“A-anyways where were we?”, I said trying to regain my composure. Sunmi looked amused but didn’t push the issue.

“Let’s see. So he would come to the clinic often and he would flirt with the others. But I didn’t take any of that nonsense. He would still try but sometimes we would just talk. During those times, I would see glimpses of the real Daehyun. The Daehyun who grew up loving Busan and singing. He said he dreamed of being a singer, but he would look so sad when he talked about it. I didn’t know why until one stormy night. I was the last one at the clinic as usual when someone knocks on the door. I opened it to tell them to come back in the morning if it wasn’t urgent. But it was Daehyun clutching his bleeding abdomen. He says he didn’t know where else to go. I quickly get him to the examination room. The bed was a little small since he was kind of bigger than a dog. But I examined the wounds and I see that it’s a bullet wound. It was my first time seeing one, but I didn’t have time to hesitate. I asked him if he knows if the bullet came out the other side. Thankfully he was sure it did so I didn’t have to dig around for the bullet. So I get to work stitching him up and bandaging him up. I’m kind of on autopilot, but after I finish it hits me Daehyun could have really died. What if he got here a few minutes later after I left? What if he hadn’t thought to come here at all? What if, what if? And it hits me that I love him. The thought of him dying was like the idea of a world without color. I know it sounds cliche but sometimes we don’t know we love somebody until we almost lose them. So there I am crying on the floor with Daehyun shirtless on the examination table asleep. Or so I thought. In between my sobs I hear a voice croak out hey I’m trying to sleep here at a feeble attempt at a joke. So I get up and I manage to get out that he’s gotta rest but not to think he was off the hook. He tried to get up but y’know bullet wounds make that hard. We couldn’t stay in the clinic so we somehow got him to my apartment.”, Sunmi paused to regain her composure. Her eyes were looking a little glassy. I put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“It’s ok. Take your time.” She nodded her thanks.

“Sorry about that. So the next morning rolls around and Daehyun regains a bit of color in his face but it’s still hard for him to move. I don’t ask questions because in addition to the bullet wound I saw old scars and wounds on his body. I could piece together that he was in some dangerous business which would explain why he never talked about his job.”

“So how did you find out he was mafia?”

“Well, you see he told me eventually. It took him a week before he could freely move around. He stayed at my apartment during that time. I still went to the clinic but I always tried to finish up as soon as possible so I could go check up on him. When he was able to walk on his own, he told me that he had to leave. The guys didn’t know what happened to him and he had lost his phone when he got shot. But before he left, he gave me a choice. He could tell me the truth or he could just leave and I would forget all about him. Of course I picked the former. For one, I loved him and two whoever went after him might come after me even if I decided to cut all ties with him. I’d watched enough dramas to know that. It would be better to know and prepare to defend myself than be left in the dark. So he told me about how he came to Seoul by himself, got mixed up in the wrong crowd until Youngjae found him beaten up in an alley. He offered him a home and a spot on the team. He was the first friend he made in Seoul and now they’re best friends. He told me that night he was attacked by their enemy gang, The Silvers or just TS for short. Their story is complicated so that’ll be for another time. After he told me that, he told me that there was no turning back and that I would be in danger. Of course, I was scared but I knew when I helped him that night my life wouldn’t be the same. So I told him that he better take responsibility and teach me how to protect myself then. He looked surprised I hadn’t freaked out on him and he asked why I still accepted him. At that point I told myself it was then or never. I told him I loved him. It was honestly almost as scary as seeing him bleed on the examination table. But it was all worth it when he said it back in his Busan accent.”, she looked happy recalling the memory.

“Have you regretted it since?”, I asked. She looked me in the eyes.

“I would be lying if I said something like no because our love is all that matters. Life isn’t that easy.” This was one of the reasons why I liked Sunmi so much. She was so cheerful, but she was still aware of how the world works.

“There are times I wonder what my life would’ve been like if I made the other choice. But I know I wouldn’t have been happy. It does that I can’t tell my friends too much about Dae Honey. I know some of them think he’s cheating on me or something because it seems like I don’t know much about him and we never upload pictures together or anything like that. Honestly, it made me jealous when I meet my friends for coffee and they brag about their boyfriends. That’s why I’m really glad we are friends. I can finally talk to someone about all this and I don’t have to hide anything when we hang out. We can just be us.”

“I’m glad we are friends too. I think you’re my best friend here in Korea.”, I admitted. But I have to leave. I’m sorry, Sunmi.