juice. She loves it. At least it could provide the necessary vitamins for her, a better option than just water. Could you please help me give it to her later?”

Nodding my head, I look on as Jessica unhurriedly makes her way to the beverage counter with her hands in the pocket.

Despite this momentarily acquaintance, I believe that Jessica and I shared something similar; we are both trying to love someone unconditionally.

“There you are!” I place my left fist on my waist, breathing heavily from the entire high and low search for Yuri, who had discreetly left the ward on her own.

“You have poor stamina. If you were in my hockey team, you will definitely get lectured by the coach every week.” Yuri scoffed at me for the second time, or the third. Whatever it is, does she really hate me that much?

“Here. From Jessica.” I handed her the plastic cup and she look at me hesitantly. After some thoughtful pondering, she accepted the beverage from my hand and gently took the straw with her pallid lips.

“Seems like there is always an exception no matter how much you tried to be unconcerned about your life.”

The wheelchair-bounded girl only gave a cold shrug, however, I was more than relieved when she took in long sips of the beverage in her hands. At least it was an optimistic start in my course to ameliorate her condition, physically and psychologically.

I took prudent steps in striking up a conversation with Yuri, taking things light and easy as patience is always the key in forging mutual trust in between people. I attracted her attention by bringing up about her favourite sport, and she gradually open up by sharing some of the achievements she had since elementary school and so on. We talk a little about Jessica too and it was evident that her girlfriend holds a high stake in her life. Her face would flush a little upon every mentioning of her lover’s name and Yuri would sincerely vindicate her other important half when she talks about the false impressions that others have of Jessica. I try to keep the conversation light and easy, more of a preliminary stage of getting more unknown information about my patient. I positioned myself more as a listener and spent the rest of my working hours paying attention to each and every detail that Yuri has to put across. In return, I attained the kind of comfort in between us, which is vital in seeking a way out to provide the psychological assistance and assurance that she needs.

***

Smiling at the nurses and workers whom I have encountered with along the stairways, I am buoyant in meeting Yuri again. Gone was the initial anxiety in having a hard time to break down her psychological barriers. At least today, when I pushed the glass door ajar, I was greeted with a less uninterested Yuri and a sight of Jessica unwrapping boxes of food that she has brought along.

“Good morning Yuri.” The tanned girl slightly lifted her lips in an upward curl upon my entrance.

“Tako yaki balls! Where in the world did you get them at such early hours? I am sure there aren’t any stalls available in the morning….” I almost want to rub my eyes in disbelief at the brown balls being laid deliciously on the plate.

“Oh…. I made them… Yuri loves tako yaki.” Jessica gave a sheepish smile as she fidgeted with the chopsticks in her hands.

“Uhm… Yuri ah.. I don’t know if they’re gonna taste as good as the authentic ones… but I do hope they could help in revitalising your appetite for food again…” Jessica tightened her hold on the chopsticks and bit her bottom lip. Perhaps she was not positive that her efforts would make Yuri eat again after receiving waves of rejection from the other for the past few days.  

“Sica….. I…” The girl sitting on the bed allow her eyes to linger on her lover’s before shifting them to her favourite food on the tray. The couple was caught in an awkward silence again, something that might have been familiar to them for the past few days.

“Don’t waste her efforts Yuri.” I interjected before taking a quick glance at Jessica’s increasingly concerned expression.

The raven hair girl was spared from an obligatory response for us when Jessica’s mobile echoed through the room. Picking up the call, her face contorted before breaking her ear away from the phone and encloses the receiver as she excuses herself out of the room.

“Is it really difficult to acknowledge the efforts done by her? Do you know how much a single action from you could affect her emotions? Jessica only meant well….” Finding it hard to hold in my exasperation upon Yuri’s unresponsiveness towards her lover, I allow those words to escape my lips unreservedly.

“I know….”

“Then?”

“I just don’t deserve it…”

Unworthy. That simple sentence tells so much. It has finally dawned on me that what Yuri has been feeling was the lack of self-worth. It has somewhat summarised all the possible reasons behind my patient’s dejections and self-resignation, and very much reflects the way how Taeyeon was cautious in conveying her inner feelings towards me.

“I am not worthy for Jessica. I am not worthy for her love. I would only implicate her life….”

“Yuri… but…”

“You guys would never understand our plight, our plight as a patient. Please listen to me Tiffany…” Yuri trailed off to a beseeching whisper. Adverse emotions muddle up in my heart. I was delighted that the headstrong girl has finally chosen to voice out her emotions, however, I recognised the rationale behind her decision to bear it all. It was a supplication.

I inched forward to take place on the chair beside her, floating my hand over hers before patting it lightly, indicating for her to continue.

“Perhaps in ordinary people’s mind, Jessica is trying to view me just like any other healthy and ordinary person so as to be non-discriminatory. However, I know very well in my heart that I couldn’t be the healthy Yuri that she loves anymore. I just can’t live with the fact that I am still perfect in her eyes, because I am not anymore.”

“But no one is perfect…” I countered with one of the many typical stances taken by typical psychologist. On the contrary, a statement that sounded so right actually has its loopholes.

“However I am still inadequate…”

It is difficult to fulfil the definition of perfect, however, many of us are still trying to attain at least, something closer to faultless, which is to keep our flaws to its minimum. Having the possibility of living on a wheelchair for the rest of her life has definitely deflated Yuri’s morale in achieving an ideal love and life with Jessica.

“I was healthy and able all this while. I never had to imagine myself being unable to do the simple means of an ordinary person. However, ever since the day I broke my spinal cord, I was completely struck down. That was when I realise I’ve taken something so ordinary for granted. I wasn’t able to understand the struggles of disabled people. Now I can. It was as though I had fallen into a well. To many others, looking down a well only allows them to see half the picture. They could only infer that a well is deep and dark. However, it is only when I fall deep and hard into the waters that I actually realise how high and difficult it is to get out of the well again.”

Yuri looks hopelessly at her legs as droplets of tears fall and soak the white sheets that her limbs were hiding under.    

Perhaps she was right. I could never understand the pain and sufferings that they had undergone, Taeyeon and her. The perspectives of looking down a well and looking up from a well are definitely very different. As much as I had wanted to be compassionate and supportive for Taeyeon, I will never comprehend the internal struggles and means to cope with her own disability.

Yuri’s unfortunate circumstances had opened both my heart and eyes.

Processing all the little information in my mind, I hold in a deep breath and allow silence to occupy the space between us before moving my lips to offer some necessary advices and viewpoints of mine.

“But do you know how hard it was for Jessica as well? It hurts her so much to see you struggling in the waters of the well. Things would be much different if you could allow her to help you. It is definitely difficult to fall and stuck in a well, but it would be less difficult if there was someone else. I am sure she would try all ways to save you from the dark, even if it means plunging down into the well with you. Jessica’s love will save you out of this slump.”

The tanned girl lifted her face, looking at me with her pursed lips. Her clench on the blankets loosens as more tears trickle down her sunken cheeks.  

“Let Jessica be your solution, let her be your lifebuoy.” I took the tako yaki nearer to Yuri.

“Taking the first step is never easy, it requires a lot of courage. However, you never know if you never try.”

Yuri gave a hesitant look before repositioning her eyes on the plate of food in my hands. My lips gradually curl up when Yuri began to reach for the chopstick which I gladly handed over. She cautiously places a piece into and chews it meticulously, savouring every bit of love that Jessica has placed in it. A contented smile was visible on her face, it was warm and heartfelt.

“From your expression, the tako yaki looks delicious. Can I have some?” I throw in a teasing comment to lighten up the earlier sombre mood.

“No… These are mine.”

“Possessive Yuri….”

Our chuckles livened up the otherwise white and dull ward. I applaud myself silently in convincing Yuri to eat again.

“Hmm where’s Sica? What’s taking her so long? Or has she left……?”

“I don’t think so… Let me take you to find her.” Reaching for the wheelchair, I push it towards Yuri and helped her to settle on it before we embark on our search for the other girl.

After combing through the hospital’s every visitors lounge, we decide to hunt down the eco-garden in the quest for the auburn hair girl.

“There she is!” Jessica was spotted in the distance, facing a middle-aged man. Her body was stiffened while the man was gesticulating wildly. They seem to be in heated conversation.

I was halted by Yuri when I attempted to push the wheelchair nearer to them.

“It’s her dad.”

Despite being metres away, we could faintly make out what they were saying.

“Are you out of your mind? Spending the fortune I saved for you on Yuri?! Those money were meant for your wedding in the future! It’s for your happiness!!” The man raised his voice at an equally irritated Jessica.

“I was right dad! It was a wise decision! Because Yuri is my future! She is my happiness!” The girl retorted with a stern face.

I am sure Yuri heard that since I was able to.

“Sica…”

I loosen my grip on the handlebars of the wheelchair when I felt it jerking forward. Yuri was pushing the wheels on her own as she shifted towards the bickering duo.

I took a step back as I watch the drama unfold in front of my eyes.

“Are you sure you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with a half-paralysed patient?!”

“Yes. Because I love Yuri.”

“Come to your senses…”

“I love Yuri. I LOVE YURI!” Jessica’s outburst startled everyone. Her dad was obviously flabbergasted as he wagged his finger in mid air, not knowing what to say at his tenacious daughter. He stomped off without a word, leaving the couple behind as they stood near the fountain watching him disappear in the distance.

Three words. Sounded simple. But how much courage and valour was needed to utter it convincingly. Facing an obdurate father, many children would have falter under the supremacy that parents possess. However, staying true to her own feelings, Jessica proved that against all odds, true love thrives.

“Sica…. I’m sorry… Because of me… your dad…”

“There’s no need for apologies. Because in love, no one is right or wrong. There are only directions, left or right. In this case, I, Jessica Jung, have chosen to take the path that I wanted with Kwon Yuri. I will show and lead you the way in our love expedition. There will be challenges, but I will be there just to hold your hand and continue to lead you on.”

Jessica lowered herself to be on the same level as Yuri, bending on her left knee as she clasps their hands together. Both shared a long loving gaze before their faces gravitates towards each others’, lessening the space between them as they share a warm and tender kiss. Their faces were gleaming with streaks of tears rolling down, washing away all the trepidations and misgivings.

I felt a hot tear threatening to ooze out from my eye as I swiftly wipe it off before gradually turning away with a huge sense of relief. Folding my arms, I took occasional glance at the sky as I took a stroll back to the office, taking leisure and unhurried strides along the grass patches. A lot of things are going through my mind.

Despite taking on the task of providing psychological assistance to Yuri, it seems like I was the one who went through a valuable lesson from this sentimentally breathtaking experience. Jessica’s strength and courage was much more commendable than her immeasurable love for Yuri. It is easier and much simpler to extend our love to the other, however, it has to be substantiated with more than the ordinary amount of strength and bravery. This is something that I have yet to fully ascertain and grapple with.

Nonetheless, with the aim and intention to carry our strong bond further, I am sure it is only a matter of time that Taeyeon and I are going to come clean with our hidden affections.

I know that I will only become stronger as my affection for her deepens.

Taeyeon ah, are you afraid and uncertain of our future just like Yuri? Fret not, because you will be safe in my arms. Just like how Yuri has Jessica, you have me.

You give me strength

 You give me hope

 You give me someone to love someone to hold

 When I'm in your arms

 I need you to know

 I've never been

 I've never been this close

I knock on my friend’s door lightly before turning the knob quietly. Taeyeon is staring at the easel while she scratches her head with the paint brush. She let out a long yawn before turning around to face me, widening her eyes in surprise upon my return.

As usual, she pulled another chair to place it beside her and I gladly occupy it, combing those short brown tresses behind her ears. The dark patches underneath her eyes could not be hidden despite her effort to administer a warm-hearted smile.

“You have been working throughout the evening on these drawings didn’t you?” I pointed at her dark circles to indicate her weariness.

She nodded jadedly with her eyes closed.

“Don’t tell me you skipped your dinner too?” She gave another sleepy nod.

“Taeyeon ah…. Why didn’t you take good care of yourself?” My heart wrenched a little upon her little confession. I guess this was how Jessica must be hurting when Yuri has not eaten appropriately for the past few days.

“Let me get you some food to eat…” Before I could get up, Taeyeon clutch me on the arm as she signalled for me to stay in my position. Knowingly, I open my right arm when she lowered her head onto my shoulder, before repositioning it against the crook of my neck. A smile crept onto my face as I was reminded that Taeyeon loves to place her head on my shoulders like this.

“Taeyeon ah… Don’t do that again in the future… Your health and welfare are important….” I her arm in an attempt to lull her to sleep. Her hair tickles my neck as she lightly nodded her head in response.

“They are important because you’re so important to me…. Taeyeon ah…. Don’t ever harm yourself… because… it will hurt me so much more if you do so….. Do you know?” I whispered lightly into her ears, taking necessarily pauses in between my sentences as I try to summon all my guts in expressing my intimate feelings.

“Do you know that I really really love you?”

My heart comes to a temporary halt after that last sentence. I shifted my eyes nervously towards Taeyeon, only to feel a sense of involuntary relief rushing over me upon realising that she has fallen asleep. I tenderly caress her cheeks, wondering if she had caught what I had said before drifting off into her dreamland.

Close enough to see it's true

Close enough to trust in you

       Closer now than any words can say

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i know im fast but its just logical since i've already completed the fic... so the chaps will just come as when as i have the time to post them up ^^

and once again (i know im naggy)

but i really really appreciate every single comment and view from everyone =D

much love! <3

sidenote: im in the midst of a new fic which is set to release on ssf... i will like to know if u guys would be interested for it to be release at the same time here in AFF as well? ^^